Why do Germans stare? 👀 | Easy German 369
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Easy Languages is an international video project aiming at supporting people worldwide to learn languages through authentic street interviews and expose the street culture of participating partner countries abroad. Episodes are produced in local languages and contain subtitles in both the original language as well as in English.
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Hosts of this episode: Carina Schmid (www.carisafari.de) and Janusz Hamerski
Camera: Janusz Hamerski / Pila Gonzales / Carina Schmid
Edit: Janusz Hamerski / Carina Schmid
Translation: Ben Eve
As a German who stares a lot even by German standarts , I can tell you that is like watching Tv. You don’t necessarily judge someone, you simply watch and eventually zone out.
It is indeed a cool culture. People are free to do what they want to do. I don't really comprehend why people are triggered by getting stared at.
@@user-vw7rz3nb9u probably insecurities :)
Definitely! The "zoning out" wasn't even mentioned, right? Whereas I think it's the most common reason. Just watching people like I'd watch TV, birds, wells, sunsets etc. Nothing to do with judging when I "stare".
Except that people are not tv. They are alive!
Ich lebe schon lange in Deutschland und kann deine Ansicht nachvollziehen. Nur, wenn man aus einem anderen Land kommt, muss man sich dran gewöhnen. Erst recht wenn es in anderen Europäischen Länder weniger vorkommt. Ich habe mich immer noch nicht dran gewöhnt, denn man gibt den angestarrten ein ganz unangenehmes Gefühl. Mann muss dazu in der Lage sein, sich in den anderen versetzen zu können.
In the States, we just yell to people staring, "Hey! Take a picture. It lasts longer!"
Isnt 't that the truth !!!! So funny.
:D
... We just stare... Then take a picture... . And then stare some more...
I say ,, will you pay me an abonament for the live tv?"
@@JOWISZIA we give a one dollar bill, take a picture.... and then stare some more.... 👁️👁️
Germany: I'm just here to observe.
To me It's like a game, I just stare back at people, the first person to look away loses the game. It's very hard to win against germans haha
French people would agree to your last sentece :D Yes.. Sorry bad joke.😁
same here
Yes im having a lot in germany for example we say prügeleien because of that game ye
@@Leon-gr2oo Probably a lot of Prügeleien with some we call it "scheiß Ausländer".
same here bud
This is so true. Germans just stare. Can't make small talk and they just awkwardly stare until you say something such as "do you like football?", to which they will reply "ja", and then just stare at you again 😂
hilarious.
I think Germans are trying to analyze the person they are staring at. It tells you how much they use their brains more. Instead of spewing some biases against that person, they try and think first before saying something.
@@DamnControl5 did you just make that up?
For most Germans it is not akward, because they try to make eye contact LOL
@@dustybrown4599 Germans are thinkers. Let me tell you that. They do not have so many Philosophers for nothing.
In New York staring at someone is sometimes a deathwish. True NewYorkers will never look at you for more than a second and I love that because you can do anything wear anything and it seems like no one is judging you (even if they are). Also some people get really angry at staring and they may try to fight you if you keep staring. Its considered extremely rude here.
It's mostly not out of judgement that Germans stare people. Mostly it's out of simple curiosity or interest in examining fellow humans in one's field of vision.
Same in London I would say. You don't stare, or look at people in the eyes. That said, behaviours are changing now that we wear face covering 👀
Sunisha Pamnani yea i get that but it definitely would weird me out 😭 i would think they’re staring because something is wrong with me or i have something on my face
Depends in what neighborhoods you go in NY. If you’re mostly in the city area people wont care. They might judging you. But if you step out to some of the outer boroughs people would stare and some might come up to you.
Raven238 if they stare its still policy to not stare back! You dont know who be in these streets.
I'm a college student from China. Staring is considered rude here and as a woman, I don't feel safe when I'm stared by men. But soon I'll be in Germany to continue my study. So it's really good to know this part of German culture! Thanks for the information!
It is still considerd rude in Germany, but it is maybe not considert as rude as in other countries. Also I know old people who do this more or less as an hobby.
Same in the U.S.
Oh yeah. People-watching is like a pastime for some people. And sometimes restaurant seating will be set up to have patrons facing street traffic, so that can result in more staring too, albeit briefly.
@@FireRupee Ah I see. Thank you for the info!
@@themeaningis4228 Thank you for the info ;)
This seems to me to be a big misunderstanding. I think there is a difference between staring and making eye contact, even if you don't communicate beyond that. In other countries people consciously look past each other, in Germany it is normal to look other people in the face, even if you do not speak to each other. When the feeling arises that you are beginning to "stare", you look away.
great comment :)
Exactly. "Crowd watching" is a thing usually in bigger cities all around the world. However looking directly into someone else's eyes is not. When I clicked, I thought they would be talking about " looking into the eyes of a stranger " which is really weird for us. non.germans.
I lived in Germany for 4 years. I have noticed when I catch someone staring they don’t look away and it’s unnerving. It definitely not a misunderstanding maybe in some instances . I never experienced anything like it.
@@AdrienneAli611 I think you have to deal with that when you live in Germany. Eye contact even among strangers is normal here and most often not meant badly. If it is, the looks are different. You also don't have the feeling of "staring" at the other person so quickly.
The problem is they don’t look away. That’s also why it’s called staring...
Wenn ich angestarrt wird, starre ich auch zurück! und dann beginnt die Schlacht des Starrens! xD
😂
المصرى معروف بجبروته فى اى حته😂😂😂
Ich mache genau das auch!!😅
Der Arzt : ازي عرفت انو مصري🤔؟
Kenn ich xd
As a black south african living in germany for 6 years, this was a culture shock for me, especially having lived half the time in smaller towns. I had to get used to it FAST. Im not someone who smiles a lot, but germany taught me how to smile, for various reasons. Be it in supermarket lines, trains, universty library etc, learning to smile can actually help you make friends or encourage ppl to have the courage to say/ask what is on their minds. Keep smiling and being nice, always. Dont pay any mind to older ppl. They are just curious. Someone told me to think of them as little kids. Smile a little, and a joke in the right situation can make a whole room laugh. Im mastering the moments, my gf unusually close and large extended family has given me lots of practice.
I'd say it's curiosity mostly, yeah. It might sound absurd to you, but there definitely are people (in the countryside) who have never seen a black person. Or seldom do. This is not an exaggeration. I'm not saying it's okay to make others feel uncomfortable, but I do think it's somewhat natural to look at things you're unfamiliar with. Smiling at them is a very mature response of you, and it should ease a lot of the tension. Most people don't mean harm.
👍 good strategy. Sounds for me likeable.
True that. I do stare a lot and catch people staring at me, too. If I smile at the people I am staring at (when I catch myself staring), it makes it kind of a friendly stare. I do smile at people staring at me to make it less awkward. It works every time.
“Smile and wave”… those penguins from Madagascar were onto something. My daughter (8 years old) loves to stare. We will be at the beach and she will lay down in the sand somewhere (sometimes even close to somebody) and stare. Just stare, totally unfazed. I am still undecided if that’s good or bad. For the most part I do think it is curiosity when people do it.
I'm a cosplayer and native german ... when I went to my first con in full costum using the tram people just where staring in an intensity I never experienced before. I smiled a bit nervous and an older lady suddenly asked: "Did you sew that all by yourself?" and I was SO HAPPY someone was just asking. We talked a lot and others joined in. It was very pleasend in the end. Smiling is the perfect way to react in most cases :D
In the Netherlands, when someone stares at you, you say to them: "Heb ik wat van je aan ofzo?" meaning something like "Am I wearing your clothes, or what?"
Hahaha I loved this one!
Only the Germans try to justify their controversial starring. In most nations, it is an invitation for trouble.
The Afrikaners are even more direct than their ancestors. They say 'moenie my skeef aankyk nie' don't look at me skew.
