TEDxTerryTalks - Laura Bain - Living with Bipolar Type II
Laura Bain speaks about living with Bipolar Type II Disorder, the trials and tribulations, but also how it informs her vibrant character and wonderful sense of identity.
"Laura is a very passionate person and as a 5th year Biology student she is a lover of Science. She is an avid cyclist, a teacher, an artist and a silly dancer. She is a windsurf instructor, the former vice commodore of the UBC sailing club, and a summer landscaper. She is a friend, roommate, a well-loved daughter and baby sister to three big brothers. She is also an auntie to the cutest little niece ever. Oh, there is one more thing, she is living with Bipolar Disorder."
November 5th, 2011. University of British Columbia, Vancouver, BC, Canada
Filmed by Craig Ross: Video edited by David Ng
About TEDx:
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
Relationships and bipolar: You attract one type of person when manic and they lose all respect for you when you cycle to a depressed state. Then you attract the complete opposite type of person (if you attract anyone at all) when depressed and they literally cannot stand you when you're manic. You have mostly hurt people and broken relationships.
I never thought of that. This makes so much sense. 😳
I never did either.. 😭
mark light Wow. Exactly.
Cue "BAD AT LOVE" by Halsey.
Exactly and the result is you have very few friends being lonely exacerbating the suicidal thoughts
Once I realized my creativity was just mania I've never felt more disappointed
Jeez... No wonder i can only write songs when i ain't all down & depressed... But all the songs i write are either about suicide or depression anyways or how hard life is in general
I don't believe creativity could ever be "just" anything. You're creative because you're a sentient being and have things to say about it. Mania just augments that, it can't create.
@@noxabellus I appreciate this comment. Well written. 💜
Every Idea is a manic idea 😓
creativity is a muscle. the mania just causes you to use it more. it takes work to be and remain creative. just like with muscles or brainpower if it's not exercised routinely it will atrophy
The shoe example is exactly how my life is. Beautiful plans start in a hypomanic state of mind yet the depressed mind has to execute them. And that is how you learn to be strong. Don't hide.
Exactly! Ugh. So many disappointments! I have all the great ideas and then they just turn to blah
Like a few suggestions
I own a farm and always come up with these really interesting ideas that would make it more fun for people to visit and see my animals. Then a depressive episode comes and I get to the farm and feel sluggish, unmotivated, and hopeless. This leads to stress that I’m not doing my job correctly and thus the feedback loop continues. I was just diagnosed last week and I’m so happy to finally have an answer.
All of the canceled plans and goals really start to pile up. Its embarrassing when someone asks if I want to do something in a month and I don't have the confidence to say yes anymore. Too many times I've been so hypomanic or so depressed that I cant function with other people. Too many friends I've made while hypo that get a cold shoulder once the depression hits and they think I'm toying with them or am just that uncaring. Tired of it. So many jobs I see where I look at it and known I could never do it because once depression hits again it'll be impossible.
"are you going to call me laura, or are you going to call me bipolar? tell me is this okay, or do i have to hide?" that's the most powerful thing i've ever heard in years. i feel so blessed for sharing this feeling with her. she's amazing.
I hope shes doing better. Very powerful talk...
Her talk left me in tears I’m so grateful I can listen to ted talks
My wife is diagnosed with Bipolar type 2. We've had some rough spots, but we've been married for 15 years now and we're very happy together.
CaliforniaLove8 I’m sure you will 🤗 hang in there! sending you the warmest hug.
JE Moody. What is your secret? How have you made it work? I am at 3 years with my bipolar fiance. I didn't see major episodes until last August with him and I am currently being ghosted by him (66 days) today. 😥
Just met in my world a perfect girl.. she told me on the first date she had bipolar 2 ... now im trying to learn about it.. and learn their partners expirence.. Im very much in love.. all advice would be apriciated
Viking Mma as someone with bipolar 2, don’t do it. It isn’t worth it unless you grew up in a relationship with the person
Rawktail sorry to hear that you feel like that? Does it never work out well in your expirence
this made me cry because it is my reality and my greatest shame. glad to know I'm not alone
Ms. J there’s nothing to be ashamed about. I read in a research that over 35% of celebrities and successful people in the states either have this condition or they have been dealing with it at some point of their life. It’s like having seasonal allergies and you can cure the symptoms by anti-histamine, etc.
Get plenty of sleep. Do not put yourself in a 100 hour per week career field like I was in regardless of how much money it pays. At some point such will burn you out. Get sleep, good food, a good vitamin-mineral, and medicine only if you need it. Take only the amount you need. See a psychologist every month or 2, that helps a lot, or marry one like I did. We are doing very well and these keys are part of the reason. If you cannot sleep, take Valerian root capsules...not too many, 300 to 500mg. It will really help on the high days. One must sleep and that is the real key to beating this. Do not inform your professional colleagues or work mates. That always backfired on me eventually. Sadly it is better to keep it a secret from work. We are still highly discriminated against, do not underestimate that with this illness. If you are sick one day, it is best to call in with the flu or a fever...if need be. It is ok, you are allowed, I say so....hahaha
You are DEFINITELY not alone! Take strength in that!
I feel exactly the same, Paper RoseJ
Paper RoseJ amen
im bipolar, during my manic episodes i have gone more than 72 hours without sleep, my social skills are superior, i can solve complex tasks way faster, everything makes sense, information rearranges itself in your head and its there to serve you in the most precise useful way, creativity is unstoppable, i have ended up with ideas written all over my body from trying to stem that flow of ideas. During manic episode i can hit on any girl in the world, and im so confident that it works, every time, its like being on cocaine, you are sharp, enchanting, curious... its limitless. but depressive lows are so strong, and so hellish that its worth sacrificing the manic episodes in return of getting rid of the depressive lows through medication. its not an easy life to be bipolar, but it sure is a such more intense life. Because of this i sometimes consider my condition a blessing, i get to see a wider spectrum of life through a bipolar perception.
