Why I STILL Have NO Friends | TRUTH.
2024 ж. 1 Мам.
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Hey y’all! Making an update video for the influx of new subscribers.
Please feel free to leave a comment describing where you’re at regarding friendships or general anxiety.
Cheers!
“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” - Robin Williams
Oh my fucking god Robin Williams never said that he said it as a character in a movie stop putting words into dead people’s mouths you all do it with Marilyn and you continue to do it with Robin it’s utterly disrespectful and just ignorant.
Very true
You should give Bobcat Goldthwait credit for writing that line. Williams just said it in a movie.
Facts
That comment hit my spirit..say that again for all the people at the back.Yaassss!!!!😲
I'm nearly 34, no relationship, no close friends, and I really needed to hear this. Thanks for being so open. It's comforting to know there are others going through similar things.
Me too , I’m 31
Me too even though I’m married for 31 years and at 58, I have no real friends even in the church.
If your life is going ok then that'ss the important thing
There are more of us than we realise
This is a common problem in current American society. The NYTimes did some good articles on this a few yrs ago. Try a golf league. Learn bluegrass and find some music circles. Running clubs. Be wary if your wife pushes you away from friendships. A red flag.
I feel the challenge is finding quality, non-narcissistic people. Friends who joke about you are a red flag to me. I don’t want friends for the sake of friends unless they will be cool to me and respect my values. I think we are at the height of a narcissism pandemic thanks to social media and modern ”culture”.
So true
friends can joke about each other.... I rip on my friends all the time and vice versa, but wouldn't allow an outsider to do so....
Guys ripping on each other is pretty normal.
Non-narcissistic people don't think it's a big deal if their friends make jokes about them...
Joking around is all good, banter and ripping into each other its what guys often do (close friends), as long as its in good taste and not genuinely just being dicks, but we can usually tell the difference easily. But you right about the narcissism pandemic, its out of control!
I think all of us are alone in our 30's because we become mature enough to delete some fake friends from our list !
“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” -Blaise Pascal
This is so very very true. Yesterday I stayed in the house all day. Started to go out just from habit and then thought I have everything I need so I sat quietly reading. Then ate a nice dinner, read some more and then lights out. No text, no phone calls. No contact=no conflict. Peace
I’m an introvert , my best friend is me , I love to be with myself . The beauty of getting older is that you learn that you don’t need others to make you happy . Best to you all , regards
I'm my own friend too and I have accepted that but when I want to go out for cruise or hiking than It comes back that I don't have friends.
My algorithm has been giving me these videos lately but I'm actually learning that a lot more ppl than I thought are friendless. I thought something was wrong with me for not having close friendships. I have a boyfriend and family so I'm not completely alone but I still yearn for a female bestie. It's just that, at this stage in my life, I haven't met anyone relatable and a lot of the ppl I meet are fake or drama and I don't want that in my life. And oddly, when I was in my 20s, I had like a hundred friends but it was nothing but drama. Knowing that there are a lot of ppl in this situation makes me worry less about my own status, but i acknowledge that we all still need the normalcy of socializing for our mental health.
It's still weird for me tho. I'm 28 now and don't have any close friends. Whener I talk to somebody, they'd always mention some of their friends, depending on the context of the conversation. Even the most "awkward" and anxious people have more friends than I do. Even if I don't have social anxiety anymore. I just don't know what to do. Like I'm really trying to make things work with people... What's even more humiliating is that it's easy to attract men who want to have sex with me, yet still no friends... quite lonely.
he has a wife, and you have a boyfriend.. you are both light years ahead of me.
Imagine that but also no relationship and no family
@@leichin5778 I learned that you have to talk to people about them (not yourself) to get ppl interested in you. I find this exhausting. And I think that's why it's hard to make friends. Bcuz ppl like us, want to be talked to instead of doing the talking at. So it's like this repetitive circle of wanting relationships but not wanting to initiate. But I think if we just try a little harder we might come up with at least one bestie. Lol.
@@justcallmejay3041 Yes it's true and in fact, I did that all the time when I was younger. Every time I met new people I turned every conversation about them and never talked about myself. So I used to have more "friends" when I was younger. But these people barely knew ANYTHING about me, but many of them loved to have me around. I also attracted a lot of men at that times. Men who wanted to be in a relationship with me. Of course I was aware that the reason they "loved" me, was because I was giving them all the attention in the world. But it made me feel HORRIBLE every time I'd spend time with them. Extremely exhausting, because they wouldn't stop talking. So meanwhile I don't do that anymore, because I learned to respect myself, hence there's less people in my life...
I'm 50 now, three daughters in their 20's. I've been single for many years. I raised my kids as a single parent with no help. It was always just me and them. I was, and still am, 8 hours away from any family. Now it's really complicated because I'm disabled. Can't work, at home all day. I had one guy friend but we've had a falling out and haven't spoken for months because he insulted my daughters. He was always great until this year. He's been awful to me since about February, so I had to cut him out of my life. Disability is isolating. I've had trouble making friends because no one could relate to my situation of being a single parent of 3, and poor to boot. When I did make a friend, they'd want to buy me lunch or something else. I felt they couldn't see me as an equal, just someone to be pitied. The years have taken their toll, hardened me. I don't open up to people now because they use whatever you tell them against you. They blame me for ending up a single parent. I always feel like I'm living on the outside of life looking in. Like everyone knows the secret to it except for me. I've never shared this before. Thank you for sharing your life. I see you and I appreciate you. I wish more men would admit their vulnerable feelings. It's not weak. On the contrary, it takes incredible strength. Be blessed friend 🙏🙌
Great Story! Don’t give up! I’m sure you have a great relationship with your daughter. 🙂
My " friends " left when I was diagnosed w fibromyalgia & couldn't go out & pay for everyone. I have no friends spend most of my time alone & on youtube & Im glad. Who needs fake people. I like being not bothered. God bless !
disability absolutely affects things. im going blind and and people are so self absorbed they cant be bothered to slow down for anyone. Im thankful that i really enjoy my own thoughts and its very difficult to find anyone of any intellectual value now, anyway hahaha. Our kind of strength, others would perish! Solidarity!
@@diabeatit5189 hello, can i be your friend? I am from Portugal
Be careful of scammers
I have lots of friends, make them easily, and have really deep relationships with some of them, so watching some of your videos was really interesting. A couple of things that struck me: 1. I think you have a really strict distinctions on who is a friend. You have a friend right there on the couch, your dog! But more seriously, do you count your coworkers as friends? Neighbours? People from your hobbies? I know it’s not the same thing as having a real deep connection, but I think once you start to think of them as friends, it makes it easier to open up and ask them to hang out etc. It’s like planting a seed. 2. I think having openness and acceptance is key. But maybe no in the way you think. If you’re looking for a really meaningful relationship right away it might make it really hard to be natural and focus on the other person. Instead, just focus on enjoying the moment with someone, even if it’s superficial at first. Learn to enjoy small talk (it can be done, I used to hate it myself). In my opinion you have to spend quite a lot of time with someone before the conversation turns to deep thoughts. 3. If you just really hate having ”superficial buddies” maybe finding people on the internet and then meeting them in person could be the key. That way you can have deep conversations first and hang out after that, so there’s not as much pressure to ”perform”. You just have to keep inviting them to meet in real life consistently.