I just say: möchtest du ein Bild von mir?
@@premiumentertainment7911 "trying to justify our "controversial" staring"? 1. Where is it controversial? 2. Where are we trying to justify it? There simply are reasons why we stare, they're not excuses. Even if the reason is "no reason at all" xD
I am from Chile, but I have been in 19 countries so far, and I can definitely say that this is something very specific from germans. They do not look away if you stare back at them, and their expressions are not friendly when looking, maybe, sometimes, it is just curiosity and they do not mean it bad, but their face expression is so serious and intense, sometimes negative even, that is very easy to feel very uncomfortable. I think we just put decoration around it, but the truth is that they don't give 1 sh*t about the feelings of that person. LOL.
Indeed!
I wouldn't have guessed. In some of the rural areas it's common to greet everyone that you walk or bike past but not in the cities. I really like this so I definitly greet everyone when im taking a walk in proximity of my house even though it's in a town were it's not common. It just feels good to spread some positivity like that. But farely often I will encounter people who will desperately avoid looking in your direction. They are twenty meters away and suddenly get very interested in the plants at the side of the path and stare at them until you walk past. And I have heard many people say that we Germans have natural social anxiety. I would say that most people don't look at anyone on the bus or in general. I don't understand this. It makes the world feel lonely and cold. I'm happy to see other people and I don't stare at them if it seems they seem irritated by it.
My everyday in Berlin. But then I say “Hallo“ and they just melt in a very warm and smiling “Tschüßiiiii“
@@christopherstein2024 Yes, It could be Just embarrassent between greeting and non greeting. A modern Hamlet Thing since we lost the etiquette of mechanically greeting everyone we meet (just in order to establish a safety zone)
Inge described it perfectly. I feel the same. Even when I'm being started, I try to make a movement with my head to say "Hi" and Germans don't react. They just keep looking without any expression, they don't respond to "hi" with head movement. Feels very rude
It's more "people watching" than staring really. Not personal at all. Totally out of curiosity and interest in "figuring out" fellow humans. It has to be one of the most favourite German hobbies.
There is „looking” and just plain ”intensively staring” 😉
So true.
Crowd watching is something else. Looking directly into a stranger's eyes is another thing. The latter is not common in most other countries.
@@keptins thats called making eye contact
@@karinland8533 no thats called staring into someones eyes without their knowing . And thats creepy.
As a German, I want you all to know, that at least for me, when I stare at somebody it's either accidental or because of something positive - you have a cute dog, I like your fashion style, you're very pretty, etc etc. I don't think I've stared at people for something "negative", at least not that I remember.
I was visiting in the Indian part of town and didn't realise that I was gawking (never mind staring!) It was so fascinating! The clothes, the people the shop fronts. I was very embarrassed when someone called me out on my staring, since veiled people probably hate being stared at even more. Around here, rude behaviour can't be excused by saying: "I meant no harm." .
You Germans always relativise or deny any criticism of you, especially if it is made by a foreigner "who does not understand German culture". You think you are superior to the rest but you're just uncivilized
Humans… 😂… being offended by a non physical act that does nothing but absorb the lightpatterns that is reflected by them. Aliens would be confused af
Aha... Ist bei so ziemlich jedem Tier genau so (anstarren = offensiv)und Menschen sind auch nur Tiere. Das ist einfach natürlicher Instinkt, der in uns drin ist. Bist halt wahrscheinlich selbst ein Starrer und versuchst es dir selbst zu rechtfertigen :). Aliens, wenn sie Augen haben, werden genau so drauf sein.
@@felixpitscheneder1172 Staring is not just looking at something. Staring is building no communication, no smiling etc. When you look curiously at something, and smile and maybe ask a nice question most people will not be offended. But coming into a store, and just staring, without saying something, greeting etc., that is considered rude.
4:33 "Ja, doch... doch... doch, schon... doch... doch" made me laugh I don't know why
Me too 😄 He sounds funny 😁
I'm a quiet, tolerant person but one day I just lost it while being stared at. My husband and I had been seated in a restaurant near another couple. As soon as we sat down this couple stopped their conversation and *both of them* did Janusch's *open-mouthed* stare at us. Like, they'd never seen a human being before. It was so rude I yelled at the lady, "Was willst du von mir!" and that stopped the staring. My husband was shocked speechless but then later told me my criticism of others will be taken more seriously if I use Sie instead of Du. *lol* Natuerlich hat er recht.
Hahahahah, omg
@M.H. I am learning german and that's one of the first things that i learnt that i cant say it that way lol
@M.H. I'm from India and is currently learning A1 Level Deutsch since I'm applying for a German university for my bachelor's program
@@sosanko6296 good luck on learning and for your studies! I too am learning and hope to study in Switzerland 🇨🇭 😊
@@jomana1109 good luck for both of you! 😇
I am a Dane and we go to great length to not stare at each other in public. WhenI go to Germany I keep thinking: "What are they staring at??" My favourite way of dealing with it, is pretending that I am famous, and that people stare, because they recognise me. 😁 😎 🤣
Me too. I'm Mexican but that's not part of the culture to just stare without saying anything. I had people in Germay stare at me but I assumed the same thing. Maybe I'm a celebrity and they thing I'm sexy
In Russia, staring is a communicative gesture which may mean domination, flirt or curiosity depending on who's watching and when. If you are caught staring at someone, hope they got your motives right, haha. Kudos to authors, by the way! The video went quite entertaining and educative.
I got stared at by Russian girl once. She didnt look away when I caught her staring at me from behind. She's so beautiful but I wasnt sure wheather I should feel flattered or annoyed. I just couldnt stop thinking maybe she felt threatened by me.
@@antonguna1 It's quite hard to scare or threaten a Russian so I think it was you chance to build an international connection, haha. Next time don't be shy to give lady a smile or so. :)
Yes it's a great video and a good subject to talk about
Moscow metro was created for starring at each other
I love this russian staring because it is so thrilling for the exact reasons you wrote: domination, flirt or interest/curiosity in one stare and as a foreigner you do not know what it truly is and even if you think you know you always have this gut felling you never will truely know. But maybe I am just too positive about it because I always had the most exciting flirts with russians during holidays 😂
I wish I had seen this when I first came to Germany, as it was one of the things that bothered me the most. At first I thought I must somehow stand out, maybe people can tell I'm from somewhere else or I'm just very weird or smth like that. Then I thought it must be my anxiety or my sensitivity making me experience this so intensely and I still think it partially explains it, but then I noticed the difference when travelling to other countries. The thing is, it's not just something that happens once in a while, like let's say one person stares at you because they think you're weird and then another because they like you and so on, singular cases and it s not a stare with intention if that makes sense. It's more like a general dumb staring (I do not mean this in an offensive way), an unconscious habit. There is generally no change in expression, no sign of actually noticing you, neither smiling nor frowning, that s why I think it s probably unconscious, maybe it's a way of scanning the environment, making sure there is no danger. I don't know. I do feel this whenever I leave the house more or less and did not notice much difference between parts of the country. It s probably a cultural thing and so be it, maybe it has some deeper explanation, it just feels really good to have this validated when I thought for so long it was only in my head.
I am an American who has been living in Germany for ten years. I noticed this “phenomenon” since my first visit. I found it very disconcerting and off putting. I have spoken to my german friends about it many times and complained to my german partner often. He told me he wasn’t even aware of it. I came eventually to realize that it is a cultural norm with no meaning. What I find interesting is that it makes me so uncomfortable, nervous, and sometimes even angry. A few times in the early years I even spontaneously stuck my tongue out at these “zombies”. What you touched on goes to the core of it: one is being starred at with unbroken eye contact but there is no expression, no greeting, no smile, no interest-it feels creepy! [Well to an American anyway.] I am a friendly person and often say “hello” or “hi” when passing a stranger but if I do that here I often get the stare and my greeting falls to the ground like a stone, utterly unacknowledged, leaving me feeling awkward and invisible. With that said, most all of the many germans I have met have been very kind, friendly and generous. Ich liebe Deutschland 🇩🇪❤️
Well, as a German often watching people just to kinda observe them I can tell you that it's considerd pretty strange here to say "hi" to strangers. You only greet people you know or strangers you want to start a conversation with/ask them a question. I am always very confused if somone is actually talking to me. Mostly people just stare back for a while or completely ignore you. Anyway, you probably both do know by now, that staring mostly is eather cause of curiosity or just to check what's going on. So please don't take it personal.