The mania is wonderful. It's beautiful, besides the lack of sleep when you have work, but I hear you. I read chemistry text books and mathematics as easy as breathing. They are delicious to me. Depression, on the other hand, I could read the same like over and over and give up feeling frustrated.
+Figaro Fog yeah we feel like Gods on earth- just don't fly too close to the sun, Icarus
Erik Osterberg That is actually a good way to put it. I think when I come down, I feel like Icuras.
+Figaro Fog it really is an indescribable feeling. It's really difficult to actively fight it like the doctors want you to; it can lead to incredible productivity and creativity.... But you take extreme risks and are unstoppably impulsive, so at some point you're gonna get in trouble somehow (most of us anyway).... Key is keeping a good balance, staying just above the line between manic and depressed. Manic side of the spectrum is a LOT more fun ;p
I'm on the line right now(so-called euthymia), and although I feel OK emotionally, I don't have any motivation to get stuff done. Once I'm above the line slightly I start to function but any more than that and it becomes dangerous.
it seems like her voice is shaky describing the symptoms which gives me feelings for her. it's so hard.
Yeah, funny, the bipolar II emotional supertaster types in the comments resonating super hard with her delivery >
Erin Farmer it's a constant fight
Erin Farmer it’s hard cuz you think you’re just lazy but you don’t realize you have a mental disorder
She fears the ridicule which does indeed occur from a portion of the people. In professional life it is my total experience of 53 years that you can NEVER tell anyone in your professional line of work. Eventually it dooms you to ridicule, attacks by certain other managers who envy your performance, or simply gets you forced to retire. My case 2 times--and I could never sue back and win.
@@richardherberthenkle2817 Bingo. I think people might sympathize. Wrong.
It's a misconception that the high energy weeks are better than the depressive weeks. While you personally feel much better when you're on highs, you can't sleep and you're so excited that your thoughts make your soul want to scream. I don't know how to explain it other than that. It's... interesting. But it's a learning experience.
Those were weeks I never knew about but that did the most damage. I knew about depression even though I couldn't understand why. I only saw the manic times and got the answers as to why I did this or that after watching 'secret life of a manic depressive ' on you tube. as soon as Carrie Fisher spoke I went OMG I know that ! watched it all , both parts and then saw my doc who I luckily had an app to see as I knew a depressive phase was coming on and it was bad as it was a slow decline. I rate them blue and black , blue I cant do much but black I make the plans.
I go to a support group for it, and one guy had a comment that hit home... if you go straight from depression into hypomania or you rapid cycle, things will be getting better and better and you're like "damn, I'm feeling so much better, things are really improving!" Look around your house, and look at your body. A lot of times the house is the same or worse than when you were depressed (because you're so busy now! possibly doing nothing!), or your body is the same or worse because you're so energized you don't have time to care for yourself. Obviously not every episode is like this but a lot of them are. It can be really hard to tell genuine improvement apart from hypomania in the early stages.
I used to think that my mood was improving from depression when I would become extremely energetic and worked so easily to get my life on track, but the huge crashes would make me feel like I was dying. And now I’ve learned what goes up must come down. So I use that rule of thumb to prepare for depressive episodes as best as I can and try to write out what goes through my head during both extremes.
I'm right now in a high energy week or more like month and I fuckin luv it i haven't sleep more than 5 hours a day and i wanna fuckin die but i feel good tho
Ryan I know this is an old post but I ❤️ this comment of yours! Spot on
My bipolar causes me to hide a lot. I am so embarrassed for people to see me depressed, even for my therapist to see me depressed. During depression I always feel like I have let everyone down. I am going to send this video to my friends. Laura does the best job I have seen so far of explaining what it is like to live with a mood disorder. It sucks to feel this way, and I hope people I care about will maybe understand a bit more about my struggle.
I'm in the same boat right now hiding and obsessed with sleep it sucks these last past two weeks
I was where you are for many years. As I learned more about it, I learned to open up a little more. It's been 30 years, and at times, I do exactly the same thing !
I know this post is old now but I do exactly what you are describing. When I was younger in school I would make friends during times when I felt gregarious and outgoing. Then later I would spend a great deal of time hiding and feeling exactly how you describe. Sometimes, when I would see friends again they would assure me that I had done nothing wrong but I couldn't see it that way. I even hide from my family who has only ever been wonderful to me.
Same. I am always concerned with people seeing my bad self. The depressed self that I try to hide, because it’s not me. It’s not who I want to be. This has lead to a lot of isolation and putting myself on an island.
I feel your pain Brother✌️
I sometimes manage to convince myself that I must be making up my mental illness, usually when I'm feeling hypomanic. When I watch videos like this though I know I'm not "faking it". Laura described a lot of my own experience, and her slipper/heel example made me tear up a bit because of how well it seems to encapsulate the constant flux/imbalance we exist within. I've always thought of myself as a pendulum, but her example seems like a less abrasive descriptor.
I'm sure you have people that care about you greatly so try not to isolate and push them away when you're depressed.
im 17 and it scares me to feel this way. my parents call it a bad mood. and when im happy, im so happy they think im high. its very scary cuase i i want to be here... but i feel like im fighting myself... so what do i do when noone will listen to me.??? i ask you because your comment is kind od inspiring. hope you dont mind
@@avihoy5499 just remember that just because we are different doesn't mean what we feel has to be scary. what has helped me is learning less extreme emotions. i observe how other people feel by just asking them about it and getting them to describe things like happiness, sadness, excitement. knowing how it feels for other people helps me actually associate my emotions to those less extremes. but it doesn't make the extreme feelings go away, just that I am able to notice my extreme feeling and then since i know what a less extreme version feels like i can focus on that instead and it works.
@@noah9552 Thank you.
How to be sur that you are not faking it. I deeply feel this way but somehow my brain also tells me that I’m faking it. How to know ?
Don't feel envious of those with bipolar and the highs...cause the crash is ohhhh soo much worse..
Brutal, and the downs are waaay longer. Mine are about 3-4 weeks up and down 3-4 months
Jacob Jorgenson Indeed..But why do you have multiple crashes? If you just stay on your meds aren't you good to go?
