Nostalgia Critic takes on the Uwe Boll movie Alone in the Dark with some help.
Originally aired on September 8th, 2009.
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Given that this movie uses a German tax evasion to save money, shoulnd´nt it be called: "a Loan in the Dark"?
W
Here, have my like
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Well played 👏 👏 👏
Zodayn I'm starting to get the feeling that doug just pulls together a few comments from the video and calls that a script.
Fun fact: this episode is mentioned on Wikipedia in a list of famous media that uses text to speech
You're lying that article doesn't exist
@@Spilia4 I can’t find it anymore either, it was there at one point though.
Text to speech is something I depend on, so I appreciate it if nothing else. 🤷🏻♀️
@@TheToasterPope .. Thats why one neither reads much of or trusts anything on that made-to-be-changed-or-lie website of wikihorse-crap dot cork bore.
Why the hell was I in Star Trek VI?
Fun fact: that long opening narration gives away like 90% of the plot
najhoant Way to spoil your movie before the movie begins, narrator.
I love it when the editors realize that the movie was fucking terrible they just try to warn the audience of how stupid the movie gets using opening narration
It was put in apparently because test audiences couldn’t understand the plot
@@cosmokramer179 wow
XD
Uwe Boll has recently announced his retirement from filmmaking... REJOICE!
HALLELUJAH!!!! And no more boxing critics!!!!
joyunicycle shame as I never saw him do that on video xD
And no more screwing people out of their money via German tax loopholes!
mets2128 praise the Lord his reign is over!!!!
Awww no Bloodrayne 4? 😥
I COMPLETELY FORGOT DOUG HAD HAIR AT ONE POINT!
he still does
He did? Where???
Like on the back of his head
Motion Design No
+Motion Design try making good cartoons and then I'll get back to you
I'm surprised Uwe Boll didn't challenge NC to a boxing match. Could you imagine how that would've turned out?
Cosmo Kramer doug has his fangirls. What does uwe boll got?
Well, at least Linkara would have a good chance of winning... "I AM A MAN!!!"
Then NC pulls out his pistol. lol
Fun fact: If someone actually capable of fighting (such as Seanbaby) agreed to Boll's challenge, he'd pussy out.
@EAT THIS YOU GRAVY SUCKING DOG So a better person than you.
So many classic jokes. This episode is pure gold.
18:27:"MARCO! MARCO!" "Polo!" Nice touch! Also...."Fish out of water!"
I could be wrong but wasn't Ed Wood at least TRYING to make good movies? That'd put him ahead of Bowl imo.
and they were so bad they were good. these are just....
BAD
to be fair, he wouldn't beat the shit out of his critics if he didn't care. Maybe he really does enjoy his own movies... or maybe he's an ass with an overinflated ego, who's tosay?
True at least he was *trying* to make a good film
Paranormal Encyclopedia shouldn't he have said michael bay? Makes bad movies but still gets paid millions
Man, I want another Uwe Boll review...Best trio ever.
They did Bloodrayne as well
Yeah I know, just can't get enough of them.
what happened?
I can see why that would upset people... Jesus...
+DarkwingDuck 1984 That's incredibly inaccurate. The real reason was that Spoony wanted to go off and do his own thing. They've all come to terms with that crap years ago, or they wouldn't even do the collabs in the first place. Heck, they even poked fun at it in the Bloodrayne review (Which, you know, was a collab they did despite what you're saying) . Stop spreading that crap around.
You know, I wouldn't call Uwe Boll the "Next Ed Wood". At least Ed Wood was passionate about what he was doing. I believe he was just a terrible filmmaker that was trying his best. He was just... really, really bad at it.
I actually thought Rampage was really good. A little too much shaky cam for me but other than that the acting from the main character is surprisingly good. I'd avtually say check it out if you don't mind small bits of dark comedy with a really depressing plot.
