Autism diagnosis criteria: explained (DSM-5)
The autism diagnosis criteria are written for professional use and are therefore shrouded in mysterious and somewhat opaque language. In this video, I'm attempting to explain the DSM criteria for autism diagnosis (under the umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder) which is used in North America and parts of Europe (the ICD-11 is a more international version, but it is largely the same for the purposes of autism diagnosis)
To read the DSM-5 criteria for yourself:
www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp...
Getting an adult diagnosis of autism: is it worth it? • Getting an adult autis...
Being autistic at uni: • Being (undiagnosed!) A...
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Someone please tell me how to save my plant!
Samdy and Purple Ella back to back. I'm trying to get a three way video. You, Ella and Stephanie that would be great idea. It would need arranging. Or just a Colab with you and Stephanie. I hope you like new ideas from your viewers.
Have you tried switching it off and on again?
Which type of plant is it? ... ah, the plant in the background .
Trim back some of the dead branches of the plant. Then give it a good of 1 quarter of molasses, 1 quarter cup anomia you buy at a green house store, and one gallon of water. Then mix well and feed your plant till the soil is well moistened. And make sure to touch the soil of the plant every 2 to 3 days to know if the soil is a light to medium moister. And remember if you flood the plant work water then dump out the excess water. And wait till the soul is almost dry before giving your plant a drink. That will keep your plant healthy and strong.
I would say check the kind of lighting it would need but really you should find someone who knows how to work with that plant because often the symptoms are specific to the species and thus random off the cuff offerings will stress it out more if they are not the right answer. If you have a botanical garden sometimes they have experts you can consult.
Can't we all just agree that small talk is pointless
But it's also so hard to create an environment where people feel comfortable enough to do big talk. Can we just like not talk?
@@sirrantalot9009 yes??? Can't people just get straight to the point? Can't we just be "hello, I'm name, what you are interested about?"
One can try to make efficient smal talk. I kind of learned to make a small talk in a way, where it is revealed quite early if we have a chemistry or not. Wether they are same interests or a similar way to see things. So either the small talk gets deep pretty fast or we have a nice short chat and move on to the next person. As a result, the majority of my friends and aquaitances are autistic or adhd or lean in that direction.
@@sirrantalot9009 yes exactly
For sure
whenever I force myself to make eye contact, I forget to listen
That might also be related to ADHD, btw. Might be good to get that ruled out for sure. It's often comorbid with Autism as well.
Same for me
Dude same
I can't look at people because it messes up my thinking. Looking at them means I am thinking of their face.
ME TOO
when you mentioned young autistic girls "fluttering" from group to group peering from the outside i felt that so hard i’m not diagnosed yet but i so strongly believe i'm autistic and its not just with traits now its been my whole life. up until 6th grade i'd spend every recess following whatever group i could until they quite literally told me they hate me. happened with one group in specific, they told me they hated me for talking about kpop too much (def a special interest of mine) LITERALLY. at a certain point in 6th grade i just gave up and started sitting on the bench every recess. thankfully there was a very nice teacher who'd sit with me most of the time and talk to me. at the time i may have wanted her to leave me alone but ever since i’ve felt very grateful for her keeping me from being lonely.
I think traits is a better word than symptom because it’s not a disease, it’s a difference in processing and the way you perceive things.
@@joshuamclean4588 good point :)
When she said fluttering I remember when I was younger I used to hang around with different people I didn’t really know/didn’t like me. I was like “huh” lol
i feel like i had a similar experience too
@@joshuamclean4588just like in fallout, traits have downsides and upsides depending on the current situation
I've always struggled with keeping conversations going, and the part about abruptly ending conversations with one word answers resonates with me so hard
I only struggle with stupid, shallow people (where it never gets beyond small talk, or only into directions that are boring). But since there are so many shallow people, I wonder if many diagnosed autistic persons are simply intelligent. Same goes for other "autistic" traits, like feeling uncomfortable with most people, parties, etc.
About social difficulty: I literally either talk too much (and no one wants to hear that) or talk too little. Even with close friends, my conversations are very conscious and intentional with efforts. In high school, I didn't talk easily
Doc Oyalo can reverse autism with herbs and it’s completely perfect. I used it for my son and so far his speech is verbal and social skill is normal and he can now also respond to everything positively on his own.
That's me 😳...I am talking so much, to much...or I am sitting there alone and say noting
@@bolinhong2598 oh you're here as well, I guess you're a bot or a crazy person then.
Yeah I relate to this
@@mixstardust429 Report as spam
I was 59 when I was diagnosed. Initially it was overwhelming to be told how disordered/bad I was. But later it became freeing to finally understand why life was so hard and exhausting. I am now more comfortable with my own special/quirky self. Life is still exhausting but I am gentler with myself.
This comment really gives me hope. Thank you for sharing you’re experience!
I am in my early 40s and have always fit all the criteria, yet in the late 1990s, when I began to be treated for major depressive disorder, I was not diagnosed or talked to about autism. It does help to know the reason it was so hard for me to make friends or talk to people growing up, and why I used to think of myself as "alien". Abusive situations in my family causing PTSD, along with major depression (with suicidal ideation before treatment) and social anxiety, and were the issues I was treated for in my mid 20s. I guess it makes sense that these were the issues focused upon, since they were causing the most harm and dysfunction in my life. I do wish that as a young teen I had had access to others I could have related to. But in the early 1990s, that was not possible via internet as it is today. So I am happy that many young autistic people growing up today have much better access to information and cameraderie via the internet. I wouldn't wish the abject isolation I felt for so many years upon anyone.
Beautiful ...i found out at 57.xo
Hi Ms. Alexander, I was diagnosed at 58 and a half: It is nice to have the info. However, I feel a lot like Tevye and Golde in "Fiddler On the Roof," at the end of their duet, "Do You Love Me?": 🎼🎶 *It doesn't change a thing, but it's nice to know!* 🎶
@@heidih3048 Early 40s here too. Haven’t been diagnosed and only really came to the realization in the past week or two. Can’t say for sure I’m on the spectrum, but even having read some of the comments here and applying what I’ve read to my own life experience so far, I’ll be very surprised if it ever comes to a professional evaluation and it is negative. I’ve never related to so many people in one thread before
Honestly, the smiling when you are not supposed to really hit home. When I was in high school, I was taking a pre-med class where we dabbled in different health related things. I had a friend in this class that I was always partners with. We were doing a self defense week witch meant we were pretending to fight one another. At one point, I accidentally hit my friend's ear where she had just gotten a new piercing and so it was more sensitive. I felt really bad about it, but for some reasons, I couldn’t stop from smiling. She got mad at me and after that class, she never spoke to me again. I always look back at that with embarrassment and feeling really bad. Wondering why I could only smile at hurting someone? I hate hurting anything. I don’t find it fun in anyway. So knowing it might have been a system of Autism helps me feel a bit better, like it wasn’t my fault.
@Yuqing Lee Lol you think you can cure autism with a supplement? Can it grow back limbs too? Your son probably just figured out how to mask the symptoms you don’t like to get you to stop making him try weird things to "fix" him. Maybe help him learn to cope with his autism rather then try to "cure" him.
I relate to this! Whenever I’m really uncomfortable I tend to smile a lot, and sometimes this results in negative reactions from people. It can be physically uncomfortable how much my face contorts itself outside of my control, which is part of the reason I resisted the possibility of being autistic for so long. I had heard that being autistic meant you didn’t have facial expressions naturally, but the reality is that for some autistics that is the case, and for others like me, it’s the opposite, or rather we have “inappropriate” facial expressions.
‘Which’
@@goodmorningbeautifulhumans1638 'Witch'
BRO I ONCE MADE A JOKE ABOUT MY FRIENDS GRAMA BEING DEAD (her gramma had just died) AND SHE CALLED ME TOXIC. i didnt understand why i found it funny, i just did. i didnt mean to hurt her feelings, i was just trying to be funny like everyone else?
I'm in the process of being diagnosed...at 50! I connect with most everything you so brilliantly described. I also believe I struggle with ADHD. Ugh. I will feel somewhat overjoyed to be diagnosed. That might sound strange to most, but when you have lived so long and suffered so much and felt you were broken and bad and lazy and worthless and, the list goes on...to know there's a reason, and that you aren't a bad person, THAT would be a relief. Sorry, long sentence. Anyway, thank you.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
@T1gerFang Hi! I am so sorry to read that you are having a hard time. I do not have ADHD but I've struggled with depression a long time and that has impacted my ability to do things a lot through my life. I think the process can vary, but I would definitely recommend you to check the "How to ADHD" KZhead channel. She has a video on different topics and several tools that I find incredibly helpful, and I think it could be helpful! I send you a virtual hug. Please know, this is not your fault and you are not alone. You are loved, lovely and worthy; and we are lucky to have you in earth. You do life better just by being you :) and I mean it. A heart with empathy it's truly, always a blessing in this world. I wish you the best! I wish that you have, a wonderful wonderful day/night, month and life.
Diagnosed after 40's as well here.. It gets easier the more i understand that it's unreasonable to accommodate NT all the time (masking) and meeting half-way is a reasonable accommodation. anowadays i tell people up-front. most have no idea what autism means so it's not helpful yet - however i meet many more divergent people. We get on just fine - the DSM norms are simply the majority. When your friends are the norm, NTs are funny to observe.
This is exactly why I'm considering getting diagnosed. Both my kids are autistic. Now that they are old enough to express advanced concepts, they talk about how they cope and I find myself contributing with my own coping mechanisms that I didn't realize everyone didn't have.
Excuse me if this seems to be a stupid question, but what did getting these diagnoses do you for you as an adult? I'm in my 50's now and have been on ADHD meds (and antidepressants) since my 30's (before that just the antidepressants) and recently stopped all meds. Is there something you can pursue beyond meds that a dx helps with? Is therapy different? Once one has a dx is there some kind of monetary help towards the therapy? I have heard a number of people say "Finally, I know what it is." But beyond having a label I don't see the benefit. It seems like saying for example, "OK, I'm not a canary, I'm a duck. I will sing my own song." But, it doesn't really tell me how to be a happy duck in a world that seems to prefer canaries. I just want to know how to be a happy duck. ....Anyone want to start a group of happy ducks? Better yet, an independent city-state of happy ducks and those who enjoy the company of ducks....
social interaction person: hi how are you? me: good ... 👁️ _ 👁️
me: replies, How are you person: good, how is school me: fine, did you know that most people like to try to seem like they put themselves down by calling their past selves cringey or hate their past selves because they were weird when in realty everyone feels like that, not because we hate ourselves but because we were genuinely weirdos but people point this out and that causes some people to hate themselves causes others to pretend they were elegant and not how others described themselves and others to think that we must eradicate this behavior in children we know because it's weird and people don't like it person: erm no but thanks me: there is more.. person: sorry i don't mean to cut you off but i have to be somewhere now leaves me: ah, fucked it up again
I do this too and then i realize it and try to save it
the trick is to 'how are yOU?' them back. and if they also just reply with 'good', its no longer your problem.
I have a an automatic response which is what I use everyday: Person: how are you Me: fine how are you Person: good thanks Conversation finished I don’t get how it works but it works
I'm normally good for the "how are you" bits and then start panicking as soon as it gets any further. Anyone asks me something as innocent as how school is going or what I plan to have for dinner, I feel my heartrate pick up and I feel as though I'm being interrogated. Fun tip: "How are you?" and "What's up?" and the like are apparently interchangeable in lots of people's heads. As in they aren't just equally valid openings for conversations, their function is identical to the point that you can answer "How are you?" with "Not much, what about you?" and loads of people won't notice. Other way around, too. Answer "What's up?" with "Good thanks, you?"
