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Cleaning a mechanical (ball) mouse in 2023:
• Cleaning a mechanical ...
#gaming #memes #sega
00:00 Intro
03:42 Half-Life
06:45 Kiss Psycho Circus
12:52 Maken X
19:30 Out Trigger
24:03 Quake 3 Arena
28:46 Rainbow Six & Rogue Spear
33:48 Soldier of Fortune
37:31 Spec Ops 2 Omega Squad
41:31 Unreal Tournament
45:10 Outro & Amazing Patrons
That Dreamcast intro screen will never, ever get old.
The Dreamcast, Gamecube, and PS1 had the best intros.
That is a canonic fact.
I feel like that's a thing no console gets right anymore, the intro screen. Gamecube, Dreamcast, PS1, PS2 were all awesome.
It does. I see it literally 10-50 times a day. I own a business that sells DC games. I test every game live. I see it EVERY SINGLE DAY. It is at the point where I just want to skip it.
Its already old, dog lol
I was one of the 12 people that had the Dreamcast broadband adapter and the mouse and keyboard. Playing Quake 3 against people on dial up and on a controller with one stick... good times. The Dreamcast really was so ahead of its time.
Might as well brag about boxing some 12 year olds
It was all about the Dreamcast M&K, Unreal Tourney and Q3A on DC with the right setup was a blast online
Oh hai. I'm one of the other dozen that had both _and_ ran it through a VGA adapter on a monitor for clean 640x480 signal. It's wild that Sega really had what was essentially an off the shelf PCMCIA card off to the side for peripherals, USB on the front, and entirely off-the-shelf components from Hitachi, PowerVR, and Yamaha inside. It was definitely an extremely bright sign of what consoles were going to become: entirely off-the-shelf hardware with no bespoke parts to speak of. It's really too bad that Sega of America couldn't hit their ass with both hands, a map, and a massive pot of money just waiting for them.
You can still play Quake 3 online on the Dreamcast today. It's also cross-platform with the PC version (PC must be on patch 1.16n with DC map pack installed). The PAL version of Q3A sadly lacked support for the broadband adapter but the NTSC version did.
I was one of the 40 people who had kb&m but no broadband. We speak fondly of playing quake against plebs with a single, tiny, stick. We remember you low ping bastards too, but we don’t talk about it.
24:05 A buddy and I were touring id about a month before Quake 3 DC was released. We were walking through and noticed Quake 3 on a TV with a Dreamcast under it. Neither of us knew it was in the works, so we grabbed Marty Stratton (he was giving us the tour since he was kinda the guy that managed Quakecon and we were there as volunteers) and said "DUDE! Is that Quake 3 running on a _Dreamcast?!"_ He got a big grin and said "Oh yeah! You guys wanna see it?" Super fun way to find out about it. Fun fact: the PC version of Quake 3 could crossplay with the Dreamcast online. You had to patch back to version 1.16n and download a map pack that contained all the Dreamcast specific maps and you were golden. We actually ran a server for it at one of the CPL events. id's engine tech was just crazy flexible and could be made to perform on anything. I'm fully convinced John Carmack is a hyper advanced AI that aliens left on our planet just to give us amazing video game engines.
You were super lucky. Getting excited over ports of games to the Dreamcast back when the console was still in its prime has to be a fun time. I didn't get to experience thr Dreamast until 2003 and I really feel like I missed out.
he then later went on to build rockets
@@rgerberwe need him back to build games.
@@HiGlowie He’s trying to go home.
I remember reading a fan port of quake for Nintendo DS could also cross play with PC, nuts.
Man, that Dreamcast intro is so calming. Almost like it has a zen type of feel.
I definitely agree. If only the console itself didn't sound like a jet plane taking off.
@@toshineon Does it really? 🤣 I never owned a Dreamcast, so I wouldn't know, but I am using a PS2 and it surprisingly doesn't make much noise when I play a game.
@@Asaylum117 Yeah, the fan noise is pretty loud, but the worst part is the disc drive. The laser moving around while reading has gotta be the loudest I've ever heard from a disc drive.
@@toshineon Honestly, I love the insanely loud whirring of the disc drive. It's charming to me for some reason. But I wanted to share, there's a noctua fan you can buy that works insanely well. Also of course an SD card mod that removed the disc drive altogether. If you're into mods definitely check those out
@@winlover37 SD card mod definitely sounds interesting, I have something like that for my GameCube, and it's super convenient.