Your advice is so kind and positive. I think we friendless folks are extremely judgemental of who comes near. I definitely am. And im working on being mindful of that. I also hate small talk. I almost told a coworker "just keep it real, we don't need to have small talk." But I held my tongue. Glad I endured it bcuz I could've ruined a work relationship lol.
@@justcallmejay3041 yes that’s what I noticed a lot of people on KZhead who say they don’t have friends are super selective. It’s not really that way for me. In middle and high school I had lots of friends, people were calling me to go out and hang all the time. Even going to toilets they had to call me to go together. Never in a million years I’d think or imagine that I’d be sort of friendless in university. It’s just been so natural and easy to make friends all my life but once I was in uni, which is now, I’m in my final year, literally almost no one calls me out to hang. Except one group of friends, and one other person, but we hang out twice a week and that’s all. I feel like I’m my uni everyone knows each other and it’s sort of like social suicide to not know many people Bc friends of friends would call each other to hang so everyone would kind of have people to hang with all the time. Once in a while besides that group and that one person some random course mate would ask to have lunch or something but compared to other people on campus that I know, I’m sort of like a pariah. Almost everyone I know are hanging out in the city or something each weekend but almost nobody asks me to go with them ever. Granted we don’t have the same interests but it’d be nice to just spend time together or at least be asked. I have five or six close friends but they have all graduated, we can only talk on call or text. There are several reasons I think for this, one is I’m much older than them, idk how they know but almost everyone knows now, secondly, I used to have a group but I once revealed to them I was struggling at a subject and they ditched me after that, and also recently I talked to a coursemate and she revealed to me that a lot of people from my course kind of hate me cause of my political beliefs. I say a lot of right wing things during class cause although I’m a left wing I usually play devils advocate cause I wanna be sure I’m supporting the right side. These people never even took the initiative to get to know me and judged me by what I say in class. One more possible reason is that I stay alone, a lot of people I know who hang out are dorm neighbors or housemates. I’m stuck with dorm mates who are quite nerdy and don’t like to hang out frequently. So yeah been kinda a tough situation for me it’s weird, like I said I never would have thought my life would be like this. Always had friends no matter where I turned
@@milliesaysokboomer awe I feel yah. I try to figure out where I stopped making friends but it only stresses me out to think about that. I just know that it doesn't come to me naturally anymore and I lost that ability somewhere. So with that in mind, I've been trying my best to be inquisitive with ppl bcuz ppl like talking about themselves. The political divide ruined a lot of friendships too unfortunately.
What fabulous advice, from someone who clearly knows how to relate with others in a healthy way 😊
High EQ 👍
What I've discovered as someone who went from having no friends to a person with some very good friends, I think the most important thing is to spend time and stay consistent with your friends. Friendships are about giving, not getting. It is often that I would rather be alone in the moment , but I hang out with my friends anyway because I know that it's important to stay in touch.
You can only give so much. MOST people aren’t willing to invest into building a meaningful relationship with you in return. That’s the problem. Bunch-a-flakey people who talk a great game “yeah, we should hang out…” then NEVER follow through. I’m done with that shit.
@@MsQuantification it's true, it takes persistence to build a close friendship, and often the only reason you do build that friendship is because you spent time around that person for some reason other than building a friendship (work, club, neighbor, ect.) I think most people do want close friends though, and there are those few who are willing to go out of their way to get some. You just have to be willing to keep setting up hangouts and such, forgive when they can't make it , and they will come around eventually.
It needs to be both mutual and natural not forced
but what happens when your friends move and your only interaction with them is via texts and VMs on instagram? Like after awhile you need in person contact
The older you get, the harder it is to find them. I moved 10 years ago and two of my high school friends stayed in another city. Now I feel terribly lonely. I've been alone all these 10 years, I've tried to communicate with people, but I've never been able to get close to anyone
Yes after an age everyone goes along with his busy life schedule, kids, family etc
@@keylanoslokj1806 yes exactly. I feel age has much to do with it, and all the things that come with it normally.
Yea I’m unable to get close to people. I’m just not good at that part
I feel the same. Moved a few years ago to be with my partner. But I always feel so lonely and wasn´t able to make real friendships. Even thought about quitting my job etc and moving back .
@@moryy2893 I am very sad that I am not alone with this problem, but somehow we are still alone.
Its so ^nice^ to see a normal guy struggle with social anxiety and being open about it, much love from scandinavia 👑 So relatble
Always happy to have people to relate to. Thanks for watching. Cheers
Normal guy?
@@ExNihilo634 I think ‘normal’ as in this man fit healthy attractive talks well but still has struggles. Usually you associate such problems with people who are awkward. I can relate so this is good in a way for me to see
I feel like everybody in Europe is so friendly/comfortable with each other - I am surprised to hear when anybody from there has social anxiety
@@ExNihilo634 yes normal
I’m autistic , have depression and anxiety and I hardly ever leave the house - I speak to some people on social media but nobody in real life and it sucks a lot People just say you need to get out and meet new people (they don’t understand that while I want to I can’t because my anxiety is that bad) Thanks for posting these videos I truly appreciate it
Maybe it's not about finding friends, maybe it's about finding true happiness. I guess pretty much everything we do is based on this desire. True happiness you can only find in yourself, best in solitude, and then go ahead and share it with others. I've been really hard on myself for being a loner for a long time...but most people just took my energy and that was it. When I began to understand and feel that I already am complete and able to be happy alone, my best friend came into my life without me having to do anything. Going inward definitely is the right choice! Also quality over quantity, always. Bless you all guys🙏
🎯❗️
Xpurple: Happiness is fleeting. I think what actually humans want is contentment. I'm not talking about a lack of ambition here - it's about being satisfied with who you are, who you are with, your core values, belief systems, health and the like.
I'm glad I found your channel. I'm 38 and single and my romantic relationships have been few and far between. I also don't have any friends either. Seems like a community of us out here. I listen to my coworkers making all these great plans for the weekend and I mostly spend my free time at home. I have learned that I enjoy solitude and a quiet atmosphere. However It would be nice to have at least a couple of close friends. I have an 18 year old daughter and she's a freshman living on college campus this year. So now it's just me. I've always felt socially awkward. And social situations can make me feel overwhelmed and inadequate. It is comforting to know I'm not alone. It seems there are many people in similar situations.
Human love, whether platonic or romantic is never completely unconditional. Only animals are capable of unconditional love and loyalty. I realized this fact when I was as young as 13 years old. Today, at age 40, the ongoing events in the world reiterate my belief. The one rarest of rare deep-hearted connection that I had was at 16 and this person was 19. It was not a fluffy teen affair. But, we both knew that while we would be in each other's hearts forever, it might not be possible to be in each other's lives.
i think it has to do with karma.. we are drawn to people once the karma is resolved they go away. I live in nyc its like revolviing doors with my "friends". In the end i am alone and single living with my obnoxius roomate "friends" and annoying family smdh. wikipedia the concept of "yuan fen".
