Exclusive: How The Pill, Dating Apps, Porn & Girl Bosses BROKE Love | Matthew Hussey
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Welcome to another power-packed episode of Impact Theory, I’m Tom Bilyeu!
In today’s episode, Matthew Hussey and I are taking a deep dive into romantic relationships and how to most effectively navigate the challenging, high-stakes dating game in 2024.
From THE pill to the red pill, dating apps, crumbling gender norms, social media, weed, porn, aimlessness - all of it together is a disastrous cocktail.
And the volume and velocity of terrible, complex dating advice on the internet is astonishing, given there is a hilariously simple path to seduction and success in finding a real, lasting partnership.
Here to unpack the complexities of modern relationships is New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and world-leading dating coach, Matthew Hussey. Check out his latest book, “Love Life”, out now at lovelifebook.com.
In this interview, we touch on:
- stories men tell themselves about why women aren’t interested in them
- the red pill advice driving men crazy
- the search for empathy and acceptance in relationships
- challenges of modern dating culture
- the importance of healing from past traumas
- embracing individuality and charisma
- the impact of vulnerability in attraction
- societal impacts of women's independence
- the balance between protecting oneself and being vulnerable
- recognizing and avoiding unhealthy relationship patterns
- developing power beyond traditional stereotypes
- practical steps to feel visible and improve self-worth
- the complexity of understanding women and attraction
Through personal stories, both Matthew and I open up about our experiences with vulnerability in our relationships and the profound impact of being fully seen and accepted.
Buckle up for an episode that promises to not only challenge your perspectives but offer tangible advice on navigating the evolving landscape of love and relationships.
Chapter Markers:
[0:00] What drives attraction
[41:07] Keys to finding love
[1:13:22] A different perspective on life's unfairness
[1:44:33] Not everyone can understand you
[2:18:47] Priorities for personal fulfillment
[2:53:10] New sources of validation
Powerful Insights From Matthew Hussey:
"So much of what drives attraction is more charisma...I think that it's a kind of the idea that the rich guy gets or the attention is quickly undermined by how much a woman will pay more attention to someone who's charismatic in a room than the guy who is like, you know, flaunting how much wealth they have."
"If you have fundamental things in place, like your own confidence, like an acceptance of yourself and who you are, like a sense of purpose about what you enjoy and what you want to do in life, you are going to find someone who appreciates you for what you are, for who you are, for what you're doing, that you don't fit into some kind of a mold that would win the popularity contest in the mating game."
“How do we actually bring men and women together and have them be more compassionate towards each other on the women's side, too? Because to me, that will change the game for people."
Follow Matthew Hussey:
Website: matthewhussey.com/
KZhead: / gettheguyteam
Facebook: / coachmatthewhussey
Order “Love Life”: lovelifebook.com/
Follow Me, Tom Bilyeu:
Website: impacttheoryuniversity.com/
X: / tombilyeu
Instagram: / tombilyeu
If you want to dive deeper into my content, search through every episode, find specific topics I've covered, and ask me questions. Go to my Dexa page: dexa.ai/tombilyeu
Themes: Mindset, Finance, World Affairs, Health & Productivity, Future & Tech, Simulation Theory & Physics, Dating & Relationships
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
Tom, Rather than having a Red Pill 'hater' tell you what the red pill is, How about interview Rollo Tomassi (author of 5 books on the topic) The Rational Male series. He's known as the godfather of the red pill, as he's been involved in it for about 20+ years. He was also on the Dr. Phil show too.
Or myron from fresh and fit @@atheplummer
@@amine15777 Myron would be too hot for Tom and his gynocentric audience. To interview Myron would further solidify what Tom and his audience already believe. And for god's sake, do not get Pearlythings on here... She's like children's watercolors are to the art of painting.
Well said, love your content
I can do a great impersonation of you Tom. "From an evolutionary biological standpoint... [Insert subject]" ... That's all I ever hear you say... On everything!! LMAO
This guy will never say anything that will make his women customers uncomfortable
Don't take them so seriously. I spared you of 3 hours of intellectual pyrotechnics, now go out and do something fun.
agreed
Well said 🏆💯 Sigma Rules ⛵ Fitness, Finance & 🚫 giving a F@#k
Thanks. I'm slowly getting tired of millionaires on podcasts telling me what's missing in my life.