Dreamcast was a gem. The fact that one could use the memory card as a tamagotchi and even play games on it, shows that the console was too far ahead of the curve.
There were so many great things about the Dreamcast. But even as a former SEGA booster, when I saw those controllers I knew that it was 90s SEGA all over again. After poor support for the Sega CD, I didn't buy the saturn either.
@@MaxAbramson3 No it was fine.
@@dukeljk2191 No, it was nutters. Typical 90s SEGA. Thr Saturn's 3D controller was perfect.
ahead of the curve? the Dreamcast was a terrific piece of kit, but the VMU concept never really went anywhere beyond that console generation. I think they were just innovating in every element they could, and some innovations were prophetic and others weren't.
@@acomingextinction I thought that the VMU could've gone places. Again, criminally underused. Typical 90s SEGA.
Man, never expected you to cover something like Maken X. That is a game where Kazuma Kaneko really went wild with the art. So sad that he doesn't get the recognizition he rigjtfully deserves.
13:38 Why does the attendant sound like she's inhaling her own words 😂
I lived in Japan when this went obsolete and I grabbed every game in their catalogue at cents on the dollar (well yen). A year later I gave it to my young cousins. 25 years later they still talk about how fun that console was.
Holy hell, I couldn’t imagine my uncle just giving me a console with every damn game made for it as a birthday gift, that would be a wish from heaven for any kid lol
Learning there is a Dreamcast FPS with brain jacking and a villain named Geist really takes the only wind out of the GameCube game Geist's unique feature lol.
I disagree. Geist still has a lot of cool stuff to it. Being able to possess any thing from a mouse to a kitchen fan is awesome. Not to mention the puzzles that go along with that. The story itself is excellent as well. Really the main negative in that game are the FPS controls. Which is obviously a big negative to have, but the story and puzzles make up for it IMO
@@superstimulatedminotaur3681 I really liked Geist too! I just find it quite the coincidence is all
@@nazgulsenpai Fair enough. Geist and Maken X are both pretty underrated games with unique ideas
@@superstimulatedminotaur3681 For sure. This is the first I've heard of Maken X somehow so I'm anxious to find out more about it.
I know it's weird, but I miss the "Shwacked!" running joke. Something about it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I'm right there with ya!
Warm and fuzzy inside...you know, like your mum! *Shwacked*
Shwacked! Has gotten a few genuine chuckles out of me over the years but out of all recurring Gman bits, for me none of them come close to the day he started putting in soundbites from Tourettes Guy Take 11:16 for example. No one on this Earth can emote cuss words with the sheer conviction of Tourettes Guy.
Same.
I felt shwacked everytime.
Unreal Tournament gets a nice framerate boost if you plug in a keyboard, open up the command command line and type in a command which disables decals. This will disable decals left from bullet holes and fragged players, and it'll make the game perform better.
Cool tip!
240mhz overclock helps too
37:27 reverb farts
Do this for every video he makes, please.
There's also an Omikron: The Nomad Soul. Its not exactly a FPS, but it has FPS elements. Its a 3D open-world adventure fighting FPS game made by Quantic Dream
I wouldn't be surprised if Gman intends one day to make an entire video on that game and its ports.
Man that gave was a trip. Loved it
I would not wish that abomination on anyone.
I love kaneko's artstyle in Maken X. I have a collection of most of the games he's worked on, and have the PS2 version of the game called Maken Shao
Seriously, he does not get the recognizition he rigthfully deserves. So sad that he has pretty much disappeared from the industry.
It’s a very groovy art style
It's kind of weird to see almost like an early version of the style they would use for Nocturne and the other PS2 RPGs they did.
The PS2 version is funny because it was back in the day when ports to different platforms could be wildly different. The PS2 version has a third person camera!
9/9/99, the greatest release date a console ever had and ever will, also that VMU, man was that a fun system.
The Dreamcast start-up screen gives me goosebumps every time.
I swear, ALL 6th gen startup (DC, PS2, GCN, XBOX) were goated. While 5th gen only the PS1 was goated.
@@Web720 goated? how about Greatest Of All Time-ed ...shaking head
@@Web720n64 was amazing. Unless you were a bussyboy who didn’t like fps’
@@rgerber 🤓
@@HiGlowie The topic here is about start-up screens for the console. N64 never had one besides the N64DD.