I thought I was the only weirdo to smile whenever I express an emotion. An adult was grounding me? I would smile. I share the death of my dear dog to my friend, I smile. Someone telling me about their awful abused experience? I, yet again, smile...Put me through very difficult situations
Your statements remind me of my own behavior...
Normies seem strangely unaware of the nervous smile, I thought everyone knew about it until I was faced with people always being put off by my smiling in those situations for years
I laugh instead of sobbing sometimes, because they feel similar when starting. That can be awkward.
Same thing here. I've learned to control it mostly, unless I'm too upset.
June Novae same i push my true emotions to the bottom so i often just have a blank smile on my face even when talking about something serious..
Psych major, here. I’m 44 and being diagnosed now. The reason the DSM discusses conditions in such a way is because they are looking for disordered behavior. If Autism doesn’t cause any issues, it is no longer a valid diagnosis. It’s complete bullshit, but I’m here to fix things. #research4life 😂👍
I'm planning on becoming a psychologist but I also think I may be autistic which is cool-
@@menkemeijer8698 Clinical psych PhD candidate here. The tricky thing is, what you are describing is considered a feature, not a bug, if you are looking at things from this disorder framework/the medical model. It's not exclusive to autism; all diagnoses have a requirement of clinically significant distress and/or impairment. If you are deathly afraid of snakes but live in an area that has no snakes, and thus it causes you non trouble, you do not meet criteria for a specific phobia of snakes. If you are in an area where there are snakes and thus it makes life harder for you, you do have a diagnosis. The criteria are not meant to be personality tests or measures of traits inherent to the person but a measure of difficulty of that person in interacting with their environment. The category D the video mentions being the biggest problem...is present for nearly every disorder. It's the point of calling it a disorder. Her conjecture in the video that "a neurotype wouldn't be told they didn't have a diagnosis because they aren't suffering now..." is wrong. I tell people they no longer meet criteria for disorders all the time. It's the entire reason we have medical codes for "a history of" or the qualifier of "in remission." The DSM is specifying syndromes *which are in need of intervention.* If you have all of the other traits, but it doesn't bother you and you're not distressed, then it's no longer in need of intervention and outside the realm of what the DSM is meant to cover. It's an extremely limited view of autism because it's a different construct to what the video author and most commenters are calling autism. In the same vein, not all individuals who identify as transgender would meet criteria for Gender Dysphoria. Autism, as it is used in neurodivergent communities, is not a disorder. Autism Spectrum Disorder, is (sort of, technically it's a syndrome). There's obviously a lot of overlap, but they're not describing the same thing (and honestly we have insufficient research to really say *what* the underlying biological/trait thing *is*).
❤️ yaas be that pioneer
high school student, here. im 14 and have shown symptoms of Autism since i was 9. my parents never noticed and i am now try to get diagnosed (also with my parents disagreeing that i do have autism). its annoying that neurotypical people think they know more about us than we know about us.
@@samkushniruk8160 you’re not diagnosed.
Hearing “being in love with a topic” is about as seen as I’ve ever felt. Hearing that others tend to flit between “special” interests is also good to hear, I’ve never heard expressed in anything more than “you might like trains forever”
But trains are soooo cool! How can people not understand that?!? 😂
@Woodchipper Worshipper oooh what's the interest!
Autism is my current Special Interest
blpao I know that's why I'm here.
Me too
Hahaha same
same thats why im here too
Mine are yoga and cluster b people
At 17 years old and after being called weird my whole life, I finally got up the courage to ask my dad to get me an autism evaluation. It was the second most terrifying thing I've done in my life, only after a big presentation I did in 9th grade. I've been so scared that, even after my extensive research, I'm wrong and that I won't be diagnosed as autistic. After watching video, I see it'll be a breeze! XD Unfortunately, my parents aren't supportive. My dad is "supportive" in the way you are supportive to a child who says they met Santa, and I asked him not to tell my mom for fear she wouldn't allow me to get evaluated at all. Now, after a week, it seems like my dad still hasn't made an effort to get me an evaluation. But the hard part is done, so I'm going to keep pushing. ✊ Thank you for this video. It has cleared up so much of my anxiety. :) Update: just so I don't receive any more personal sympathy or advice on getting an evaluation, I want to mention that I have since been diagnosed:)
Omg same! I haven't talked to my Dad yet but I hope too soon.
@@TheScarletToadstool omg good luck and I can give any advice let me know!!! I got my evaluation and didn't even need a referral-my GP said on the spot that I had autism for sure so she just added it to my medical record, or whatever it is 😅 It wasn't so bad, anyway :) 🍀
@@HD-hh7db Oh my goodness I'm so happy for you! I'm scared that if my parents do agree to an assessment my Mom would want to come and then the doctor might listen to her instead of to me. 😢 But God willing I can get the courage to ask my Dad about it soon and he'll take me to get assessed. What kind of things did your GP ask you? Thank you smsmsm! 😊❤
@@TheScarletToadstool ooh okay I'm gonna do my best to remember and I tend to write a lot so sorry if this is long 😅 First she asked me, "So what's going on?" And I, like a fool, thought this was a greeting, like "what's up," which was probably an unintentional step 1 in convincing her that I'm autistic. Then, she basically just said, in a friendly and curious tone, "Why do you think you might be autistic?" I had an 18-page list of reasons prepared, which no one at all was interested in so much as glancing at, and I admit it was a liiiiiittle extensive but I'm glad I was prepared because I'm not good at thinking of answers on the spot and it gave me something to scan over. So I think the first thing I said was that all my life, I feel like I've been just mimicking those around me, and I didn't expand upon that much and she didn't ask me to, so I also went on to list difficulty understanding what people are saying (I didn't discuss sarcasm or tone specifically but mainly understanding instructions or explanations, etc. and the way my parents have always told me to "stop being difficult") and the difficulty other people have understanding me. She didn't have me expand a whole lot on any of that, and in fact didn't ask almost any further questions. So that entire part lasted less than ten minutes. After I finished giving that last example I listed, she just said, "Well, I have no doubt that you are autistic, so I'll just mark that down in the computer, but I can still give you a referral if you would like." She let me see what she was doing on the computer and she pulled up a page that had a list of checkboxes that listed a whole bunch of variations of "autistic." She checked the box that said "Autism Spectrum Disorder," but since she was narrating what she was doing, this prompted a conversation about how Asperger's was falling out of use bc Asperger was practicing eugenics and all that. It was surprisingly casual. She then went on to explain how a referral can be helpful anyway and why I would want it, and probably at least half of the appointment was just her explaining how I can get an autism assessment with the referral and answering all of my questions about how to do that (like how to find someone who does assessments, how to find someone covered by my health insurance, how to get my referral to them once I find them, etc.). She was very conversational and there was a lot of friendly (and awkward on my part) chatting, which made it more comfortable. I think I got lucky by having such a cool GP who believed me without hesitation, and I'm guessing it's not always as easy as it was for me, but I really hope yours is just as great. If they're NOT, of course, have faith in time, because as soon as you're 18 you can go do what you want, right? 😂😂 I'll stop talking now but do you have any more questions?? I'm obviously not an expert but I'll help in any way I can :) And pleaseplease let me know how it goes!!!
@@HD-hh7db Lol my first reaction was that "Whats going on" was like "What have you been doing lately" and I was thinking "Thats a kind of a personal unrelated question" XD Yeah I have a notebook thats full of my symptoms and I still haven't written them all down yet. 😅 Wow she sounds so chill! I hope I get someone like that. I initially thought I had ADHD and so I tried talking to my Mom about it and at first she said that she had actually wondered before if I'd had it but ended up dismissing the whole thing because I don't "seem different" and that it "would cause problems for you in your daily life." Even though I may look "normal" I 100% feel different and as for problems gee I have a lot of them. I now think it is a combination of ADHD and Autism or possibly one or the other. I guess I'm sort of scared I'm not "autistic or ADHD enough" ?? I don't have as many problems with friends or school but I think it's because I'm homeschooled and I'm very lucky to have a very accepting group of friends who have siblings with ADHD and Autism and things like that and some of them have OCD, dyslexia, and quite a few that probably have undiagnosed stuff as well. So we're all just generally weird. I've always felt like an outsider though and like I'm not really a part of the group. I have trouble understanding people, understanding instructions especially verbal ones, telling wether someone was being sarcastic like I know what sarcasm sounds like but I always second guess myself and find myself asking people "wait were they being serious?" But I don't think I have a problem with facial expressions but I do wish people would just say what they mean. I struggle with eye contact though and thats something I've had to train myself to do. I was constantly getting told as a child to look at people when they're speaking to me and when I'm speaking to them and to "show people your listening. Nod, smile, look at them so that they know you're listening." I was very hyper and talked incessantly all the time and I had trouble being patient. I would interrupt a lot and would often get in trouble for correcting grown-ups and not being respectful. I have many hyperfixations including toadstools omg I love toadstools so much (I don't know about actual toadstools I just love how aesthetic they are), fashion history and most recently graphology. I can hyperfocus like I can read for hours and tune out everything to the point where I can't hear my name being called and someone has to take the book out of my hands to get my attention. It literally took me years to figure out how to text properly and only now can really express what I mean while texting. I have struggled with poor coordination as well as bad spacial awareness as a kid and I am extremely clumsy. Mom enrolled me in ballet when I was little to try and improve my mobility. It improved a few things and I ended up loving it and am still doing it but 8 years later I'm still clumsy lol. I often zone out in conversations normally ones that aren't interesting, I forget what I'm saying mid-sentence literally all the time, I jump around in conversations and I have to remind myself to let other people have a turn to talk and not to talk over them. I copy people to the point where I mimic their personalities. I've mimicked accents for as long as I can remember. I act out scenes in movies and tv shows to myself and I even act out social situations to myself in the mirror to see if my expressions and body language look normal. I don't like listening to things I'm not interested in and often my younger brother gets annoyed that I don't listen when he's talking about some complex contraption he made in Minecraft. I am incredibly unorganised and just generally struggle with doing things I don't like. I have a terrible working memory and I stim a lot and have ever since I was little. I rock back and forth when standing or sitting and I flap my hands (thats happened more in recent years) jiggle my legs, and bite my nails (I've been pretty good at training myself out of that one and am only now enjoying long nails) It would also explain my trouble learning to drive. I turned 16 a few months ago and I still haven't gone on a proper road yet. Idk ADHD and Autism or both would explain my whole life. How I've always felt weird and different. I used to blame all that on me being stupid and not smart. Lol sorry that was a long list of symptoms and those are only some of them lol I am curious if you relate to any of them. 😅 Also sorry if this is really long I tend to write a lot too haha. I'm going to try to talk to day in a day or two when Mom is out of the house. Hopefully he listens and I can get assessed. But yeah if not I can always do it when I'm 18 lol. Thank you smsmsm you are just the sweetest! Lol do you have Pinterest? I would love to keep in touch and let you know how things go :) I love meeting random nice people on the internet hahaha. Hope you have a great day!
Undiagnosed adult woman here and I strongly recognise myself in all four categories. About to have a meltdown over the fact that I was never offered any support as a child even I was so clearly autistic and struggling. It’s still so hard to get access to support especially as a woman.
My feelings exactly.
