We Thought Hannah Was Pregnant | Our Infertility Story
Our entire infertility journey from start to finish (sort of).
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Shane Burcaw (he/him) is the author of several award-winning books about disability. He is the President of a nonprofit organization called Laughing At My Nightmare, and a renowned public speaker who has performed across the country at places such as Harvard University, The University of Florida, The University of Connecticut, Princeton University, and many more.
Hannah Burcaw (she/her) graduated from Carleton College, where she studied Sociology and Anthropology. She films and edits the “Squirmy and Grubs” vlog, which has over 1,000,000 subscribers on KZhead. Hannah has spoken at prestigious universities and Fortune 500 companies alike about the realities of ableism. On her popular Instagram account, she advocates for acceptance of all people and works to improve the way society thinks about disability.
Shane and Hannah have been together for over seven years. They got married in September of 2020 in the midst of a global pandemic in their backyard, with their officiant conducting the ceremony via Zoom. Their interabled relationship often confuses people, because much of society still cannot fathom people with disabilities being involved in loving, intimate relationships. Anyone who watches these episodes will quickly see their relationship is just as “normal” as any other. Sure, Hannah helps Shane use the bathroom and brush his teeth, but those activities do not detract from the emotional, intellectual, and physical connection they experience together.
Can people stop commenting "dont worry, you will be pregnant soon" its insensitive
i swear its like some people didnt actually watch the video
@@piarateking8094right
It’s very rude to and it’s very unkind. It’s extremely insensitive and not only that it’s hurtful .
Agree 👍🏼
It is toxic positivity and it's usually trash
Whether you have children or not, will have no bearing on the impact you’ve both had while on this planet. You’re awesome. Thanks
Absolutely! They're amazing!
Y’all, they aren’t looking for advice or suggestions. They are two well educated adults that know how to research and have open discussions. With everything that they’ve shared, which they’re not required to do any of, they know their options and are looking into all of them. Thank y’all for sharing your journey, it’s great getting to know a small piece of you.
The first sentence of your comment makes me totally love you ❤❤❤ you don’t know how rare it is for a man to get that.
Ok?? Maybe people should ignore them then…
Pretty sure their sharing for the money
@@saltandpepperandmint They share their story and their lives to help educate people, that doesn’t mean they are asking for feedback. Do you walk up to random strangers and give them advice?
@@ruthbryan-pz7qt They share to help educate people.
As someone who rode this roller coaster for 12 years.. it takes a toll emotionally and financially. We adopted after 9 years TTC. We got spontaneously pregnant 1 year later but she was born too early to survive (20 weeks) and died shortly after birth. We got pregnant with our rainbow baby a few months before an IVF cycle after 12 years of trying. There are lots of options to explore to be parents if you keep an open mind. Stay strong! We had both male factor and female factor
Sorry for your loss ❤ Glad you Adopted and had Rainbow Baby
I think it depends on weight and what you eat and feelings as being happy all time or angry.
@@shawnmcgregor6878 - You have no idea. Stay out of it.
@@shawnmcgregor6878It’s way more complicated than weight and your mood!
@@shawnmcgregor6878no offense, but it is waaaayyy more complicated than that.
I’m sure some comments resonate with you and others don’t. I hope this one does. Yes, I’ve birthed 2 children and there is something mind blowing about birthing a child. I hope you are able to Hannah with all my heart. But please also know that being amazing parents has little to do with producing sperm to fertilize eggs. Once you are responsible for a baby (regardless of how they landed in your arms), the biology part is irrelevant! I hope this gives you some comfort and confidence!!
Beautifully said!!
@@heidia6270 Awe, thank you so much!!
❤❤❤yes
@@mommabierman ❤️
I birthed 2 and adopted one. The adoption process from Albertan Family Services was a long journey with many ups and downs, but adding our daughter to our family was so worth it. Yes, having biological ties to a child is very special, but 8 years into being adoptive parents and 17 years into being bio parents - I truly feel equally connected to all my children. There are so many infants, toddlers, and older children who would benefit from parents as loving and strong as Shane and Hannah.