GMan, if youre gonna tease our tips by playing Dreamcast games. Then you'll need to play Illbleed
I hated Illbleed when it came out. After 20 years people on Reddit told me to give it another shot...and now its one of my favorite games on the console its just so unhinged. One level you are a ghetto version of Woddy from Toy Story and you go to hell to save a sex doll from a demonic Sonic the Hedgehog 😅
This
The Kiss shooter has a special place in my memories, mainly because it made me a member of the Kiss army and introduced me to the wonders of rock and roll music
can't forget Detroit Rock City, love that fucking movie and the soundtrack filled with classics "heey chongo!" [Godzilla starts playing as the camera moves towards the Hulk of a brother]
I think if Sega hadn't burned its bridge with AMD which in turn cost its connections with EA and some other high profile 3rd parties, and they had included a DVD player in the DC, theyd have lasted that entire console generation. Might have even prompted them to make a DC2.
QUAKE III: I beat Xero on the highest difficulty mode by hiding behind a pillar and railgunning him to death. He couldn’t see me and had no path tracking to me. There’s no other way to win that match!
Steam Deck has been an amazing way to re-experience Dreamcast games, especially shooters. Why? Because once you have EmuDeck set up, you can easily remap shooter controls to be much more intuitive. So for example, because the DC lacked 2 analog sticks, typically the face buttons would be for movement while the analog stick would be for aiming, which was awkward. But on Deck, you can instead map the left stick to the face buttons for movement and the right stick for aiming. But here's where things get wild and what sets the Steam Deck above the other handhelds... You can then do gyro aiming in Dreamcast games! So that when the right stick or right trackpad is merely being touched (as in the gyro is only activated when they're touched and isn't active all the time), the gyro can act as the Dreamcast's left stick, so you now have full on gyro aiming acting as the left stick in Dreamcast shooters. Or you can map the right trackpad to emulate the Dreamcast's left stick, and have trackpad + gyro aiming, which feels even more accurate. And speaking of the trackpad - Silent Scope on Dreamcast feels insanely good to play using the Steam Deck's trackpad, way more intuitive and faster than using an analog stick, so the trackpads are fantastic for on rails shooters, which the DC had a lot of. If you're an old school Dreamcast fan, get yourself a Steam Deck. Once you have EmuDeck set up, no other device on the market does a better job at placing your Dreamcast games directly on the main UI in such an elegant fashion. And then there's the added layer of being able to easily customise the controls or the frame rate - on a per game basis.
I do this but can only get the d pad mapped to the face buttons not the analog stick, how do you do this?
Maken X is such a great game. I love the lore, the character design, the gameplay--for me, that's almost exactly how I play Oblivion. It's all just so unique. That first playthrough was such a trip because of how interesting the worldbuilding and the aesthetics and design were. The soundtrack is utterly phenomenal. Shoji Meguro did such a great job with the soundtrack and it's such a shame people don't acknowledge it as much as they should. It also has just an incredible amount of replayability given the 6 endings the game has. That game makes me wish they did a proper remaster of Maken X just because theres so much character lore and worldbuilding lore to be expanded upon. It has so much potential for a good modern remake. I have Maken X on my top 10 Dreamcast games of all time and I stand by it. Its still just so good.
I agree completely, it feels so unique and "Dreamcasty" as hell to me.
the only reason i know about it, is that back in the day q hayashida's first manga was based on this, and it was quite long running too like 10 volumes or something
Let's raise a toast for the Dreamcast. 🍷 It was gone too soon
Left stick to aim, right face buttons to move was standard on N64, it was even the default on a few ps1 games (e.g. alien resurrection). For some reason it swapped over a few years later and everyone forgot that it was ever the other way round
God that DOA2 intro with the bomb factory song “exciter” really is the best intro I’ve ever heard!
0:57 I remember having to send my Hydro Thunder disc to the publisher because it had no music, and they sent me a fixed copy. Ahh... before we got internet updates. I loved that game.
I played Maken X to death back in the day. The differences between the japanese and european versions were pretty big. The special attacks actually only cost health in the european release, so in the jp version you could just spam them to no end. And the guy in India had actually a completely different character model in the jp version as well. He had six arms, a completely different face. Good times, good times.