@@clieding I'm an American also, from the South to boot, so like you I often say hi or smile to total strangers if we happen to look at each other as we walk by one another and I'd say it's very, very rare that the greeting isn't returned. I can see why not getting a response would make you feel the way you do, especially if you're the one being stared at and you made the attempt to acknowledge them in a friendly manner. So, in cases like those, is the polite thing to play eye chicken, (stare back neutrally without speaking until one of you looks away first) or to just ignore it.....? This is all very interesting!
@@garitica3365 Greetings! Are you also living in Germany or are you learning the language? I have never been to the South but ya’ll have the reputation of being very open, warm, friendly and hospitable. Germans are in general also this way but just not in public. I come from Hawaii 🌺 where people are extremely casual, open and friendly. That is the reason it is called the “Aloha” state. It is hard not to be happy when one is living in heaven on earth! Thank you for responding to my comment. “Aloha” 🌴and “‘auf Wiedersehen”🌲👋🏼
@@clieding Aloha! Heaven on earth indeed! I've never been to Hawaii, but I've had co-workers from there and they've been the friendliest and coolest people ever. So laid-back and happy. I've never been to Germany either (I don't count connecting through the Munich airport as "visiting" LOL) but an ice age ago, in high school, I took 3 years of it and loved it. Sadly, I didn't keep the momentum going, but I do what I can to try to learn a little more when the opportunity arises. Thanks for such glowing praise for us Southerners. We talk to EVERYONE, whether we know each other or not. LOL I've had entire conversations at the grocery store or the mall with folks that I'll probably never see again. It's just the way many of us are. We're a bunch of Chatty Cathys. ;)
Ich bin gebürtige Belgierin, habe aber 12 Jahre in Deutschland gelebt. Mir ist das Starren nie aufgefallen, aber ich interpretiere Starren auch nicht als etwas Unanständiges. Wir gucken hier ständig den Leuten hinterher, manchmal urteilend, manchmal verwundert, manchmal mit Bewunderung. Ganz normal....wir sind halt Menschen, und lächeln ist immer die beste Reaktion😄
Also in Belgien würde ich ja ständig Pommes Frites anstarren. :D Das hat dann ganz und gar keine negativen Gründe!
Top Antwort!
I'm an English guy and I'm glad to live in Germany where looking at someone (briefly) is not seen as provocation or harassment. I think anyone indulging is just feeding their eyes, I don't feel bad when people watch me and I hope I don'e cause that feeling in others.
I think it's the length of stare which is important. It's ok to look at someone, then look away, look again etc. But if that person makes eye contact with you, and you just continue staring without blinking or looking away, then that's when it goes too far (except for in Germany).
@@shaunmckenzie5509 It's definitely not acceptable in Germany but most people just don't care too much. When I notice someone staring at me I will stare back and raise my eyebrows or wave.
When I was a young man ,19 years old and in the U.S. Army, I was stationed in Fulda. I do not ever recall being stared at. However , when I visited the village my family came from, Hirrlingen,buy Tubbingen, BadenWurttemberg , I did notice that the people stared quite a bit. Mostly because I dressed like an American. I think it was because they did not see many Americans in their little town. I did however adopt the clothing stile of the German people so as to fit in better. My time in Germany was indeed a wonderful time in my life,having the opportunity to meet great aunts, onkels, cousins that I had only seen in photos. I'm writing this in English because I have a very hard time reading and writing Deutsch. I am still able to speak a little Deutsch ,it being Swabian. As I have gotten older, I'm now 74, I do stare. It may be because as things that catch your eye, such as a mother holding her baby so lovingly. Then seeing a man or woman covered with tatoos and piercings. Everyone is unique in their own way. Diversity in appearance , it makes us want to look and sometimes stare because it's different than you or me. As for" Easy German" I enjoy watching and staring because you present your subject mater so well,so enjoyable. Keep this wonderful channel going. Thank you Cari and Janusz. Rember, wherever you go inthe world, people will stare. .It"s human nature and not exclusive to Germans.
Danke John, I've lived in the USA for a few years and never said anyone to me, you stare and I never noticed a differenc between gernans and Americans, in this point. But the young men, in the USA locked more at me, whistle and called somthing out at me. So for me German men are more reserved than American guys.
I'm from China and have been living in Germany for about one year. I've noticed the people here stare at me more often than in China, which I can completely understand. It's not because they like staring, but it's just a human nature that people stare at someone or something relatively rare or unusual. Mir ist das kein Problem, obwohl ich das manchmal nicht so angenehm finde.
Das kann ich gut verstehen. Ich bin Deutsche, aber mir ist das auch oft unangenehm.
Before I visited Deutschland last year, this, above all the "warnings" and information that I got from others, was the one thing I didn't believe. I assumed that the people who thought this, they had to be wrong. They had to be simply too self-conscious. Wrong. It's true. You will be stared at. No matter how normal, no matter how much you blend in. They stare at people. Thanks for the great content. Keep up the good work. בס״ד
You look like an orthodox priest
I'm not a foreigner in Germany but I like to wear extravagant clothes. Sometimes people would stare on some days I mind , on some days I don't. On the days when I mind i would sometimes think twice if i really want to go outside like that.
Germans may be starring, but in Romania, ppl look into your soul 😞
wow
Oof!
hmm. dunno about that. They probably just have a more piercing kind of stare
Or are they trying to figure out your blood type (vampires)?
@@pbtube58 they are very curious 💁🏻♂️
Once I was with my German girlfriend in Brazil and she started staring at a glass of juice from a table next to us. The girl in the other table noticed my girlfriend was staring at something, but didn't realize it was the juice, so the girl started checking her clothes and the table to see if there was anything strange around her 😂
Staring at juice! XD Yes, I guess I do it too. Or other yummy stuff.
I think its funny that so many people say they don't notice it, but are able to maintain a very strong and direct eye contact - which is uncommon in other countries. I really like these videos because they explore a lot of different cultural aspects that I never consciously thought about. Thanks.
It took me a long time to understand why staring in Germany was so different than in any other country I’ve experienced. One day it suddenly occurred to me that they’re not only staring but also looking you directly in the eye which is especially unnerving - and with a look somewhat akin to when a parent scolds a child. Looking someone in the eye is acceptable and probably considered sincere in Germany but will get you in trouble in many other places.
In the Balkans, stare at someone like that, they will knock you out cold.
@@cultmamacultmama3571 What is considered as "staring"? 1-2seconds looking at someones face to see if you know that person? Or like 5-15seconds or more looking at someone?
@@photographychannel3875 1-2 seconds is not staring that's a casual glance. 4-5 seconds is.
That sounds like either you did something that displeased the Germans (like not following rules) or they are creeps
It's basically part of commuciating to strangers. I have noticed your presence and am willing to engange in contact with you, should that be desired or necessary. To us, it's considered rude to adress someone unless we feel they should be aware of us, and the initial eye-stare is the mark of this basic awareness.
Also I like that guy with the hat who said it’s normal to stare at strangers at the subway when you have nothing else to do and said others abroad do it too. No! Haha it’s very German! Here people avoid staring at others and especially eye contact like death, they stare at their phones even if they’re not doing anything
"Here"?