You're far from alone 🙂❤️
@sarah lilburn yes that's exactly it. I just find small talk incredibly draining 😪
Im just like you. Today was my day off and all i did was spend my free time in the quite atmosphere of my place as i do on all my days off. I've fallen in love with being by myself. Sometimes i wish i had someone to spend the time with but its honestly also liberating to be able to be by myself.
Josh, watching your video was like watching myself! People might feel bad for those who spend a lot of time alone, but maybe we should feel bad for people who can't be alone with themselves. 😉
Amen
Good point. And the same for needing to be in a romantic relationship at all times-
My neighbor exactly, she can’t stand being alone, always needs a friend around. It got to the point where I had to tell her that I couldn’t be at her house every day if we were going to continue being friends. I actually don’t mind being alone. There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely.
Everyone, no matter if you have a lovely partner and lovely friends, needs to have a fairly good amount of time alone for introspection.
Here I am at home… Halloween weekend alone… watching everyone have fun with their friends…as soon as I start to feel lonely this video pops up on my feed!! Instant follow! I don’t have a significant other… thankfully I just got a kitten and she’s everything!! Seems like it’s a community of us out here who feels the same! Thank you for sharing!!
It’s always nice to have people to relate with! Also, your kitten will be great company this weekend. Let’s see the best! Cheers
@@JoshHitti cat are your best friend to have they give us unconditional love
Also-my dad used to tell me-when you are in a friendship, sadly it’s not a 50/50 thing-most of the time, 1 person is giving 100%. You have to reach out, call ppl, try to make friends-bring your wife too! I attended a grief support group after moving up to NWA, and the most helpful part was being in a group of ppl going through the same things.
At least you have a loving wife who can support you any time of the day. I do understand relationships and friendship aren't on the same boat, but having a loving person close to you can mean the world to someone. I don't have either a wife or close close friends because of my social anxiety (even though when being at work no one could tell that since i have to and i do wear a mask of a person who's got everything under control and who feels perfectly fine) and that makes me feel sad. Sometimes i think having a buddy who you can spend time with, discuss every possible topic without feeling shy and simply be your true self is not a lot of what you can ask for, yet, as it turns out, meeting that particular person in real life can take months and is actually challenging as hell :( Thnx for your updates!
The best friend he’ll ever have is sat right by him
I’m 46, married with a 5 year old and don’t have any meaningful friendships. My wife thinks I’m a little odd but I’m totally comfortable being by myself. I don’t keep in touch with any high school or college friends. I’ve taken multiple trips by myself and loved it. Haven’t seen someone like me so this is great!
I'm a similar age. One thing is that your kid will wonder why you don't have friends, and it will also lower your wife's respect somewhat. If I were you , I'd force myself to join some kind of men's group that meets sometimes. It's a huge mistake on my part that my kid and wife never sees me with friends. I'm headed to likely divorce.
@@GUITARTIME2024 a wife who does not respect your choice to enjoy your own company is being disrespectful herself. No one gets to tell another person how to be.
@@honeybunch6473 I agree mostly, but I just think wives find it odd if a guy doesn't have one hangout friend. It looks low status.
@@GUITARTIME2024 status is not determined by the number of friends you have. Some men put their time and efforts into family. I personally after work don't have much time outside of family. Some people have plenty of "friends" but they are very superficial relationships. Depends on what one thinks gives status to a person. For me that is linked to how someone treats me, how trustworthy they are, how dependable they are, how they parent. Many really mean people have "friends" around them. That makes them popular but not necessarily of high status. Be proud and secure in choices that make you happy - nobody has the right to set that kind of bar for you.
@@honeybunch6473 you're missing the point to make a broader assertion I never made. If you dont have simply 1 or 2 male friends (acquaintances even) to grab a beer with sometimes and chat about life, it's low value in women's minds. Without exception. Most fellow dudes don't get this. Your dedication to family is great, but there's a piece missing. Women don't think like us. You don't "build credit" with women; they dont get that concept. What they understand is: does my man have social options if I leave him, both on the male friendship side and on the "new girlfriend" side. It's your barometric pressure, and they are born meteorologists. Your family dedication is morally right but its simply seen by her as benefiting YOU as well. Its like saying "wow, our new house has plumbing". It's expected. The curb appeal and neighborhood is what really SOLD it.
Always remember that you are not the only one. I’m 67 years old and I don’t have any friends. I know people but to say that I have friends I don’t. I’m the only child. Growing up was the hardest but after I grew up it didn’t bother me anymore. I got married but I’m divorce. I have 2 children and 3 grandchildren. Hope you continue to do well.
Thank you so much Josh. It is a relief to hear a man in his 30’s talking openly about mental health. I hear your story, and it has made me want to tackle some deeper issues I’m having in my own life. My situation is not the same as yours, but the way you share your truth gives me the strength to be more vulnerable in my own life. Thanks brother.
Josh, I love you so much for what you do, for your rawness. For not being afraid to be vulnerable on camera for all of us to relate to and feel encouraged and reassured that we are not alone. You pour so much of yourself into helping us feel better. You deserve so much good in your life. God bless you, brother!
Man I haven’t had a friend in a few years and I’m 22. Always nice to see someone that I can relate to and hoping we can get through this brother.
I stumbled through videos - you are a quite an inspiring man. Although i don't share the same struggle, having friends in my life is non-negotiable. My wife and I have an agreement thats once a week, one weekend a season and one week a year, i am spending time with my best friends. they have become my family and being emotionally intimate with them has helped heal a lot of social wounds i struggled with in my younger years. I admire your candor and you have my full support afar.
Yes I am one of those new subscribers of yours! I am grateful to have found your channel. Your feelings are so relatable and you're helping others like us so much. Thank you. 🙏
I love that you’ve continued to make these videos, they resonate with me a lot and it’s nice to see someone being transparent about their thoughts and feelings regarding this topic.
Well this was weird, I found your original video you posted just yesterday, and then saw this today so thought i'd watch... I cant thank you enough for being as open and transparent with the world as you are. In high school I had many friends, but they slowly dissipated as life went on, in college I moved to a different city, and had a hard time making friends, and the ones I did make, weren't friends for long. I am going to be 26 soon and still have very few friends. I often find myself dodging plans we arranged, and lying to them with excuses as to why i can hang. I have learned to enjoy being be myself, and i now know that this is one of the hardest thing someone can do. Just know you are not alone, many people feel the same way you do, know you are perfectly fine were you are. Friends aren't meant to be forced, they're meant to be found.