As an aspie, I have found that, even with my friends, they talk to each other differently than they talk to me. They chit-chat with each other - and often, I feel, like they're talking down to me. They talk to me like I'm a child. Someone to be humored and tolerated.
Are they your friends?❤
Wow I relate so much! I have always been the weird one or quirky one, the one who is not taken so seriously, the minute I am myself and am goofy, people don't treat me the same anymore. So my social groups where I mask this heavily, they don't see me as such but I also know I have to "be serious" in order to be respected - and it's not like I can turn this trait off, it's automatically there but god I wish people were allowed to be themselves and not lose people's respect
Thank you for the video. I'm pretty sure that I'm autistic but I have a huge problem with impostor syndrome. I'm so scared that I don't get the diagnosis and I will be pushed in the "you're just weird and you can't find friends because of childhood trauma" bubble which I'm already being pushed in. I know that I'm not normal, that I appear weird to a lot of people and that I'm just unable to make friends. People point it out to me a lot and when I tell them I might be autistic they just say "no you're not autistic, you're normal" when they just told me that I'm weird?! If I'm not autistic, what's wrong with me then? I really hope to get the diagnosis.
Don't forget that a lot of people know nearly nothing about that topic. I had the same, when I started thinking about I might be autistic and shared that with people and they would look at me in disbelief because all they know are rain man and maybe people that can't dress themselves and can't contain their saliva. I am also not diagnosed yet (Corona says hi) and know your fear, but I learned that there are people who identify as autistic and although I think that is problematic in a scientific way, I feel way better by just assuming that I am autistic. I only share that with people that are close to me and I am open to them about not being diagnosed and this works well for me right now. I think that people are a bit more open concerning that topic since Greta (it helps that my peers don't hate her). Whish you the best!
@@nellie__ That's a fabulous thought: def needs quoting again and again! So validating. Thank you!
Going through the same problem. Like I might be? But maybe not? I go into full denial and disagree with the fact that I might be autistic, I infact have no friends and have some childhood trauma to get rid of, which might be the reason for me feeling like this, but then, why do I feel like there's a bigger problem than that? Who knows, who knows, only a future diagnosis will.
Same
i literally feel the same. Im afraid to take the tests and knowing im not autistic, that would make me feel so bad and rn im feeling kinda anxious about it
I just went through all my symptoms with my mom over the phone today (got them typed out for my -bu bu buuuummm!- appointment with my GP. Ugh!!!!) at the end she was in tears and angry. “THIS is what Tiffani (my sister) had.” The anger and frustration of all the years of misdiagnosis, actual abuse from therapists and doctors culminating in suicide my sister went through because of the ignorance in diagnosing autism is difficult to come to terms with.
That is awful. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Anthia Softmoor thank you! 💜
I can't express in words how sorry and angree I feel for your sister. I just went through a very disrturbing "diagnostic" experience that has led me to start a movement to handle the CRISIS that female autism and the lack of recognition thereof is in right now. It is a legit crisis as this tragedy also illustrates. We need to start a movement and educate professionals so that they are up-to-date with the lates, most high-quality science and know what to look for. Message me for details if you're interested in joining me! (I haven't done much just created a fb group but will get active when I have free time)
@@tinyinthewoods8130 I'm interested in joining you! Suspect you won't see this, so have messaged you on FB (hope you are the same Anna Kiss!!).
@@tinyinthewoods8130 I would be interested, as well.
i’m glad to know i’m not the only one who started experiencing more social difficulties around puberty. before that i had extremely high grades and could read at a highschool level in 3rd grade. i would line up my toys and i would rotate my stuffed animals to the good spots so none of them would feel sad. i’ve always had empathy for inanimate objects (e.g. if i went to pick out a toy but then saw one in better condition i would get the first one anyway because i didn’t want it to feel sad) and always connected with animals more than i did people. i would always talk about the things i liked and me. i was obsessed with braces and for weeks they were the only things i would talk about. i researched reptiles for months and i even got a bearded dragon! he is 3 now and is very well cared for. i always had sensory issues and would become very irritable and cry when i was overwhelmed with temperature, sound, lights, textures, etc. I was an extremely picky eater and i went through a period of time where i would always eat canned speghetti-o-s every weekday at 3pm. as i got older i still have all of these traits but the social aspect for me has gotten more difficult. once you get older, it’s less acceptable to talk about your interests. people see you as weird or obsessive, so you learn to stop doing it. everyone seemed to form groups and would all talk about things that didn’t interest you so when you tried to have a conversation, it was either very uncomfortable and short or it was very one sided. having small talk doesn’t really happen for me. i don’t like meeting new people as i don’t know what to talk about because i don’t know what is deemed okay or normal to say. i hate it when people touch me without my direct permission and will do everything in my power to avoid it. i am very blunt and even if i think im being very polite i still get told that i am being rude. i stim vocally and am always finger tapping and touching, bouncing my leg, cracking joints, flapping my hands, picking at my skin, etc. when i was younger i would stim by humming and singing all the time. nothing would get me to stop. as i got older, people started to get more annoyed and judgemental so i learned to tap instead. i used to bite my nails horribly and just quit last year, but quitting a habit almost always starts a new one so now i pick at my scalp. it’s hard for me to read tone and understand expressions and i take everything at face value. when i try to read tone i am usually wrong. i’ve expressed to my mom that i may have what used to be considered ‘asperger’s’ and she’s brushed it off, but i think just recently it’s been on her mind more. i discovered what a RAADS test was and a few months ago I took it and I scored 174. one of my hyperfixations was autism which had me write pages and pages and pages of every symptom and experience i have ever shown of autism and showed it to my therapist. maybe someday i’ll get a diagnosis but sometimes i feel guilty and think im faking it until i catch myself experiencing the symptoms when im alone by myself. hearing you talk about this made me feel seen. thank you.
I read the whole comment. I don't believe I have autism but I used to volunteer with autistic kids across the spectrum as a teen. I loved it cause they taught me how to cope with my ADHD in so many ways ! Y'all are wonderful. But when it comes to feeling like you are making it up , don't worry about that. If this experience is real to you , it's real ! You typed this all out and I'm sure your notes to your therapist include more. I think that it's totally valid and even without an official diagnosis you are able to start working with coping mechanisms or just on your confidence to not change. I hope you like your therapist. Im starting with a new therapist today. I've always had an interest in psych but I've been hyper fixating on ADHD lately (cause it's relatable and interesting and validating and truly is my only form of dopamine atm) and sometimes I feel that I'm making it up , but the amount of validation and community I feel for my whole childhood and early twenties reminds me that there is value in this. I hope this sounded supportive cause I was trying to be supportive 😅
@@ebonyalexis32 i totally forgot i commented this, i never knew that it was this long😅 I really appreciate it. I wrote pages upon pages about every single symptom and experience i had to give to her. It’s hard growing up not knowing you’re autistic until later so i appreciate the support. I am also starting with a new therapist, we meet on Thursday. I hope to be able to be more open with them. I really appreciate the time you took to read and reply, it definitely made me feel comforted.
This comment made me cry. I hear you and relate to you so much. Thank you for putting all of that into words. We are not alone❤️
@@oliviasmithson6308 🫶🏼
This. You explained who I am. I'd even rinse my hands with water to flap so it looked normal when the urge was too strong and couldn't help myself in public.
The thing about the “strong interests” thing: the more autistic part of it is not even that it’s an “unusual” interest as much as it’s “very specific”. For example I love learning about geography but what is weird is that especially years ago I would be obsessed with specifically remembering populations of countries, US states, and even cities and metropolitan areas. I would even spend hours staring at maps, remembering populations. It’s those kinds of things that the diagnosis is talking about
Holy crap, I've been obsessed with the states since I was little! I could fill out a map of the states and capitols when I was like 5 and to this day I love learning about the different states, love looking at maps of the country ( and some times other countries or the world) ...I love learning unique geography facts and I thought I was the only one!
Hm maybe this explains why I (as a 20 year old guy) was for no reason super obsessed with Frozen 2 for like a straight year. And not even Frozen, specifically Frozen 2. Even I thought it was weird.
"You meet somebody for the first time and immediately launch into a monologue about yourself or about one of your interests." Well then.
I Just realized I don't know how to answer what friendship mean to me...
Interesting, isn't it? I thought I was pretty clear on what friendship is, what it means. But what it means *to me*? Wow. Turns out it's a completely different question. Glad I got the heads-up on this one; I'm really going to have to think about that.
Me too but I don’t think I’m autistic. I’ve spent about the last 15 minutes thinking about it and I think I have an answer but I don’t know if it really feels right. My answer is: a close bond between two people that offers support and company for each other. But I think that’s just a general definition and not what it means *to me* I don’t know this is hard lol
Friendship is something other people understand, want and seek, but not me. I've always felt like there was something wrong with me because I prefer my own company most of the time and would rather do most things alone. I don't have the energy to do what is required to maintain normal friendships, I've tried, and failed because honestly, my heart was never in it. I care about other people, but in a general kind of way. It takes all my energy just being able to connect with myself in a healthy, functional way, there's not much left over for anyone else. The topic of friendship needs a trigger warning for me because it causes shame, I have had problems with friendship my whole life, and that's just not acceptable, so I'm not acceptable.... that's what friendship means to me.
Same
It’s really not that deep... I d9nt understand what’s so complicated about it...
The frustrating part of this diagnostic material is how much it depends on your experiences being “visible” to neurotypicals. Like, I want to get an evaluation to see if I have autism but I feel like my parents won’t take me because they don’t understand how long I’ve been forcing a mask on. During middle school, especially I would mention to them how I was bad at socializing and making friends but they never believed me because from their view I was in “normal” friendships. Or if someone were to ask my parents if I had difficulty making the “correct” facial expressions they would say no even though I’m always forcing myself to smile when I think I have to, even when it makes me uncomfortable. They wouldn’t realize I have some routines because I don’t tell anyone, I just do them and then have a silent panic attack when other people ruin it. My special interests weren’t evident to my family most of my childhood because them even expressing mild disinterest in it made my brain decide on the Social Rule that I can’t share my interests unless another person asks me first and that if my parents even once don’t show interest in an aspect of my interests I decide they hate all of it. That being said I am not completely sure if I’m autistic because even though I relate I also don’t trust myself to not be “faking” it. I could also just have something else like ADHD that’s similar for all I know.
real. (idk what that means i assume it the same this as "For real")
@@samkushniruk8160 Whatever it's supposed to mean, because you clarified, your usage means that. I tend to be more verbose, because it feels to me like it's the only way I can possibly get what I actually feel across. But language usage is actually descriptive, not prescriptive, as much as your language teachers in school hate it.
@@edgrimm5862 oh cool ty
I'm not a psychologist, but I'm a 50+ year old who self-diagnosed as having borderline autism in college and then finally got an official diagnosis in the past ten years. I've talked with a lot of people and read a bunch of stuff about it since then. Having read your post, I am completely sure you are on spectrum. Whether that is borderline like me or the "full" version, I don't know. There's also an assortment of related conditions that could apply which I know more or less nothing about except they exist and can at least sound ghastly. Being able to mask your autistic traits doesn't mean you don't have them, it just means that you're harder for others to diagnose. The extent to which you describe your masking sounds like you also have a flattened affect, but that's usually related to PTSD rather than autism. To be clear, I'm not saying that you have PTSD; I did say it's *usually* a PTSD thing. That said, what you describe sounds like you might have PTSD over how you were treated as a child in response to your autism. I can relate somewhat. I probably have more of my PTSD than I realize from that. I mean, it's pretty easy at that age to repress things. While I do have a memory from when I was two and possibly one from before Kindergarten, most of my childhood memories are from when I was seven or later. If you think you might have PTSD, that's probably something to see a psychologist over. I've seen several about mine and it's been helpful. Even just having a specialist determine that yeah, what I have is almost certainly PTSD was more helpful than I had imagined it could have been.