I think Boll is the total opposite of Wood. Wood wanted to make movies and had a lot of passion, but zero budget. Boll makes and has a shitton of money, and he doesn't give a fuck about his movies or the source material
It's an insult to Wood to compare him to Boll. At least Wood possessed passion and effort; he just had no talent or budget. Boll, on the other hand, obviously puts no goddamn effort whatsoever into his work, thus removing any charm or even the possibility of coming close to "so bad it's good" status.
Tommy Wiseau can be called the next Ed Wood. Talentless and budgetless, but man does he try!
@G-Funk 1 agreed,that became a running joke in disaster artist how much money he ended up spending...apparently his account is an infinite hole of dollar bills and gold i guess...
Alone in the Dark, in a group, in the daylight. You mean Alone in the Dark Illumination?
Also, representing source material at its finest.
The three schmuckheads reviews are some of the funniest. We need more of them.
Spoony doesn't review movies anymore.
And Linkara left Channel Awesome. The old crossover days are long gone.
We still have these two reviews though
@JOE DRAWS Look idk what’s happening with spoony, but Doug and Linkara are completely fine, idk what you mean downward spiral, he makes reviews every week that get the same amount of views, the only reason linkara and Doug will never work together, is because linkara worked on the “change the channel” document
Id say they could review house of the dead Bloodrayne 2 And alone in the dark 2
Wow this review is 7 years old now. Nostalgia Critic reviews are old enough to have nostalgia themselves.
Darth Vegeta how do you think I feel!
How ironic Nostalgia critics reviews Have become nostalgic.
Rogue Rainbow yeah. People constantly view them through rose coloured glasses.
Oh! He should review his first review like Phelous did!
10 now
It’s a bit odd but I really like the episodes where the critic doesn’t talk and expresses everything through body language. He’s really good at controlling his face muscles
Uwe Boll makes Roland Emmerich look like Stanley Kubrick.
YOU NEVER WENT TO CASTLETON!!!!
What appens to spoony?
it was probably a hand me down
Yeah! Take that shirt off!
You Castleton snob!
But I did see Time Chasers. The hero (if you could call him that) wore that t-shirt.
YOU NEVER WENT TO CASTLETON!!
i dropped out ok?
This is Bloodrayne *slaps Linkara's hand*.
I was going to comment on that. That`s where I went to school. :P
I died at "my acting is going shatner!"
Tara Reid: "Some doors are meant to stay shut" Yeah, like the DVD case to this movie. 🤣🤣🤣
One of my favourite episodes :) three is normally a crowd but you three really made it work.
PhantomStrider Hi Strider. 👋🙈🙉
Bryanna Brown howdy Bryana :)
PhantomStrider Just wanted to say I really love your videos. You and Doug have some really good material. I've seen you two collaborated on a top 10 list, and I was wondering if you would try a review of your own. Maybe some of Don Bluth's later movies, like Anastasia. You seem to like Don Bluth's older movies, but also dislike his later movies *cough Troll in Central Park cough*. Once you get past the historical inaccuracies, Anastasia almost stands by itself as a sorta decent Diet Disney.
PhantomStrider And thanks for replying! I didn't actually except you to reply! Wow!
Please do top 6 worst Nickelodeon sitcoms
Fun fact: Mary Jo Slater, Christian Slater's mother, was the Casting Director for Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country and got her son cast because he was a huge fan of the original series.
Fun fact: That opening onslaught of text in the movie was read by the director himself. Now we can put a voice to Uwe Boll's evil.
I don’t think so. Uwe Boll has a thick German accent which the opening narration lacked. Sounds more like Christian Slater to me.
nahhh, his accent is really thick and his voice is really squeaky
That was totally filmed in a sauna.
Nope, it was filmed in Doug's house basement. There's the place he filmed 'The Room' review, 'Bebe's kids video game' review and many others. Check the 'Making of Alone in the Dark review' on CHANELAWESOME.COM.
Look for nostalgia of nostalgia critic. He explained he had a room he did most of the reviews that was a massage room (yes i am serious) where he did a majority
It looks like the AVGN basement, only without all the games and the other stuff
+Tiger Robocop "other stuff" meaning boxes. The Nerd loves boxes.
