Artificial Phallus Safety in the Shower & Beyond with Trixie and Katya | The Bald and the Beautiful
This episode of Bald is proudly brought to you by the National Bathroom Sex Toy Safety Council, reminding you to always follow the three W's before your wet 'n wild adventures: "Wash, Warm-Up, & WERK." As winter stretches its legs for one last sprint before Spring arrives, we'd like to remind our listeners to follow the most important rules of the Bathroom Dildo Doctrine: 1) Always test the suction of the dildo on your shower wall prior to use, in order to properly gauge the strength of the suction in the face of strong shearing forces. 2) Measure the circumference of the dildo to ensure a smooth entry and exit, thereby guaranteeing a pleasurable experience for all participating parties. 3) To avoid being impaled by the dildo in what can only be described as "the bad type of hurt," make sure the shower floor is covered in a non-slip surface for maximum safety. This public service announcement has been brought to you by the editorial staff of BALD, LLC, as well as the fine folks at the National Bathroom Sex Toy Safety Council.
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About the Podcast:
F*ggy Bald f**ks by day, wildly successful crossdressing bombshells by night. The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamo feature a pair of grizzled gay ghouls exploring the culture boundaries of modern beauty through interviews with gorgeous guests who inhabit various facets of the beauty industry. From models, moguls, influencers, drag queens, adult performers, actors, and more, RuPaul’s Drag Race veterans Trixie and Katya break down the beauty behind it all.
#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
Trixie: “i’m tryna watch more things” Katya: *suggests a show* Trixie: “TV’s just not a priority to me” 💀💀 28:16
When a couple is together long enough, they start dressing alike
"You can't be racist without a good healthy dose of just plain old fashioned stupidity" -Katya, 2023
Sorry, the trailer has been ratio'd to oblivion. The racism argument falls apart with Wakanda Forever and other franchises with black characters that are universally loved that haven't been down voted like this by all the racists out there. Love Katya, but generalizing it all as just racism is too lazy and imprecise. Vis a vis on the other side where actual racists and "libertarians" are downplaying and sanitizing the actual racism directed at The Little Mermaid and the actress as just "some words". It's the same "woke" argument happening with Peter Pan and Wendy right now. That happened with Mulan 2020. etc etc etc.
@@RecoveringChristian i don’t see how that has anything to do with racists being generally unintelligent. intelligence is being self aware and using critical thinking skills, so when someone does the opposite of that they’re probably just dumb.
@@juno3281 this quote is directly from Katya referencing the backlash against Halle being cast as Ariel bc "woke". It's the same argument the actor herself used against ALL (not some) ALL criticism. It's not truthful. Katya knows better, shes self aware, in this same podcasts she references Tar and the "problematic" composers with an eyeroll, etc, yet she bought wholesale into this VERY broad stroke of "cuz racism". The new trailer solidifies this. It's just not good, as good as we had hoped for, not helped by the "wokeness" of it all.
@@RecoveringChristian the comment was referencing her calling racists stupid, not the little mermaid. Also, stop using "woke".
@@gingerdog8203 which racists??? The one's she generalized that are going after the Little Mermaid being black instead of Dutch. Stop gatekeeping woke. Woke woke woke. Thanks for reminding me why me and many others have stopped watching drag race and being a part of this lovely "fandom".
Honestly, I am fine with this podcast being Katya going "You HAVE to watch this!" and then vaguely explaining the premise of a film while Trixie talks about her comic books.
Trixie is to Watchmen as Katya is to Contact
Katya recording an ad with her sick voice is as strategic as it is a gift 🫠
I was so WONDERFULLY caught off guard🤭
Katya is at her wisest and most correct on ALL POINTS today.
Trixie referring to her partner of many years by his full name will never not be funny to me
I think so too haha. To be fair, there are two Davids in their lives so it’s just to distinguish I guess hahaha
Katya hyping up Fleishman is in Trouble and Trixie absorbing it all as if it’s brand new information and they haven’t already had this exact conversation
They have, right? I thought I was going crazy! 😂
I think this episode was actually filmed first!
@@amandadunn1383 I did think that too actually! There were a few things that seemed out of sequence
I just kept sitting here staring at Tricia and thinking “I saw the fishnets. And they were ripped”
Pageant queen!
I can't stop looking at the fishnet !!!
Probably clawed at by rabid sex crazed people!! 👀 **I’m looking in your direction, teenage lesbians** 👀
The fact the two episodes of The Last Of Us that were centered around same-sex relationships were the only two episodes to be review bombed tells you Trixie was absolutely right 😔 there were literally Facebook groups being created by homophobes planning to mass review bomb the episodes as soon as they came out before even watching them
it was the same with the second game, a lot of people hated the female antagonist because she didn’t look like a walking sex fantasy (amongst other reasons)
That's not the reason why people hated Abbie. If you pile all the criticism that The Last of Us 2 received on the attractiveness of a certain character, you're being just as narrow-minded and stupid as all the bigots whose opinions got mixed into the negative reviews.