Yep, the guy is a snake oil salesmen.
@@thomasjones4570 They all are. The pillers, coaches, pickup artists, course sellers, gurus, motivational speakers, experts in xy, big ones, small ones... It's a business model and people's eyeballs are the currency.
Let’s face it, whether you are a man or a woman, it’s easier to blame the injustice than it is to do the work to become a high value individual. There are multiple traits that combine to make someone an attractive mate. You don’t have to be the tallest, the richest, or the most beautiful; but you must bring a net gain to the relationship. If the people around you don’t recognize your value, you need to reevaluate yourself or build a cohort that is capable of appreciating you.
You can blame the injustices and do the self work at the same time. The issue is if you live in a society where a very small percentage are succeeding, then it’s going to be hard for self work to overcome that. It’s extremely hard to economically succeed in 1st world countries but it’s 1000x in poor countries which is why people emigrate. Will power can’t overcome bad conditions most of the time
Agree.. all relationships are about exchanging value . If you bring little or no value to the relationship then it will end .
Well said. Most people will not do the work but they will complain about almost everything. Its pretty easy these days to boost ahead of the *crowd*. Open your eyes and see it for what it is take advantage of it. Most men and women aren't really all that great. Level up and then go find someone who has leveled up. It's Lonely at the Top but its a killer view.
Clearly you've never strolled the aisles of Walmart. There's someone for everyone. 🤣
As Jordnan Peterson saoid "Some man asked me why do men have problem to date?... I told him, its not your business, you should care why you can not find a partner." He is right we analyze the world instead of creating teh rules that work for us....this way you get much accurate ideas. and part of the rules is being gentle but assertive and be emphatic and compassionate, because people want to raise comapssionate kids. Compassion creates a connection.
If you can afford to be yourself, you are wealthy in many ways
This is a really interesting statement!
Lol gotta love the imaginary truths…u can’t be in the US
Well said 🏆💯 Don't allow societal norms to define your self worth or value. Being yourSELF & becoming the best version for YOUrself is what is the most important 🎯 Sigma Rules ⛵ Fitness, Finance & 🚫 giving a F@#k
@@DSILVAjeiy Lol tell that to the poor class who are struggling to decide between gas and food yet unable to purchase property while working overtime. Thats when it goes from idealistic to real - real quick.
@@thematthewhusseyI agree!
What these guru's are missing while trying to be somewhat politically correct is that Women make wrong choices often as do men. All the idealistic talk of attracting people whose idea of perfect is "the bad boy" or the "irresponsible cool guy" doesn't work well when families and children are on the line. Look at the divorce rate now and in the past when people lived boring old responsible lives and women wanted a guy who could take care of the family and provide the masculinity male children need to develop properly. Now that everyone is trying to live their best life and optimize everything they are undecided, unaccountable, confused about life and everything in it because they would rather listen to temporary feeling and guru's their same age and experience level than morals that make perfect logical sense and served society well.... too boring.
Matthew literally addresses this. He says people outgrow there silly relationship ideals, like wanting a tall millionaire husband, and that women and men grow up and look for different things. And that is reasonable. Most people back in the day got married to the person around them because men were literally a woman’s ticket for survival. Women literally depended on a man for a home, food etc, so obviously they put their own true desires to the side. Most women did not marry their husbands because they had an amazing relationship - they did it out necessity.
@@evalebedinsky3830 Your use of literally is redundant...literally. Most people back in the day...? You sound like you did a research paper on a mass of people who are still alive and you have never met. Speaking for all, most or even some of women is presumptuous and foolish. You come off like a child talking about adult matters. Most of what you replied has nothing to do with men and women being held accountable for the current state of their lives and society at large which is what I spoke of. Your reaching for a feminist argument no one is arguing but you.
@@evalebedinsky3830 Regardless of your disjointed response a family works to raise children far better than a single parent granted that both parents have chosen each other for the right reasons namely having and raising children rather than pleasing your ego, mind and flesh which are base desires and don't last. You see how the opposite is turning out for society.
sounds like slight projection lol
@@Onekindoflife Your profile pic must be a slight projection of your mental state
The three hours of this podcast can be boiled down to Tom reaffirming to the world on the woman he got and screaming to the world that is what all women are like. If you feel so confident about your choice, you would not be making these three hour long personal affirmation videos, Tom.