@Phoenix Writes - Yes, this. I don't look autistic (and, like you, I'm not *sure* I am), but I feel like "trying not to look autistic" is basically the entirety of my learned social behavior. So, yeah, it's going to be very misleading to people looking in from the outside, and that disconnection between my social presentation and my inner experience is what I find most upsetting. I don't know what to do about it. Trying to pass is still the only way I know of interacting with people.
Two years ago, diagnosed with ADHD. Telling my therapist at the time I didn’t think I was autistic because, you know, I *can* read body language, enjoy social contact with other humans. Except I sorta hate myself for infodumping. Kinda like I’m doing now ✨ So, is it ADHD with a side of ASD, ASD with a side of ADHD, or both with a heaping helping of childhood trauma from both school and home (yea, you know if you’re dipping in both these pools school was no fun). God, this makes navigating actual human relationships SO HARD.
This is the comment I relate to most so far. Same here, my friend. Thank you for sharing (and infodumping lol). Talking to the psychiatrist who did my neuropsychological evaluation for ADHD to potentially go back and test for autism. But I'm effusive and love chatting, have no problem starting conversations (will even start them with random strangers) and actually enjoy small talk. But then I watch videos like this and think... 🤔
@@Youser999 did u get tested? i was also diagnosed with adhd but i’m hoping to go back to see if there’s a possibility of also having autism because there’s just so much i relate to
@@yuqinglee7583 wtf?
I'm with you
You call that an info dump? You need at least six 10 sentence paragraphs. I was very disappointed after clicking "read more" and finding only three sentences. I'm here to read and reply, man!
oh my god the “butterfly” thing of switching between groups and never really sticking to one and feeling like you belong is so me that everything makes sense now. I have friends, but not super close ones? I’m in a few different friend groups but I tend to be the odd one out of all of them if that makes sense. That isn’t the only thing I relate to either. I really need to discuss the possibility of me being autistic with my therapist.
This is how the epidemic of erroneous "self-diagnosis" always starts 🤦♂️
@@Snaphoo self diagnosis is often the only choice for many people. they may not be able to afford and official diagnosis or not have access to one. self diagnosing bc you kind of relate to something is stupid, but deeply relating to most, if not all of these criteria as well as doing a significant amount of research is completely valid.
@@Snaphoo ..... 😕
You worded this so well & gosh I relate so hard!! THANK YOU!🤍
@@Snaphoo "I really need to discuss the possibility of me being autistic with my therapist." Ah yes, totally self-diagnosis.
I find it really difficult to handle when I speak about something in a group (something which seems to me as an interesting subject and normal conversation about stuff) when suddenly I notice that people just start ignoring me and are starting to have a different conversation in the middle of my sentence. In the past I would get offended and leave or fall silent mid-sentence and become sad. But now I am working on my self love so I simply finish the thought and tell myself that it is not important to me that they like or respect me, it is important that I give myself the right to speak. This is really humiliating though. I am either really bad at social interactions or my friends are not friends at all.
This comment speaks a lot to me. It's promising to hear u were able to work on it, it's a problem for me even after many years of therapy. People ignoring what I say or talking over me would be enough for me to shut down and my face completely changing, feels like I have no control over it. A small trigger like the example u gave is enough to fall into this mood of self doubt and feelings of rejection. Enough to get convinced that no one appreciates my contribution to the conversation and maybe I shouldn't talk (leads to inner anger and frustration). I really want to learn to overcome it as u did, I don't know how. Practicing selflove seems more easy when I'm alone, but with people it feels like others have power over my emotions. Could u give me a concrete example of what I can do to improve it?
This happens to me alot and I think contributes to why I can barely talk in public or group settings
Sometimes we need to shorten what we say if we want to get listened to.
And avoid what people think of as "overthinking" talk, even if it's not overthinking for us :)
Thank you Happy Katou. Well said.
thanks for remembering the hyposensitivity, hypersensitivity is so talked about that I thought i couldn't have autism because i wasn't super sensitive to light, sound, and smells
I am currently in the process of my ASD assessment and I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety about it. I have been worried that I have being lying to myself and others for attention because of all of the stereotypes that I do not fit in. This video has really made me feel valid because I identify with everything you say. Thank you so much for this video it has been really helpful. I am 15 and this is the point where friendships get very confusing and my neurodiverse brain can’t even figure out how to make friends! Once again, thank you this has really helped me understand myself more.
did you get diagnosed?
@@kawosdhdos I haven’t finished the assessments yet, they could take up to ten weeks.
@@kawosdhdos yooo i just got my diagnosis and i am autistic 👍
@@Erindvy dope! Great timing actually because during those months, i was also in the process of getting diagnosed with autism. I got diagnosed with it by a nurse but since my parents and i arent sure, we took it to specialists and the whole process was slow and took like 2 months but in thursday or a week or so, theyll tell me if they think i have autism or not
@@Erindvy ill try to update you as well
I’m beginning my journey towards being diagnosed, but when you said the part about special interests being “all you want to talk about. It’s like being in love with a topic” I literally burst into tears because I’ve never felt so seen in my entire life.
Doc Oyalo can reverse autism with herbs and it’s completely perfect. I used it for my son and so far his speech is verbal and social skill is normal and he can now also respond to everything positively on his own.
This! I often times say I'd be happy to just be left alone so I can focus on my coding skills but I think this is an understatement.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
Came here to comment this as well. Had never thought to compare my deep interests to love or infatuation, but it is a perfect description
@@bolinhong2598 ew
Special interests are pathologized when they interfere with other activities or day to day living. We can be so obsessed that we will work on it and not eat all day. Or not take care of other responsibilities.
That’s me when I would research twenty one pilots stuff all day instead of studying or sleeping 🥴
skating and not feeling hungry or sleepy and losing a shit ton of weight and talking about it to peers all the time. my dad called me one dimensional
Yes! I can lose whole days in my special interests when I’m meant to be doing other stuff. I’m doing that right now.
I agree, though I wouldn't even say the criterium actually is meant to Pathologize. Who says that normal is good and abnormal is bad? Normal just means it's in the norm, in average. Abnormal / excessive just means there is more interest in a thing than the average person would have. If it's causing impairment or not, is decided in another criterion.
@@anastasia3811 Agree. It's about outliers, I would say. A good example of normal not necessarily always meaning a great thing: It is normal to earn £26k a year (I know, I know), while it is abnormal to earn £500k a year - yet there are people who do (and more). I guess the difficulty is with the language: 'normal' is simply statistical terminology*, but we've adopted it into everyday language, using it to me 'good' or 'acceptable'. I have no problem with the word 'abnormal' (having been forced to study stats as part of a module at uni) - but totally get while many people get upset about what they believe abnormal is implying. (*frequently shown by a bellcurve of plotted data, with the 'norm' being represented by anything one standard deviation away from the centre - I think!)
I am watching this video because I have selective mutism and am very nervous about my autism screening. So many things you said here just describe me! I have always felt so different, but I really feel heard and understood here. Thank you.
14:08 "It's like being in love with a topic" hit me so hard, that's exactly what my life is like. I can map out my life by obsessions. I've never had a diagnosis, and it's taken me decades to realize my obsession of the era might be special interests.
I still do that with the smiling. Sometimes I even giggle when I tell someone that my own son died. I realise that this is strange behaviour but I cannot stop it
I'm so sorry that happened.
Do you smile in other scenarios to hide/mask discomfort? I could imagine that smiling is learned behaviour to hide social discomfort when not fitting in, but that the reflex also activates in more extreme settings. The neurotypical then ascribe a different meaning by projecting their behaviour on yours and they become confused.
i’ve done this since i was a kid, and i always felt like it made me a terrible person (and people around me told me so.) i’m glad i’m not alone in this
1 I'm sorry that you went through that 2 if someone who thinks you're being terrible for giggling, tell them that you're having "galgen humor". its basically when you laugh in times of danger. danger could be, in this situation, emotions. you can google it and see if it fits :)
@@oxin1099 I've done this, told my teacher that it's "laughter of sadness" (a rough translation). But don't think this will work with most people, especially if you're actually delivering a sad news. In my case it was just not being able to answer most things at an exam, but it didn't matter too much to me.
I never knew making animals noises was something akin to that. I am on the spectrum and my fascination is vocal performance. I think singing is my self-stim because I can do it and forget about time itself because I’m so enveloped into it (to the point where I’ve had neighbors complain about me lol).
Doc Oyalo can reverse autism with herbs and it’s completely perfect. I used it for my son and so far his speech is verbal and social skill is normal and he can now also respond to everything positively on his own.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I can remember so many times where me and my mom are just trying to replicate animal noises! I didn’t know that either!
X i sing while I'm working and customers have actually complained on me...i make up my own lyrics since i don't know what the singer said.
Omg is this why i used to meow to my roommates cats all the time b4 she moved out & copy their meows, to the point where 1 of her cats started copying MY meow, id do a triple meow to him like wa-wa-waaw and he'd respond wa-waaaw 🥺 or he'd stand at my door when it was closed and go wa-waaaw cuz he couldn't do it 3 times in a row like me 😭 i miss them...
Someone said to answer the questions in your evaluation as if it were your worst day ever. I think that’s pretty smart!
The category D thing definitely is the main reason my parents never took me to get evaluated for autism or adhd. I was homeschooled and take after my dad, so my traits were accommodated and I was encouraged to be myself. My life was never impaired by my neurodivergence. But like, I wish it didn’t take struggling in college to get a diagnosis. I wish I had known ahead of time so I could’ve prepared and adapted better.
I've had my diagnose all my life and still spent most of my high school, college and uni years being a total mess, living from burnout to burnout. It only stopped recently when I got recognition for my autism being dibillitating enough to require financial support (since, ya know, I can't hold a job).
At 5:18 🤣 “Don’t feel bad if you zoned out for awhile cuz I just did while filming”. I sooo zoned out & I was even thinking about how I sometimes zone out. 🤣🤣❤️💯
Did she say that!? Bless her heart!!! 🤗 ty for pointing this out.
I fall into many of these categories, but as I got older, I realized I was different and learned to adjust to how other people behaved. I thought that was a normal part of growing up.
Doc Oyalo can reverse autism with herbs and it’s completely perfect. I used it for my son and so far his speech is verbal and social skill is normal and he can now also respond to everything positively on his own.
@@bolinhong2598 love how ppl didn’t event take the time to reply to this rubbish
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
im sorry but if you were really autistic you would not think you were autistic. you would think that everyone is different than you are. you can say to someone i think i am autistic. but you never really know. that is the difference between people who self dx and people who seek help. Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning. from the DSM 5TR. people say (when i quote the DSM) "i do not trust the DSM". but yet the research (places) they do uses the DSM and quotes the DSM. i grew up looking down and never making eye contact. in remedial classes of school, a scrunch nose tic, tapping my fingers all the time (even to the point it became rhythmic but only to me). extremely shy and soft voice talking under tone, bad body posture. i wrote suicide poetry and loner wierd strange poetry. (my poetry is online). i talked about hurting others that hurt me & being hurt in my poetry.