4.5 year journey for my husband and I and it was very difficult. We are currently 31 weeks pregnant naturally after 3 failed medicated IUIs. It’s still unbelievable and I pray for all couples wanting to build a family. All of you deserve it and are worthy.
they will never be pregnant naturally letsbe realistic
@ree214 don't think she was implying that for them. Just sharing her story of her journey with them . ❤
Congrats mama! You got this ❤. Had my triple rainbow baby girl few months ago
My daughter, surrogate through IVF, gave birth to twins a few days ago, for her sister-in-law who has been trying for 16.5 yrs!! My daughter is a twin. Selfless act she gave ❤
Your daughter is so sweet to do that I know how great she is for your daughter and them babies will be taken good care of!
Those babies become his daughter's babies. It's not his sister-in-law's baby.
"Remarkably fun." I love your sense of humor Shane. I pray that you both are blessed with a child soon.
hannah already has a baby, his name is shane. why get another one. just stick with the one you have hannah👍🏼
@@Jabroni2U Do something useful with the time you have on this earth.
@@poechristhemfitz pretty common sense to marry a complete invalid!! obscene
why dont you pray she has a son with a healthy man?
@@sebastianconstantin5176 there would be a lot of volunteers
I think we are all sorry the treatments didn't work out. It's good you two talk openly about it all for those that really need to hear it, to know they are far from alone. Sooner or later you will decide on a new plan for you to have a family & you will be most excellent parents. You are well on your way to TWO MILLION subs, that's a lot of aunties & uncles!
Aww sweet comment ❤
Don't speak for us all
Why he can't in anyway help raise a child besides talking . He's in sense a child and has to be cared for more then even a baby does
@@xnj9206 maybe you shouldn't say negative things. The "supporters" will be all over you, and try to bash you left and right. Lol. Trust me, they keep doing it to me, just because I stated that I don't buy into this ridiculous attempt to appear to be a loving couple! 😁
@@TheoryAugi agree with you! 🎉 there is something about the way hannah looks at shane that makes me uncomfortable! She almost looks like she is crazy obsessed super fan with mental issues.
Your humor and adult emotional health says so much. Keep on being friends and in love. ❤😊
she feels relief she didnt give her kid the worst genes in the world...
Adding to the chorus of support for you guys. My husband and I have been walking this path and it is HARD. Thank you for holding a light up to stories like ours. Wishing you a lovely "break" from all of this and best of luck on whatever next steps do or do not come :)
I’m in awe of your honesty and ability to respect/support each other. Thank you for this post
I love how you talk about it, that's so matter of fact, no judgement whatsoever, no guilt placing. Love you as a couple and wish you all the best!
Bless you both for sharing your very personal and vulnerable journey. It will only strengthen your relationship moving forward, however this new phase of your lives unfolds. I'm sending you so much love xx
You two are true inspirations. Funny, brilliant, and compassionate. ❤
You know you’ll get through it together!! Much Love ❤❤
Sending hugs, thank you for being so vulnerable about this💗
Thank you both for your candor in discussing this topic. I know you committed several years ago to sharing your personal lives with what has become literally an audience of millions, but it's still noteworthy that you're willing to discuss a sensitive topic like this - not in the abstract, but based on your actual experiences. There's so much junk out there on social media, so it's refreshing to see a mature, adult conversation about a difficult journey.
That you both managed to get through something so difficult as a team, comes as no surprise. You've been modeling a healthy, loving relationship online for a good while. I'm so sorry you didn't get the outcome you'd hoped for. Thanks for sharing & for being vulnerable. I know it will help many people
Thank you, Shane and Hannah, for such a loving and honest telling of your story.
It takes great courage for you both to be so open about your journey for a baby. Only those who have walked this road can fully understand. You are truely an amazing couple and you give such joy to others,
I’m hoping you and Cole and Charisma can bond on this subject. I know they share in your journey themselves. I wish the best for both of you! My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine the frustration not to mention the emotional strain. Never give up! ❤️❤️
Such a difficult journey. Sending all positive thoughts your way. The way you told your story with love and compassion for one another is a tribute to your love for one another. I wish you all the best.