Can't stand the meds. I was on a epilepsy thing that made me feel the same all the time and then the doctor wanted to add a mild ssri, but it made me feel and look like I was on drugs. So I'm working on creating a life that works meds free rather then drugging up to fit in. I'm not doing bad but it takes big changes. I find that I'm pretty good if I keep traveling so I'm setting out on 3 years round the world trip.
I don't know. The psychosis is far more damaging to me. At least with depression, I don't have the energy to get in much trouble even though it feels horrible.
I cycle rapidly, so the constant changing between states makes life unpredictable and puts a strain on social relationships because one day I'm thriving and the next I'm unrecognizable, plus it physically and emotionally wears me out. I get exhausted when I'm cycling rapidly. I get to a point sometimes where I can't trust my own thoughts and decisions, because my mindset keeps changing. I don't wish this on anyone, it's hard just like any other illness.
I think a lot of people don't understand that bipolar manifests itself in physical symptoms as well. Panic attacks, dizziness, motion sickness, nausea, vomiting, rapid weight gain/loss, shortness of breath, impaired memory. These are part of the game as well and taking some medication does help to control the physical side of it, which makes everything about 500% more manageable. Thoughts can harm you if they seem reasonable to you when you're thinking them. This is how suicide occurs.
Or maybe depression...
Have you experienced something like recognizing people more or less easily depending on (hypo)manic or depressive episode?
The lack of concentration is so pronounced for me. Either up or down I can't concentrate long enough to do things that I like. I used to read so much and now I have all but lost that part of me. Watching the first few minutes of half a dozen films before giving up. Walking up and downstairs because I can't remember what I needed before leaving the house. The anxiety of leaving the house at all. Feeling dissociation start to kick in when I'm walking among other people. Pressured speech and the worry that people are noticing and recoiling from me. And just days of bleak, dark, hopelessness. These are some things.
Bipolar is just an idea you fell into, use ImmaterialAI to get out of it
@@cymbala6208 Honestly, I’m not sure since I’ve always been terrible with names and faces lol
Incredible that she had the presence of mind to track her mental state.
weesh ful Right? For my part, it felt natural, and I thought that I was just an inconsistant human with no redeamable qualities. I didn't have the presence of mind to start looking at my moods until I was diagnosed, and I can see the difference now. But it's like, back then I figured I should always be fine and okay and on this high that I sometimes got and these random depressive sates were just getting in the way.
I know its 5 years old, but I think I've been bipolar for like 6 years, just started tracking my mood and stuff that I thought changed my mood and found out it's basically random
The app Daylio is good for this. If you feel so angry open the app and stab the “awful” face while ranting in a loud voice about whatever it was that triggered it. 😅
She is Bipolar 2. We are functioning.
That what makes bipolar so scary dude, its like watching a car crash and you are in it and cant do anything to stop it. Its terrifying. I wouldn't wish this illness on my worst enemy. But what can we do? We have to live with it so if you don't have it be grateful.
I have watched this about 3 times ... It makes me feel like I'm not the only one
You most definitely are not.
I just had a person comment that I will feel bad when I find out that this is disorder is fake .... I hate idiots like that but anyways girlie I am glad we have support ... Look me up on face book and Instagram .. Mykiea Mcafee and Instagram.... Twilight02
I don't know how to reply to a post lol but I had the ambulance come to my house because I went off of seriquil cold turkey and they said if I did not call .. I would have committed involuntary suicide and it's not fun of course ... I'm back on it along with other meds but listen people out there who thinks this is fake ... I'm a security guard, the girl talking is scientist so what's fake ... There is such a huge stigma on mental illness.. Ita ok that people don't understand.. As long as we stick together ... How about we form a bipolar forum on Facebook ... Look me up and message me so I know who you are below ... Username Mykiea Mcafee, Instagram.. Twilight02 and let's ignore ignoring people :) right now I'm sitting in my.car stuck and what to do
***** definitely understand, I am in the position now sitting at my phycotrist appointment... People with out bipolar have no idea what we are talking about when you said living in hell ... I understand you just want to curl up and not move .. Its like your body won't let you because you head is everywhere and what makes it worse is the problems in our lives get even worse when you have bipolar
***** I'm sorry the meds suck because I know they do and we wish the meds were a fix all but unfortunately we gotta deal with mania when the meds stop working because we all know that meds can only do so much . And I am glad your good days out weight your bad... It's makes me sad that I keep feeling vonurable and makes you not even want to open up because I feel like I am to much for my family
I am crying because this is how I felt for years since I was 16. Never been to a psychiatrist, just thought that I was depressed and life is just so gray and everything will end someday so it doesn't matter. Tried to hide it. Tried to distant myself from people during my depressive episodes then be present during manic times. It is so hard. Thank you for sharing this.
I went 30 years undiagnosed and untreated. If you can get a diagnoses and treatment, do it. You can easily ruin your life without that help.
I went to four therapists. None of them bothered to look past the depressive episodes and just was like oh anxiety! Try breathing. That's $50 please. 😮💨 I've had to do months of my own research to figure out it's probably bipolar II
i was diagnosed with type 2 a few weeks ago.. It's really ruined every relationship I've ever had in life. Thank you for sharing. Makes me feel like I'm not so alone.
Santi Herrera how has it ruined them?
Emily A I know for me, as type two in very aggressive and agitated for literally no reason and I push everyone away in any way I can, a lot of the times by being hateful or hurtful. and when that's over I want to fix what I did, but others Dont understand what's going on in my head. then there's the guilt of them having to deal with me at all because of this, it stresses others out beyond belief. its very damaging socially and emotionally to the sufferer and those close to them
Santi Herrera I know the feeling
cri sis i know this was a year ago, but im trying desperately to figure out how i can stop acting like this in my relationship. Do you have any tips?
I lost my Bipolar girlfriend because I was stupied ,now I'm reading about it an watching viedos but it's too late
Who is this wonderful woman? She is my hero for opening up the doors for thousands of people to learn about bipolar! I'm so glad that the stigma is slowly going away.