@@davinadavina1331 nice gatekeeping!👏🏼
I’ve always got something that I’m hyper focused on, or an interest that I can’t let go of until I get bored of it. I never took the time to look into autism; I always knew I was a little strange and it was probably odd that I was constantly forcing myself to speak in social situations (in my head I’m always like “there’s no way other people have to think this hard to just have a conversation, right?”), or that I literally could never take pictures outside because I’d be squinting, whether it was sunny or cloudy outside, or that I would aggressively twitch any time I heard a loud, sudden noise, or that I have such a hard time maintaining friendships because my social battery will run out and won’t recharge for weeks or even months so I just don’t go out of my way to speak to them because I don’t know what to say, or that I’m constantly chewing my nails, picking at the skin on my fingers, or even on my face, or that I don’t know how to express myself in almost any situation (if I’m uncomfortable, I won’t say anything. If I don’t like something somebody else is doing, I have to literally force the words out of my mouth. If I simply don’t like someone, I have to literally ask other people, “what do I do if I don’t want to be friends with this person anymore?”. If I’m in a situation that grants nonverbal communication, i.e. facial expressions, I have to focus really hard just to make a facial expression that’s suitable for the situation. If I’m meeting up with someone I already know or meeting someone for the first time, I don’t know what to say, even if it’s something simple like “hey, it’s good to see you again!” or “hi, it’s nice to meet you” I always feel like I have to wait for them to say something first so that I know that the introduction I’m making is proper and socially acceptable). I’m so worried about being embarrassed socially because it makes it so much harder for me to continue to socialize. If I say something wrong and people just kind of look at me, but say nothing…? I get super uncomfortable, and I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I worry that they simply won’t want to talk to me at all, which discourages me from continuing to make social efforts and I will be completely awkward for the rest of the social gathering in fear that I’ve read the other person wrong. Sometimes I’ll fail to say anything at all. Someone will say something to me and I have no idea what to say in response so I’ll just kind of look at them sideways, and repeat what they said back at them because… It’s better than saying nothing? I guess. I just kind of always knew all of this was weird or different, but I never mentally acknowledged that it actually meant something. I’ve been afraid to accept that I could actually, in fact, be different, because there is a lot of shame and misunderstanding when it comes to mental disorders, especially autism. Many of my past friends had made jokes like “haha I think I’m autistic” just because they did something dumb or said something dumb. They’ll act a little funny and laugh about it, saying “lol im retarded, I think I have autism!” and I have just felt like I would feel so much shame if I were actually diagnosed. It’s one thing to joke about being autistic and a whole other thing to actually be. I’d be worried people would look at me different. I’d probably look at myself different. Like you said, it’s so hard to be proud and confident about yourself when so much of this is all negative and is seen as ways in which you are “lacking” where other people are not. I need to go see a therapist, but I’ve been putting it off for so long for this reason. It’s scary. I know I’m different in my own mind but to actually have a real diagnosis requires accepting it and I think that’s what I’m most afraid of. I’ve been “normal” for so long…. Thank you for this content. I’ve been restlessly looking into autism for days now and the more videos I see, the more I’m sure that I am likely autistic as well, although I’ve not been diagnosed. At least I can mentally prepare myself for if/when I do get the diagnosis. ❤️
man you are describing my life experience
Ive spent the last few months researching autism and i think i have it. I spent the whole night tonight listing symptoms, doing online tests, and even watching this video and writing down the symptoms i experience in each caterogy. And with all of it, i feel even more that i have it. Im gonna try and talk with my doctor, but im scared they wont listen. I was diagnosed with ADHD late because i do good in school and i fear, because of all the stereotypes, that i will be overlooked because of it. I may not need a diagnosis.. but i want to understand why i feel so alien and so alone all the time and this would make it make sense.
"Lining up objects" "I can't relate" I say as I'm meticulously separating in different colours of thread from a cross-stitch kit, in addition to putting knots in them to keep them separated
My son have suffered autism spectrum since childhood and Have battled with it all his life. But recently taking of Dr Oyalo herbs have help his get rid of it completely, his speech is vibal and his social skill is perfect. I’m so glad and happy now
I used to grab pencils from my peers and pile them in interesting ways.
Oh that point means to order stuff? I guess as an perfectionist i fullfill that point xD
Not me arranging all the apps on my phone by color 👀
@@leahwilson9152 Omg no I do that too!! Sort of.. The pre-installed apps are all on the first page so I just kind of LEAVE them as is. They have to come in factory order you know 😆But then the first page with my most frequently-used installed apps is colour-ordered. The other pages have ordering by function :')
I love how your videos get better and better. I prefer shorter more "get to the point" videos.
Sarah Kay Shorter video 10 minutes are better for the you tube alga rhymns. But this video is a exception. Because it a long winded topic the DSM5 criteria for autism spectrum disorder. As I put in the above comment. Samdy didn't mention levels. Which are support needs used by clinician like Attwood clinic in Australia. So the term classic autism doesn't exist in the DSM5. It now Autism Spectrum disorder level 3 which very high support needs. Then level 1 (formerly aspergers) needs supports but less support then levels 2 and 3. Actually the mild autism video Samdy did. Said about levels of autism from a clinician view point.
Every video on KZhead should be "get to the point" videos
And that's on being an Aspien.
@@LylaD05 Serioisly!
Amen. I hate videos that start with someone making coffee and walking across their house because they want to experiment with B roll. Or worse, rambling before they get to the point m.
I don’t know how I haven’t been diagnosed already. I’m 42 and my therapist had this as a passing thought. I read and watch videos like this and I’m checking off every symptom. This completely explains me.
I was diagnosed in my late 20s. It suddenly made my whole life make sense. I had always known there was something very different about me but didn’t know what until the diagnosis.
kzhead.info/tools/L8Tawls84nezPDtqOzOfCg.html 👆use the link to get the best herbal remedy for ASD this doc herbs has helped my child and since I used his herbs my child is now verbal and his social skill has improved. My child call dad, mama and what he wants.
I just got diagnosed at 30. I spent my life feeling weird or foreign... a freak, broken, not good enough. My therapist asked me to replace "good enough" with "normal enough" and that... basically opened the door wide to what was really going on with me. It wasn't that I was weird or broken - it was that I didn't fit in with the societal expectations that run our world. I have had frequent bouts of depression, anxiety, and deep sadness at random moments as a result of subconscious masking my entire life. I made so many attempts to be "normal" and when it still failed, I crashed pretty hard in my late 20s. Now that I know I'm autistic, it's such a relief. I don't feel the need to fit into what society expects because I am outside of that expectation, and there's a true medical/neuological reason WHY. It was so freeing. I'm happy to be autistic and I'm glad you made this video - thank you :)
holy shit. your therapist's words just gave me a whoooole lot to think about... thanks so much for sharing!
It's interesting to me how frustrated you were with this model of diagnosis. I'm an adult female, and I was diagnosed less than a year ago. Since then, I've consistently been questioning the validity of my diagnosis, because most everyone I tell about my diagnosis has been surprised and even skeptical. Hearing you go through the diagnosis criteria was reassuring for me, because while I don't tick all of the boxes, I at least tick some for each category. And in a way, I appreciated exactly the aspects you disliked about the criteria - the phrasing in the criteria as 'abnormalities' or 'unusual' or 'deficits'. I've become so frustrated with people I tell about my autism insisting that I "seem so normal" and that they "couldn't see" and/or "can't believe" that it's something I "might" be. So for me, the phrasing of autistic traits as an abnormality or a deficit provides me affirmation for the struggles I've faced by being autistic in a non-autistic society (and apparently being so effective at masking that no one even knew I was struggling). On the other hand, I do understand your perspective, and I thought you articulated it very well. While I was not offended by the same points you were, I can heartily agree with you that there is too much dissemination of misinformation about autism, and that it would be better for all autistic people if society were better informed about what autism entails. Thanks for your very informative video, I enjoyed it a lot!
Don't forget that: a) DSM-5 still has a long way to go before its criteria fully cover all the different presentations of autism - notably how it presents in very many women. (It's not a male vs female thing, but current criteria disproportionately discriminate against girls and women.) b) most people know nothing about autism, other than the very outdated stereotypes that are still peddaled out by the media. Hell, most clinicians know very little about it! I'd simply respond by saying, 'We know much more about autism these days...'. Then turn it on its head: if somebody told you that they had cancer, would you say to them 'Oh, you don't look as if you've got cancer!', or 'Who told you that?', or 'My uncle had cancer, and your symptoms aren't like his at all...' c) there are numerous genes (also environmental causes) implicated in changing our neurology. Figures vary, but I've read between 100 and 500 genes: so it's logical that depending on which bit of which gene (and whether there's a deletion or duplication or rearrangement of part of each one) is affected will impact upon which bit of our brain is slightly rewired. "When you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism..."
I’ve been diagnosed with ASD earlier this year when I was 25. I’m now 26 and living with my diagnosis has helped me to understand myself but yes I totally agree a lot of people have told me I’m normal and I don’t seem to struggle - it’s because they only see the “mask” and don’t know how we hide how we feel until we come home unfortunately.. They don’t see the anxiety, depression, meltdowns, shut downs, stimming etc... they only see the “mask” - we’ve become so good of an actor that we have mastered what it’s like to be considered normal in front of others until we come home and then feeling completed drained because you held it in all day 😭😭😭😭😭😭
My son have suffered autism spectrum since childhood and Have battled with it all his life. But recently taking of Dr Oyalo herbs have help his get rid of it completely, his speech is vibal and his social skill is perfect. I’m so glad and happy now
For category D I totally relate. The one(and probably only) therapist I’ve ever regarding autism basically told me that. I got the vibe that she was annoyed and I was wasting her time. At one point she asked(paraphrasing), “Well, if it doesn’t really affect you that much, then why do you care?” I guess she has a point, but like, damn. So I just stopped going to the meetings.
I have been questioning this for months. I have an adhd diagnosis. My entire family is neurodiverse. I remember being shamed into hiding my stims and I think I have just adapted to fit in. Thank you for this. Lots of questions answered here.
i’m so confused. i’ve been doing a bunch of research into autism, specifically in girls, recently as i had a feeling i might be on the spectrum. but i spoke to my mum about it and i was struggling to explain it as i thought she might brush me off and say i shouldn’t self diagnose something like that but while she did listen, she also said she never picked up on traits when i was younger. looking at the research i’ve done i really relate to pretty much everything that females with autism have but i’m so scared to get a diagnosis as i don’t want them to tell me i don’t have it. if my mum never saw these traits in me as a child then does that mean i probably don’t have it? or did i not explain them enough to her, i wasn’t explaining things well i know. or have i always been good at masking? i have no idea what to do but i’d really like a diagnosis just to show me i’m not just weird. that there’s a reason i struggle with life sometimes and things others find easy. another thing, i dont know if i’m struggling “enough” to get a diagnosis. i definitely have really bad sensory issues and i really struggle with social situations but i don’t know if it’s affecting my life enough to warrant getting a diagnosis. will getting it even make a difference? i’m 17 so i’m in my last year of school, i’ve got this far without a diagnosis so will it really benefit me all that much? i just don’t know what to do.
i'm in a similar spot (but in my 30s) does your mum have similar traits? mine does and i'm wondering if she missed some oddities because she considers them normal (also if something wasnt disruptive, she didnt consider it a problem and doesnt really remember it)
My mom shut down an avenue of diagnosis when I was 10, I only learned about at 22 and I have been hinting at the topic since like 15!