Hansa and Shane.. ty so much for sharing this heartbraking experience. YOU BOTH ROCK. Sending much love from Rio de Janeiro.. 💚💛🇧🇷 You don't owe us an explanation... it's your personal live. I respect it so much. LOVE Y'ALL 💚💛⚘️
I’m so glad your stress over this hasn’t hampered your love for one another ❤️
I love the way you two explain situations, I love your sense of humors and your ability to accept things. I'm not going to say I understand because I have no clue I will say I'm going to keep y'all in my prayers🙏❤️. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Been on this journey 5 years now. Sometimes you do need a break to regroup so you don't lose yourself/each other. Always remember the love started with you two, no babies just you two! More time to love on each other in this waiting period. I hope you have babies however the universe brings them to you ❤
Send you two lots of caring, supportive, kind thoughts!
Thank you for sharing your story. I am donor conceived and a huge fan of IVF/IUI/etc. From what I know about our parasocial relationship, you two will be great parents no matter the circumstances❤ Edit: and for what it’s worth, I’m closer to my birth mother (the donor was an anonymous woman who donated her eggs for people like my mother for IVF, and I do not consider the donor to be my mother) than my father (who used his own sperm for IVF).
I’m so sorry the treatments weren’t successful this time. Thank you for being so candid and sharing your story with us all. Sending you both all the love 💕
Holding space for you guys❤ this road is a rocky one but one thing I found was a joyful part of it, was how much closer it brought me to my husband. I hope this is ringing true for you both also. Sending you oceans of love
Thank you for sharing your story, wishing your family all the best ❤
I love the way you can discuss such hard areas in your lives with others. Your love for each other is amazing. My husband and I have been married for 61 years and I don’t think we could be as open as you two are.
Congratulations ❤
I have been on your journey - in the 80's. It is a horrible roller coaster ride. Bless you both and I am sending good vibes your way as I have been all along! Found you during the pandemic. I have 2 wonderful children in their 30's but lost one to an amniocentesis (it broke my water, and all leaked out). I will be cheering you on and crying with you!!
Whatever you ultimately decided to do or not do next, I wish you all the happiness and peace in the world ❤
My partner and I had a similar experience where we believed I was pregnant. It was devastating and our journey has been rough. Thank you so much for sharing with people who may have needed to hear this
My husband and I tried for 5 years and did 5 IUI cycles and finally got our baby. It is a lot of work and financially, emotionally, and physically draining!!! Wishing you both the best with your journey ❤
You are such an inspiration of strength and love. Sharing your life experiences makes such an impact on others and truly helps them not feel so alone. I hope you realize that your compassion and openness makes this world a better place!! Hugs to you both, I know it is heartbreaking. Praying God reveals His plans for you because I know you have so much love to share!!!
Shane! You never cease to amaze me with your humor! 😂 And Hannah, share in your uncomfortableness with the internal ultrasound! 😖
Lovely video, sending positive vibes
I hate how you put all of us to shame with your amazing sense of humour and resilience. 😂 I definitely need to watch more of you guys. As someone who has gone through multiple IVF journeys I totally get where you are and know that it can break you. Your positivity is the best path through this!
Lovely to see you guys again, and it's lovely of you to sum up your experience so far for others. It takes a strong couple to be so united after these disappointments. Hope you are otherwise well. Also have missed seeing Liz for quite a while, hope she and all your parents are well.
Much love and respect for you both! And much luck to whatever journey you both choose is best for you! ❤❤😊
Im sorry guys. Im glad you both got through it together. ❤
Sending lots of love and prayers. Thank you for sharing your story. It will happen when you least expect it ❤
Positive thoughts for you both on whatever journey you end up on. ❤
I love that you are willing to be open and honest about the journey whilst keeping your humour. I did 5 years of IVF in my 30’s that resulted in no children, it was beyond tough. It took everything I had to keep moving forward. In my 50’s now and still with my husband, we accepted that children were just not part of our journey and it’s okay. We have a great life!❤ I wish you all the best, I hope you make the right decisions for you as a couple and that you continue to be willing to share. The more knowledge is out there the better off we all are. IVF was almost a dirty word when I went through it in the late 90s. Most people have no idea of the immense physical and emotional toll it takes on both of you. As a complete stranger I send you big virtual hugs. ❤
You guys are the champs❤❤❤ Sorry for the disappointments and sending you strength and love💙💙💙💙
Excited for this update! ❤ praying for y’all 🙏🏻
You 2 are the sweetest. I love you so much and have been following your journey for years. Hannah and Shane you have the most beautiful smiles. xx
You are loving people.... to each other... caring towards others.. we need more people like you in this world. I'm glad you are taking time to process all this.. and knowing when you need a break. I hope the very best for you both, whatever that path ends up being.