😂😂😂 oh my god so true!
Exactly
what are you basing this on?
Both women and men rush relationships before they kniw a person and then when it doesnt work out the hurt creates bitterness and its a vicious cycle.
yeah, that's very common among emotionally immature people.
Most relationships don’t start with a spark, it’s slowly build.
That's not the main issue.
Yeah it's almost like everyone who failed to rush into reproductive relationships died of extinction. Funny how that works, huh?
I don't believe that at all. I've known couples who are instantly attracted and are married within a few weeks/months. I also believe that a man chooses us. When he's ready.
A lot of you want a black and white answer and so Matthew’s approach might frustrate you. But Matthew addresses men AND women as HUMANS first before their gender. He recognizes that there are people on all spectrum of internal work. That’s why he doesn’t put people in fixed boxes. This is a sign that he himself does a lot of internal work.
He doesn't need to put people in fixed boxes, but he talks about men and women as if they're exactly the same, which is preposterous and not particularly helpful. The idea that men and women want the same things out of their career and relationships, and their day-to-day life, is completely absurd. He obviously does not have a wife or children.
@@adonirammccarthy3994 He's recognizing that we are more similar than different (in terms of the most basic human need which is to be seen and loved fully as our authentic selves), but I do agree that we are different in many ways.
He has a girlfriend, and he is very considered and thoughtful in what he says because there are no quick, easy fixes or answers to relationship challenges, which unfortunately too many people seek.
Matthew doesn’t pay my mortgage nothing he could do would frustrate me. If people don’t agree they just don’t agree. Some of these guru’s are actually not correct sometimes.
This has to be a marketing shill / bot to fight the obviously negative comments regarding this young man’s experience level and supposed wisdom on females.
Tom thinks he knows so much more than he really does.
I swear to God
😂😂
Tom is pretty intelligent though. That is quite obvious
I think it's the opposite actually. I think he likes to play down his intelligence to make him more relatable
What do you hope to accomplish by saying that. If you feel like that I'm confused as to why you're watching. Trolls.. smh some say yall are necessary but are you really?
I usually like Mathew advice but for this one I've lost a lot of confidence in you brother men and women are not the same emotionally, physically the list can go on but with that said man and women bring different things to the table for a balance
I think what he means is that we are similar and equivalent but the way it shows up is different. That being said, we judge, blame, others for what we don’t like when we ourselves fundamentally do the same in other ways.
I think he did not said anything... Seriously Matt is confused... I was watching this over 1 h and just had to stop ...do not recommend
That guy was talking without saying a thing; I got bored.
These people are not your friends.
LMAO love it
Why is this shit 3 hours long though ? It's not that deep.
This podcast is so long because Matthew Hussey gives multi-paragraph responses with low signal to noise ratio for each of Tom's questions.
😂
I agree with your guest speaker. Most of the women I know do not enjoy the home making responsibilities especially if the house work is not divided equally among the two partners. I grew up in an era where we had housekeepers because labor was cheap. I wouldn’t trade my office job for that job because it’s very difficult. Infact I think that housekeepers should be highly paid because it’s a thankless job and extremely difficult and monotonous. Very many women I know are opting not to get married because they don’t see how they will be able to balance their careers whilst being 100% responsible for the home’s upkeep. Which includes cleaning 🧹, laundry 🧺, cooking 🥘, childcare 👩🍼.
Exactly 💯 on point!!! 👏
Yep. It's why you're being phased out and replaced for superior women.
@@scartissuefilmsyou mean women you can use and abuse and then throw away for a newer model. I feel bad for them
Your obviously a delicate snowflake, lol “we had housekeepers” I can’t take either one of your advice I dont see your demographic avoiding divorce or his. Listen to your parents and grands if they stuck together 30-50+ years instead of a young well spoken Ken or an old well to do one.
Aside from childcare, before my relationship, I was already working full-time, cooking, cleaning, and doing my own laundry. Setting expectations with your partner is what should be prioritized, not refusal of marriage because you didn't communicate your needs and wants. House work does suck, but it needs to be done whether you're with someone or not.