Sorry. I have a life.
If I wanted to get scared by flickering lights, I'd go watch Stranger Things
Comparing this to Stranger Things is like comparing Liz the Vet to Jane Goodall
or spongebob
... I miss Spoony. He's actually the reason I discovered TGWTG and AVGN around the same time
What happened to him?
@@extraincomeuk635 he got really depressed and doesn't seem to be seeking any help. He hasn't done ANYTHING in almost a decade, lost most of his Patreons and even let his own website go defunct. He VERY rarely streams and when he does it's terrible, almost no talking to the chat and when he does he's just angry and fighting with them, it's really sad
@@extraincomeuk635 I also heard a rumor he’s gonna through a lot in his personal life like his Bipolar getting worse, and a bunch of other stuff. But I can’t confirm this information though
@@extraincomeuk635 He became a lazy asshole. He can bring up all the crap about having bipolar disorder and other stuff, he just doesn't care about making more content.
@@okagron Ah yes....because having a documented medical issue is "being a lazy asshole". Newflash....he doesn't owe you anything. Therefore, he ain't being 'lazy'.
Best Three Stooges short ever. Critic is spot on with his Joe Besser impression.
"They're all from different locations: Venezuela, Newfoundland, Alaska, and now this one from Chile.""Burying them at the ends of the Earth." You see, there are these vast, new land masses across the seas. They are known as Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, and Antartica. I'm sure pieces of your puzzle are hidden there as well.
James A Clouder not Newfoundland, New Foundland
@@BoldAndBrash5683 Newfieland!
"Why the hell was I in Star Trek 6?"
James Jackson I’m watching it right now.
He was a Trekkie/Trekker, and his mother was the casting director.
@@Tubewings really?
@@gothnerd887 Yes, really.
@@Tubewings interesting
When we didn't knew that spoony never went to castleton
He allegedly went and dropped out.
Watch the Bloodrayne review, they actually make a callback joke.
Kiza I still have hope he's working on content, yeah it's been a while but real life happens and the like.
I'll assume you haven't followed him on social media for a while. He suffers from pretty severe depression, bi-polar disorder and sleep deprivation. All of those things mix into a cocktail that makes it an effort just to get out of bed.
wittyreviewer I heard of that but I didn't want to assume without being able to double check. I wish him luck with that stuff.
"I Brought science." Still cracks me up. Love this review.
You never went to Castleton, Spoony!
He dropped out okay?
This is Bloodrayne. (Slaps Linkara’s hand)
I don't like the fact that people are calling Uwe Boll the "Next Ed Wood". Ed Wood wasn't the best filmmaker, but he at least had passion for his work and tried his hardest to be a good filmmaker! Uwe Boll just produces this shit just to get money and doesn't give a flying fuck if his movies are good or not. And besides, Ed Woods films were actually enjoyable, not in the way he intended, but the it's-so-bad-it's-good kind of enjoyable. Uwe Boll's films are just bad and really painful to watch.
16:28 *mati walks in* “Pizza delivery” *bang* “HEART”
You gotta admire Christian Slater's reason for being in Star Trek VI--he did it as a favor to his mother.
Stephen Dorff looks like a low budget Kiefer Sutherland
That's basically what he was for a while.
Kiefer Sutherland if he was molded out of low grade beef
With the whiny voice of Edward Norton
One of the best NC videos, period.
I want a boxing match, Uwe Boll vs. these 3 guys here.
Doug would use his power to magically make a gun appear. linkara would shatter his ear drums from his high pitched voice and I don't know about spoony... yet
spoony would turn into dr.insano and use his force lighting trick to fry him
Hey, I just heard Uwe Boll has retired from filmmaking!!
REJOICE!
Henrik Brandt Thank God!
Praise the lord @@MasterBuilderDragon
Hallelujah
Miracles do happen after all!!!
WE NEED A REVIEW OF ANOTHER UWE BOLL MOVIE justo to see the three again
You mean after Bloodrayne?