People saying that those episodes weren’t necessary or didn’t contribute anything to the plot are just emotionally unintelligent and don’t understand that their stories help Joel and Ellie grow as characters.
My only complaint about the series is I needed 100 percent more Nick Offerman, but this is my complaint about anything he does.
@@Aaron-hv4hr I mean I get you but ep 3 went really in depth with the character backstory, I felt it was unnecessary because it didn’t contribute to the actual story. I mean it just didn’t, it could’ve been cut in half and the rest of the ep go back to Joel and Ellie. The ep about Ellie made absolute sense and frankly I wish it would’ve been longer because it offered a lot of interesting info relating directly to the main characters.
Trixie: i'm psychic Ma'am you are using deductive skills
She SAID she’s PSYCHIC
I was wondering you have been tuned into the upcoming Wisconsin Supreme Court election? Its so important and so scary: its a purple state that has been gerrymandered into a red legislature… so many things depend on this race… abortion rights, and democratic voters right to be represented by their portion of the vote! Its already most expensive judicial race in US history… Please, hopefully Trixie has some time to look into it and support Judge Janet and the progressive cause. Its majorly important.
boosting🙌🏻
Boost 🎉
wisco boost
Boost!
Ye old boost
At 45:10, put headphones in - after trixie says “beep beep,” I swear to GOD you can quietly hear a car in the background make a “beep beep” noise and THAT is the psychic behavior we admire from the pod
I HEAR IT TOO Miss Trixie is definitely psychic
ohFuck! I heard it!
19:55 For real I think Katya just casually talking about how chimpanzees and other primates are strong enough to rip people's faces off created Trixie's fear.
It literally has mine 😂 considering I live in Milwaukee I have a very real fear of a monkey tearing off my face.
love the pure confusion on katyas face after trixie said, "guess what he was watching?! Planet of the apes!" because of the 0 correlation her two statements had
"It's about racism" someone make this a meme. Love to you both x
Katya gushing about classical music is the energy I'm all here for
"Whatchu lookin in the garbage can for? Get OUT THE CAN!" My new life motto
Have they ever discussed Everything Everywhere All At Once? Love to hear Katya's and Trix's thoughts on it! x
Agreed!
I need Katya to say "Gripped me by the nalgas" at least 10,000 more times.
time stamp?
@@basket.8case 23:07 and then again 23:14 😄
The way that they have literally spoken about every single one of the tv shows and movies that they mention here in previous episodes is just pure insanity 😂😂😂😂 I can’t with these women
I love my weekly dose of two biological women talking about tv shows I have never seen❤️
Trixie trust me when I tell you: Even if you’ve played TLOU, the show will DEFINITELY STILL SURPRISE YOU 😂
Some episodes felt very truncated despite the narrative that the storyline was "streamlined" for a tv format.
@@RecoveringChristian I mean yeah that’s usually what happens when they take something like a game and make it into a show. I still think they did beyond amazing and it really exceeded my expectations still!
soo trueee i also havent watched a playthrough in a while so i even forgot about some characters and plot points
@@katiegregs I had only played it once and it was a few months after the game first came out. I saw they were making a show, so I started watching playthroughs and realized that 12 year old me picked up so little of the actual game plot lol 😅
@@rjs2035 it did not exceed my expectation, but it did really well. The casting was great, the acting was great, they adapted it well for tv. Just various moments felt shortened/shoe horned in.
Finally they realized that they just can't end the pod eps with "bye!" 😂
as someone who doesn’t listen to podcasts i’ve always been fine with it lol. i’m like ok bye!! but then again i see the time on the episode and know it’s coming
I love that they do that though it never fails to make me laugh
Trixie referencing Eddy Burback (I think) is a crossover of two content creators I enjoy and never thought would happen 😂
"I'm trying to be prepared." I feel you, girl. Ain't nobody coming over but you still want your guest room to be dust-free and inviting.
Honestly I LOVE when they talk about media so much.
29:10 Trixie saying "the movies are back" and "genre films just don't sell anymore" unprovoked and not knowing what people mean by that has me on the floor And then at 36:40 she doesn't even know about Tár 😭😭😭
The hair change at 50:24 looks like the original Barbie doll
I'm so happy Katya asked to and finished her story😂🙌
So much love to Katya and Trixie, two of my favourite humans on this planet. ❤❤
Amen!
Another great episode of Tracy and the Professor.
The pastiche is the format, theft is the technique 🧐
I would love it if Katya could actually tell us a story for once. Would love.
It’s in their contracts that she can’t
yeah, i was excited for them to talk about promising young woman… then the interrupting began
Is that something you want? Well let me tell you you're never gonna get it
tbf, trixie interrupts her own stories too. Lol it's so frustrating esp when I really wanna hear the end 😭
Love that trixie has torn tights on. Relatable content.
thank god Katya has finally spoken about "Manhunt"! she's so right, it's phenomenal and such a wild ride
Loved that book so much.
Literally about to go buy it, it sounds so good!!