Thank you for your courage in speaking out about what so many people go through but aren't open about. So validating. I've been an introvert loner type really my whole life, tried to fit into societal boxes and somewhat conform to the toxic patterns of this world. At this point as a 37 year old single mother who is recovering from a lifetime of narcissistic psychological trauma from familial and signifcant other relationships, I am finally free of the oppression. The last couple of years I have gotten to know myself and have realized our world is a toxic place. Many people love drama and fake superficialities of this world. Then there are those of us who actually question things and do the deep dives and we tend to feel alone. Many of us were made to feel selfish and crazy for trying to have natural needs met. The reality is this world is broken, people are selfish, and too many care about what somebody can do for them rather than how they can contribute to the world. I could go on and on but really I just want to thank you again for your boldness and being vulnerable. The world needs more people like you. God bless you
I’m so glad I found your channel recently. I can relate to you so much and to be honest with you it’s a slight comfort to hear you speak (even though it’s hard for you) it’s a sign to me that this is more common than I think and I’m not alone. I’m like you, inside I’m more anxious than I like to admit. Congratulations to your wife Emily on the marathon. Im from Ireland and love Scotland- would love to hear what you thought of the country. Thank you for the videos
Great to see another video from you! Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel less pressure and more comfort around this topic
Hi Josh, new subscriber and I've been watching a lot of your vids the last few days and I fully relate to your experiences and am in a similar situation though I'm 47 and I can honestly say I'm now 100% happy not having friends and just having my partner for the last 15 years who only has one true friend themselves. At 34 I was probably more anxious about having no close friends, other than a few work colleagues who I got on well with. From watching your last couple of videos, I get the impression you becoming content and accepting of who you are and you should now just embrace solitude, enjoy life and just do what makes you the most comfortable, if that means doing things by yourself or with your partner, then go for it. Take care buddy
Call me cynical/negative, I'm 82 years old. My personal experience in life is the least people you have in your life the least " grief/ problems " one comes across. I've come across hundreds of people in my life, probably really liked perhaps appx ten of them. Anyway, Peace to all.
@@deejones3031 Thanks for your reply.
Sir, in early life a person craves deep connections. Beyond 50 people's perspective change😅 But, I do feel friendships are vital to nourish an old age being after his retirement.
.....fewer. 😉
I just want to say I empathize a lot with what you're saying. I'm also fairly introverted and really love having time to myself; but like you said in the video, even with that comfort as you accumulate life experiences it'd be nice to share them. I think for me, having a small but trustworthy circle helps really with balance and perspective. I'm gonna subscribe because I feel like I am learning something from your journey.
Totally understand. I’m 35 and have been married since I was 23 and my husband has been my only friend. I have some work type friends, but I find my alone time valuable and put most of my energy in my marriage. We had our daughter 5 years ago and I became a stay at home and that really solidified that I don’t really need friends. I find my alone time so precious and necessary to me no matter how much I love my little family. I also have had social anxiety most of my life. People are drawn to me for whatever reason, but I find friendships exhausting as far as texting all the time and meeting up often. I see my work friends only on the holidays when we get the kids together.
I have the opposite problem. 3-4 close nerdy friends. I'm 27 and want to start dating but I feel like there are a lot of roadblocks. I've been getting in shape. "Working on myself" etc but I feel like my lack of experience will be off putting to most people. Not to mention I'm very shy around new people due to social anxiety.
My brother is in the same boat has about 4 close friends from middle school that he still hangs around (he’s now 24). I think he had a girlfriend once in high school briefly. He’s a very smart, kind and loving guy with lack of experience as well. I still see him as a good catch and know anyone would be lucky to end up with him. I don’t think inexperience is a bad thing it can also mean you haven’t been tainted by sometimes cruel world. Just hoping for the both of you that you find someone that doesn’t take advantage of that and celebrates the newness of life with you.
Same, I’m 40 and we have one daughter who is 15 now. I spend all of my free time with hubby and daughter. Lately, I’ve been having feelings about my daughter growing up and she is of course spending more time with friends than me. I’ve been thinking about the friend thing more lately, but I don’t get down on myself like I used to about it.
same here just opposite gender. Im the husband loner and I love it to have my free time when our small daughter sleeps. I think if you have a family and you really want to bond with your kids, you don't really have much time for friends. Me and my wife now socialize a bit with other parents because why not. Without a kid, I was a lot lonely and I really wanted to have some good friends. I more or less just fulfilled this with dating women because approaching a girl to go on a date, is 50 times easier than a dude asking to come over to watch a football match lol. Sounds kind of gay/creepy.
@@Bayoubebe I think 40 is a good age to start new with friends. I see a lot of people in your age with a similiar situations wanting to socialize. Most 40 year old men dont realy have that much friends.
I'm 32, introvert, have anxiety, am single and have no friends. Had friends in grade school, but that started to change in middle school through adulthood. Always felt like an outsider and hard to trust people to open up. I also work remote so don't know any of my coworkers. Now I feel comfortable alone, but would be nice to have some friends 😢
Same.🙂
I’m 32 as well, introverted, single and I do have some anxiety as well. I have like 3 friends that I consider really close friends. But I have my down days where it gets kind of lonely. I guess this is part of getting older.
Its not easy being a sensitive person in this world. We over think everything! And can be so critical to who we are, act, how other people see us. I am not doing that any longer, i just dont Care!!! I just care about being kind to others. Nothing else 👍🥰
So true! Sometimes it’s more positive to focus on kindness than anything else. Cheers
Ya I agree with but there's some that don't feel so we can give ourselves credit for that.
What a good way to put it…not caring except being kind
@@claudiacanales2662And when you stop focus about ALL the negative stuff both inside of you and around you, it gives you more positive energy both for yourself and this world! It so much more fun to live a life when you feel better inside. I wish i understood this long ago, it would have saved me from so much pain. And i could have done more good stuff..... But its never to late 😃💛
It’s crazy this video popped up on my KZhead feed. I feel the exact same way but I often feel guilty that I enjoy being alone so much! My husband is my best friend and I have a 9 year old son who keeps my company. I don’t have any friends in real life either but I like it that way. But yes every now and then I feel it would be nice to have a friend to talk to. Great video!! I’m so glad I’m not alone.
And I’d just like to add, hearing the feelings a lot of us feel out loud just reminds so many of us that we are in the same boat. Just remember there is NOTHING wrong with you man. I have nothing but admiration for you
Really felt this one, out of all your videos this one resonates the most. Thanks for sharing. Would love to hear more updates I believe you’re helping people and possibly yourself more than you know. Thanks. Have a good weekend 👍🏼
Hey - thank you for the kind words and I’m really happy to hear you related to this one most. Cheers
I am 31 years old; aside from having no close friends, I have no close family. I have my partner and my dogs. I have always been a solitary individual since I’ve had a loss in my family very early in my adolescence. I tend to feel down about it, sometimes..during some weekends or during festive dates. I am constantly trying, failing and improving at friendship, which is ok. Every once in a while I see a video post you make on my feed, I watch & I’m uplifted. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing Josh! You're doing good, you're doing great.
Thanks for making this video. Those same thoughts bother me frequently and I find my day-to-day life much more difficult than it appears for others. Thanks for trying to talk through it, I think your videos will help me moving forward.