I know her
I have bipolar 2 and i really love this talk because it makes me feel like im not alone. Thanks for having the courage to stand up there and talk about this topic.
Ditto
Avoid oil salt sugar
I HATE the Bipolar, HATE IT SO MUCH! This depression that ALWAYS comes sooner or later, ALWAYS and steals my life for days or God forbid WEEKS and pays me in pain and sadness and tears for I don't EVEN know WHAT! Life just stops. Things I was excited about, planning for, dreaming about..gone, no energy...barely energy to water the dying plant, cook a meal for my husband and son, my house and bed a cave a prison AND a sanctuary both..and many times I can't. I want to shred to bits the thing that causes this, but can't because it is me. My husband tries, but doesn't understand really. I hate that my son has to live never knowing if Im going to be okay today or tomorrow or, suddenly not. Suicide (thank God) is no temptation or option for me though I look forward to "my time". I'd REALLY just like to be NORMAL..whatever that is. It's GOT to be better than this.
Always hold onto the thought that it will pass, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. :-)
LeAnn Cortez Bi-polar disorder D O E S N O T E X I S T !!
Steve Centeno Because you D O N O T have it, does not mean it does not exist.I am 40 years old, and for the last 20 years it was hell, and misdiagnosis...till I gotdiagnosed and have medication and other Therapies...by the way I am an Engineer too..
Maged Kamel I do not have aids but aids exists. I do not have bi-polar disorder but bi-polar disorder does not exist. As a matter of fact I am the master of my body and what I says goes NOT the business of medicine. You can save a lot of money by believing yourself OUT of this bi polar thing the way they have made you believe yourself into it. This is not my guesswork. I have researched this subject tremendously and have concluded the same you would if you would only research the deceptive practices of the pharmaceutical Industry. It is a BUSINESS to keep you sick. I mean body AND mind. Stop defending your unnecessary phantom issue. I wish you would just listen when someone ME is trying to tell you you have been terribly fooled with the powers of suggestion. I cannot elaborate further . I can actually but I must move on.
Steve Centeno let me guess, you think vaccines are poison and that the medical industry makes them just for profit. please elaborate further, id love to hear more about your pseudoscience and conspiracy theory.
The one slipper on and one heel on is pretty well way to describe it.
My slipper is way bigger than my heel though... :-(
Having read a number of studies, people with bipolar II typically spend 20-40x more days depressed than hypomanic. That sounds about right to me.
LOL totally
I love that she talks about how scary it is cause it's really scary and confusing especially when your moods aren't stable yet
I was just diagnosed officially as Bipolar today. I knew I had it for awhile but I didn't want to be just like my mother. She had such severe bipolar growing up and she wasn't on meds and it made it difficult to be around her. I didn't want to see myself in that way and I was absolutely terrified to have a doctor confirm my thoughts. I'm going to finally get the help I need and go to therapy and get on meds because I realized I'm unbearable to be around unmedicated. I've hurt the ones I love just like my mother hurt me. This video has really helped me as well. Thank you. Hopefully once I start my meds, things will slowly get better.
You got this! It is scary but doing the research and trying is what'll help. I had to accept it and I'm recently diagnosed so it's still new but people around me said it's getting better so I'm happy about it. You'll get there too and you'll feel much better. You're not your mother, you're self aware and courageous. Good luck!
Don’t think you’re overwhelming for others. Or too much. I feel like that shouldn’t bring you down. I experience the same thoughts so I’ll tell you this. I know how it feels to be unbearable cause others have actually complained about my behavior but I always have people that are patient with me. Please please please, try to find the patient people cause it makes the struggle less painful
How were you diagnosed? Self or did they breakdown the symptoms and tell you what it was?
@@Jacksonjames4 yea I went to a psychiatrist and she gave me some symptoms and then I did my own research and asked my therapist and she agreed and then the next time I went to my psychiatrist which was 3 weeks later it really was a drastic difference in how I was feeling then she said that she was positive that the diagnosis was correct. Once I did my own research and started paying attention, I saw it too.
Same here. I hear you.. I just discovered that my intake of sugar and foods that turn into sugars like bread and pasta are a huge amplifier of my swings and the intensity of them.. I seem to be fairly chill and content when I cut out carbs and eat a diet high in animal fats and protein.. it can take time to find balance in it, and the cravings for me are huge until I rid my body of sugar, which can take a few weeks. Once I’m able to get through the first few weeks, the cravings stop and I begin to feel normal and peaceful.. when I eat carbs my bipolar symptoms are all over the place and extraordinarily exhausting
My girlfriend has bipolar disorder type II, she is a bright person, I love her. I want to make her happy, we fight too much, I need to learn how to deal with lot of things, but I love her so much, I think I'll never leave she even with our constant fights. Someday we will be happy, I'm sure we will. I wanted to believe in god to pray for her, but I don't. But I believe in us.
Even if she breaks up with me, I won't hate her and I will at least be her friend when she comes back.
I hear your frustration. I'm bipolar type 2 and living with me was not easy. For many years, everyone thought I was full of shit. My girlfriend was the only one who stuck with me and dealt with my BS until I finally went for counseling and was diagnosed with bipolar. I went onto medication and my life changed. I was able to keep a job, I was finally, after 10 years, able to propose to her, and today we are married and have 2 wonderful kids and a happy family. I may not be normal, but my wife finds my quirks interesting :) I'm dedicated to her and owe her my life. I'm happy and she is happy. I owe her everything we have today. It takes a special person to deal with a bipolar individual. If you are that special person, then keep at it. Bipolar can be treated and there is a special person waiting for you at the end of the struggle.
I know exactly how you feel with this. Wish you both the best.
Hang in there homie!