TimeTravelinc Yep Like House of the Dead
I'm just interested in what Seed is like
Or Postal. I just want to see Doug's reaction about the 9/11 joke.
Bloodrayne was already done, so what's next? Rampage trilogy? ITNOTK Trilogy (seriously bad)? House of the Dead? The list is, unfortunately, endless.
Mystery Nostalgic Critic 3000
How was Christian in Star Trek VI? Four words: "Nepotism and a Paycheck." (His mom was the casting director.)
It was a cameo lol please
11:01 "We loves Edward, we loves him so much! No! We hates Edward, we hates him with all our..." That part always kills me
It's been nearly ten years but I still love the antics of these three.
Wait! Critic. It's dangerous to review this alone, here take this.(gives double straight Clorox bleach)
did you... did you just... YOU DID!
Honestly I found the computer voice Critic uses is annoying
yeah why did he do that?
at the time he had a sore throat and was really ill so they worked it into the episode.
That's why he reviewed it with Spoony and Linkara
Unless of course the man was... CHUCK NORRIS!
Or jesus
+Mysterious mr J same person
Victor Riquelme yes i breaded man who lived 2000 is a wrestler
CHHUCK NNNNOOOOOORRRRRIIISSSSSS!
No no it's "a-CHUCK-A-NORRIIIIIIIIIS"
I like how for the entire episode, nostalgia critic was doing his best Steven hawking impression.
The 2 days to retirement bit cracks me up every time
Doug, are you still in touch with Noah? His Vlogs and videos helped me through a depression, and I absolutely love all his work, but he doesn't do anything anymore, and doesnt talk about it either. It really saddens me, because I miss looking forward to his next videos. If you see him, thank him for me, for the awesome stuff he's done.
He still uploads? His last upload was last month.
He posted on Twitter recently that he has been working on something new, and that he will be posting an update very soon.
Good. I got worried he'd gotten ill again. Dude doesn't have the best health.
Noah suffers from pretty bad depression, as a fellow sufferer I sympathize. He posted a photo on twitter once of himself struggling to film and frankly I know the look. He streams sometimes and recently he's been quiet, but he's doing ok apparently. Got some new stuff on the way. I think the split from CA hit him hard, but I know Doug and a few others still talk to him.
@wittyreviewer: yeah, and he has heart problems to boot. It's bipolar disorder, technically, so he has those highs to deal with, too.
What ever happened to just investigating a haunted house in 1920's New Orleans after the owner committed suicide? Well, at least this movie isn't as bad as the 2008 video game.
And another game called Two World just borrowed the starting story..
Sorry, but I have to disagree with the idea of equating Uwe Boll to Ed Wood. The latter actually had intentions of making good films, but wasn't capable of doing so. The former doesn't even give crap and does bad films on purpose just for paycheck resulting from tax exemption loopholes. Truly a cinematic Hitler indeed.
Not to mention they dragged the awesome Nightwish into this. Fortunately, I skipped the credits so that Wish I Had an Angel won't be forever ruined for me. Also, I have no idea where the film is supposed to take place, but the Pender Street sign at the end makes it obvious it was filmed in Vancouver, from which I live a day's drive. I've walked down that street before because it's a short walk to Gastown and the convention centre. So screw this film even harder for involving my home province.
1:57 Never let someone take over your text-to-speech program. It could have serious consequences.
This is one of my all time favorite episodes - these three work so well together. Thanks Uwe Boll
Why the well was Christian Slater in "Star Trek 6"? Because his mother was the casting director, and got a part in the film as a favor to her. True story.
BREAKING NEWS: Uwe Boll has quit the movie business.
Randumb Shouldn't it be good news
SunnyD Wukong Breaking news isn't always bad news, dude...
***** Oh My bad
REJOICE!