Came across your first video a while back and watched out of curiosity mostly, then next thing I knew I was relating to a lot of what you said. I know you stress a lot that you enjoy spending time to yourself. I feel the same, however, I feel like the more we do that, little by little, it gets us used to that feeling and at the same rate may contribute to more anxiety rather than alleviate it. One thing I thought of at the beginning of the video today was your comment about remote work. I have been working remotely full-time for the past 2-1/2 years. While it absolutely has its advantages, I have found it has had a negative impact on my life also. I’m not an overly social person. I enjoy my friends, but I’d say I’m more of an extroverted-introvert. If I were to be sociable I always felt like I needed at least an equal amount of time to myself to ‘recharge’. Being home all day every day takes me to a place of sadness and, honestly, darkness at times. I try to at least leave home in the evenings just to get out. I go for walks, go spend time in nature, both of which I also like to do alone. I do feel it recharges me and is definitely good for the soul. I suppose my point is we get comfortable in a place and don’t even realize it. It’s certainly more peaceful to be alone, but getting used to it can take us to places mentally, even physically, that are unhealthy. I do have a few close friends, but I’m also a single parent so it makes it difficult to even be able to make plans to spend time with any of them. Thank you for sharing your experiences like you do. I think a lot of what you have to say is much more relatable than you think. You mentioned I believe at one point how it is a red flag if you meet a man (in my case) who has no friends. Hearing what you have had to say gave me a completely different perspective. Yes, it can absolutely be a red flag, but it could also be someone in a similar situation as you. Also, I don’t have childhood friends as you had mentioned previously. I do envy people at times who do. We moved around a lot when I was young because my dad was in the military so it was difficult to maintain those friendships, and most certainly back in the day when you either had to use a phone or mail a letter! I think the meet and greet would be a great idea at some point! Who knows, maybe that’s why you were inspired to do the first video. I believe things happen for reasons in our lives and we are divinely guided by our intuition. A meet and greet, maybe something more like a social mixer, could help a lot of people in similar situations with similar feelings actually feel somewhat comfortable meeting people just.like.them! They’d all certainly be able to relate to one another in that way from the get-go. Positive thoughts being sent to you. I think you’ve started something here. 😉 ✨
Thank you for sharing this with us the viewer’s it take courage Brotha I can relate to this definitely not having a lot of friends either 💪🏾😎
Love these vids! As a student finishing college, the (real) world is stress inducing. I've been thinking alot about what my life will be like after and I worry about making friends/connections with people. I think my generation (20s) has been so consumed by the smart phone styles of meeting people that social interactions are more uncomfortable for many of us (even before covid). So the idea of walking up to someone in public and introducing yourself seems too weird when it really shouldn't. We do that when we're little kids and western culture does something different with this as we get older. I appreciate seeing others post vids like yours! 👍
I love you, man, so much! You could stare at the camera without saying or doing anything and I'd still find it meaningful and insightful. I am very, very similar to how you describe yourself. Keep being a beautiful soul and a light for us all!
Hi Josh, i recently found you a few days ago. And so glad I did-I came from your first vid and since have watched most of your videos. We’re the same age, I recently turned 34 and am happily married, but I have found myself in a friendless rut, and maybe KZhead somehow knew(?). I totally get having my cup filled with my husband and love my me time, but recently I’ve been feeling most that you talk about. I’m an engineer so most my cohort are men, and most are younger or much older than myself (not many in their 30s) which makes it harder to connect with coworkers. While I do have some social anxiety- I don’t have the anxiety that you have expressed - but do love being alone or with my husband, I’ve been needing platonic connection. I have two close friends in California which is where I’m from (I’ve been living in Hawaii for over 6yrs), and the kind I can pick up like no time has passed, but it’s difficult to maintain active communication or go out for drinks or a hike, etc. I can talk and carry a conversation and have really good social skills, and in all honesty, the way I look generally helps which I’m sure is the same for you. I think my problem is that I generally find people annoying or fake, and it’s hard to find people who are more like minded, and even harder to keep a connection with any that I do find. I have been feeling terribly lonely. I started a leadership book club with a coworker, while I wouldn’t call them FRIENDS, they help fill me up (on our meet ups) due to the deep & thoughtful conversations we have. Anyway, I’m just ranting, I appreciate your videos, they definitely help. More in common: my condolences to your wife, I too lost a brother (when I was 21) and while still very hard it gets better with time as they say. I understand that the way her brother died adds layers of complexity to how she is experiencing his death, but I hope she continues to search for peace. Thank you.
Thank you for those videos. I'm 28 and I can't say that I was ever strong in social settings either. I found myself in a new city with a few acquaintances and bunch of failed chances to become friends. I guess it stems from the fact that I'm somewhat comfortable having distance between myself and people, which in return can cause why I don't have any friends. I had a pretty significant chance to have a friendship with a nice girl, who lived nearby and wanted me to either visit them often or them visiting me. And I just couldn't, it seemed like a huge commitment, after a few attempts she just stopped trying and I never followed through either. But I do recognise I need a community. I'm striving for more peaceful life on my own, having some events here and there, where I can get my social batteries drained, but I don't seem to need much more than that.
Good to see you brother! Appreciate your openness to share, especially with how relatable your feelings and experiences are. I feel at this point for me the stigma is worse than the lack of friendship. It’s far more satisfying and fulfilling for me to spend time with my girlfriend than anyone else anyway. I struggle to find a similar connection with anyone else otherwise, which makes it feel more draining than it’s worth. Hope to hear from you more frequently in the future, always happy to connect as a digital friend!
Nice to hear this and read the comments. I’m 43, and my best friend is my dog. My parents are both gone unfortunately. I have 2 siblings who I love and am emotionally close with, but we don’t live near one another. I am very much a lone-wolf, and the older I get the more comfortable with that I become. I just lost someone I thought was a true friend of 5 years and I’m still surprised at my age that people can surprise you and turn out not to be who you thought, when I consider myself a good judge of character. I’m happy being an island!
Hi Josh I want to say that I enjoy watching your videos and learn about what it is like having struggles and how you are trying your best. I myself have autism with a learning disability. It’s a challenge on having it because I get bullied by other people about having it. Also my friends and peers of them and people that know me put me down about how having a disability is bad and how it’s my fault that I can’t make them happy. Also during the pandemic Sally, my best friend passed away from complications of Covid-19. She was a big part of my life on accepting of me when I struggle with a disability and was kind to me. In the new normal era I struggle without my best friend and dealing with the harshness of the world and people getting mean. I spend time volunteering to help feed homeless people including people who are low income get help to continue my compassion, write letters to celebrities including influential people who inspire me, and practice being mindful of other people. Also I pray for things to get better and for the world to be kind. I want to let you know that I’m sending you positive vibes and for you to try to find happiness when life gets hard. People deserve a chance in life to find happiness. Keep on inspiring and continue to work hard to improve yourself
Hi Josh! I'm experiencing just like you except I'm single and nearly 24 with no friends. I have older siblings who compensate for my lack of friends so that helps me not seek friends that often. Until there comes a point where I see a group of friends in college or work is where I start to wonder where I went wrong. Even I'm anxious to start dating but I had platonic friendships with girls before in the past. Like you, I flip flop a lot where I'm completely fine being alone, then I feel depressed not having anybody to talk to only myself through journaling and I'm on my third journaling book. I've been journaling since elementary but wasn't active until middle school. I think some anxiety can stem around how you're raised by your parents. My parents fought every day which I think it may play a part in why I'm very selective with friends like there's a piece missing. I also suspect that I have attachment issues because of the lack of parental emotional support growing up which I think is part of the reason why it's not easy for me to make and sustain friendships. Overall, I'm doing well so far and I don't mind seeking friends. Take care ❤️
I did subscribe recently from watching the first video. And on seeing how "late" I discovered your vid, I was a little bummed thinking I missed the "moment". So I'm thrilled to see this. Thank you for your words, effort and time. Very much appreciated. Can definitely relate.