I honestly prefer the concept of looking people in the eye instead of looking at the phone, pretending to do anything. In some cases, if the person isnt anxious, he/she responds with a smile 😊
Well, I saw the same in Ireland, Northern Ireland and Scotland. You kinda watch people for lack of something better to do. If they frown you smile and the situation dissolves.
It's more a European thing. People in Germany and other European countries hold eye-contact a little bit longer than people in anglophone countries, it's basically just a split second but enough to make people incredibly uncomfortable. It's similar to the differences in perception when it comes to personal space. Actually staring at people for a minute or so is of course considered rude in most countries, including Germany. It still happens but I only experience it rarely and it's always old women doing the staring.
@@hansmahr8627 I'm a guy and worked for years at a place in New York City where millions of tourists go every year. We all had the experience of German guys standing twice as close when talking to us! Another social norm like staring that Germans are on one end of the typical spectrum. (It's all fine with me.)
Freu mich das Sie haben dieses tema nimmt, ich komme aus Norwegen und hier sterren wir auch ganz viele :)
another great video- you guys are wonderful
Er det sant? 🤔
Gjør vi det? Har jeg aldri tenkt over 😅
i lived 5 years in peru and they stare often at me too, so that is in every country the same...
I'm German and I never thought of this problem. And I noticed that even I might "stare" a lot too. For the most part I just like observing people or my surroundings as a way of curing boredom while waiting for someone. And it's also a great way to learn something about the people around you, because the way people dress and act tell a lot about them, which is just interesting to me. Though Its never meant to judge anybody or make them uncomfortable. I always try to not stare people in the face, but maybe even my looking drifts into creepy staring sometimes. So maybe us Germans should just work on staring less obviously, because it really is a weird habit if you think about.
I like your self awareness and lack of defensiveness.
I have noticed that people in Germany look at you longer than say, the UK where I'm from. What's interesting is that in Germany, or rather, Berlin (I've visited other places in Germany where people look at you but they typically say Hallo), they look at you and keep an expressionless face. I've never been bothered by it, actually, it's just a bit odd to me. As a Brit, I always smile at someone who catches my eye (or look away if I'm nervous) - but here they remain expressionless even after I've smiled at them. That's the part that surprises me the most. It used to bother me but now I've become (almost) used to it. I don't feel like the stares in Berlin are due to judgement, revulsion, or even intrigue or attraction - I think they're just part of normal life.
Your comment is so relatable, Fabienne Lang. I think people are just curious and Germans are not afraid to show it.
@@lmd3556 It's just rude.
It differs much in other regions. Here we seek eyecontact when meeting and smile. I think it could be, because we want to know the poeple when they enter our "flight distance".
Best german youtube channel ever nice job Cari and Janusz greetings from Washington State ♥️♥️♥️
Yes! Omg! And when I mentioned it to Germans they were like no we don’t do it or said that everyone does it as much. But I’ve never been stared down as much in any other country. With men I didn’t know if they wanted to kill me or they were into me but in the end I realised they’re just German and they just stare it’s not personal.
Or maybe they want to have a staring contest with you :D I've experienced the same thing from a German boss and thought I was in trouble or messed something up but it's just people watching I think.
I think most Germans are completely unaware the difference to other countries when it comes to starring. It begins with the very definition of starring. What is called starring in other countries is just called looking in German. The word starring in German means an extreme prolonged and intensive glance. Germans then swear they don't “stare“, because they don't think you also mean the totally normal “looking at people“, which almost counts as a leisure activity (chairs in cafe's are pointed to the street to give you a better view!). I remember when I was younger there was this (kinda racist) stereotype that migrants are aggressiv bc they will come at you for no reason to start a fight and will then say “why are starring at me?!“ Looking back, this seems a classic cultural misunderstanding with Germans not realizing they being actually offensive and others not realizing that offence happened unintentional.
but sometimes there are stares that are so uncomfortable that it feels like they saying "why are your here in germany?"
@@itsmevanny I stare if I think people are beautiful ❤ I think you might get stares because you are pretty! 😊
@@itsmevanny In many regions of Germany there is also something called a tadelnder Blick (reprimanding stare), if a person is acting rude, disregards the rules/law or causing trouble in public, then they will be stared down by others. An example: if you’re having a loud conversation in public transportation then instead of someone saying „excuse me could you please speak more quietly“ germans will instead start to stare at you until you get the „hint“. If you’re new to Germany and therefore don’t know the unspoken rules of society then you might not get the „hint“, therefore the starring will continue. Learning what is considered polite and what rude in Germany is difficult since most Germans you interact with will not inform you if you’re acting rude, as that is considered rude.
The difference isn't that they stare, everyone looks at other people. It's that there are many people in Germany that stare at you, notice that you saw them staring at you, and then keep staring, without smiling or any kind of acknowledgement, which is super uncomfortable and seems confrontational in many cultures. It's polite if someone looks back at you to smile and acknowledge them.
You describe it very well. If you smile at them to break the tension or say "hello" - they do not smile back or even acknowledge you, they just keep staring like the Children of the Damned. Hellish freaky!
But they don’t smile man. I ended up unintentionally in 10 to 15 second staredowns with guys. They stare and when I catch them they keep going and then I have to keep going and then it’s a stare down for dominance and I have to beat them, but it’s very uncomfortable because I don’t like to stare but have no choice to assert dominance
Almost 30 years ago I visited Germany and Switzerland. I got stared at by a woman on a train. I think she was amused because I was anxious about exiting the train at the correct stop. I’ll say I was pleasantly surprised with the eye contact I experienced in passing. That meant to me that people were secure, self-confident and interested in others. It felt welcoming.
That's a very optimistic way to think about it. 👍🏻
I never realized that people would be staring in Germany..and I live in Berlin🙄 I mean I may have noticed that people make eye contact in the street more often, but I took it as a positive sign that they are not only looking at their steps, but noticing fellow citizens..different perceptions I guess😃
Get a tan, dye your hair black and you will get a different experience
Bori, comparatively with other countries Germans really do stare. Often they are not aware about and it is not ment with an aggressive intention.
@@allenfalls9172 I'm sure, but often it's just curiosity and not meant to offend
@@allenfalls9172 There's staring out of curiosity or casual "people watching" and there's staring out of prejudice, disapproval or intimidation.
❤️
I’ve been in Germany for 2 years now and sometimes people, especially older people, will stare at me for no apparent reason (like once a guy on a bike turned his head to look back lol!) At first I used to feel pretty insecure and worried (is there something on my face? Is my shirt on inside out? Can people see my darkest fears? Is it me as a person!?) But I generally look pretty unthreatening, and I’ve gone from feeling really self-conscious about being stared at to just smiling mildly back. A light questioning eyebrow raise usually conveys a “hmm? Anything wrong?” quite nicely and then they stop lol. Most people usually look away as soon as / a few seconds after your gazes directly meet. (I will say, this was in small-town Bavaria, I don’t know if it works in big cities or not....) In a way it really trained me to be more confident. I grew up in countries where politeness rules like small talk and the concept of “face” are very important. In Taiwan or in the UK, people only break rules to stare at someone if there’s something extremely uncommon, like perhaps an accident is happening, and even then people tend to keep their heads down. In Taiwan you can hear parents scolding their kids, “don’t stare/point at people, it’s rude to stare!”, it’s even a trope in comics and shows sometimes. Coming to Germany certainly gave me new perspective on just owning the way I look. This is coming from a European-Asian person who usually gets profiled as Asian in Germany, however. I’m sure the experiences will be very different depending on the person so I’m curious to hear more.
When I moved to Berlin I used to have the same type of thoughts in the U-Bahn (do I have something in my face? Is anything wrong with my hair? - I'm almost bald so go figure...) Now I don't notice it anymore, and I think I stare as much as the average Berliner.
same experience in a Bavarian village hahaha
@Jakov Bulajevic haha I have tried it already! Although a lawyer told me you can get a fine for showing the middle finger in germany.... 😂
That's because people in Taiwan are super polite, unlike the other China.