What a terrible and I mean terrrrrible episode this was
Change the conversation from “who I pretend to be” vs who I am with the addition of a tiny bit of bravery to be vulnerable, honest, and assertive.
Yea, until she calls you a creep and you're "Me Too'ed".
If you pretend to be someone else, then you are never giving them a chance to love the real you. Who cares if they love your mask? It's just a mask, it's not you. If you can't be authentic, then you can't truly be loved, because that which needs to be loved is hiding away.
@@croissants1280 “me too’ed”? Do you lack the basic social skill of differentiating between sexual assault and getting to know someone? There is a huge gap between meeting someone, letting them get to know who you are, and forcing yourself on them. Get therapy to ascertain the difference before dating.
@@annpierce9250 i've noticed that Psychotherapy often turns into another echo chamber for people to rationalize their maladaptive behaviors rather than to actually improve themselves, so i don't think the commenter will necessarily turn out better than what you're noticing now :/
There is a successful singer of 80s in Czechia Michal David who ´s wife is bigger one head, she was a tennis player. and when they first met in empty restaurant, she was the one who invited him to table, anda sked him who he is, she didnt know he is singera nd successful next time they met they became patners.. Few years later they got married because she wanted kids, she stopped her tennis career due injury, so she becam ehis music manager making phone calls a nd concerts etc when journalists asked 30 years later what she likes about him, she said his charisma. they askeds him what are her shortcommings he said she has no shortcommings. she said my shortcommings are taht I forgot to put out his stuff from clothes before washing. He said my shortcommings are that I sometimes dont listen when she is talking. thye have very harmonious relatiosnhips and they travel together to Asia to Thailand and enjoy food. He is the type of guys who make fun of his smaller body, he isnt afraid standing next to 180 cm female athlete or fan and make a remark about his small body. He has a sense of humor, therefore his wife likes him. His hungarian audience in 80s couldnt remember his ordinary name He created name Michal David, after his sister Micahela....and David because of David and Goliath. Many women have shorter husband like Michael J. Fox, or Gregg Braden.. because these women like his personlity. Threse guys nevetr complain about beiung samller, because they are smart and funny and emphatic which women find attractive. If men and women will have a sense of humor thye craete the best connectuon with others.
“Because men and women are different”. Tom Matthew really struggles with this and wishes it wasn’t true
As do all new age guru's with any truth that can't be resold as an original idea
Your time is limited. There are more than enough people in the world who choose to do things that separate them from success. To be successful, you must be strong and tough.
"I think there's a... Japanese book by... somebody... I don't remember that's... about maybe a temple that kinda... "...isnt worth listening any further to.
Nice guys finish last. Matt is a blow arse.
Bro is so out of touch
Exactly.
Audience Capture on full display here. Matthew is more concerned about not being called a misogynist than getting to the truth.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that noticed this! He has a very strong financial motive to not touch on certain areas.
Agreed. Matthew Hussey's customer base is primarily young women, so he's going to advocate that perspective above any competing perspectives
I disagree. I think he really believes what he says. He works with women who desire a real relationship over pursuing sex. The redpill truth that Tom talks about sounds like truths about the sexual patterns of men and women (I.e women want rich, powerful men, men want young beautiful women). But this is true only for sex, while Matthew sees how people actually get into relationships. Most redpill people don’t have any idea what real relationships are like. So I think Matthew is right, he actually has the perspective of people who want relationships more than sex and validation
dude's a coward for sure and afraid to say anything negative about women.
@@evalebedinsky3830 that’s a good point, he definitely comes at these topics from a different perspective. But don’t you find his style to be contrarian rather than trying to find answers?
Charm = Harm!!! We are describing sociopaths here.
Only for those living in the forest
I usually agree with Tom but there were a lot of misses on his side for me. Matthew was much more accurate in representing the woman perspective. Cool conversation though.
Keep in mind Matthew has a very strong $$$ incentive to deliver his message in a nice way to women .. and he’s rolling in the cash .. I can’t blame him
He did a better job at saying the dumb isht women say about their life...which anyone with life experience knows is nonesense. Its a social virtue signal.
I don’t want old time religion. It is a very toxic misogynistic mess. We need spiritual kindness.