Josh, you literally describe how I feel right now. For a moment I thought you were describing my current situation. It felt like you knew me so well.
I’m glad I was recommended this video, I’m almost 30 and haven’t been able to keep any of the friendships I’ve made as an adult, I chalk them up to experiences and acquaintances. I am blessed to be very close with my family, have an amazing relationship with my wife and enjoyable dynamics at work. I do not however have any close friends, sometimes that gets to me, I wonder why and I always tell myself it’s because “life happens, we are all busy” but yeah I sometimes wish it was different. I don’t know, its good and sad at the same time to hear that a lot of other people are experiencing the same time because I feel less alone but also sad for the world, because maybe it’s a problem with the world today?
Your video came in. I'm 49, watching this from Singapore. I realised I never have a friend my whole life. So, I cleaned up friend department before Apr, discharged myself to be someone in a "friend" as life. Life is simple since, I'm living my life now. No more opinions, suggestions, comments, ideas,..... I'm enjoying my pace, peace and quietness. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙏
I really appreciate all the videos you made about this topic. Even though I knew deep down that it was normal to not have many friends, I was still curious to look this up in the search bar because as you’ve said in one of your other videos, knowing that there are other people out there who have similar experiences can help people not feel insane for living their lives without friends. I haven’t let my lack of friends bring me down that much, but sometimes it can feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t have friends. So coming across this video and seeing this supportive community with all the kind comments brought me a lot of joy. So thank you
Hey, thank you for these video's. It's nice to know there are people out there in a similar situation. I'm in my late 20's and have struggled to build friendships too
I'm so glad to have found this channel because I never thought that I'd find anyone similar to how I feel and operate. I've always felt like an outcast. Thanks Josh for sharing with us your experiences and fostering an open and like-minded community!
Hey Jason, so happy to hear that you can relate! Also, I saw your comment on therapy/meds. I’m an advocate for doing things that don’t require medication as a first step. If you get therapy and still have some lingering concerns, I would consult with a doctor and check things like T levels, etc. Some people require medication and that’s totally okay as well
You are not an outcast. Satan wants you to feel that way. You are a child of God.
@@nataliewilkinson8347 bulshit, it is brain stuff not satan, ect..
Your not alone Jason. I’ve been a lone wolf all of my life.
@@anitamead5268 like all alone? But do you never miss company?
You videos have pushed me to put my story out there, I feel that there is to much 'gloss' on life and sometimes not enough truth, struggles are real, and we fight so many things a long the way.. I just wish more people would be more supportive of the world.. but I guess its easy to judge people for not being what society says they should be.
Just discovered this channel. It's incredibly moving to see you express yourself so openly about this issue. I'm 40 years old, married, no kids, and while I feel like I have friends who I love dearly, it often still feels like a struggle to feel connected -- at least to a degree that feels healthy and life affirming. Anxiety plays a role. Expectations play another. There's more I can say, but I just wanted to share, for now, how happy I am that you have this channel. It's truly inspirational.
It’s heartwarming how you can know that you’ve helped thousands relate, and feel less alone. Even though it’s not the connection you asked for, it’s more purpose than many of us have. I hope that doesn’t feel like some lame consolation prize, and you take some pride in that. I have friends, yet I second guess everything and feel lonely often. I hope you find contentment, whatever it takes to get that.
Don't second guess, trust yourself. Even if you fail at something, you're learning about yourself. Be your own best friend. You seem really thoughtful. I think you have everything you need already inside of you, so just be confident. If something isn't right, you can begin again. All the best to you 🙏🙌
Thanks for sharing, as an introvert myself, I can be happy in my own company. But I do think that having or more specifically making friends requires being brave and reaching out to others who might be suffering as well as or even more than ourselves. These days, we tend to just think about ourselves, afterall, we are at the centre of our own worlds, but taking the focus off of us, and thinking about others is so powerful and liberating. Can I humbly suggest trying to love someone else and be their friend over hoping that friends come to you. You seem like you are nervous or have a fear about trust and rejection (maybe that's what happened in the past) but I would encourage you to face the fears and be the friend. The rest will sort itself out. Plus, I'm up for being your friend. Dave (46)
I’m absolutely floored that I came across your videos because I am not someone who seeks out self-help type videos, or even normally watch Vlogs. I typically tend to watch videos that are educational or news and comedy. It’s overwhelming and the reason I say overwhelming, because I was just so surprised that a am not alone in my feelings of loneliness and being at the age that I am, which is about 20 years older than you, i thought something was seriously wrong with me. I’ve taken autism tests, joined a codependency anonymous support group and cried endless tears wondering how all these people in the world have these groups of friends to hang out with at movies or restaurants. It’s strange, but every friend that I have made in the last decade, has been in other cities, other states, and more often than not, in other countries. Currently my two closest friends are in Nashville, Tennessee, and in Manchester England. It’s frustrating, but what can you do. And up until three months ago was living with my b/f, but he decided to move out to figure things out for himself… so now I am friendless and spending a lot of time, well actually all my time alone since I work from home and don’t even have the distraction of coworkers. So, I want to thank you so very much for making these videos. It’s been so helpful and I appreciate you, so so much. I don’t feel like a freak as much. I too am searching for answers and am grateful for the time you put in sharing. I joined a virtual writers group this morning. It’s a group of people who like to write. I almost bailed because of my anxiety and dread of not knowing who they were and what to expect. But they were all lovely and kind. I’ll be going back. I’m hoping that baby steps first of video meet ups might open doors to in person activity. Stay tuned. Oh, and I’ve started making KZhead videos too. One of my videos had been viewed over 200k times. The other 175k times! I’m amazed. I love shooting video so it’s my new safe place too. Sending you all my best wishes from Burbank, California! You are not alone. 👍
Hi Josh, thnxs again for being our online group buddy/leader. What a massive increase in viewers ... Wow. That would by anxiety giving enough by itself This morning at work we had a social meeting. I hardly talk about the home situation and stuff. Not an anxiety more like it being a hassle and people not really 'worth'. Knowing the real me. Most of them feel really superficial to me so I don't share the me stuff. Sort of keeping up appearances like the person you talked about Live hangout would be nice, but time difference will probably result in a later viewing of it in the EU. Keep up the helpfull (rambling) videos.