Who is the Author please? 😊
@@amandaleemosey9629 gretchen felker-martin :)
I’m not really a big reader but I literally ordered it off Amazon the second she talked about it, it sounds incredible
at around 4:00 Trixie: What is that about?!?! Katya (without missing a beat): "It's about racism." I heart Katya!
“I had two cookie edible marijuana cookies….” “Okay, this is part of it.” “Shhhhhh…. Shhhhhh…” 😂 38:07
Trixie: anything else about my drag that you hate? Me, to my computer: THE GAPING HOLE IN YOUR TIGHTS GURL
that’s not the only thing gaping, uuunnhhhh.
@@tobeygun goddamnit I missed the opportunity to call it a “gaping chasm”
Especially given the critique to Betty Bittschlap in queen of the universe season 1 lol
love tuning into my fave bi-weekly movie review podcast!
Ok let’s hold on a second. Trixie, that better help ad was IT!!! Your vulnerability and the FACTS you spewed touched my soul, and made me feel seen, heard, and not alone. Thank you for that ❤️
I love this podcast so much it really helps to just chill out and recenter myself I love you guys
This is why I like to watch the adaptation first before reading the book. I can enjoy the adaptation totally and then when I read the book I can enjoy it even more.
The weather episode is such a mood booster. I watch it every so often just to teehee during the work week. Katya’s weather outfit is ICONIC. ❤
They both look so fucking amazing in this episode.
Not Katya having already explained the plot of Fleishman Is In Trouble and Trixie asking again about the plot.
"you can stand up, sit down, or lay flat" really made me cry laughing
I've been waiting for the TÁR review and Katya delivered without hesitation!
OMG I love their films discussions! They should do a separate film review pod lol x
yes Mahler 5! classical is a one way trip, so glad Katya is on it
The winding down is a much appreciated gesture
That wind down at the end was the most respect I've been given this week.
The Dipsea add had me cackling 🤣🤣
I'm so happy Katyas favorite episode of unhhh is Weather lol
A moment of silence for all the years we had to struggle through life before they dropped this bald, and in fact, dazzlingly beautiful podcast
Trixie is afraid of gorillas because they're one of the few species with hands big enough to snatch all of that FACE ✨✨✨
Really, they're one of the few species with hands.
Dying to hear Trixie's reaction to episode 3
Can’t wait til the podcast catches up to hear her opinion. All the game players I know love the series. I never played, but sadly knew a few things going in, but most of it was brand new and I loved it.
because of tar and my chorus singing the stuff at the end of symphony number 2, i listened to literally every single one of mahler’s symphonies and i fucking loved them
They are so considerate of the audience. I feel the love!
UNHhhh and a Podcast. I love this month.
Oh, if only everyone were as awesome as trixie & katya!🤩
Such a great episode ❤
It’s true- the weather episode of UNHhhh is actually one of their best.
Trixie outfit is so cool
I can't imagine a world without you two. You keep me sane!
I watched that weather episode countless times. Actually there is no wind you're just spinning....o you're right!
One of my favorite episodes lmao
Watchmen is her Contact.
The "LOVE THAT!" is giving In Living Color "Hated it!" 🤣😂
between B-52's and DEVO, Trixie is my New Wave queen
Best graphic novel Saga
I have been WAITING for katya to talk about tar
so you're telling me that trixies worst fear is the rainforest alliance?
We need more Katya book recs because Manhunt was SO GOOD!!
"And if you don't have a daughter-" "Then you've won the lottery"
katya living for cate blanchett in tár is why i love her so much
Trixie did not just straight up call out Eddy Burback 🤣
i wont lie, I've gone and watched atleast 7 movies because of Katya talking about them, and they were all good.
"I'm not laughing" LAHDHGAGOA
Loves the drags
I love that wig on trixie
I NEED to read this book from Katya’s recommendation MY GOD this sounds amazing.
Trixie telling that breakfast story again 😂 groundbreaking mama
I would watch/listen the HELL out of a Trixie & Katya True Crime podcast!!!!! DO IT PLEASE! ♥💀♥
Love that game & the show!!
The way that this is borderline the exact same topics covered in last weeks podcast
Brightburn is my favorite movie!!! I talk about it all the time. Changed my life
The David eating breakfast story two episodes in a row!
Everytime I see someone talk about how they’ve previous talked about certain things in other episodes I feel like I’m just as bad cause I don’t remember either🤣😭
the dipsea ad was perfect lmao
love these two.
Same, gurl.
Fantastic episode. Maybe its just me, but I'm glad when its not always about a tour I'm never in my life going to have the opportunity to attend. I'd rather listen to them talk about movies, TV, books and so on.
I regret getting a snack near the end of the episode XD love you Trixie and Katya
Both your looks are giving whilst living 💙
This has been out for 13 hours and I've listened to it at least 5 times. It's already old to me
Katya’s wig is too good. It looks so real.
Of all their pods, all the episodes of all their shows, this one actually made me see Trixie for who she actually is.
Mahler is lit and I’m so thrilled about this development
Trixie- Yes to the bangs!! more BANGS!! 🔥🔥
OMG Trixie about to read Y: the last man! if she can revive the dead in the water show that would be incredible