@@knueppeldick Ha! Maybe more like people in Japan. Both island countries! I live in a mainly Asian, and they are mainly mainland Chinese, in Brooklyn NY. They are generally quite well behaved!
I'm Brazilian so I usually give a friendly smile to those who are staring at me. I believe that is best to try to make their day brighter and let their curiosity flows instead of getting into a trouble for humans tendencies and cultural differences.
Thank you, that makes me feel happy. I´m from Austria (a little bit different from German culture, but almost the same culture, that they have in the south of Germany) and I really love to look at beautiful people. Sometimes I catch myself staring, but then I imediately look away when I realize it. I grew up in a tiny village and I remember that my grandmother allways told me, that I have to greet people (I didn´t like it, because I was very shy^^) and my mother told me, that I have to greet friendly and smile. When I was living in Salzburg (one of the capital cities of Austria) I just greeted people in my neighbourhood and often walked thru the streets and started an experiment by smiling at people which seemed to be depressive or angry and then watch how the sun goes up in their faces as they were confronted with a smiling person. Keep smiling =)
it really does
Is good to finally find out that this is normal in Germany. I went to Berlin with my husband, he is British and I am Mexican, and I felt people were staring at me so much. It was crazy, even on a red light, people on vehicles were staring and continued even when the traffic light changed to green; it was so much that was ridiculous. Also, a man yelled at me for no reason, and in conclusion, these experiences made my holiday in Berlin the worst. I remember even crying in the streets because of how uncomfortable it was making me feel. Hahah I wish I knew this earlier, and maybe I wouldn't have taken it so personally. 😅
Judging by your user pic, you look rather attractive, that could be the reason......
Hallo,Cari & Janus Sie haben ein ganz interessantes Thema ausgewählt. Aber hier in Sri lanka das findet man ganz anders. Für die Deutschen wird das wie ein "Kulturschock". Bei uns anstarrt man ganz oft und das ist wie eine freundliche und angenehme Begrüßung ,wenn man sich unterwegs trifft. Hier wird man oft angestarrt. Besonders wenn man ein Ausländer sieht. Mit einem lachenden Anstarren sagt man " Hallo oder herzlich willkommen " so was ähnliches. Wenn man hier so was nicht akzeptiert, das findet man sehr unhöflich... Aber als ich paarmal in Deutschland war,habe ich das vermieden, weil ich mehr mal gemerkt, dass die Deutschen so was komisch und unangenehm finden. Sie schauen immer weg oder werfen einen wütenden Blick zurück.... Andere Länder andere Sitten !!!! Alles Gute ! Saveen
Dann warst du sicher nie in der Pfalz :D ... Tatsächlich variiert das sehr von Region zu Region. Bin zB aus der Pfalz weggezogen und weiter nördlich waren die Leute auf einmal deutlich reservierter und auch anfangs ablehnender. Das war ne harte Umstellung für mich. Erst nach 1-2 Wochen wo man sich sieht, tauen die Leute hier auf. In der Pfalz allerings kann man mit einem charmanten Lächeln und einem Blick so einige Unterhaltungen lostreten. Vor allem mit älteren Leuten (wenn auch nicht mit allen) ... Ich kann nur empfehlen, eine ablehnende Reaktion nicht persönlich zu nehmen. In der Regel hat das tatsächlich nichts mit dir als Person zu tun, oftmals fühlen sich andere dann einfach ertappt und ärgern sich über sich selbst. Passiert.
Oh god, the black guy with the black headband is so handsome and has a nice smile ;)
Wafaa Osman with cute dimples :3
He thinks people stare because of his skin color, but I bet 99%, that's not the reason... Only if he knew! Bless him.
I hope that he can check the comments to get the truth of what the real reason of staring at him
haha I was thinking the same thing, people stare at him only cuz he's so gorgeous!
@@magusl9628 We know when we're being stared at because of our skin lol
As a german, i love staring. It's not a judging thing or somehow negative. It's Just real interest to other people. I think the problem is, that germans don't smile, when they stare. It's a good way, to combine staring and smiling.
starren und lachelnd ... das klingt gut 😊
Dont just stare open up and talk Your wierd culture only make people run away which on the end will give Germany a very bad reputation and that's why Arbeitskräfte mangel and people don't wanna work in Germany, because germans make it all about Germany and germans and I mean germans by ethnic Olaf sholz is best for Germany
Janusz’s face when he stares! Too funny!
The more I think about it, I more and more seem to like that. Don't be robots, be social. Realize each other.
staring is pretty anti-social
@@ajrwilde14 why?
@@karinbirkenbihl2053It's one way traffic. It's not done to connect with someone, but for purely internal reasons.
It's very interesting that they're aware of their staring habit. I had very uncomfortable experiences of being stared in Germany and I never thought they were aware of their behaviour.
its part of the culture, its not seen as rude, nor is it a "habit" and i tell you most people just watch other people. its just general interest, and as it is not considered rude (i mean there is a limit, even to germans, it is just higher) if you do it. i dont go to other countries and tell people that what they are doing is rude just because it would be considered rude in my country. because thats what almost everyone in this comment section does, and that is rude and bold aswell.
@@marsone5023 according to who? the one i saw said germany is fourth after russia uk and topping the list france. so what do these countries do worse than germany? they dont stare do they? so what point are you making? he said that inside germanys culture this isnt meant in a rude way, thats all. no list disproves this.
I have been feeling this deep discomfort in Germany since eight years… So glad you made a video on this topic. I suppose there is much more behind staring, especially, within the context of Germany. I find that if some of it comes from curiosity (which is rarely accompanied with a smile, but is mostly just a serious or even unfriendly look), then the rest (or majority) of such staring is actually judgement. I find that most Germans in general are judgmental to anything different or unknown. I feel really uncomfortable walking on the street, this staring culture made me really self-conscious, and I put mental effort not to notice that people are staring or they have to absolutely look you in the eye as they pass you by. Why? I find the anglophone culture in this sense much more polite and respectful of privacy and other people’s comfort zone.
Self esteem is king germans are known for saying rude things to others or tell everyone what they think is wrong etc and nearly never say something positive ... there is a german saying nicht geschimpft ist genug gelobt aka not being scolded is praised enough ...and personal space is very small until you tell others to stay away and back up a bit ... before corona it was normal that other peoples breath was so close you could feel it in the super market and simply state that you need more room for yourself or ask the other person if there is something intresting about you or why are they looking sometimes you meat new people this way because we have no shame in staring but we never engulf in conversations with strangers aka smaltalk with strangers ... very often it starts with sie sind mir schon öffters aufgefallen und ich dachte mir oder ich habe sie schon öffters gesehn so people acknowledge that they have seen each other multiple times and that they decided to start a conversation to see if the other person has seen them as well and maybe they get to know each other
Even though beeing German I can relate to what you write very well. If I look at people I am ready to share a smile or also look away depending on situation but many people here just stare without any more interaction which always gives me a feeling of overwhelming and unecessary competition. Its actually sad, but not sure how to help it. But you are not alone in this also by people who live and grew up here
its part of the culture, its not seen as rude, and i tell you most people just watch other people. its just general interest, and as it is not considered rude (i mean there is a limit, even to germans, it is just higher) if you do it. there are negative preconceptions about americans and brits aswell and ive seen them confirmed them when i travelled. but i dont go to their country and tell them that what they are doing is rude just because it would be considered rude in germany. because thats what almost everyone in this comment section does, and that is rude and bold aswell.
I've been feeling this way since arriving 3 years ago, this comment and others here made me feel less alone with it, thank you 😄
What's wrong with looking people in the eyes when you walk by? I do it all the time, sometimes you nod or say hi. Pretending that people don't exist around me just seems kind of sad and unfriendly. I feel like I look like a thug when people desperately avoid looking at me.
I love how you include subtitles in both english and german.