Don't give up hope, your friend will come! I have finally found a friend after years of being lonely and depressed; having nobody around me to enjoy life with. Because of the intense difficulty with me connecting with others, I had actually accepted that I would never succeed in finding friends in this life because of how bad my social anxiety had been. Sometimes I even questioned my existence and my ability to ever enjoy life. I was ready to just give up hope and focus on what I already have until eventually my life long prayer was answered unexpectedly! I have now met this friend and we are such best friends. We talk everyday, we share our deepest struggles and most importantly we are committed to one another like brothers which is insane. It's a dream I didn't expect would come to reality but I know it is also possible for you if this happened to me. Keep going , there is someone out there you haven't met yet. Don't give up!
Hi Josh, we (your subs) thank you and Emily for opening up to us. I personally just enjoy listening to you navigate through any trials you encounter. It is inspiring. Please keep it up...maybe a 'meet and greet' one day??? Just kidding.
Thank you, man! Haha you never know. I know a YT channel did something similar that I follow and it turned out great.
Just read your about section. We started our channels in psych ward (well one vid 3 yrs previous) & other 2 in year after so that we could witness ourselves, as there's many of us in this 1 body, & we have a deaf blind & dumb internal processing model. This means we could learn about us our ways & language etc. & find a way to coconsciousness. While offering a live real time reality raw organic documentary for others to witness our process as we learnt a lot about us & how to grow & do self awareness through asking people their process previously. Surprising knida how many don't know their process or even what we were asking. We also have no friends or family communications & been house bound mostly for 6 years so youre not alone in your ways. Know ours is different but similar. Sending virtual love & support to you on your self awareness growing journeying. Xxx
I came across your channel yesterday and saw your most recent video and was wondering how everything is going for you now, and funny enough you posted today! I relate to you in a lot of ways. I’m 25 and single with basically only 1 friend that I see maybe once every 3 months (if that). It’s been like this my entire life so far and even though I’ve had a lot of “friends” in the past I’ve never been able to maintain any long lasting relationships. At this point in my life I’ve gotten so use to it. I work as a physical therapist so I get social interactions going on in that regard, but nobody really around my age range. It does get very lonely sometimes. I look forward to seeing future updates from you! You seem like a really awesome guy! 😊
Happy to hear from you! Today I went to the stadium to watch a football game. I went alone with no friend and sometime I'm okay to stay alone, but other times I'd like to hang out with people more. I'm in a point of my life where I'm discovering who I truly am.
Hello there from Ireland 🇮🇪. You seem like a really intuitive and courageous person. There are so many people that feel like way, especially with the drifting that you talked about, but there are very few people that has the courage to talk about it. Sometimes I 'need' to be alone to recharge myself. I feel its important to enjoy your own company and to realise that you are 'enough'. Don't be hard on yourself. When you are talking to yourself, be kind to yourself. I found meditation helps me in my life. Also, KZhead channels like Einzelgänger, I really love. They have very practical advice about life. I read somewhere thst 22percent of men don't have any real friends. It could be more. If there is anything I learned in life is to take each day as it comes and not to look too far ahead. It creates anxiety. All we have is today. Best wishes always. Be kind to yourself.
The 22% stat is wild, but I definitely believe it. I’ll check the YT reco out as well. Thanks for the thoughtful comment
i’m 22 and have no friends. i’ve actually been less lonely since i decided to accept not putting energy into making or keeping friends a little over a year and a half ago. it was so painful and lonely before to constantly feel like i was never doing well or enough socially & never mattered enough to others. it went on for years. it was hard up until recently at an age where everyone is celebrating 21sts and i see people i used to know on social media being so social and enjoying their youth with others. i found out recently that i’m autistic which was a relief because my challenges were out of my control & now i can accept that. i am very grateful for my little dog, i couldn’t of got through such dark times without her. she’s always been on my side. i say i have have no friends but i do have a best friend, my dog lily
good to see you back and glad to hear you're doing well
So happy i came across your channel !I swing back and forth as well.Most of the time i am comfortable on my own,i travel alone etc.But sometimes i think i am a freak 😪 because i am on my own.However,i know who i am,and i will not change in order to impress or gain friendships!.We are who we are,and to quote a line from my favourite movie..."I am alone,not lonely ".Thank you for being so open and honest ,it is heart warming to see 🙏
The "no friends" in this title really caught my attention. I can relate! I have no friends because I have social anxiety and it prevents me from socializing. I stay absorbed in my work all the time which helps. I'm a very creative person which gives me an outlet. Kind of like therapy. I have never tried to initiate friendships due to the social anxiety. I don't mind making idle chatter with people but can not go beyond the acquaintance status. If there was some kind of magic pill to make this go away...I'd take it in a heartbeat. I do have my family close by so I really don't feel lonely....but I would do anything to feel comfortable and relaxed around other people. I'd love to know what that feels like.
Its kinda messed up to say but hearing that someone is struggling in a lot of the same ways as me is very helpful mentally. Makes me feel less crazy and like less of a loser. Thanks for making these.
Definitely not a loser for struggling, you’re a human. It takes a lot of strength to admit that
Thanks for sharing this, I’ve been basically alone for a year now and I’m currently 26. I find peace in it and it’s tough to just makes friends especially with how social media is supporting this idea of being superficial as a person in general, is a good thing. I don’t think it is, but again thank you for sharing and it’s good to know I’m not alone in this lol
My social life consists of my sister and her family, my dad and a couple of close friends. The thing I could relate to in this video was you talking about the the desire to extend my social circle whilst also being comfortable with being alone. Thank you again for your openness and honesty, we need to open up this conversation and get rid of the taboos of men talking about their emotions
I did not have friends for years, aside from my boyfriend at the time and long-distance childhood best friend. I had crippling social anxiety that came from a core belief that I was bad/wrong, that I made others feel uncomfortable, unworthy of love. I still struggle with shame, and I have to do inner work daily, however in the past year I have made significant progress in the area of self worth, and as a result I have been making more friends! For the first time I feel excited to connect with others and let them in. I've learned that for those of us with relational trauma, emotional vulnerability is a skill that we hone, and it's not easy. You've got to be ready to do it, and that cannot be forced. Allow yourself to be exactly where you're at, and trust that when you are ready to make friends, it'll happen 💗
I'm happy to hear you have found inner work to be useful. Shame is a huge hindrance for me & I think the more people talk about it or recognize its force, the better we can cope with it
I think you’re normal . I don’t have friends and have social anxiety and am most comfortable when Alone. Im married and my husband and my dogs are my best friends and I find myself not wanting to answer phone calls or going shopping and my husband understands because we both do not have friends. We are totally comfortable without friends. I’ve always had social anxiety and felt like I was different and didn’t fit in . As a child I would get over stimulated when we had company and would cry and go isolate myself because that would be comforting and I’m still the same and have accepted the fact that not wanting to conform to what society finds as normal is not a bad thing. Thanks for the video
I think a lot of people can relate to your story's. And it is so good that you open up and share it with the world. One of my children has the same issue's she is only 17 years old one of my twin girls. On one side she wants to have friends on the other side she is fine being alone. Like you said going back and forth. As her mother i feel for her. Het twin sister has many friends.. My son of 13 is the same, but he is a gamer and when he is not at school he is on his computer. He said he have many online *friends* Nowadays with soc media people stay more inside their *Bubble* It is so good for you that you share your stories, you help people and motivate them. Thank you!❤
It is so hard to truly find good-quality people. I am the same age and I only have a couple of true friends who I have known since school, but they have their own lives so I rarely see them. Being a single mother too makes things a lot harder. I also catch myself seeing groups of friends and getting a sad feeling, like am I boring? Am I not worthy of having friends etc? Thank you for posting this and being transparent!