I'm at a similar phase... I'm getting diagnosed on February 24th, my psychologyst and psychiatrist said that they think I'm not autistic, mostly because I'm high functioning and a woman, but I still have all the points of this video checked. My parents never noticed I have a problem, but they did think that I was different. I'm afraid of getting a "you're not autistic", because I finally think I understood everything, and I could finally say "I can't/don't want to do that because I'm autistic"
Maybe the reason your mom never noticed is because she was doing her job and making your life comfortable, aka parenting. In that case college/uni/work is going to be way different than school. Like don’t necessarily assume “functioning well” while living with your parents will apply to the rest of life
this is exactly me right now
I actually have no friends anymore, just because I've struggled to make any over the last several years, and lost (moved, drifted, betrayed me) all of the ones from childhood. Anyone else completely alone? I would have hoped to have at least one friend with common interests that I could talk to sometimes, but then that passes, and I get on with my routines and work. 🤔
I think I could call myself as being alone besides my SO. I have childhood C-PTSD and I moved to another country. I started a degree, but thanks to covid I have met my new peers only shortly. Also I am anyway not good at making friends. The ones I had back in my homecountry lived far away from me and we didn't had consistent and a lot of contact. I am really bad at keeping up contact qoth people, I don't know if it is because I have terrible time management and I am so distracted by/with myself or so ething else.
Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.
I have reached that point. I deleted my FB a bit over half a year ago and Instagram about a week ago. Reason being that no one was really interacting or talking with me anymore. I got more obsessed with mathematical physics and such, which drove the last few friends I had away. I get manic when I talk about topics of interest. It's not that I don't listen to others or don't want them to talk to me, but I also drive most others away because I absolutely become discomforted with small talk and repetitive, simulated behavior for the sake of conforming. I'm sure this all sounds obnoxious, and I'm sure it plays into why I lack friends. However, I'm learning to accept the isolation that will come when my immediate family isn't around me. The only people I feel I fit in with usually end up having autism or Borderline-Personality Disorder.
Yes that is my life now. I only interact with people from my church and on Facebook with the friends I left behind in California. I honestly can say that I haven't made a single friend since I left Los Angeles, California where I lived my entire life until I followed my immediate family members to Knoxville TN. I left CA because I couldn't handle living without my parents being 30 minutes away from me.
Yeah, I dont have any friends either, lost my online friends over time and my one inrl friend stopped talking to me, I only have my sis in my life. Making friends certainly is a struggle.
I’m pretty sure I’m autistic but I’m terrified of going through the diagnosis process. This helps me understand things a bit more, thank you.
don't go, it eon't help. Inadequate person going to get a label " inadequate"???? No need
@@svetavinogradova4243 I don't agree with that. My motivations for getting a diagnosis would be to make me more "qualified" in understanding it in myself and others. Anyway, my reason for not getting a diagnosis is I would have to spend $700+. That's not worth it for me. I'm definitely autistic though. So, as long as I know that, it doesn't matter (for now). You don't need a formal diagnosis to tick the disability disclosure box anyway.
@@cubicinfinity2 Getting a diagnosis does not explain anything - it is a mere label for your behavioral problems. Problems present? = diagnosis " problems present".
For B2 when you said you didn’t relate as much the the inflexibility I felt so validated! I fit so many other autistic symptoms, but i am constantly battling with myself about if I actually am autistic, because Although i struggle a lot with change, i don’t have a daily routine that i stick to strictly, and i often find repetitiveness in tasks i’m doing almost painful. Saying that you also don’t identify a lot with this symptom gave me confidence, and less like I was subconsciously faking it just because i didn’t identify with this one trait. Edit: what you said about transitions from tasks and changes in routine building up, helped me realise how much I identify with that
"a lot of meowing" Well that caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting that to be a thing at all, but I feel uncomfortably targeted by that statement lol
😂😂😂 "meeoow??" I literally fight doing that because I understand that it's not socially acceptable, but I still get the urge! 😂😂
I’m literally crying... I can relate to everything you said ... I’ve always felt that I’m not normal and that I “don’t fit in” even with my family Actually my family do sometimes joke about me having autism but it wasn’t a serious topic My little brother has low functioning autism and they probably wouldn’t believe that I might really be autistic cuz I’m so different from him .. I want to tell my family but I’m too afraid that they won’t accept that fact and just ignore me I feel so lost and idk what to do 😭
Im in the exact same situation, except its my uncle who's possibly autistic (i say possibly bc they knew but never got him an actual diagnosis) so i know it is a family thing but I'm too scared to day anything
Same
Exactly, autism is very common in my family, I have multiple relatives and a sister diagnosed, and I show all the signs/have been assessed with a likely indication, but I'm worried no one will believe me. This is because everyone else is very low functioning and dependent on other family members whereas i am high functioning, but with several social and processing issues.
Doc Oyalo can reverse autism with herbs and it’s completely perfect. I used it for my son and so far his speech is verbal and social skill is normal and he can now also respond to everything positively on his own.
There is a Dr that you can get in touch with (Dr Oyalo) on KZhead. Am excited to share about how his herbs works perfectly in reversing my son autism. now he is herbal with his behavior ok and he can now obey instructions. the herbs has been a positive impact on his and i recommend to everyone too.
Your breakdowns are so insightful and brilliantly put. I can't express in words how much I appreciate this. Thank you 💞
I think this is the clearest explanation I've come across and I love the way you view things and that you want them to be better and analyse their flaws. Which is something I often get in trouble for because people don't like to hear about what is going wrong and could be improved upon! >__
I'm discussing this on my podcast, but so many of these signs overlap with CPTSD and I keep noticing over and over again that therapists and clinicians inexperienced with it misdiagnose it as ASD OR don't diagnose it ALONGSIDE ASD. It's a huge issue that many people who have ASD and CPTSD are attributing all their issues to ASD just because a clinician is ignorant about CPTSD. I'm really working to raise awareness about this among professionals and clients. A huge issue is that many clinicians themselves have CPTSD themselves and thus are unable to delve into family histories that have produced it. Alice Miller's books are good for understanding this. Even though her work is from a psychoanalytic perspective, it is useful if you read it from a lense of CPTSD/complex trauma. CPTSD IS a neurological disorder, and people need to understand that trauma (including constant, regular trauma) rewires the brain, and even EMOTIONAL abuse in childhood can cause it. But so many clinicians don't even recognize/haven't grieved trauma in their own lives and thus actively minimize it/subconsciously reject seeing it in their clients.
I have C-PTSD and from my 18th untill my 31s in therapy they have diagnosed me with; ERD(previously borderline) bipolar, schitzo-affective, dysthymia, GAD, social anxieties, and the cherry on top; antisocialpersonality disorder. At 27 ONE paych said; i think all these dont apply and you have ASD. I got the diagnosis and all the others were scrapped. And then i gave up. My trust in professionals is all gone. Last year i accepted CPTSD and i got a trauma psychiatrist that would help me through but i was not able to talk about it and my Selective mutism kicked in when i came close to be able to talk about my youth. So. I ran away from all the pros and am now 2 years free of “help” In my country theres a dude fighting the childcare-system. I was watching his documentary and somewhat at the end he states he thinks he does not have autism but that it all comes from trauma. And at first i scoffed because he was putting rubiks cubes in laboratory glasses as a gift for his professionals. But it made me think and think and think and think. At least i have both. So thank you for your comment! It was very validating for my struggle at the moment
@Squeegee Your Third Eye Don’t compare autism and cptsd to ‘empathy’s’ and introverts. Those aren’t even close. Two are actual diagnosis, two are social media quirk tags.
Thank you! This is basically what my therapist said. The trauma I experienced with emotional abuse for many many years combined with the trauma of undiagnosed adhd and all the expectations to be normal have caused me anxiety and many of the same issues that people with autism experience. ADHD, trauma, anxiety, when combined can create very very similar symptoms (and really everyone with autism has symptoms that vary) as ASD.
CPTSD is absolutely a neurological disorder classifying the sufferers as neurodivergent. I am self-diagnosed with CPTSD, ADHD and Autism (can't get any of the three diagnosed where I live) and some of the differences are so subtle that I can understand the frequent misdiagnosis or the lack of comorbidity dignosis especially given that the area is only now beginning to be more broadly studied. I am really hoping the increased talk on these topics that we see online in the past few years will lead to a grow in awarness and in research and care for sufferers. Personally, for lack of local ressources, I get all my information online and from the books of the likes of Bessel van der Kolk and Gabor Mate so that's a start but much more is needed.
hey, i know it's been a while, but can you share your podcast? i'd love to learn more about comorbidity of cptsd and asd,,,
I love this. People also forget that PTSD in children, or children that have a high ACE count show similar symptoms to both ASD and ADHD. PTSD in childhood can wear many masks.
Doc Oyalo can reverse autism with herbs and it’s completely perfect. I used it for my son and so far his speech is verbal and social skill is normal and he can now also respond to everything positively on his own.
@Terri Coleson It's a bot, please report it as spam
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
It's called CPTSD. It's very interesting. Read all the books by, I think, Gary Baer about Real Love. EXCELLENT.
@Terri Coleson I'm really sorry to hear that, but also glad that you have people who get you. I also have CPTSD and most likely ASD and I also have a group that supports me and vice versa who all have the same or similar issues. It's been a life saver for me, quite literally.
I love you. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I got an adhd diagnosis a few years ago around 21yo and it's been super helpful. Watching your videos has really broadened my perspective on autism and I'm almost certain I have that as well. I always attributed some symptoms to being close to those with asd (my whole family, more noticeable on one sibling). Recently I learned to attribute them to my adhd but now I understand that I very likely have both and understanding my own mind is a joy 🥰
Thank you. I have just found your channel and I started crying twards the end of this video because you have shone a light on some aspects that I have struggled with but never understood.
oh GOD i think i am autistic :D every single ~online test~ showed i was sorta close but not there. but i relate a lot to the criteria? child me was even more so? HMMM
same here but i'm super anxious for some reason when i think abt it
YEAH
adhd is half a mimik or more at times...especially if it's compounded with other things.. not unheard of for a score of 5 or 6 on the aq10 with adhd rather than autism...
@@allenbrodess8510 I 've been watching videos about both, and I identify with half and half, but I dont know if trying to get diagnosed is useful or worthy
@@Apple666maya autism+ adhd isnt unheard of. That really depends on your situtation in many ways...how will others respond...DO you feel you need any therapy or treatment or government assistances where available?If you have reason to think you might then maybe it'd be good to prep....Do you have trouble explaining yourself getting around life keeping a schedule keeping up on choirs and all that? Do you want the label ...are you willing to disclose it as you put in applications to places ?.do you have insurance or the means to get the couple thousand it is likely to cost or some funding program available to you? My private diag is fitting to cost me about $2000 us potential even more which is also something to consider depening on how your insurance sets it up mine the process would have taken like 100 visits and years as they only want to pay for 15 minute sessions while a adi-r alone is 90-150 minutes the wisc-v an hour plus the observational crap just as long the patient report and they also wanted to address the 'co-occuring' stuff first as well... Not to discourage ya and even if you don't want those assistances you can think about others too the more diaged the more public focus there will be most likely the more likely the neighbor kid will be recognized and helped as more around you arent thinking in the extreme stereotypical view only./. good chance you are not 'the rain man' or centered around the horrors autism speaks likes to make seem like the entire package at times if you've made it to adulthood..maybe not tho diaged adhd @ 3 didn't catch autism till 32/33 when I researched it myself.