There is so much in this video that I resonated with and needed to hear. Thank you both for putting out such an amazing podcast
😂Drizzle Drizzle 😂
Preach! You have nailed it on the head. Quit guessing what women want. They want an equal partner. Someone who shares the load and respects her for who she is. Imagine how much simpler your relationship would be if she felt respected and heard.
“Equal” There’s that word again. It causeth so much confusion and pain in modern day yet we keep striving for it
You obviously have very little practical experience with women
Emotionaly equal, like talking about hobbies interests sports.... so both dont have to guess. Which means they dont have to like exactly the same hobbies, but have equal respect talking about the interests. showing equal respect when talking about them. then they may create alkso new sets of ideas and hobbies that they like to do together. some of them thye should do separatedly, like sports travelling reading etc and some they should do together like travelling sports or reading. :)
@@alenaadamkova5322 Psychological mumbo jumbo. Women care nothing about emotional equal ect. They care about and are only loyal to their emotions at that moment whether it's logical or not.
Exactly! I make more money and still treated like he's smarter, better. I wish he actually was...lol
I wanted to help out with the question about the difference between men and women in the workplace concerning the bearing of children. Women can have babies. Men cannot. Women are biologically equipped to be that babies primary caregiver. Let's stop ignoring the elephant in the room here. It takes 2 people to raise a child effectively. Men and women are biologically equipped to take on this task as a team, fulfilling specialized roles. It is a mistake to believe we will find fulfillment by "liberating" ourselves from this biological (spiritual?) reality.
Reality isn't conducive to liberation from it. It just is.
The pill came out in the 60s this took parenting off peoples minds. Welfare also came out in the 60s It took independent wealth building and legacy off peoples minds. Dont treat a safety net like a hammock.
In summary, Matt: I feel like…
😂😂😂😂
If you happen to get too wrapped up in the genetic lottery, or some other single measure, take a look at the number of truly beautiful &/or successful people who have committed suicide at the height of their popularity. Eventually, you are going to have to go deeper to find contentment. Ps. All of those beautiful people will eventually age. If that’s the very foundation for your value or the value of your mate then it is, by definition, a short term relationship.
Listening to these two friends talk and literally debate the two sides of this coin I debate in my head every day, is pretty dope
I learned Charm and passion about something in life drives women nuts!
But only if you are not obsessed with the information, other wise you may turn to others pectrum of knowledgre. or energy.
When I was a teenager, all the “polls” said guys like a fresh-scrubbed Girl Next Door. The *actually* asked out the heavily made up girls with the sexy clothes 🤷🏻♀️
liking someone in a loving way is different than wanting to spend a night with someone though
@@Nikki..... true true very true. Adults understand this. Try telling this to a lonely teenage girl who wants acceptance from the opposite sex.
Yeah, of course you tell. And if she hasn't been disciplined to listen, your legacy is F'd in the A. @@daisyviluck7932
Too funny how Tom sips on his coffee like this is bullshit 😂😂😂
My T is dropping from listening to Hussey.
yeah this is more lies for women
Women are attracted to resourcefulness. Charisma, humor, confidence, etc. are resourceful in a room full of high resource men.
While they have lost their value.
@@rodneyd1168 true. while women have lost 90% of what men are attracted to, all the meanwhile upping their standards and becoming the most delusional females history has ever seen.
😂😂😂. You basically stated women are like a bunch of flies attracted to a honey comb. And yes, you are right.
Women just like other humans want love, acceptance and respect. Physical features can only get you far as a teenager after that it is character.
This interview is what I appreciate about Tom, he requires his guests to explain their points. Not in an inflammatory way, but rather, he is trying to distil their points to better understand where his guests are coming from
I had respect for Hussey before this interview but the more I listen to him the more I'm realising he's delusional.
Hussey has some interesting insights, but we all need to remember that he has made a career out of charming and "helping" women. He is much less concerned with men's struggles.
BINGO!!!!!!
I can tell. It seemed liked after the first few minutes he was 💯 anti men 😂
Ooof this was hard to listen to Matt prattle on and on being so fundamentally wrong without any push back.
Anything to add to why he's wrong? Or do you like to criticize people without backing it up with examples?
Haha, Matt understands women more than you ever will. The status of attained attractiveness in some men can be so distasteful.