I appreciate your thoughtfulness ❤
You both are so precious ❤
You both said some amazing and helpful things! But what I got the most out of your story was how much LOVE you have for each other! 🥲 So many couples truly don't have the connection you two have and that in itself is extremely inspiring. It truly is. Thank you for sharing your story! ❤ -Amanda
Shane you kill me with your humor. Hoping for the best outcome.❤
Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable…. I hope and pray it comes for you soon.
I appreciate you both for sharing you story with such honesty. I wish you all the best in your ongoing journey.
This video is SO helpful to me. Thank you for sharing your journey. Blessings to you.
It’s so eye-opening, when I see different perspectives, where a basic human activity is a privilege to some people. For example, I am a woman and I don’t want to be pregnant so I take all precautions and a birth control pill. In this case it’s not Hannah, but it’s still the basic principle of it all. We don’t realize how lucky we have it in this literal case, but just also in random every dayto day life. For example, just having a place to go to the bathroom to someone may be a privilege. Or, having eyesight to another, may be a privilege. I don’t take your life, and what you have for granted! Just food for thought 😊. I wish you the best Shane and Hannah, know this isn’t a drag on you I just thought I had an interesting idea and wanted to share with the World Wide Web. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
That’s a really thoughtful comment. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Spot on
That is very true
Praying for success for you both 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you two for your honesty and courage to share such a personal experience. Your integrity over the years is one of your greatest characteristics. Best wishes!
Such a true love story. God bless you both!❣️
All the best for you🙏We are proud parents of 2 Girls due to ICSI. The treatment was tough but never painful for me. I did have 0 complications during the pregnancies and births🙏I am very thankful.
My Heart goes out to you both, it took me 5 years to conceive so I understand the coaster you were on.. Then one day I told my Husband it's just going to be You & Me in this Life.. 2 months later I found out we were going to have a baby, we even got to the point of filling out adoption papers.. Good Luck, Keep Praying
Thanks for sharing your story, I’m sure putting it on the internet is another step in that reality. I’m glad you touched on how you felt toward each other, about there not being resentment. ❤
Love you guys. Awesome background btw. If you do continue towards parenthood, you know it’ll be great for those sprogs. Imagine having you both as parents… what lucky child/ren ♥️🤟
Please make more podcasts. I love them. I listen to them while I drive.❤
Thank you for your openness ❤
Honestly I missed you guys a lot. Thank you for sharing and sending you love ❤
I love how you find humour in this journey xx
I love how you guys find happiness or at least humor in life's hardships.
I’ve been praying for you over the years. God, please bless this worthy couple with the greatest of gifts… a pregnancy culminating with a beautiful, healthy baby!
You two are a beautiful couple. There to support each other to the fullest. Very inspirational. Wishing only the best for you both. ❤
Ya'll are amazing people. Thank you, for sharing your story because you're not alone. Many people have this issue and they need to hear that people have similar issues. I grew up knowing a couple who wished for children my whole life. When I turned 28 they finally got pregnant! Crazy life. I'm sure something will happen, for ya'll. If not a baby of your DNA then maybe adoption or just how much of a difference ya'll are making in everyone's lives inspires other people to be as good of people as ya'll are. Love ya'll
I must say, your relationship is phenomenal. I love that you guys are able to go through so many challenges and difficulties while maintaining such a strong bond. I pray you’re able to become parents by whatever means you choose to proceed with. God knows there are so many couples in your same situation. Thank you for sharing such an incredibly personal and private message. Love your videos and watching you grow as a couple. May God bless you always
As a dad with three kids that were born through in vitro you have the perfect attitudes. And your drive is awesome. It's stressful for sure.
During these challenging times, may you find solace in the embrace of loved ones and the warmth of cherished memories. Every struggle you face is a testament to your resilience, and every hurdle overcome brings you closer to brighter days ahead. May the support of those who care about you serve as a guiding light through the darkest of days, illuminating a path filled with hope, healing, and renewed strength. Remember, you are stronger than you know, and this too shall pass. Wishing you peace, comfort, and the courage to keep moving forward. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. Such a beautiful couple. Sending ❤ to you both. You are adorable in how positive you are. Love your attitude and energy.