Autism is currently my special interest I have been researching and learning about it and realizing more and more that I think I am autistic. Your videos have helped me learn more than many other articles and videos.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
Same here. I've been obsessing over it for a month now, and while that may not seem like a long time, I experience alot of time blindness die to my adhd:')
@@juniormako6184 what do you mean by completely free?
Thank god I thought I was the only one
@@juniormako6184 why would you see autism like a prison for people ? You didn't free him, you probably gave him a bunch of crappy leaves.
the way you have recategorized routines, transitions & special interests has opened up the way i think about myself. i’ve been struggling to cope with the transition from college to adult life for almost two years now, when i was excelling in college and had my own routines and practices then. i also used to butterfly from group to group in elementary school, and some years had a schedule for who i would play with on the playground at recess on which days. my ‘routines’ now feel smaller but also still very important. i am also the kind of person who has had numerous intense interests that last weeks to months at a time, and can pop back up whenever i least expect it. i seem to cycle through the same interests over time thank you for explaining the DSM-5 so well! it’s been very helpful.
My son have suffered autism spectrum since childhood and Have battled with it all his life. But recently taking of Dr Oyalo herbs have help his get rid of it completely, his speech is vibal and his social skill is perfect. I’m so glad and happy now
I'm not particularly trying to get diagnosed but I am just generally interested in the topic. The most telling sign for me is how much I relate to you! Nice and complete video, thanks!
My partner is diagnosed with autism, and when I met him I felt like he was someone who actually understood me and he felt the same way about me. The more I've learned about autism and particularly how it can present differently for different people, I've started to suspect that I also have autism but have gone undiagnosed into adulthood. I'm currently looking for a therapist who will take my concerns seriously. No one believes me because I'm a "normal girl." 🙃
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
@@juniormako6184 Giving untested herbs to a kid with the explicit intention of changing their behavior is extremely irresponsible. Your anecdote isn't placebo controlled and is not sufficient justification to promote this potentially dangerous behavior.
@@garethbaus5471 they’re a spambot
@@LGrian Probably.
Try to come off to your therapists as if someone else told you to come to them about autism. “My boyfriend told me to see you about autism. I don’t know, I don’t really see it, but maybe you could help me?” It lowers their guard and makes them take you seriously.
I was diagnosed a year ago at age 62...the older I’ve gotten, the worse my obvious autistic symptoms became and continue to become...which is what prompted me to seek diagnosis...it was a double edged sword...I am more able to be kind to myself and accept my “shortcomings” as being me...I no longer stress about my lack of executive function... Great video!...
off topic but i LOVE your username 😂
My son have suffered autism spectrum since childhood and Have battled with it all his life. But recently taking of Dr Oyalo herbs have help his get rid of it completely, his speech is vibal and his social skill is perfect. I’m so glad and happy now
I'm doing my psychology essay on ASD and also am looking to get a diagnosis for myself and I just wanted to say that this video and all your videos in general are very helpful. I'm very grateful for the information you are providing. Thankyou so much!!
At 42, I have been diagnosed with it, and including this video, there's a lot that I've learned which makes me look back as far as childhood, and confirm that it's been with me for that long. Friends that understand it and/or diagnosed with it have also agreed with me whenever I've said that it's not a death sentence, and that it's more of a way to understand who you are and how to move in the world that's still starting to understand what autism is, and how to move with people aware of it in themselves.
I keep going back and forth about whether it's worth asking a doctor about myself, and then I'll hear one of your videos where I only seem to adhere to half the points, so I tell myself it's big deal. And suddenly you say something super specific to me like "they do alot of meowing " and I'm just like...(o.o... my entire life right there...)
It's so hard to talk about autism because for every one of my traits, another autistic person might have an opposite and extreme trait. I also relate to many ADHD traits (undiagnosed), which makes me perhaps seem different from those with regular flavoured autism.
I haven’t been diagnosed but I was led to you after having a break down over not being able to talk to people when all I wanted to do was talk. It was amazingly crazy how fast I was led to your video that very next day and I just felt like I finally made sense. I’m usually such a hypochondriac but I didn’t wanna self diagnose with this autism thing. I dk why. Maybe because I believe it’s actually real lol. Most of everything else is often over identifying and is anxiety driven for me. But this just feels so different. My point is, in my whole 33 years, listening to you talk is the most I’ve ever felt like I belonged and made sense, and I guess it really doesn’t matter what’s wrong with me, or what’s right with me... I just appreciate that. I am thankful for this experience, regardless of the details. Thank you so much for sharing and doing your thing. I look up to you putting yourself out there like this and hope I can follow your lead. 🤍
I have the exact same feeling. You're not alone anymore!!
You took the words right out of my head!!
People need to inform themselves about ‚Autism Speaks’ and it’s Horrors. WIIILD Misconceptions fly around and Hollywood doesnt help; so much so that ‚Hollywood Autism’ has become a Term to describe ‚Unexplained Superpowers posseses by a Character just cause of Autism’. There’s Essays out there and recommending such Essays after watching them is NOT Spam. It’s ok and even helpful to spread such Videos.
I really loved this video, thank you for making it. It was so nice that you for each criteria made sure to specifically say that your experiences aren't the only ones that are valid.
So glad I got the best treatment for my autistic son who is only 4 years old I've been using Dr Oyalo Herbal medicine and it has been really helpful,💯 his speech has improved completely
thank you so much for pointing out that childhood might be easy and the hardships starts during adolescence because that what I experienced and I always felt that I'm not autistic enough because it didnt show much in my childhood truly thank you it's such a relief to hear it from someone else
I was never diagnosed as aspergers or autistic BUT I've been having many of the symptoms you're talking about here. This thing about 'facial expression' being out of sync with how you're feeling, and sometimes complete contrary to the 'situation'. Like the example of you telling a friend princess diana died with a smile. I think there are a few possible explanations for this: 1) You try to 'mask' the feeling of sadness, so you smile instead as it to tell 'yeh its sad but I don't want to make YOU feel sad so I'll smile and pretend everythings ok' - it may come off as insensitive. 2) You don't want to annoy the person infront of you and get rejected - so you smile as in a half joke way - it can also be seen as insensitive. 3) Nervous smile 'I dont know how to feel' kind of smile, which, again, can be perceieved as insensitive. 4) You being unsure / out of touch with your emotions - in a shock kind of way you don't how 'what' to feel, so the default is the 'friendly smile / expression', in a blank wall kind of way. I get such responses from my friends / family all the time. They think I'm being an insensitive jerk where in fact I feel very strongly, get really sad, really offended, and so on. And yet my facial expression and body language is percieved as "I don't care" Which is the exact opposite of what I'm feeling or wanting to convey. During many conversations people get offended when they see my 'dismissive' face. Thinking I'm not listening to them. Where in fact that IS my very intent 'oh...very interesting I'm thinking about what you're saying' face. It comes off as exact opposite.
i was almost completely disregarded for being autistic during my diagnosis based purely on the fact that i have friends (who are all also autistic) and honestly they kind of ignored the things i was saying about 95% of my friendships being internet based there were a whole bunch of things i wanted to add but my brain is currently a thoughts smoothie but! the basis of it was that absolutely! the way autism is defined by "being bad at things" and it only seeming to exist once harm has happened (due to not getting support beforehand) is just! terrible!
ah! i remembered one thing i was going to say! and that i generally seem to understand gestures and facial/body expressions of other autistic people Really Well! and a fair few of my autistic friends have said similar! wondered how that might be for other people? (goes without saying that neurotypicals are a lot harder, often it's only very broad, eg i can tell if they're feeling a bad emotion but.. not more defined than that)
Althie Nayta Cara That is interesting did you study body language as a child?
Gary Francis not at all! though think it sadly mostly comes down to being scared of being yelled at for why i know when people are feeling "bad".. it also means i get nervous a lot because even if someone is just upset, all i read is "bad" so i think they might be angry at me? it's honestly still extremely confusing.. other autistic people though! they make sense!
Althie Nayta Cara I was diagnosed and I have lots of friends. they are all great people, because they were the only ones capable of tolerating me enough to get to know me.
@@thieleaf_the_shelf_dragon I'm extremely good at recognising facial expressions and body language (scored scarily high on 'Reading the Minds Eye' theory of mind test). But I put that down to a) growing up with a mother whose mood changes used to terrify me, and b) people/psychology is one of my special interests: I've been a people watcher all my life and am always trying to work out what makes them tick. I think there are many autistics (women, notably, but some men, too) who *can* read facial gestures and body movement. Whether that's learnt or innate, I don't know. We're just waiting for DSM to catch up!
Earlier today I was trying to put into words the feeling that my special interest evokes in me since I was a kid (gymnastics/dancing/body movement) and I could only come up with “passion”. Then you said “it’s like being in love with a topic” and YES!!! It exactly defines it, thanks!
My son actually put his arms around me at Christmas 2 years ago. He was just about to have his 31st birthday. It wasn't a hug so to speak, but I had to hold back the tears until he went out the door, it was THE FIRST time he EVER did that, he is learning to mask, bless him! There was no book when he was born. School was a nightmare for both of us, but I have to say he is one of the bravest people I know, getting on that bus and going to school every day, even though he was sooooo uncomfortable. Autistic joy!!! What a wonderful phrase, I work with a young man who has many "deficits," but to see him jumping on his trampoline and smiling such a big smile, well, that phrase fits him!
I wouldn’t call learning to mask a good thing it has a massive negative impact on autists
When I was a kid sometimes I would smile when my parents were scolding me. This would make them angry and whatever was already happening would escalate. I don't think I've ever thought about that as an adult until watching this. Thank you so much for giving such a clear explanation.
I don't remember what happened but my friend's mom was reprimanding my friend and I and I laughed (not mocking) and it upset her.
I feel that so much, I have an historic since childhood of having bad behaviors of comrades, for instance, pinned of me and a panoply of accusations for various mischief, all in which I was innocent and didn't commit, simply because somehow my face thinks it is okay to grin for no reason at the most inappropriate of times XD And I remember all too clearly some of these instances, the times I was asked about the gesture I myself couldn't say why I was smiling, it's a more random occurrence than people give me credit for haha.
Okay this!! I would start LAUGHING no reason while my parents were mad at me.
I did the exact same thing!
Same i can't help but laugh/smile when I'm getting yelled or told off and that makes the situation worse. When I hear someone dies, it can even be someone really close to me, i smile/laugh even tho I'm obviously not happy about it. its so annoying.
I love most your criticisms of the convoluted wording in the document. Thanks, very informative!
Hello, I'm late diagnosed ( been like, 3 months ) and I just found your video. I just wanted to say thank you for your explanation, you talked about many things that I never had the chance to hear and it helped me a lot. like the point of breakdown that pushed me to look for help and arrive at a diagnoses, the way my safe childhood for the most part and my probably neuroatypical parents made probably my autism hidden longer. I also realised that my initial work that I had to stop because of burnout was probably a way for me to stim ( I was a lighting technician ). And finally the way to see special interests as a good thing, like, probably Allistic people will maybe never have the same experience as us to love a subject this much. Anyway, thanks once again. Have a beautiful day :) PS : Sorry for my english, it's not my mother's tongue
I never thought that (among other things I fall under) being entirely captivated by lights was a characteristic of people on the spectrum. I've always been in love with lights, which is why christmas is my favorite time of the year (there's pretty lights absolutely EVERYWHERE). Even in art school I made a video fully dedicated to my love for lights. Your videos have provided me so much support, as I am waiting to oficially get assessed on the possibility of being on the spectrum. These past few months have been harder and I've been noticing there's many things about me that seem very different from my peers, been told by some of my friends and family that I might be autistic, so now I'm just anxiously waiting for my appointment in a month from now
Me too! I'm so fascinated with lights, my sister gets annoyed when I keep stopping and pointing at all the pretty lights during Christmas lol. It's almost time again 😍😍
I hope to see you do a TED talk one day! ❤️❤️❤️
☺️
Yo Samdy Sam When mass gathering and social distancing are eased.