He quit because nobody wanted to fund his next projects on Kickstarter, including a sequel to Postal. As a response, he made a video name-calling everyone an asshole (and that was unintentionally hilarious) So basically, it's good news
dougs expressions in the beginning as Spoony and Linkara drop in a pure comedy gold XD
This has got to be my all-time favourite NC episode, I'm sad that I couldn't vote for it for the anniversary Top 5 :(
"I like to wear women's clothing!" XD that was hillarious!
A lot of people likes to wear women's clothing
Where’s the 10 hour loop video of it? 😂😂
@@Liggliluff Yeah, women.
I love how they count Dr Insano as an “innocent civilian” 🤣
This is one of the best reviews. I watched it like 10 times and I gonna watch it again right now
Really want another Uwe Boll review. You guys should do what some critics call his actually best movie: Rampage.
Stonestream Dubs OK not every video game based movie is made by Uwe Boll
+Nathan Williams He means the 2009 film that is totally unrelated to the video game. Not the movie that came out months _after_ Stonestream Dubs posted that comment.
That flick was the worst kind of exploitation
Jonathan Szuhai Wait there was another rampage movie before the one that started The Rock
RAMPAGE was the name of a little seen serial murder flick from 1986 by William Freidkin. It was loosely based on the Sacramento Vampire Rapist. It co-starred Michael Biehn
Something about Doug's words coming out of a computer makes the sarcastic comments even funnier!
“Maybe she left her keys inside his mouth and can only get it out with her tongue” This is officially the funniest use of a text to speech robot I’ve ever heard on KZhead! And this whole episode is in my top 5 favourite NC videos ever. Thank you guys so much for making this masterpiece of a review.
"This move is one of the worst things ever made!" ~Hears Nightwish's "Wish I had an Angel"~ "...Ok, It's got one good thing..."
"I was on my way to get my prostate checked." "I suddenly realized I forgot to TiVo Lost." "Why the hell was in Rick and Morty?"
For my tastes, this remains the funniest NC review ever.
I second that. All three in a day of great inspiration ^^
Mark Lambert It's definitely one of his best
'Hi 90s kid, bye 90s kid.' (how is he alive?) 'Hi Dr Insano, bye Dr Insano.' (how many times has he been killed?) 'Hi Ma'ti, bye Ma'ti.' (Oops...) 'Hi Chester, bye Chester.' (again, how is he alive? That's twice he's been killed now.) So...
Love when the 3 Shmuckheads shooting and poses for snapshots in the darkness during that 'whole fight scene shot in the dark so you can't see any action' XD
3:25 Boooring! This is so boooring! This is so boooring! Get to the show!
I keep going back to that!
Doug: Obviously, you 2 are gonna see it. Lewis: Yep.
we need more hawking critic
YES!
8:47 Am i the only one who really wanted Dio to pop out of that coffin?
Honestly, i hate that Uwe Boll was called the modern Ed Wood. As shitty as Ed Wood´s movies are, he at least had a passion and love for his movies, even if they ended up being big bombs, Uwe Boll makes movie in order to screw people out of their money. He´s more like the Donald Trump of movies.
more likr evry politician ever.
You are right, I can at least respect a shitty creator that has passion, Uwe just makes intentionally bad movies to take profit of the whole german tax laws, he doesn't give a damn about what he makes.
Jack Rose Reviews i read this a long time ago so forgive my probably bad memory, but if i remember the german government wanted german cinema to not be made outside of germany so they decided to make certain changes that made it a lot more atractive to remain in Germany. They supported the movies and if the movie didn´t make it´s money back, the government would pay enough money so that the movie breaks even. Again, not sure if i´m remembering this right, so take this with a grain of salt
he's a con artist. his entire career is just a front for his producers-esque scheme of profiting off of flops.
Also, Uwe Boll's never going to get a movie made about him starring Johnny Depp.
Quick, somebody call Spoony and Linkara. We need another Three Smuckheads.
I miss classic Channel Awesome. Before everything went to hell, Nostalgia Critic didn’t have sidekicks and Spoony was still..... well Spoony :(
But he still didn’t go to Castleton 🧐
I now want to see a boxing match between Uwe Boll and Danny Bonaduce.