Diana5513 Don't be too hard on yourself. You know you're not 'messed up'. I know this because you know this. Being bipolar is shitty but if gives us certain abilities that borderline on superpowers. The trick is to manage the negative aspects. We are not victims, we have a "gift". The trick is to manage the negative aspects of the disorder and acknowledge that it's always there. Use the disorder to your advantage during the highs and always stay on your meds. It's up to you to show your boyfriend how lucky he is to have you. The most important thing you can do is to NEVER feel sorry for yourself. After all, you're the one with the unfair advantage ;)
My earliest memory of my rage exploding for no reason was after I had my first child I sat in my closet where I had a lot of pictures of friends, good times and good memories and I got so angry I tore up all the pictures and just yelled and sobbed for hours. That pain has never left me, only progressed through the years . I function on society, I am a nurse. I love to help others, that is where I find my healing. I share my struggles with my pateints to let them know they are not alone. Some days I am too depressed to work but I move through the day , mimicking a normal person. My moods shift multiple times a day, its exhausting and I am always tired. My mind races at night and obsesses on how my disease effects everyone I love around me and wonder if someday I'll be completely alone. God, I know you're there. Take my hand and walk me through this. Amen.
You're not alone.
Avoid oil sugar salt
You are brave just starting my journey at 46 to become a nurse. I was reluctant to become a nurse because of my bipolar 2. But you definitely changed my mind thank you ❤
@@roshanmathew9443oh ok ....ummm
The ending statement hit so hard. I live with Bipolar Disorder type 2 and struggle everyday with my emotions. I've always felt the need to hide my diagnosis and disorder from the world, it took me 2 years to even open up to my family about my illness. The stigma needs to end and society needs to learn to accept and educate themselves on mental illness. I loved every second of your talk, Laura.
lol yep I can imagine applying for Ted Talks on a manic one.
Stacie Ricochet lmfaoooo
lmao my psychologist got asked to do one twice
Lol I tried to pitch an IP to Tim Cook
I'M SOOOOO DEAD
This made my day
I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2. But there is a chance i might be bordeline. Or a mix of the 2. Medication has gone through the roof, and i didnt see any improvements. My “hypomania” doesnt impact my sleeping patterns. The depressive episodes go beyond painful. And i think about suicide often when i am going through them. It is frustrating. The biggest issue is that someone with mental illness is the lack of understanding from others. “I feel down…” “oh cmon be strong dude stop being so negative”. It creates so much distress hearing this. When someone goes for kidney check ups is accepted and understood. Going to a shrink on the other hand… keep it for yourself as the stigma is awful. Be strong people. You aint alone.
Agree 100%. And to add to the stigma, the dismissal of the lows is so disheartening. Not to discredit anyone else’s feelings, but when someone tells me, “oh yeah, I know how you feel… I was pretty depressed (such an overused/misused word) the other day”, I can’t help but feel more isolated/dismissed. I know they are just trying to relate, but unless they KNOW… they just don’t know.
I am the same! I was diagnosed bpd but each time I took antidepressants to treat racing thoughts, I ended up in the hospital. But I’ve never not needed sleep
It's so disheartening when people you met while in mania start saying "you're different than the person I met" or "why aren't you happy all the time anymore?" and you don't know how to get out of you're depressed state by will, it just happens randomly...
The power of bipolar over someone's life can be hard for those without it to grasp. Her description of wearing a fancy heel on one foot, and a slipper on the other, is a fairly good way to describe what it's like to live with bipolar.
Great to know we're not alone.
I'm here. We are all in this together.
Your not alone!
I've been crying this entire video. It's so hard to believe there's someone you share so much with; the love of science with the included confusion of your bipolar disorder. Bless this woman and all she's done here
8 years later, but the same feeling.
@@wishtrack1087avoid oil salt sugar
11 years later, same feeling. First time I hear someone talking who has nearly exactly the same as me.
What I love about this presentation is that it “affirms” my own experience as someone who is seen by my colleagues and community as “highly functioning” and an active participant of the place I live while also living with these symptoms and utilizing a multitude of tools (medication, therapy, physical wellness, outdoor time) to support the view that others have of my ability to succeed. I have found that these community connections, responsibilities and obligations have supported my own wellness journey by making me accountable, not only to myself, but also to my loved ones.
i'm 17 my mother has bipolar; she has been sectioned against her will three times and tried to kill herself about 4 times. What makes it most difficult is the unawareness and denial. Dealing with it is difficult and I wish I had a community of people who understood
This was like everything i'd always wanted to say to people when they ask me how i'm feeling over the last 4 years. Thank you, Laura.
Living my life with bipolar 2 is a constant battle. It's so hard to explain, and I was happy and impressed that she was able to explain how bipolar works.
This was a beautiful and brave speech, it made me cry a bit. I know how it is to sign up for something, thinking you will take over the world and beat that depression with a stick, only to have it jump you again a week later and make you question what insanity ever made you think you were good enough to do anything good ever. You did an incredibly great job, Laura. Thank you for opening your voice and your heart and spreading awareness.
So honest and simple and clear about bipolar2. Though, imagine having an EATING DISORDER at the same time. It' s really hard to handle your life that way-- having two kinds of disorders messing up with ur personality and character every day!! I wish each and everyone of us having difficulties like that would face it all with only courage and boldness. Fighting, struggling is what makes you a winner.
💪💪 fight the good fight. We are all doing it too
I have bipolar disorder and also an anxiety disorder really doesnt mix that well when it comes to hypomania
@Young Grampz No not "facts." They are two separate disorders and you can have both. Look into the DSM or talk to a doctor.
Please remember, Bipolar II is not 'Bipolar Lite'. Because the depressive episodes are so overwhelming, suicide rates can be much higher. I take a concoction of Amitriptyline, Quetiapine and Propranolol (For associated anxiety). On the whole they work for me. Be kind to Bipolar II, they are very fragile. Don't shy away from Quetiapine, which is an anti-psychotic, it works and no stigma is applied to it. Love, Light and Peace. Finally, this is inspiring! Thank you.