Yeah, I played the US and JP versions and was surprised that JP seemed to be easier.
I read the Manga Adaptation
Still better then Ghost wire Tokyo
@@chillhour6155 What's wrong with that game?
Can’t wait until Gman reviews the FPS libraries of the Atari Jaguar, 3DO, GameCube, SNES, Sega Mega Drive/Genesis, Sega Saturn, Gameboy & Gameboy Advance, DS, Xbox, and Amiga.
I remember playing Kiss pycho circus on pc like 20+ years ago
Thanks Gman to remind us old folks what it used to have vs what we have now. Kids these days will never know the struggle we had to deal with using those hardware. It was painful yet fascinating simultaneously.
that dreamcast startup theme is (❁´◡`❁)
As weird as DC controllers were, they were indestructible. The one analogue stick was a hall-effect, first and only such in consoles for 25 years now.. Only in the last years have 3rd party premium controllers rediscovered the tech. Microsoft made a big deal of bringing back hall effect triggers for Xbox One controllers years ago (Dreamcast pioneered those too). But Microsoft has stuck with those nasty potentiometer analogue sticks, they and Sony seem to have a 99 year contract with Alps for those awful things.
For a millisecond, you had me wondering if purposely avoiding the Kiss game every time I saw it on store shelves was a mistake. Luckily, I'm glad I didn't miss out on that disaster. I think something they could have done to circumnavigate the lack of a second thumb stick, they could have gone the Metroid Prime route, where you press and hold a button to lock in on an enemy, which allows you to move and strafe while staying on target. A dedicated 180 button on the D-Pad would help, too. N64 could have used a similar system just fine, too. Honesty, button combinations are a pretty smart way to take advantage of limited buttons.
I owned Quake 3 for PC, but I found out after purchase that my PC couldn't run it. So I was quite happy with the Dreamcast port and noting that they played very similar to eachother.
3DO has several interesting options for exclusive FPS games, especially with PO'ed getting a remaster soon. I still want a Saturn FPS video though, gotta see you trudge through Congo.
One of the most underrated consoles ever.
I remember getting my Dreamcast as a christmas present, along with the game Shenmue (which I had been quite fascinated by reading about it in game magazines). I still have the Dreamcast and Shenmue to this day.
There is something incredibly beautiful about the way the Dreamcast renders. I don't know what it is, but nearly every game on the console somehow looks good in a way I can't describe.
Soulcalibur for the Dreamcast was so amazing dude hell yeah
A toast to one of gaming's very last home console of the 20th century. 🥂 To many of us, Sega's departure really hit home for the loyal fanbase of all these games. But i wonder, if rail shooters should've also been included on this list since its also in first person perspective but that's another debate for another time I guess. RIP Sega (1983-2000). 🕯💐
I needed to hear that intro, it soothes my soul.
It's a shame western developers never really came to terms with the Dreamcast hardware. It had so many great hardware optimization features that made it extremely competitive or even ahead of PC hardware at the time (1998-2000). Like how the tile-based deferred rendering helped with geometry culling and improved rasterized performance, or how 4-bit paletted texture could be compressed to a ratio of 32:1 instead of 4:1. Theoretically allowing the Dreamcast to offer 60MB worth of texture memory, as long as you designed them with 16 colors in mind (I mean you don't need much more for "single-material textures" like grass, dirt, wood, stone, steel etc. and you can always use other texture formats where it makes sense). For engines and graphics assets built ground up for the hardware it was just way ahead of its time. unfortunately, many western developers just made straight conversions of PC games using PC optimized engines, resulting in pretty crude results on the DC... Quake III is really the only game showcasing a decent effort of hardware optimization.
Dear Gman, a few games that are right up you alley: - Bullet Witch - Infernal - 3rd Birthday
The soundtrack to Quake 3 slaps so hard. Fun fact though, Front Line Assembly did some of the tracks as did Sonic Mayhem.
Maken X is so good! You have to make a video on it. I would also recommend PetRock's video, as he explains all the Chinese I-Ching and how it ties into all the characters and their motivations. This game is a gem. Peak Atlus.
Dude, another awesome video. Have to say brother you've put me onto quite lot of awesome games I've otherwise overlooked or just missed out on entirely. What a legend.
The Dreamcast is my favourite console of all time. It didn't have a long Life span but it had so many classic games
All those Roadhouse mentions and not a single clip of Peter Griffen saying "Rrrroadhouse!"