We don't stare, we simply refuse to look away! (-;
My Austrian co-worker came to the US for training several years ago, and during a lesson, he turned to look at me and starred for several seconds without saying anything or making any facial expression. I had no idea what he was doing so I just raised my eyebrows at him. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if the eyebrow raise has a universal meaning, lol.
Yeah, let's just say you invited him to have some fun in the restroom.
@@Goingby20s Haha, is that what raising eyebrows means to you?
@@riflemanm16a2it sure is, let's go? Lol
@@Goingby20s I'm just here to say I support you two and I want an invite to the wedding
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m an American living in Berlin and at first it was weird how long Germans would hold eye contact and then I realized I’m the weird one, that for some reason has been conditioned to not look people in the eye for more than 1.5 seconds. Now I really love that about Germans. They might not be the first one to smile at you, but if you say something friendly, make a joke or just smile, you’ll find Germans are good natured people.
German here. I stare at others and usually wonder what their life is like and stuff. I mean, life began sooooo long ago and every choice our ancestors and we made landed us right there in this moment and spot. Its sooo interesting. Or I just zoned out bc of my ADS.
When I go home people ask me if I have faced any racism in Germany and I just say "no one has said anything to me but... everyone just STARES a lot!" So this is a great video!! Ein wichtiges Thema!!
Germans :- stares for a long time. Indians :- Are you challenging me ?
Chinese: hold my chopsticks
Dubai: do u need help ?
As an Indian i have never seen Indian staring at each other, they probably stare at complete foreigners especially the ones with cameras because of curiosity that they might be making some show
We stare at foreigners a lot, it's a problem. Many feels uncomfortable, while I don't do it ,I hope my fellow Indians would stop doing it.
Wonderful material! I'm glad to find this channel! The double subtitles are very useful!
I have lived in Norway, England, Danmark, Canada, USA, Sweden, Austria, South Africa, and Germany. Nowhere -- NOWHERE -- is the staring anything like in Germany. Every time I come to Germany, I am shocked all over again. I always warn my friends (who don't already know) that they should be aware of this phenomenon of the German culture. It is a BIG topic of conversation for people who have lived in multiple countries and can compare German staring with other cultures (where it is fairly universally considered rude). When in Germany, don't discuss money, sickness, or death -- and don't be shocked at the strangers who will stare at you on the train, tram, or bus.
Am unangenehmsten ist es aus einem Tagtraum aufzuwachen und zu merken dass man jemanden angestarrt hat xd
Das ist mir auch schon passiert. Habe mich dann gewundert, wie lange die andere Person da schon steht.
thank you for making these videos... german (the language) and german people seem a lot more approachable and friendly now. you make the language seem learnable and less intimidating. i really thank you for that! please keep it up.
In the UK, it is incredibly rude to stare. We are taught from a young age never to do this, as it can come across as very judgemental and be unnerving for the other person. I guess if you are crushing on someone you may find it impossible not to stare, but that's probably the only time it would be considered remotely OK.
In America, it's an act of war. Fond memories of the NYC methehead gladiatorial pits. . .
well in germany it is not. you dont manouver your stare around people like in other countries, it is not meant to be rude, its just part of watching the environment.
In big cities like London, people don't stare at all.. because everyone is trying to be as considerate of others as possible, and respect and protect what very little private sphere you have left (for example if you're on a crowded underground train, I love that people don't stare, it allows you to maintain a small sense of privacy) there is also something called 'attention fatigue' the exhaustion you feel from constantly having eyes on you
Staring in Germany is not overall accepted, but people don‘t care. I accept maybe the „zoning out“ kind of staring, but it is often judgemental. Especially from conservative people who want you to fit in. But it is a big issue if you want to find out if the stare is meant friendly or not: you need to stare back to find out. And if you don‘t like staring, you maybe feel embarrassed by staring yourself. (And if people don‘t stare back, nobody who stares learns how it is to be stared at)
@@merlinbeats428merlin2 lie
as a jamaican guy living in munich, this can get really overwhelming. its the same in poland.
I didn’t notice anyone staring in Poland, think it’s completely different in Poland
I'm a Dutch Canadian. But I'm very interested in German culture. Our family is German, but in the 1500s we moved to the north of the Netherlands. Thank you for showing me the quirks and features of German society. Keep doing it! 🙂
I'm from Brazil, staring at people is uncomfortable for us. I mean, in some places that behavior is common and usually men are staring at women and that is uncomfortable.
Do you think? I'm from Brazil too. When I was in Germany, I didn't notice that people were staring at me. I thought that was because in Brazil the people stares a lot too. But maybe is just because I'm okay with that.
Makes sense if you mean Brazil since Brazil's crime rates are very high.
@@leticialippel5114 I'm Brazilian, from Sao Paulo and would say here people definately avoid staring, unless in a party scene to flirt, but even then it would be done more casually. Im ust say though that the German way seem does have its pros, living in a large city and just trying to avoid looking too much into people all the time is tiring sometimes. Also sometimes even in ambiences where it would make conversation easier, I feel like people avoid having too much eye contact, it does make me a little anxious for sure, though not as much as before.
This is so true in my experience! After moving to Germany, one of this first things I learned to say in German was, "Bitte starren Sie mich nicht so an." 😂
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I'm a tall, black woman with dreadlocks, so almost everywhere I go people stare at me as if I were a parade float LOL, but it happens considerably more here in Germany. It's annoying, so now I've had to just turn it into something funny and laugh every time they stare, or I just stare back.
hello sexy
You have very admirable self-confidence!
In meiner Heimatland, Japan, werden viele Frauen mit großen Brüsten oder sommerlicher Kleidung (von fremden Männern sehr oft angeguckt und ich finde es wirklich ärgerlich 😡 Sie haben ja gar keinen Respekt vor uns, sondern hält uns einfach für die schöne Figur oder Sexdolls. Oder viele Touristen, Leute, die ausländische Herkunft haben, haben genauso solches Problem. Aber die meiste Menschen finden dieses Verhältnis ganz „normal“... Ich wohne jetzt in kleinem Dorf in Deutschland und bemerke bis heute gar keine merkwürdige Starre, obwohl ich Ausländer und Frau bin. Ich bin so glücklich hier zu sein.
Wow! Your German ist fantantisch!
nicholas schroeder Awww Thank you!
@@nymnym1236 And I just assumed your English would be too.😏🇧🇪🇺🇸🇯🇵
nicholas schroeder hehe 😜 No one knows... !
@@nymnym1236 I do...you can even joke well in it. Sorry, you gave it away. Anyway, I'm impressed and glad you like Germany. My parents are from Bayern. I learned some as a kid, but I'm no where near as good. Love to visit Japan. I took a semester, got As, but forgot it all. Language is a skill that has to be practiced
I noticed when I was in Berlin people didn't hide if they were staring. My friends and I would be drawing in galleries/museums and people would walk past openly staring, whereas, in the UK people people try to hide when they're trying to look at what you're drawing in public. I actually had a father and his child stand next to me in Berlin watching me draw for a good few minutes and even talking about what I was drawing, too. Which has never happened at all in the UK for me. It didn't bother me so much since I was drawing and I didn't really notice any staring at any other point, but I don't really pay that much attention.
It's not only German thing I live in the Netherlands and here there stare too
Maybe it's a northern Europe thing, or a German type culture thing. The Netherlands has a lot in common with Germans. Even the language. Whatever language they speak on "Professor T", which is from Antwerp, I hear German or almost German words all the time.
Yeah it is a central-northern european thing expect britain. Germany maybe tend to be be a little bit extra but germany also has a way bigger population.
I'm German and the most funny starring "incident" happend to me in Botswana (Africa). I''m tattooed and white and went to a supermarket in a rather rural area of Botswana. The whole supermarket came to stare at me. I'm not kidding. Even the cashiers left their checkout to have a glimpse at me. People were pointing at me and they lift up their children to see me. I was flattered, to be honest. Don't see a problem here.