Since everyone's sharing their stories...i would like to throw some hope here...its not about me or my SO(i'm still in school...lol😅),its about my parents...they have been married for 21 years now and i found out just a few months ago that my dad has bipolar disorder( they dont know that i know about it)....and let me tell you guys, my parents did a wonderful job in raising us(me and my brother)....i soo look upto them for fighting through all hardships...my mother is a strong and suppoting wife♥️♥️ and my dad is a great person too...they both are supportive of each other and we are a small happy family♥️♥️...so anyone whose thinking that youa re worried for your marring life because of you or your significant other having bipoar disorder, let me tell you understanding and supportiveness(is that even a word😅...lets just suppose it is😂)is the key....hope everyone lives happily...balancing out the ups and downs of their lives♥️♥️♥️
I was recently Diagnosed bi-polar.... I didn't want to believe it. I went to a couple of appointments to the doctor then just stopped. I still didn't want to believe it till I saw this. She was telling my story. It like she was pretending to be me. Time to get myself in order. I'm thankful to Laura for having the guts to do this TED. I am on a down arrow right now. Now that you have made it clear I will do the best I can to be a better me and search for the tools to deal with this. Thank you!
Our disease will always lie to us. We must trust in those trying to help us. Be brave. Today is my first day taking Lamictal. Pray for me.
Wow as I'm watching this I'm bawling my eyes out because I'm so amazed that I'm not the only person that has these feelings or fears! Thank you Lara!!!!
Me too xx
Loved this. I was diagnosed with Bipolar type II this past year and everything she says sounds like it's coming out of my brain. Such a great video.
Love you, Liza :)
Prayer. Exercise. Quiet time. Laughter. Sleep. Therapy and therapist. Dog and equine therapy. Volunteer time. Meditation. Recreation. Fresh air. Sunshine. Crying tears of joy because of how grateful you are that god saved you and loves you for who you are despite what you have ever done, wherever you've been and whatever you will do and will go in the future. And yes also a low dose of medication. Not because I want to or I like it or like what it does to my body but it does help level me out and slow me down
well maybe God shouldn't have given me this bullshit illness in the first place
"Prayer. Exercise. Quiet time. Laughter. Sleep. Therapy and therapist. Dog and equine therapy. Volunteer time. Meditation. Recreation. Fresh air. Sunshine" Thank you for writing these words! i was thinking that i want to rely to things other than drugs, my mom is a bipolar and I am feeling that I may have bipolar also since 2 years, I will have my first psychiatrist appointment ever after couple of weeks. hopefully it will not be bipolar! but if it is, I am willing to rely on natural things more than using drugs!
Don't be envious of us with Bipolar Disorder. It's a complete nightmare! In my manias I spent so much money that I had to sell my house. Nothing you want to have to do, but I left myself no choice because I had no control over my moods. If I hadn't been diagnosed so late, I may still be working and have my own house.
Carry on the best is yet to come
I’m not one to self diagnose. But my cousin told me to get a diagnosis just recently. He has been getting help for bipolar 1 for years. But he’s just recently come forward voicing his concern for my mental health and safety. He knows me more than anyone on this planet. I’m just glad I have a label to things I question…. Idk. This is just giving me confidence to actually get help.
I think my ex-wife has this. I see her in a different light now and with a lot more sympathy and compassion. What an amazing gift you have given us Laura.
Your slipper and heel at the same time comparison are perfect to describe it. Thank you.
I was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My family has a history of mental illness, most are labeled as depressed but there have been multiple suicides in my family. Sometimes it’s just nice to know that your not crazy and other people understand what your going through.
Thank you for your honesty. Suicide is awful. My dad and stepdad both did it. It is hard to sit with it or talk about it.
Avoid oil sugar salt
the analogy of a fun high heel on one foot and a slipper on the other is really spot on. I'm also bipolar, and the cycling between the two is really intense and can just wear you down mentally and spiritually. Kudos for her letting the world know.
I suffer from bipolar type II and this clip made me tear up. No one really knows what goes on unless you live it. Thank you for putting this on.
Would u like some help
I believe talking about any illness you have that cannot be seen is a sign of bravery! If more people stood up and said their illness it wouldn't be so taboo.
I’m 34 and was just diagnosed today. On one hand it’s a wonder I got as far as I did untreated and on another it’s kinda nice to know I don’t have to keep going on like this. There’s treatment. Doing research I stumbled on this video. Def hits home and makes me a tad emotional. Thanks for this.
I hope all is well…what made you want to go in to get diagnosed though?
@@yorglassmane recognizing patterns and my own irrational behavior over time that just got worse. I used to manage myself fine before a horrible breakup 5 years ago. I hadn’t been the same since. Didn’t realize that my bipolar symptoms were mild before that and then after that the trauma just caused things to get worse. I’ve lost some pretty close friendships this past year and found myself losing my temper and then other days I’d feel on top of the world. I knew if I was going to have any form of healthy relationships and work life balance I would need to see someone. I had a feeling I was bipolar at that point then my shrink confirmed it. Still figuring out the meds. It’s a battle.
I was in Toastmasters speaker's organization for 10 years. You, Laura, have demonstrated the best use of visual aids I've ever seen! Since all the other comments are about your content, I'm commenting on your presentation style, which is articulate and entertaining! All this, and bipolar, too (two)!
God bless Laura for giving this talk..the courage to speak so eloquently about a mood disorder and in her own way reach me on a personal level is astounding..I am 53 and recently diagnosed with Bipolar disorder 1. I am in recovery now after a long depression with ECT treatments that helped so much…medication and DBT has changed my life for the better…
She said she IS bipolar. Not "she is living with bipolar disorder" like what is written below the video. I have bipolar type 2 with rapid cycling. Diagnosed about 17 yrs ago. I get upset when people with it and without it say "I am bipolar" or "they are bipolar". We aren't bipolar, we HAVE bipolar. I also have diabetes, I am not diabetes. Just needed to get that out.
"She said she IS bipolar. Not "she is living with bipolar disorder"" True, she has identified with and clings to her illness to the point that it defines her.
That is exactly how I feel about myself, I have it, I am not the letters or my meds. I can be whatever I want to be, I am not defined by it.