I think he wasn't pushed back because Tom didn't want to embarrass him, so he played along the same level. Tom is a ton of times superior in intelligence than him.
Also Matthew your appeal for me is the humility and openess . Along with integrity .. with your maturity.... Relationships are how we learn about ourselves ... 🙂 .. desire to learn and grow is key to successfully navigating lifes trials ... You have a deep Soul ... ThankYou for Being !!!
Movement online now from women not wanting or needing men anymore interesting to read their comments
I effortlessly attract women with Sex Panther.
You know they have done studies on it , . Apparently it works 60% of the time.....every time.
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
That doesn’t make sense.. 😅
I'm calling PETA
Matthew Hussey appeals to women because he talks in such a Long winded, roundabout manner without saying anything precise
All I see is Tom talking non stop.
Matthew is the white Derrick Jaxn.
3 hrs of nonsense from 2 wind-bags
That style of speaking also appeals to Western women because he has a British accent. Hussey is good at making pleasant sounds, as opposed to being good at making pithy, logical arguments. Being good at making pleasant sounds really resonates with the average Western woman; it has a seductive quality to it.
@@abraxas511 Tom is talking because he is calling this guy out. That's what I like about Tom when it comes to topics like this.
Alot of highly intelligent people appear on this podcast, but I dont believe he is one of them. Although I agree with many of his ideas, most of his positions don't seem thought through.
You're probably noticing what other commenters have pointed out about Matthew Hussey's long-winded responses that don't give a lot of insight beyond what Tom mentions. Hussey's style of speaking appeals to his customer base, which is primarily young Western women. Hussey is good at making "pleasant sounds", as opposed to being good at making pithy, logical arguments. Being good at making pleasant sounds really resonates with the average Western woman; it has a seductive quality to it.
Be rich thats all you need.
A woman's sexual desire trumps her need for money in the modern age. Really you want a girl sexually addicted to you.
JuSt bE rIcH bRo
hahahaha
That’s why famous and many rich people are single and break up all the time … no, be rich ain’t enough
symmetry means you don't have parasites 🤣🤣🤣
I still think the main reason people are unhappy is that they are looking externally for what they should be happy about. They look to popular culture or peers and they are 'supposed' to value in a mate, in life, rather than truly introspecting to understand what they themselves want. We look externally for validation, etc. I know a lot of this is baked into our genes, but while genes are powerful, our minds can subvert these programs over time and allow us to stop acting and thinking so automatically.
All of these issues are caused by our evolved nature clashing with modern constructs such as modern feminism, hormonal contraception, the sexual revolution, social media, corn, and dating apps. The only way to fix this is to live more in harmony with our evolved nature and gender roles. I'm not a religious man, but it could be argued that some of the religious doctrines were introduced to keep some of the human tendencies we're currently seeing in check for the betterment of society and human kind as a whole.
Thank you Matthew for getting to the bottom of the roots. Generalisations are interesting and can help to understand differences, which can be important, and I firmly believe that we learn to integrate and learn from each other. But the next and profound step is to recognise what unites us, and that is the longing to be loved and accepted. Status, beauty and charisma will never fulfil you. Start with yourself and then find the person who loves you for who you are. And I agree 100% with his conclusion that a man often doesn't see a woman as a person, but as something abstract, as the other. But we are really the same thing. Another soul being in a male or female body with the same desires as yourself. This is a great interview because Matthew is so brave to reveal himself to all of us.
Tom is so fact based that its almost confusing why he isn't seeking to talk to someone, (Rollo Tomassi or Michael Sartain) in the Red Pill community that operates that way. Matthew Hussey operates from an emotive state, determining his conclusions on emotional entanglement, hence why he says "I feel like".
90/10 rule.
geez, tom has perfected the stare down into the bottom of your soul look👀
My mom kinna gave up after decades of dedication (business & personal) | I used to judge her quite a bit. I’ll never pass judgement that way ever again. I’ve withdrawn from all relationships & consider making an effort feeble. I’m 47 yrs old & I’ve thrown the towel in. I don’t wish it on anyone. May the force be with you all though. Thanks for schooling the masses. Being responsible with one anothers’ innocent hearts is pinnacle
You're not meeting your life long partner at the club, and you are not doing your mental health any favours with one night stands. Stay away from clubs, alcohol intoxication, and that one tool I use in my garden
3 hours to try and define what attracts women (what). One word. TEMPTATION! This is the crack for all women.