I love how you both take every opportunity to demystify things and to vulnerably (and with humor), share your struggles and stories. I know so many couples probably feel less alone because of this video and can raise their hands and say “me too” 🙋♂️🙋♀️. The thing I loved the most was when Shane said that through the entire process, Hannah never made Shane feel less loved. Shane also told us how strong Hannah was throughout the whole laborious IVF process. I just makes me happy to see a couple that love and respect each other. ❤❤
There is literally nothing I can say that will make this any better. I'm sorry you are going through this. I have seen secondhand how hard this process can be. My sister who tried on and off for 12 years and was told it was not in the cards for her just found out she is expecting and they have found a heartbeat!
Oh my gosh, congratulations to you and your family!! I am so happy for you guys! 🙌🥺😍❤️
I appreciate your positivity! Keep trying, as long as you can ♥
You two are such fab people. So positive regardless of the challenges. Love you guys xx
Lots of love to you both!
Hey both, I am sending you lots of love. Thank you. Stay positive and stay lush. - God will continue to provide a lamp to light up your path ❤ 🕯️ Stay wholesome and enjoy each other forever. 🇬🇧
God bless you both during this challenging journey. Since I saw you guys first one or twee weeks ago, I have laughed a lot, you have just such a great sense of humour. And I learned a lot since you guys are not afraid to share your life with the ups and downs. Greetings from The Netherlands 🇳🇱
You both have such a strong relationship. It’s inspirational!
Don't lose hope. Thinking of you both - you will make fantastic parents when the time comes💌
Hello Hannah and Shane! ❤ from NJ 😊
I'm sorry the journey hasn't been easy for you all. I hope you find a way to grow your beautiful family anyways someday soon ❤❤
Thank u for sharing your journey with us. I could just listen to the both of u all day about anything. Your such a funny and loving couple, it’s refreshing to c. Looking forward to the next vid.😁😉🤗🫣🥴
Wishing you success in your endeavors. You're an awesome, hard working couple and deserve it..
Eggs don’t do as well being frozen or defrosted compared to when they are fertilised. They don’t know why but they just don’t survive the thawing process as well as an embryo. You would have much better chances with a fresh egg retrieval, if Shane can provide a decent sample on the day. It’s such a hard journey for a couple. I wish you the best of luck. It’s so good that you have kept your relationship solid. You two are definitely relationship goals.
You are already a complete family. Sending love.
Thank you both for sharing 🩵 Your vulnerability is educational AF, sincerely…thank you for these videos
I can imagine how you feel. I'm 53 years and unwanted childless to. Me and my husband threatment starts when I was 27 and we stopped when I was 38 years. People think so easy. I've heard: you must try better, you have to lose weight, why don 't you adopt a child? And when I said: I don 't want to adopt people said: oh, you wish for a child is not big enough... People have no idea that this kind of reactions hurts. And know I know: my life is without children more fullfilled than most of my Friends with children. You both are such an inspiration for many.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. If you haven't yet learned about this, but an option some are not aware of is embryo adoption. I.E. you adopt the fertilized eggs from a couple who have gone through IVF and have left-over ebroys which you can adopt and Hannah can carry.
My friend has done this! Funny enough, after they had the adopted embryo, they got naturally pregnant with twins after that! And then one more after 😂
@@brynbailey7132 That's fantastic!
Based on their videos I do think their goal was to have a child that was both of theirs biologically. This method wouldn't provide that. Is it an option that works for certain couples though? Absolutely. Will they change their minds and be open to a method like this? Also possible.
Thank you both for sharing your experiences ❤Praying for some happy news
Love y’all! Hope you film forever. How well you get along & are there for each other. So happy whatever happiness you can find. Best & love to you! 🥰😍
Hannah is a beautiful girl all around and can have pretty much any msn she wants . Caregiver job took a toll on her it’s obvious, she looks tired and I see sadness in her eyes. I get that my comment is not going to sit well on here but it’s the truth . I hope she realizes that both baby and her husbands care falls on her shoulders as more responsibility, and what about possible consequences in a baby’s birth since Shane has this condition? Anyways I wish them both lots of happiness and much strength and patience for Hannah .
Sending love ❤❤❤
My deepest and warmest thoughts for you both during your journey together...