Hi guys! Totally agree. Just to be clear I did title the talk purposefully so that it was "living with" and not simply Laura is Bipolar. The issue is that the begining of this talk got cut off. It was meant to be this person talking about "Laura" and how she is all these things and bipolar is one of those labels given to her. Then I come out that I am living with BP. Anyways, it kind of botched. But I do live with BP and it is encouraging to hear a response from others living their lives with this too. Anyways, sorry for the confusion and hope this clears it up. L.
I thought the same thing.
I am Bipolar. I don't think I have Bipolar.
As someone with the same disorder I’d like to thank those of you sharing your insights and stories. Bipolar has its own extra pains when you’re also high functioning, so I’m glad to see people discussing and working through their issues with like-minded individuals.
Friends have told me, "You're not bipolar!" just because I manage to keep getting up in the morning, keep functioning. They don't have a clue how hard it's been for the past 50 years.
@@alexismills9748 I know how you feel. My momma doesn’t really accept my diagnosis and it can be tiring trying to explain how my perception works. It’s why communication on forums and videos like these are so important. Thank you so much 😊
I know exactly what Laura means when she describes it in seasonal terms. I've recently been diagnosed as bipolar after 27 years of being misdiagnosed. My symptoms are largely governed by sunlight. If the sun's out I start feeling hypomanic which starts out as happiness but turns into irritability. After a few days of cloudy weather my mood tanks and I end up with no energy, can't think straight etc I dread bad weather in summer, as it's the only chance in the year to feel remotely human and capable.
I cannot express to you how much this has helped me realize that others feel the same way and I am not alone. Brilliant, thank you Laura!
Who’s here in 2020 ? Thank you Laura Bain . I hope you are well wherever you are .
2021 still kicking! Learning to slow down my roll in the highs and live in the lows without guilt or shame. For me now, bipolar is the waves and I am the ocean. Keep on. We've got this.
Laura, what a wonderful talk. Thank you for it. I've been diagnosed with major depression and medicated for years but recently was recatogorized as bipolar II here, in my early 40s, and your story made so much sense to me. You brought me too tears and I didn't expect that! Thank you so much for being brave enough to speak out. I think you're super cool.
This resonated so much with how I experience life that I honestly wouldn't have realized that it's not how everyone experiences everything. I have never heard anyone describe life like this. I think of all the goals that I cycle on and off of. I know many people don't follow through with their new years resolutions but do they constantly just pick them back up and wonder why they ever found it hard to maintain. The good habits I excel at amazingly only to fall back off the wagon a little later. Hiding from people who I had previously been so confident around. Hiding from my family and becoming anxious at the thought of talking to my grandma and letting it pass for months. Whose only critical complaint to me is why don't I call more. Seriously, how many people have a sweet family that loves them and yet they still hide for extended periods and avoid any social interaction.
This made me cry as all the stuff she said is what I am experiencing.😣💔 Right now I have racing thoughts, it’s currently 4 a.m, can’t sleep, feeling of excitement with projects, wrote future plans, at the same time getting new ideas. Just transitioned from the winter state where i hardly could get out of bed, to summer state. How I wished I could be in the summer state… Haven’t been to a psychiatrist, and as Laura said I thought this was normal… Seeing this video gives me hope to have a more balanced state of mind, and to get help. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Thank you Laura! I’m just realizing that I may have bi polar type 2 and your talk gives me clarity and hope
Laura Bain. You are awesome. I too suffer from this disease. And it is a disease. People who don't suffer from it will never understand. In fact I think they are close minded. I totally understand what you are saying. You are an inspiration to others by coming out and telling your story. Thank you so much. I wish I could meet you to talk about our stories.
Recently diagnosed and this brought me to absolute tears. I feel so relieved to put a name to all this but I still hide from everyone. I want to tell friends "I'm sorry, this is why I did it" But the fear that they'll completely right me off and label me is terrifying. Laura just made me feel a little less alone. Thank you.
Built and Lost two businesses, so much of a roller coaster life has been. Just got diagnosed today. Knew it was probably the case but hoped it was ADD. Now thankful we are working on long term solutions. Been 20 yrs of misdiagnosis and falted treatment plans. Thankful and optimistic in what the future can be
I'm happy for you. Always be optimistic and hope for the best
Wonderful talk. I have Bipolar Type I - and suffered in my 20's from all the things Laura talks about. Discovered psychiatry and medication in my 30's ( just on time to have a family and career, but was fortunate to be around an excellent support group - all of these people who - though they thought my behavior was sometimes strange - were good enough to support me and believe in treatment ). Now in my 40's, and still taking medication, life is pretty good......................I cried when I watched this video, not about the symptoms - they are what they are - but I cried about the silence....................and I cried for all the people out there who suffer from mental illness and have not been fortunate enough to find support or a medication that works. Most mental illnesses can be cured. Not all, but most. The human and financial cost of not seeking help, and not talking about this issue is huge. As my doctor said once, and I quote, "the brain and the heart are both organs, why would we spend so much time and money fixing one, but not the other?". Thanks again to Laura for doing such a great job to explain our illness ( and gift I might add ) in a context easily digested by those who don't or possibly do live with this condition, and or may have a friend or family member afflicted.
This whole video describes me to a T. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 seven years ago and went through cognitive behavioral therapy, everyday for 3 months. Just knowing what it was I was going through made my life a little more understandable.
My life partner is type 2 Bipolar. Nobody could ever look into a situation and understand it from the outside. It has to be lived and it is the most trying event I have ever experienced. I love her with my entire heart but it is chaos trying to keep our lives in order. There is no harmony and it has cost me my health and her stability. Love can't fix it. It takes professional help.
This is good that someone is talking very openly about it
Thanks and blessings of love and light to you :-)
Is she on meds?
yup
+Black Wolf, I imagine you knew it all along, but how did you manage to bring it to light for your partner? I am struggling to help my SO see this within himself and willing to accept help.. it's been tearing our lives apart for every dramatic negative decision he's made that impacted us.
Thank you so much, Laura. You explained what we go through with such raw emotional honesty. It nearly made me tear up. The shoe anology was so right on.