This helped me on so many levels, thanks you guys a lot!
More money hasn't helped me get laid in the least. Matter of fact it was much easier to hookup with a woman when I was bouncing in and out of prison for drug charges. 🤔
That's the werewolf and vampire thing...
If you want the deepest possible connection with a woman, you want her to feel sexual desire for you in an addictive way. Your looks are important, aswell as acquiring sexual skill. For most men, you want to be in a monagamous long term relationship to acquire the skill because that is how you will get the most practice.
Husband wanted. Previous experience required: Already committed to a long term relationship. Sorry, candidate unavailable. Please try again later.
Truth is so powerful. For both sides.
As always, a great conversation. "Be responsible for your own human and dont sleep on the job!!"
Everyone knows this, it's how you lose in divorce. There is no win there
Love how Matthew calls out the hypocrisy of begrudging the women who have height as a preference but holding onto their own preferences that are purely physical as well. And other double standards.
I can't believe I almost didn't watch this because of the title. Such a great conversation
This is sad. You can't tell the harsh truth so you are softening it and removing the real value.
Exactly
Asking an apple to be an orange? Got it!
1:51:25 This Mathew Hussey guy is the best... Applicable frame across all positions 🙏✨ Communicated from a place of clarity.
I'm sorry. I listened to this guy defend women's preference and also say that it's bad for men to have preferences and then defend womens promiscuity . He's the most blue pill person I've heard speak about relationships and acts like a man having simple standards and wanting a good women is a bad thing. More promiscuous means more likely will be unfaithful and can't properly bond for a relationship. People thought Tom was a blue pill simp Lol And no I'm not a red pill guy who wants to control women etc. Tom is on point with the data in this. When matt first began talking about how people should treat eachother I was 100% on board and then he gets so angry about anything red pill. Its pretty wild. His facial expressions are so upset when tom gives valid points and pushes back.
Means his wife is a promiscuous woman who controls him.
A woman wants her man to LUST for her. In The Titanic, DiCaprio had so much lust for her and her fiancee did not. Beauty and the Beast......same deal. Beast has so much lust for her that it changes him.
Hes also...a beast. Theres that taming the monster motif
The right woman for you will never find you less of a man if you show your vulnerable side as long as it isn't the only side you possess. So Matthew found a good woman 👍 and I disagree with Tom - it's not just about fixing oneself and appearing always attractive but rather being genuinely yourself, and which will weed out who is not right for you. Trying to hide your vulnerabilities can only last so long for one sided affairs with one sided partners instead of embracing and supporting the whole person in a joint journey of healing and development.
Minute 46: Trying to figure out red pill anger
Doesn’t seem like this guy has his points thought out clearly, a lot of rambling and not saying anything.
Charisma is a characteristic trait which can be tied into competence & confidence. The byproducts of these traits usually produce metrics of success, that’s why women look for men signals of these cha of monetary and social status metrics ie home, cars, friend groups, travel destinations etc…
Who know women better? Is it the man who is in a successful marriage, and has been for decades? Or, Is it the man who makes a living telling women what they want to hear?