Nice video as always ! Pretty sure Maken X was an inspiration for Metroid Prime... 18:20 Nice typo from Atlus (anymore*, not any more)
My bowling alley had Carn-Evil and i used to just dump quarters into it every Sunday. Love that game to death and was always surprised as Midways most successful light gun game they didnt do more with it.
3:42 - I always loved how the Bull Squid's death sounds like The Undertaker's manager, Pall Bearer.
I had Quake on PC back in the day. I used to put the disc in my cd player and rock out to the Soundtrack.
Virtuacop was a game me and my brother always played on the Dreamcast. I never knew it was based off an Arcade game until we didn't have the console anymore
I know I’d be a lot of work but I’d love to see you review every Original Xbox FPS game!
Its genuinely funny you bringing up the 357 sound effect, because there were more sounds from Spec Ops and Rainbow Six specifically that made shining features in Madness Combat and Thing Thing years if not decades later
Before we had a PC up to snuff for gaming, we had quake 3 arena and the modem. I was too young to really comprehend how ahead of it's time the Dreamcast was when I was playing death matches with my friends who lived 25 mins away by bike
Wasn't expecting to see a peek of Hydro Thunder in a Gman video, but I'll gladly take it.
I owned Quake 3 Arena for the Sega Dreamcast, and the Dreamcast release of Soul Calibur was the best version of that game on ANY platform. I'd seen Unreal Tournament and Half Life for the Dreamcast but only played them on PC through gog (UT) and Steam (HL).
I really wanted to play the full version of KiSS: psycho circus, I only got the demo but boy was it fun and intriguing.
8:00 bro, I remember seeing carnEvil at the movie theater once and it stuck with me for life.
Ah, Outrigger, Maken X, Rainbow Six, and Soldier of Fortune, my childhoods... Yes, do a retrospective on Maken X, please!
I loved playing quake 3, Soldier of Fortune, and Psycho Circus on the Dreamcast as a kid. Such great memories… that DC intro is forever engraved into my mind!
Shwacked! Has gotten a few genuine chuckles out of me over the years but out of all recurring Gman bits, for me none of them come close to the day he started putting in soundbites from Tourettes Guy Take 11:16 for example. No one on this Earth can emote cuss words with the sheer conviction of Tourettes Guy.
I loved Maken X. I need to see about tracking down a copy.
It's a bit pricy these days. I managed to get it when it was a lot cheaper
A fun thing to keep in mind for Maken X in the future is that it also has a PS2 version, Maken Shao, which puts the game in third person and reworks a lot of elements even if it's still the same core game beneath it all.
It is nice to see some love for Maken X, I hope it gets a full video but also a look at the ps2 Remake Maken Shao: Demon Sword it became 3rd person (Still with tank controls) but some content too.
That outro video vibe man.
Made dinner and a new Gman video pops up. Perfect timing
"Lady, you're scaring us" 😆
Damn, I had repressed the mouseball cleaning. Thanks for reminding me.
The loading times on Soldier of Fortune where hilarious, I could even take a bath or cook while the game was loading.
Thanks for keeping the dream live. I logged probably hundreds of hours of online Quake III on Dreamcast. Such an incredible port.
I hate that things went the way they did. The dreamcast was far ahead of its time in many ways. It didn't deserve its fate.
For over a decade, I played first person shooters in Windows using a wireless PS/2 ball mouse. Yes, it needed to be cleaned occasionally, but it was never a big problem. It was also quite accurate and I never had any problems aiming at even small targets in the distance with precision. Unfortunately, that's not something I can say about any laser mouse I've ever used. Maybe it's because they're too sensitive, but I find it almost completely impossible to aim at small targets with any degree of accuracy. If I get the horizontal aim just right, the vertical aim will be off. So I move the mouse up slightly and it jitters to the side a couple pixels. So I nudge it back the other way and now it's a couple pixels too low. Move it up a tiny amount and it jumps a few pixels to the other side! ARGH!!! Here's a test I like to do: When you move the pointer over text, it changes to a vertical line with little cross pieces at the top and bottom. Pick a symmetrical letter like A, H, X, etc, and try to center the pointer on that letter perfectly, both horizontally and vertically, and then take your hand off the mouse so that it stays there. How long does it take and how much trouble is it to get it to stay centered? For me, it's an exercise in frustration. Or load up a good drawing program (MS Paint doesn't qualify), load a B/W drawing and try to follow some of the lines in the image with the mouse while drawing in some color. How closely were you able to follow the lines? My ball mouse used to be pretty accurate, but with laser mice, it goes all over, no matter how slowly I go. Note: No cheating by lowering the DPI on the mouse, or adjusting the mouse speed in windows. Perform these tests with the mouse set the way you normally use it.