Literally the best description I could ever find for how I feel in life. Thank you Laura
This is great makes me feel understood in the endless cycle that is bipolar. You explained it in such a good way the states winter and summer and the contrast of feelings between feeling happy when something good happens but also the pressures which can be quite scary which create the bad sleeping patterns. And the depression that comes from the aftermath when something goes wrong.
I loved this talk! I was recently diagnosed with bipolar type II. Scary as it was, I too, went for a second opinion; glad I did. I understand what Laura is explaining; my life completely. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you sooooo much for standing up there and sharing your experience. It feels great to know that someone out there understands. Thank you Laura.
I connected with so many parts of your video. It’s made me realize everything I’ve been experiencing over the past years that I’ve been ignoring are real. Thank you.
laura thank you for your talk on bi-polar had a very bad week just being able to hear what i was feeling helped greatly
“Enough with this bulls***,”❣️❣️🤗 Absolutely love this
Very brave of you Laura! I just got diagnosed with this and people like you will help make others understand all of us fabulously crazy people. You are amazing!
Loved it! She did so well, at explaining this disorder. Keep strong Laura. You got this! May God bless you guys.
"You can't will yourself to sleep." !!!! Omg, I can't believe... It explains a lot.
An amazing lady! This really helped as I’ve recently been told I may be bipolar, and I’ve had a hard time understanding. Thank you for this talk
The description from the DSM book is exactly what I've been going through for most of my life, but its really gone into overdrive since my Mom died three years ago. I literally have screamed my throat raw, more times than I can count...because there's so many sickening thoughts and emotions inside of me that won't leave me alone.
Thank you for this! It made me want to cry tears of joy basically listening to you describing myself
That really was an amazing speech. What an incredible young women. Such respect.
You are so brave and strong. Love to hear how you manage your disorder and are transparent on what you been through, to help others❤️
You have no idea how much this video helped. I have people in my life I care for that I couldn't explain this to. Thank you and I hope the best for you from the bottom of my heart. This video was amazing and thank you again.
Thank you so much !! This has been hard for me to digest for the last two weeks. This video really help me. Thank You so much. From Arizona
This is a wonderful heartfelt talk. Thank you for finding the courage Laura, even though you had your slippers on at the time x
Thank you so much for being brave enough to give this talk. I was misdiagnosed with depression at the age of 19, having known since the age of 12 that something was not right, and only got diagnosed with Bipolar II last fall, 14 years later. It was a relief to have the hypomania explained, finally, but it's been rough realizing how much more stigma the label carries and seeing the friends I've lost over it, even though I'm the same person I have been for all of the years that they've known me.
Psychedelics are the reason why I didn't take my life when I was at my end. I was stripped of my ego and saw the beauty of life and interconnectivity and even though I still battle depression and anxiety, I'm going better everyday and never think in such a self destructive way again. All thanks to Dr. Adam
I have seen this video 10 times and shared it 20 times. I am bipolar 2 as well and watching this video made me realize it. I can’t thank you enough Laura for your message. I love you and hope all is well
Thank You Laura Bain. Your speech helped me a lot with my brand new scary Pshycologist and I was told after just 1 Hr. I am an EXTREME case of bipolar type 2. It was scary but a sense of relief that I am not alone. I am hiding under my fiance's name. But thank you. It helped me understand & be able to share your video with family so they understand be better
***** Thank you Brittany. My name is Lizzy, like I said I am hiding under my fiance's name. I needed to hear that right now...I feel the depression creeping up...I just slept for 19 hours... 19 hours!! I think thats the amount of sleep I get total when I am manic.....I shifted into hypomania on Oct.14th.I know it may sound nuts...no pun intended..lol,, but I prefer being manic. My last depression was 6 months long, although it followed after a serious try at suicide. I shot myself in the chest with a 9mm ruger han gun on 10-11-14. It missed my aortic valve by 1mm.... thats about as wide as 2 strands of my hair..I'm meant to be here... even the opinion of over 40 drs agree that I am a walking talking miracle, the bullet was very close to my spinal cord.....I am so so scared that I am going to shift into that depression. I'll get meds early December...but thats a really long story too... ughh, Idont want this disease to define me but I recently found out it started when I was 6 years old. I wish my Aunt wouldve told me sooner!! I knew there was a huge chance I could become as sick as my mom was. She was Bipolar type 2 as well, but she was also schizophrenic. thankfully I don't have schizophrenia!! but bipolar,anxiety,ptsd and agoraphobia is too much as it is!!
+Owen Quinn literally me
Lauren Ajak Hi Lauren, my name is Lizzy. Are you alright hun?
i'm fine, thanks for checking in
Sure!
You are brave indeed to say this out loud, to the community at large. Once one gets the stigma of "Mental Illness" there are still folks who give one a wiiiiide berth, afraid one might "go off on" them. I applaud your boldness and your self-esteem!
I'm so grateful for this talk. I really needed this today. Thank You.
Laura, thank you. You're saying everything that I've felt for the last couple of years. Sadly, in my struggles my partner finally decided that he had enough of my instability. I am torn but I still have a will to live. I am my own human being. I've gone my whole life relying on others to take away my pain and be my strength but I can be strong on my own. To anyone else living with what I do, hang in there. Everyday is a victory. Live for you, be healthy for you.
Still learning to deal with this. Really ruins relationships. Scary and lonely
one day someone will understand your crazy and their crazy will match. it took me fifteen years to find someone who understood and could tolerate me, after many ruined relationships.
Reach out to support groups, close friends who can be there for you. try not to isolate. It's good you'e watching legit information !
Thank you for your encouraging story. You are very brave to share your experience and please know it is very helpful to many. It's nice to be able to relate to someone and know your not alone. Thank You again.
Thank you for having the courage to share your story. It gives me a better understanding of what someone I love is experiencing.
This is the best depiction that I have seen on KZhead thus far about what bipolar 2 is like. I'm so thankful for a video that shows how mental illness may be debilitating but you can still live a full and happy life. Such an inspiration.