I lived in Germany for 4 years. I can honestly say it doesn't matter what your skin color, what clothes you wear, what color your hair is, Germans are going to stare at you. It is simply a part of the culture. In fact, many of my German pals when we would go out to eat, they would love to sit on the patio seating so they can just relax, enjoy some food for a few hours and watch people as they walk by. As an outsider, we are more aware of this practice, but for them is is simply a natural thing so they aren't typically aware of it.
That's called crowd watching or people watching, and is very normal in many countries. That's not what upsets people. It's something like being on a train, and noticing someone is looking at you directly with without breaking eye contact. They even continue when you look up at them. Makes people very uncomfortable when it's one on one with a stranger like that.
Confession:: Yes I stare :-) I like to watch people, see what they're doing, try to 'see' whats on their mind, how they interact with eachother. I'm interested in people and the many different ways they act and live their life. I'm trying to be not offesive and always put a smile on my face when someone realize that I watch him/her. Depending on their reactions I either keep watching or look in another direction witha 'sorry, didn't ment to offend you' on my face :) When I realize that someone is staring at me my brain first tell me to feel uncomfortable but most of the times I can switch that quickly to 'keep calm, nothing is wrong, this person just look at you and won't hurt you' and again, put a smile on my face. BTW I really enjoyed watchin this video. Interesting topic and well done with the interviews!
I don't want you to see what I'm doing. What about my choice and my right to privacy?
Am Schluss sehen wir, wie Januzs schaut jnd dann sogar lächelt. Das ist die schönste Art zu schauen. Wenn ich das auch mache, dann lächeln viele zurück und denken sich was. Die zweite Variante ist , dass ich schaue und dann sage, was ich gerade gedacht habe. Das kommt immer gut an (im Zug oder Tram), weil heutzutage die meisten nur auf ihr Handy starren und keine Bezüge zu ihrem Umfeld mehr herstellen. Ich finde es schön, wenn man angeschaut/wahrgenommen wird. Kinder sind da gute Beobachter und können ganz klar zeigen, ob es für sie gerade angenehm oder unangenehm ist. Gutes, emotionales Thema. Danke!
Ich kann bestätigen, dass das Anstarren in Großbritannien nicht so gut ankommt und, wie Janusz schon gesagt hat, man schnell in eine Konfliktsituation geraten kann. Das Starren ist allerdings nicht nur eine deutsche Angewohnheit. Ich habe es selber auch schon in Spanien und Frankreich erlebt, gerade von den älteren Generationen, wenn man eben heraussticht aus der Norm, an die sie gewohnt sind.
I got used to it living in Hamburg (I'm an Aussie)...and now I like it. I think it's a way of connecting to another person, and once I got past the discomfort, it started to feel natural.
Jaaaa. Genau. So ist es nämlich. Ein freundliches Bemerken. Es hat nämlich auch den Vorteil, dass man ziemlich schnell merkt, ob jemand Hilfe braucht.
I think that being allowed to look at people and allowing people to look at you in return is a good thing. I can't help but feel there is something wrong in a society when people want to fight each other just because somebody looked at them. As many comments have said, children have to be taught not to do it, that's because it is a natural human instinct. That so many societies have social conditioning to inculcate agression towards what is clearly a natural instinct says a lot about why we should question our societies and norms.
I definitely agree! It's pretty ridiculous once you think about it. I think that goes hand in hand with how generally for some reason English speaking countries personally space is a huge thing, and generally, you don't talk to strangers (except in certain cases), and people just generally aren't very friendly towards strangers. But in other countries, especially in Spanish speaking countries in particular, in my experience they are much more friendly. They also do not have the unspoken personal space rule, will stand much closer to you than someone from the US for example, touch you more, etc. but in the US this would be a big no-no lol. But I feel that this is what natural human behavior is, and many countries seem to have deviated from it.
Not natural for me. The moment you stare at me, that's confirmation that there's a person paying attention to me. Don't know about Germans, but most of NAs just want to get their shit done and over with, and won't want to worry about random people looking at us. I don't want to think about you, and you don't want to think about me. Simple shit.
I dont think it is about the starring alone, but more about finding the middle ground between different expectations and different ways how people want to live their lifes. Some people like it some dont, so if someone doesnt like to be looked at I can try to be nice aswell. If someone likes it, its alright.
So. Many. Insecurities...
Primates do this. Staring = aggression.
In England it’s considered rude but for some reason it’s always the old people who stare in England
Was fuer ein freundliches und sympathisches Format! Das Starren ist definitiv etwas Menschliches und nicht nur etwas Deutsches ... Was ungewöhnlich ist und aus dem Rahmen springt wird einfach analysiert. Liebe das Duo! Bitte mehr davon :-)
Nein, das ist ein extrem ungutes Starren das nur Deutsche und Österreicher machen und was jeder andere, egal wo er herkommt, sofort bemerkt. Siehst du wie viele Menschen aus den verschiedensten Ländern dasselbe schreiben? Die bilden sich das alle nur ein, gel?
The dude who mentioned London was absolutely right about London! Over here you really don't want to stare at people because it can be considered impolite and in certain situations: threatening. I never knew there was this phenomenon in Germany- this is fascinating.
I mean, I guess you can stare threateningly in Germany aswell, but that requires a good deal more of facial or body language to supplant the threat before people notice. Mostly, I guess, I'd consider staring as attentive and curious.
The german "staring". Hahaha. Love this topic. Personally I love testing people with this, you can pick up a lot of tells from their reaction. Especially in high pressure environments like the Military or Kitchens people will stare to analyze your behaviour under those conditions. I recently had a situation where some drunk, upset teenagers where yelling really loud and me, my friends and some people on the street stopped walking and stared them down and the teenagers grew silent immediately. Which I found really cool, because nobody had to say anything. We had a couple of laughs about it afterwards :D A lot of german people are just confident in themselves, don't avoid it. Just nod your head, smile or raise your eyebrow and most will be satisfied, and who knows, maybe it will teach you some confidence too edit: Born and raised in Berlin btw ^^
Totally agree. As you say, the reaction says more about a person's inner thoughts and fears than the stare itself.
No.It's about culture. In Britain you're taught it's rude to stare.
@ Other people are not obliged to accept a stare while they are eating, walking or anything else. Learning how to not make others uncomfortable is basic good manners.
Great video with good observation. I like the interviews!
I find people fascinating, that's why I look at them. I feel caught when they realize I'm looking at them. I often have a lot of respect for these people because there is something about them that I like. Sometimes I look her up and down and I think how awesome (insert word)
as a born and raised berliner who commutes daily, everyone stares all the time. Whether you're in deep thought and are just coincidentally staring at someone, or youre analysing the type of people in your surroundings, or youre fascinated with how someone looks, positive or negative..or youre just silently acknowledging the people around you, there are infinite reasons to stare. I stare a lot because humans are so fascinatingly unique, there are 8 billion of us, but everyone has their own face, style gait, its just mind blowingly interesting. I dont stare for long, its more of a short glance. I get started at a lot too, i think its because i dress interestingly, nicely or sometimes just really stupidly. I like being stared at most of the time, it gives me confidence. Sometimesnits annoying when people stare for longer than like 10 seconds, then im like "jeez louise" in my head, but i dont stare back, i use my peripheral vision to check who stares at me, then when they stop staring, i counter stare. like a battle of stares, until our eyes meet, and i just instinctive smile or look away to show respect
In Poland it's much better right now. I think more and more people got rid of their bad self-esteem and feel more open towards new people. In Warsaw I mostly get smiles back if I smile to someone or at least I don't feel the aggression you mentioned 😉
Germany: Don’t Mind Me Just Watching
jaaa! I experienced this while I was in Hamburg and always wondered why I was being stared at, especially in the train/trainstaion, watching this gave me flash backs, LOL!! This video made it so clear that its probably typical in Germany. VIELEN DANK FÜR DAS VIDEO POST, DAS HABE MIR SPASS GEMACHT ; Liebe grüsse aus Südafrika und nein wir anstarren nicht LOL
Es IST in der Tat ein typisch deutsches Phänomen. In Städten wie Chicago, New York, oder Los Angeles kann die Gewohnheit einen ganz schnell in Lebensgefahr bringen, denn die anglophonen Menschen mögen das überhaupt nicht und reagieren teilweise extrem allergisch dagegen. Man lernt in amerikanischen Großstädten immer die Augen auf den Fußboden zu richten und gar keinen Augenkontakt mit potentiell gefährlichen Passanten zu machen. Das Anstarren wird als direkte Herausforderung betrachtet.