Exactly. Critical thinking is lacking sorely these days, and it shows
I know I would have handled this interview differently, and I don't think we got any good answers to the problems posed by Tom. Short break down: 1. 52:00 "she will be happier raising kids" - Instead of going to patronization, I'd approach this as stated vs revealed preferences. The "revealed preference" makes most men invisible. They might state how they want a good guy with qualities x,y,z - but the revealed preference is that time and time again they choose people with qualities a,b,c which the good men consistently keep in check. Dating is in shambles because this preference is revealed every day. 2. 2:40:00 - Tom lays out this gordian knot. Women are doing better across all social hierarchies, women are still hypergamous, therefore the pool of men who match up to these hypergamous instincts is shrinking. His 3 potential solutions: a. put the genie back in the bottle (more religion, women retreat from social hierarchies); b. men "be better" which is obviously not a possibility for all men because pareto principle and normal distributions (the curve remains, even if the curve as a whole shifts, and if it shifts too far, then women complain because women will do comparatively worse across all social hierarchies); c. women want less from your man or don't become as "bad ass". All 3 are different approaches to the same problem, but aim for the same goal - elevate the social dominance of men over women so that woman's hypergamous instincts can be satisfied by a larger pool of men. None of them get at the root of the problem - women's hypergamous instincts. Even though these 2 gents have found wonderful wives, neither of them have gone through losing it all and having that wonderful wife stay with them... and the odds of that experience happening to them is lessening with every dollar they earn. Hypergamy means that for most women, they WON'T stay with a guy going through an extended rough patch. They won't stick around... they would rather bail and "don't need no man" to satisfy hypergamy. The only solution to this problem is that women as a group need to police women's hypergamy. How that's done - shame, promoting new social hierarchies, creating hierarchies based off of values that can't be monetized... whatever the solution is to this problem, the area that needs adjusting is in these base instincts that women have. In a post-pill era, hypergamy needs to die off... in the same way that men have needed to kill off physical violence as a go-to solution for the problems they face (which as a project is well underway). As long as the problem of hypergamy remains, there isn't much that men as a group can do to solve this problem for men at large. The best we can do is graduate ourselves from one of the have-nots to the haves. That's not a great solution. I don't want to take a drink from the tap, knowing that my brothers are still dying of thirst without addressing the problem that caused the situation in the first place. So what if you get a woman (or a few) to want to be with you when you are on your rise. That isn't love. You can have hypergamy or equality. Can't have both.
Robert I give you credit for that great post! Very informative 👍🏻
Dating advice; do not wear your cap backwards
Matthew is simping. Why waste 3 hours.
He has so many wrong viewpoints of what the redpill truly is. He needs to bring Rollo Tomassi on his show.
It's the old nature vs. nurture.
A person can "be themselves" and have no charisma at all, it really comes down to looks though, most woman are superficial although they'll never admit it.
I think what they try to say is that neuroscientifically there re differences to the way women and men are shaped, but at the core of our soul, the basic needs we have are common. We may have the same needs in many aspects, but the way we ll navigate-respond or request it, differs. This is also my experience and observation.
I enjoyed every minute of listening and learning from you both❤thanks for sharing 😊 I've been divorced twice, last one after a 33 year marriage. Raised four children. It took me three years of dating at 57 years old. Worked on learning to love myself. To find a wonderful, strong, kind, man to share unconditional love for the past five years. I'm not rushing into marriage with him. Like in my past.
Thanks man , we wish if you can talk more about these things, I believe it's very important.
3 hours not enough for you?
Love the interview… interesting to see you promoting gold 🤔
Just walk away..... RUN!
This is first time for me to see this guest, but he does have some interesting and useful insights, at least more than most. Although, I dont ever agree with anyone 100%, except for me, myself, and I. And I disagree with me and myself sometimes even one day later, lol. Onward through the fog!
I sense the projection of one's own problems towards people they don't like.
As soon as he said "men and women want the same things" I was done 🤣 There is no way this guy is married, and if he is, he definitely does not have children. One of the more naive sounding conversations I've heard of Tim have in a long time.
This gave me a better perspective on men and women. I love when you interview him. Thank you.
I don't care what women want.
I do not understand all the negative comments. Lack of good communication and respect for men and women is essential. How will you get anywhere or who is right for you without it?
Maybe.. but I don't get it...
Maybe we can recognize how wounded our society is as a whole and probably 90% of the population is leading with this wounding in relationship… it’s unfortunate
Agree
I have witnessed everyone i know go through divorce and I stay single this kid has never come to the amount of woman I have been with. Banging married women keeps me single
Minute 47: Matthew loves false equivalence
You forgot to add “Women want to heal the narcissist.” 😅
Erroneous-women aren’t interested in self-improvement
Wow. I’m a bit surprised about the comments. I’m not even sure why though. I got schooled. And I’m in an amazing marriage. 18 yrs. I love him. He’s amazing. But still a “guy”. Which imo is just normal.
I can do a great impersonation of Tom. "From an evolutionary biological standpoint... [Insert subject]" ... That's all I ever hear you say... On everything!! LMAO
Not a fan of these titles that make us click to find out who the interviewee is unless we know them by their picture. Feels gimmicky.
The problem with the "red pill" mindset and the mindset of this guest are the same. They resent the nature of reality.