Thank god Christian Slater is in Mr Robot.
Before that,all he had was domestic violence and sexual abuse reports,drug addiction and Alone in the Dark. God bless you Sam Esmail.
Man I remember watching this when it first aired, good times
@fuck kyle Graham Jesus Christ, you are an asshole
I swear this is one of my favorite reviews...XD
The only good thing about that movie was the Nightwish Song; Wish I had an Angel.
Such a great video, I miss spoony
?
He tweeted a joke about raping another reviewer and thats what got him fired from Channel Awesome.
He had like the best cameo appearances in the entire show.
Incorrect. The fallout from that (And it was bad, but apologized for and at the time taken in good spirit) was massive yes, but he left on his own terms because the site was just not in a good place at the time. That it happened near the same time was unfortunate timing. Really, the site was a mess of politics, begging for the front page, and shoddy web design that made finding anyone other than "the main reviewers" nearly impossible. Considering they still work together on occasion, it's not as bad a situation as you're implying.
I would like to find out what happened to all the other old reveiwers I don't even know how many of them there is lol, whats the other guys name in here other than spoony, and where did he go lol
I miss these 3 together. Sad that time and egos seem to have destroyed such a beautiful thing.
I don't know if you've seen but there was a public letter signed by a lot of people that worked for NC and his brother calling them out for years of abuse
Why The Hell Was I In Star Trek VI? is the funniest one-episode running gag in Nostalgia Critic history
Oh Mr. Robot and/or Milo Murphy's Law, please give Christian Slater a career again.
8:29 is not from Alone in the Dark. It's actually how Dio Brando got to Egypt for Stardust Crusaders.
Holy shit that's actually true! xD
Oh yeah your right
***** you never know xD
NANII?
Wrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
lol, "rare white cab driver guy". must be a dying breed outside of my town.
Man, the Demogorgon was in some real shit before Stranger Things.
I love when you do reviews with Spoony and Linkara. I hope you will do more Uwe Boll movies with them. The three of you are too funny.
Unlikely to happen as Linkara left Channel Awesome and Spoony…did more than just leave Channel Awesome.
@@supermariofan03 oh that sucks. I really love them together. Thank you for your reply.
Oh man, this takes me back to the good ol' days when Spoony was a young man full of creative energy. At least his old stuff is still around in some form or another.
which is worst? this movie or the recent game?
We don't mention that game.
The movie. At least it has a working multiplayer.
I AM THE FWAKING UNIVERZEEE
*alone* in the dark. A MULTIPLAYER shooter.
The sad thing is that the PS1 is a hidden gem with tight controls, good graphics and the best Edward design, the old PC games are good also.
Left to Right: Wolowitz, Sheldon, Leonard
Wait... he was on a plane! Why did the kid say not to be afraid of the dark! There’s no darkness on a plane at day!
Cory: Nostalgia Critic as his absolute best
This DVD has every note I was wanting!
Ah yes, the good old times when there were still videos with Spoony coming out.
Yeah it was kinda his own fault
Jamail -van Westering Bipolar II is a bitch and the downside to the meds it that it fucks up the creative parts of the brain.
Jamail -van Westering Yeah, but that's not the reason his own release schedule went to shit.
That was a bad attempt at humour apologized for and everyone involved moved on from. Seriously, I've heard worse and more malicious. Lay off.
what hapened to spoony?
Doug's acting is great in this. You can see the attitude, what he's thinking etc just by his facial expressions.
Still one of his best videos ever.
8:33 I didn't know Maximilian Dood was in this picture.
...Holy crap... CANNOT UNSEEEE
IT IS HIM!!! Yeesus..
lol
LOOL
someone should show this to Max.
8:17 - 8:29 This part made me laugh so hard that I applauded to it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏
Uwe boll couldn't direct a porno movie....
ew
At least Kristianna Loken was naked.
Dennis Bunik but if he had a wig
Christian Slater played Jason Dean in Heathers and said "That's gonna be my entire personality"