I agree, I have accepted that I have very minimal close friends and try and work on my inner health, mentally and physically. Plus, I have a beautiful partner and dog, life is short, so it is valuing this so much. Thanks again for sharing this very common topic that no-one really talks about. Loving the comments and makes me feel normal.
Gratitude is the key to everything in life I have found. When you have a grateful heart no matter your circumstances, life looks different, rather sunny... with a chance of joy. I've had to work on it. I've been alone many years, single mother of 3 , on disability for a back condition. I live on peanuts and believe me, it's tough. But it makes me love even more the good stuff.... like a hawk soaring in a blue sky, or a bill paid in full, a good deal at a thrift store. Small things get big attention in my world 😅
I've been in a similar situation all my life so I know how hard it is. It can be a vicious circle sometimes of wanting friends but also being too anxious to meet or talk to anyone.
Josh, I really really love this type of video man. In this age of social media I feel like we only see highlights of peoples lives and how popular everyone is with posts of friends etc, but like pretty much everyone seems to have their moments of loneliness. It's an odd thing. In Australia we have this phrase "D&Ms" which mean deep and meaningful conversations we typically have with our close friends, and this video makes me feel like I'm having a D&M with a big brother. It's awesome and should be normalised more. P.S. loved the Scotland pics on ur insta story
Hi Josh ! First congratulations that your wife did so good for the Marathon!! I love the fact that your video is so natural and authentic. I love your way of talking about this subject. I do have friends but I totally feel what you're feeling. I feel so good with lu husband that sometimes I don't feel I need friends but i think to myself it's important to make this effort to keep friendships and make new friends. It makes your life more beautiful even when you think you're a lone wolf (that's not what you said but for people who say that). There's nothing wrong with you, I think it has more to do with forcing a vit yourself to make deep friendships until it becomes natural ! Thank you for sharing ! Bisous from France !
33 in Dec and same boat. Drifted away from friends after school, made some rash choices in college, drifted away from others after I left - alone since. In an effort to look 'normal' over the past year i've severely damaged my appearance (long story) so i've become even more of a recluse. Depression is horrible but these candid videos help.
Oh brother believe me when I tell you that Solitude has been a blessing in disguise for me. I got to learn about myself and my inner conflicts that I believe many people seeking friends are struggling with. I’m from Chicago and moved to Japan and S. Korea for over 6 years. Met people from every country you can imagine and I can honestly say that 80% of people are not worth meeting. For the past 2 years I’ve been a complete anti social and now I find myself always wanting to be alone. I enjoy my alone time because I can talk kind words to myself, I can be creative, I make myself laugh and I can focus on my business. All I recommend is go Inward and ask yourself what are you looking for? Sometime your just looking for yourself!
Yes. I can't get enough alone time. I make myself laugh. It's a beautiful thing, to find that you really do enjoy your own company. And I know I can trust me, I'm safe with me.
Hey, subscribed to you probably around a year ago. During the pandemic, I really re-assessed my friendships and 'pruned' out quite a bit of already a small handful of platonic friends, down to like 1. These days I'm even more anxious about social situations, and I think I'm gaslighting myself into thinking that's always been the case, but I don't know, I feel like a very different person too. Also dealt with family estrangement too, so I'm pretty isolated if it weren't for already being roommates in a place during pandemic, though I keep interaction to a minimum because expectations don't match baseline respect. Honestly, it's strangely freeing, but at the same time, I just can't relate to anyone locally. Thanks for being honest and open in your vids; they've been reassuring, aligned sentiments, etc.
I love your videos. Very inspiring. I also have social anxiety. I admire how open you are, man. I wish you all the best 🙏🏼 🥰 🥰
I recommend you keep making efforts toward making friends. As someone who was once in a place with no friends and a partner who dumped me, the pain of loneliness and no support really made me susceptible to chronic depression and anxiety. It's difficult especially as an adult with social anxiety but people need community.
Really thankful for insights like this. I agree, community is important
@@JoshHitti Just curious, do you and your wife go to dinner or do anything socially with other couples?
@@karenschrantz2307 yes, we usually hang out with my wife’s two friends and their husbands at least once a month. However, none of the guys hang out separately
MAN the more I listen to from you the more I wish you were my friend 😂 you’re kind, compassionate, thoughtful, sensitive, and have many other great qualities. Plus, these are qualities you can’t just learn by reading a book, you know? They’re tough to cultivate yet come to you naturally Stay safe Josh! Thanks for another video. PS a meditation technique called SKY Breath helped me a lot with my anxiety. Maybe check it out. PPS Would definitely be interested in helping to organize a picnic or meetup for all the “Hittites” 😂
I love the advice on the meditation technique, I will most definitely try it out! Cheers
Thank you for normalizing a very human and frequent experience. I truly feel like I can relate to your story and it is reassuring.
Thanks for your words. I think it will help many people out there. So many out there need mental knowledge those days. Stay blessed 🙏🏼❤
Just came across your 1st video about being 32 and not having friends. In that video, you mentioned feeling like the friends you did have would hang out with you out of pity. I just wanted to comment and say that I too felt like that for most of my adult life, and I’ve never come across another person who said this until I watched you. I’m 49 now, and don’t have those feelings, but also my friend list is pretty much just 1 or 2 .
Because I don't have any friends myself, you often get bored. So I started searching on youtube and came across you. It it does me good to hear your story because I recognize a lot in it. We must have courage and live life.
And if people want to talk, let me know in the comment. Everyone reading the comments is in the same situation right?
That's crazy! so there are people out there like that. It's complicated. I always try to understand how I am at one point shy then another point talking in front of people, but it's because I have to. Before an activity or presentation, etc. I try to get out of it but know I have to do it in the end and find myself talking or even listening to get through the conversation. This was a really good subject Josh, there is so much to say about it. Take care.
JOSH!! what’s up man nice hearing from you again. I’ve found that I had to REALLY get out of my comfort zone and go backpacking and running with a friend I met. You really have to keep in touch and it’s hard sometimes but as painful as small talking can be, once you get past the awkward stage the friendship really grows. Instead of talking to people in groups I choose to hang out with a running buddy one on one. Having a girlfriend is amazing but I do find that it’s not the same when trying to get her to do masculine activities with me 😂 I’m sure you will find true friend soon.