Klingt eigentlich ein bisschen traurig 😅.
Jetzt habe ich Angst zu verreisen 😂
@@paulak5189 Verreisen dürfen wir sowieso nicht.
So möchte ich nicht leben.
Viele liebe Grüße aus Polen🇵🇱🤗🇩🇪
dziękujemy :D
I thought i was just very paranoid ..... they actually stare so much in Germany! It made me feel so uncomfortable but now that i know it happens to everyone, this makes me feel better:)
I really enjoyed this and the views of Berlin are special.
Das ist so ein interessantes Thema! Ich komme aus China und studiere jetzt in Deutschland. Auf der Straße oder in der S-Bahn habe ich häufig angestarrt gefühlt. Das habe mich immer nervös gemacht, da ich nicht weiß, warum es passiert, ob ich komisch trage? Aber Manchmal habe ich zurückgeguckt und die Deutsche haben freundlich reagiert. Darüber habe ich mich sehr freuen. Ich hoffe, ich kann so mutig wie ein Deutscher sein, dass ich Augenkontakt nicht vermeiden und Fremden gegenüber Freundlichkeit zeigen könne .
My experiences being an Indonesian uni student in Köthen (a very very small "city" near Dessau), is that me and a lot of my friends get stared at A LOT. It's understandable for the people there to stare at foreign international students since it is such a small city because they most likely don't get a lot of interactions with foreigners but i do have to give props to the shamelessness of old german Omas. They will stare at you full 360° top to bottom like some kind of an exotic species of animal until you dissapear from their eyesight. It does sometimes make you feel super self-conscious and a bit uncomfortable (especially if it's by german guys young and old because i have had a few unpleasant racist slurs & incidents thrown at me and my friends. Especially during this corona pandemic) but for the most part, we usually just act like we don't notice them blatantly staring and it usually works just fine for us.
I am from germany, but have lived long time in the Netherlands. I feel the same discomfort, when i pass by people here in Germany, because it is not only that they make eye-contact, but the way they look at you is often not in a relaxed and friendly way. It feels for me more, that with looking at you, they put on a wall to protect themselves, rather then inviting you or just being cool with you. After holiday breaks in other countries, i always suffer the most from this way of social interaction. Just relax, that there are other people around you i would like to say to them.
I'm a native and watch people all the time. No matter what skin color age or appearance. I watch everyone when I am bored :D
I would stare at the black dude too(maybe not polite), it’s not because he’s skin color or anything, just because he’s handsome and looks cool and stylish
True, I often don't know how to behave in a situation like this. I would stare at him, as I would stare at anybody who looks this cool, no matter the skin color but I wouldn't want him to think it is because of his skin color so I try to look away but then again I don't want him to think I ignore him and treat him differently compared to other people whom I look at. That starring thing is pretty stressful, even when you consider it normal.
@@Schilddruse agree😂😂 Same thing happens to me every time I see cool people. Gosh I wish I could be less sensitive but i want to look at beautiful things, it’s human nature😂😂 but I’m afraid they would think I’m wired to stare at them or they might get sensitive about it. Such a dilemma 😂
Haha. I totally agree. He is hot!
Came here to say this, totally fine.
In Ukraine we always stare to each other for a couple of seconds and then look away. It's okay. But starring at someone for a long time means two things: 1) you like this person (like some kind of flirt) 2) this person looks weird And if you meet aggressive person, starring can also be dangerous xD
hope u are safe
Ins Gesicht schauen ist super. Weshalb haben alle ein Problem damit. Es ist halt unsere liebenswerte Eigenart Euch zu sagen: Ich mag Dich!
I've lived in Germany for years here and there and have never noticed anything remarkable in this regard. I probably stared at them more than they at me...
Am from the Caribbean/ Latin and when I moved to Germany , I was constantly stressed out about how strongly some Germans stare (not looking ) I mean stare at people , normally I would say “what is your problem “ mostly on the UBahn, Sbahn , tram , bus , living in Hamburg I kinda got used to it , but as I moved to east Germany “Rostock “ it got worse “ I felt observed, invaded , sometimes threatened, and very uncomfortable... I’ve been in Germany 4 years now and my friends they keep telling me , relax is normal here , you might look interesting for some people ... and am like 😒So your Telling me “ I have to sacrifice my sanity just to fulfill your curiosity” so then I start asking “ why are you staring at me ? And the responses surprised me , I got the where are you from ? Oh why are you here and not in that country !!!! Or the I just want to figure you out .. and sometimes the “ are you single “ am like ? What is going on ???? Am I in another world ? Am I the only one getting crazy about this ? But after 3 years living in this city , meeting many people , using the same transportation system , going to the same places to shop , I I kinda go with the flow now , IT is still VERY UNCOMFORTABLE 😣, and I just hope someone understands, and noo “saying why are you living here , if you don’t like it “ is not an approach.
Wow that’s really rude of them
Germany is relatively a homogeneous country so if you are an immigrant or expat then you are more likely to get looked at. Happens everywhere where that country is homogeneous i.e South Korea, Taiwan, Belarus, etc.
Ali we are not talking about looking at , we are talking about stares long time , sometimes with an angry look . It is uncomfortable that is the topic here .... I just give my point of view and personal experience , is what I feel , is the question that was asked . ! my comment is not to offend or generalize , I fact I only talked about what is my experiences .
@@Name-jw4sjGermany is not homogenious at all. The German society consists of ca. 25% migrants. In the big cities there are often more foreigners than Germans, e.g. Fankfurt. There is no homogenity in Germany at all.
Noo “saying why are you living here , if you don’t like it “ is not an approach. yes it is, you are the foreign object here nto the other way around. You adapt to surrounding and not the surrounding to YOU! So deal with it, Germans stare at every one, from German to German to anything that moves. If you dont like it get lost. This is my home and you will adapt to the customs or else you got a really bad time in front of you.
I'm not aware of being particularly stared at. At least, I didn't notice. A couple of times I was being loud, when I just arrived to Germany (Frankfurt am Main) and they stared and frowned at me until I realised my voice was too much, probably they could hear me from the end of bus. xD So I lowered my voice and everything went back to normal. But else... not really. I know I stare very often. And I know because people who are not German are often annoyed or unsettled, and ask me what's wrong or why am I staring at them. I don't know in England, hadn't any experiences either way, but in Ireland it prompted many conversations. They take it as you want to say something, say they kick off first. I think in some countries staring for long or fixing your eyes on someone is a call for a fight, and that's why some people get upset, maybe even confused. They think that person who's staring at them wants a fight or an argument, or is disapproving of them. And it's definitely a typical German thing to do, staring at someone because they're curious or something attracted their attention. I don't take it bad, and it doesn't bother me or make me uncomfortable.
That's one of the first things I noticed when I came to Germany... that everyone looks at me like I have spot on my shirt or something 😂 ... I got used to it already
As a german, I totally get the staring part - usually you're just interested in the other person without any ill intent - but the stare worsens a lot if you do something morally "wrong" or illegal - like being a karen on the bus, obnoxiously loud on the train, not wearing a mask out of spite, or (depends on region) crossing a red light