This reminds me of the definitive version of Spider-Man 2000 => The Dreamcast Port
9:48 I remember one day my dad came home with brand new boxes copies of KISS Psycho Circus, Heavy Metal F.A.K.K 2, 4x4 evo, Blair Witch vol. 1, and Rune. He got them from a promo that was being run at the radio station he worked at. I wonder if that's any connection to what you were talking about?
Lovely. Quake 3 Arena was my first taste of online shooters. Great stuff.
Man I love the Dreamcast. The sound alone of the startup screen makes me smile and brings me back to simpler times.
Tourettes Guy, GOT'EEEEMM guy, couple of mom jokes and the reverb fart....that's all that's really necessary...instant like!
I love the Sega Dreamcast! It’s a shame they didn’t put a second thumb stick on the controller though.
Have always loved my Dreamcast! Keep up the good content!
Some of my go to shooters on the Dreamcast back then were sof 2 and slave zero, while not the best ports still fun games. Also Ding Chavez is forever a legend : )
Guys, I need help. There was another melee based first person game on DC. It looked Japanese. It was more fist based though I think, you could also kick and I think you could use guns from enemies... (edit: It could've been on the OG Xbox I guess) (edit 2: Breakdown for the OG Xbox is the game I was looking for!)
Breakdown?
@@ClarkKentai Dude, thank you so much! That's the game I was looking for!
@@Topplethepyramid no problem, it's been a personal favorite of mine for some time now
Back in my day a BJ was an HJ (Head Job) and BJ stood for Bum Jack. And no we didn’t wear onions on our belts smart Alec. But we did wear potatoes in our hair.
27:40 The memories this unlocked, my god
I remember getting a used Dreamcast as my next console after the N64. I was blown away by how good the games looked.
Tbh I didn't even know that the Dreamcast had fps games I loved mine as a kid, until it stopped working one day for whatever reason, I still play Jet Set Radio, and Sega GT 2002 started my love of racing sims/games
Unreal Tournament on PS2 is still one of my favorite games of all time! I also really like the Unreal Championship games on Original Xbox.
It has never quite sat right with me that some regions have the Dreamcast swirl logo in orange. In the UK and Europe (don't know where else), the swirl was blue, which much better matched the water-dropping sound of the intro. Strange that they chose different versions, it would be like some versions of the Gamecube intro being green, or something!
Sega fucked up majorly before the release of dreamcast. All this CD, 32x and saturn business left them to position that many major retailers didn't want to see their asses again.
Maaaaan I was so excited thinking you’d review Gundam Side Story 0079. I loved that games demo disc.
Furthermore I believe Side Story takes place in Australia!!! GMan is missing out!!!
Also need to get the weird Gundam fps on the console, I picked it up a couple months ago and was honestly kinda surprised
There's actually a version of Maken X called "Maken Shao" on PS2.
I had SO many good memories of Quake 3, Unreal and Solider of Fortune (and having to get my older sister to buy it, even though i had a full time job because i didn't have any ID yet) good GOOD times!
The only Dreamcast FPS games I had back in the day were KISS Psycho Circus and Unreal Tournament. So many hours spent playing that Unreal Tournament on our first dial up internet connection. It worked better than you would think too.
Seeing the Maken X sword did memory unlock on me. I swear i played it before and completely forgot it existed.
13:58 the quality of the audioin the game is insane i thought someone was trying to whisper in my ear during the vid
I had a mouse and keyboard for the Dreamcast for Quake and HL. Can't wait for the Saturn amd Genesis video.
"FPS games are unpopular in Japan" Overwatch 2: "Am I a joke to you?"
those are some lovely comedic inserts
I managed to solve the mouse issue by using a DC-toPS/2 adapter plugged into a PS/2-to-USB adapter and then plugging an optical mouse into that. Yes, it actually does work, even if it does look ridiculous sticking out of the console.