“A lot of autistic girls meow” I didn’t realise that was a thing! Because that’s me and I’m on the waiting list for a diagnosis (24 currently). I tick a lot of these so far. I have no idea what to say in response to what friendship is to me.... If I get that question, I hope they’re ready for 5 minutes of me saying nothing and thinking noises/movements 😳 Special interests: Good Charlotte (since I was 10 and still going), Pokemon (since the beginning, it’s very intense now, especially with the cards). I was previously very deep into the special interest of primates. Every inch of my wall was covered in pictures of prosimians, monkeys and apes. I watched documentaries and read any books I could get. I knew all of the residents at Monkey World by face/name (at the time). I’d make a squeal noise if I saw a picture of a primate, because I thought they were adorable.
I actually meow as well, and I call cats 'mew mews' also I have a habit of saying hello to dogs, cats and hedgehogs.😁
My son have suffered autism spectrum since childhood and Have battled with it all his life. But recently taking of Dr Oyalo herbs have help his get rid of it completely, his speech is vibal and his social skill is perfect. I’m so glad and happy now
I'm a 42 old male and I meow to my cat and she regularly meows back. Fun fact: I also do this with random cats and sometimes they meow back in exactly the same intonation. Interesting. I wonder what that means - obviously some form of communication... but what form?
@@zakzwijn8410 I know I would if I had a cat, but I will meow to any cat I meet and slow blink at them :) Then I’ll crouch/sit down, look off away and see if they come to my hand ☺️ I have no idea what this means, but I had a nap the other day and my partner said I sounded like a cat 🤣🤣 it may have been hay fever making my nose sound weird, but I’ve just embodied a cat at this point 🙈
I didn't know what to say about friendship either so what I managed to put together could be boiled down to "someone who can listen to me infodump and sometimes does things with me" because that's pretty much all my interactions in a nutshell. Ah, yes. Sometimes I meow or make weird noises whenever I want something. I seldom ask for things actually, mimicking most of the time.
Sam, it is really valuable that you listed your lived experience as a point of relevant knowledge that informs your commentary on the topic.
I'm so happy to have found your channel. Thanks for all you do!
I involuntarily smile when i am uncomfortable or talking about death/ grief and it really upsets people...
Extremely informative! Very thoughtfully presented. It is so useful to hear things described to people in clear terms, especially us neurodivergent folk who may not have the patience for DSM vagueness.
I really enjoy listening to you SO much. I'm here because I'm a 28yo female with (not yet officially diagnosed, but already 100% sure) ADHD and currently I'm deep diving online to educate myself as much as I can because psychology is one of my special interests - but in so many years of mental issues I was never able to put all of my symptoms together and see a bigger picture - until some months ago when I finally realized how wrong the popular concept of neurodiversity (especially ADHD and ASD) - which was and still is spread to society - is. Out of all sudden all my symptoms make sense to me now and I see where they come from. This is life changing, really. With the corrected conception of ADHD I found what I was looking for way too long. But as I pretty much relate to some creators sharing their experiences as diagnosed both with ADHD/autism, I'm still trying to figure out if autism plays a role in my brain too. Your videos are so helpful. And you're one of the very rare creators which I can listen to nearly without zoning out :D bc your speed of talking ist a gift to my brain - so is your ability to build your sentences. I'm obvsly not a native speaker (I'm German) but your videos aren't giving me a hard time to follow up with, thank you! 🥴btw: I just LOVE how you're calling out how those diagnosis criteria are making every single aspect look like a catastrophe when the only actual problem is that society isn't built up to suit our brains' way of working.
When I was 10 years old I was obsessed with space. I LOVED space.
I was assessed for autism in elementary school. I can’t remember exactly what the assessment said, but I remember digging it up a couple of years later when I was around nine or ten and coming away from it so distressed that this was how I came across to other people. I spent the next couple of years of my life trying to be as “normal” as I could and hating myself for not succeeding. I’m better at accepting myself now, but I really relate to your frustration with the deficit model.
Thank for the videos. I have been trying to get a diagnosis of ASD officially for my child since they were 2. They are 13 now and finally on the waitlist for evaluation. My brother and I are both most likely ASD, he just functions well enough with moms help and I had an utter breakdown.
Thank you for this....I think this is the best video I've seen in terms of wondering if I just have some traits or I'm likely to be professionally diagnosed (I'm 34). Watching this has put my mind at ease a bit that I think I will meet the diagnostic criteria. The only thing I think may make things more complicated is having had a complicated childhood including emotionally absent parental support. I guess I may just need more appointments for my assessment to pick apart where the behaviour comes from. I'm pretty sure though that the family emotional difficulties didn't really start until I was about 7 and I definitely shower social relationship issues way before then. At this point I'm so sure I'm autistic I actually don't know how I would cope if I was told I'm not because it seems to make so much sense to me and has allowed me to realise there are people out there who I can relate to and who think in a similar way. I want an official diagnosis because I think that would really help in terms of getting support to be able to hold down employment. I just don't want to build myself to being so sure of it then end up feeling completely invalidated if I'm told I don't meet the criteria for diagnosis. Not that I "want to be autistic" in the sense that obviously I'd rather not have the difficulties with change, social relationships and sensory overload but I feel these things aren't going anywhere so I want them to be identified under a category that allows myself and others to understand it better. 🤷♂️
“A lot of autistic people do a lot of meowing” * flashback to how I would meow to communicate until I was almost 11 * No one noticed? No one in my family thought that was a little off?
I used to bark/meow at people to “impress them” until someone took me aside and said that was “weird” and now i do it but only privately or in socially acceptable situations like playing with my pets
They probably noticed and just thought, "That's just Katie being Katie."
I'm a musician, and when I am trying to learn a piece of music I tend to sing the melody using "meow" rather than the words.
i love thinking about how i communicated as a kid, a friend and I created our own language that was basically just grunts - but the thing is, we could both completely understand each other.
I was actually recently in a study about diagnosing autism through EEG, seemed promising
Well that would be very interesting indeed!
I found an article a little while ago that compiled two studies that worked to make sense of the often contradictory findings of under- and overconnectivity in autistic brains. The answer: The connections just last longer. Which is why task switching is so difficult. Your brain is in a certain "mode" and the new task goes against that and so it is difficult to start it. And in the length of these connections lies also in how pronounced the autistic traits are. Here's the full article that does a good job at explaining the general idea and the findings: www.spectrumnews.org/news/communication-brain-may-remarkably-constant-autism/
Thank you so much for this video. I've been familiar with the DSM-5 criteria for a while now, but this individual breakdown, was extremely helpful. :)
About 2 years ago, the algorithm popped up this video and I dived head first down a rabbit hole which culminated in a positive diagnosis in July 2020 .. at age 48. Thank you so much Sam .. that diagnosis explained so much of my life experience and I would still be clouded by self doubt without having watched this.
Thank you, this was an extremely helpful video. 🙂 I have struggled my entire life socially and had constant meltdowns as a child, or when I entered relationships as an adult. My family and acquaintances has always told me "I'm weird" or "awkward", and I always felt out of place socially. Fast forward 30 years to about 4 days ago, when my wife (who has had to deal with my occasional meltdowns) told me that she has been trying to figure out why I felt so unhappy, even though our life is perfect. And she learned about autism. I have always needed her help whenever I had to deal with any social situations. She approves FB messages I send to family, I bring her when I need to meet people I know, and I can't go through any appointments with people of authority (bank, doctor, etc.) without bringing her along to "speak for me". When she read up on autism and showed me what it was, it was like reading a book about my life and everyday struggles. So I have spend a couple of days with her to learn more about autism, before I go get myself checked out by a professional. Going through your video, the only one I couldn't scream "YES" at, was the last 'Category B' requirement about 'Hyper sensory input', but everything else was a definitive yes for me. Especially the one you don't like (Category D) hehe, seeing that I can't do anything socially (except for grocery shopping) without bringing my wife along with me. 😅 To be honest I'm a bit scared to go get tested and be told that "i'm not autistic"... Because it would finally give me an answer to why I have struggled so much throughout my life. But I have taken every online test there is, read every article I could find, and I fit into them all nearly perfectly. So hopefully I'll get the answer I'm hoping for, so I can start figuring out some tools to get around my everyday issues. 🙂
It's actually really common for autistic folks that aren't diagnosed in childhood to feel this sense of "maybe I'm not really autistic", and then research it like only an autistic person would, and then still not feel confident in it. And still even sometimes after being officially diagnosed. A lot of the tools and tricks I have for getting around everyday issues are things I learned from other autistic folks. The diagnosis only really helped with accommodations in college and at work (which basically allowed extra time and quieter spaces to work/do tests). As for not fitting into the hyper sensory input thing, try going to the grocery store with noise cancelling headphones or earplugs, and see how much less exhausting grocery shopping is. I had no clue I had auditory processing issues until I was assessed, and then I bought high quality NC headphones and I was suddenly 90% less exhausted by the end of the day. (I am also hypo sensitve to physical pain, I don't know how that went unnoticed so long. I broke my collarbone when I was 5 and my parents only noticed a few days later because I was attempting to climb a tree on-armed.)
My son have suffered autism spectrum since childhood and Have battled with it all his life. But recently taking of Dr Oyalo herbs have help his get rid of it completely, his speech is vibal and his social skill is perfect. I’m so glad and happy now
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I feel really sorry for your wife. It must be exhausting for her to constantly carry the emotional labor to this extent while also managing all the social labor and probably the bulk of the household chores, mental load and childrearing (if you have children) too. What do you do for her to bring joy to her life and help her with the burdens everday life brings? I know it sounds insensitive, but I'm always seeing the ways autistic men are catered to while autistic women have to mask and figure it out on their own while doing all the things I just mentioned if they're in relationships.
@@juniormako6184 autism doesn't have to be cursed. Herbs can't change a person's brain chemistry either way, so stop with the autism mom bs😐
Can you be hyper and hypo sensitive? Certain sounds cause actual pain, I can't wear certain materials, etc. But I can take things out of an oven without an oven glove.
Definitely possible! Most autistic people I know are hypersensitive to some things and hyposensitive to others.
Good to know, thanks!
Yes, definitely! I am hyper-sensitive to certain sounds, have difficulty with the colour yellow (depending on hue it either hurts my eyes or makes me feel nauseous), and can't cope with loads of smells (bleach, perfume, air fresheners etc). But with touch, I'm both: I can't bear labels in clothing or hair moving about on my face, but otherwise am mostly hypo-sensitive - a sensate-seeker, not sensate-avoider - and love getting jostled in crowds, love tight bear hugs etc. We are often people of extremes!
Yes. You should probably still wear the oven mitts, though. Even if you don't feel it now, you can lose some sensation due to the accumulation of small amounts of damage over many years.
I got that, no diagnosis tho
You are very articulate and gave great deal of insight into the DSM. Thank you, I've learned alot.
I think your summation of the DSM was excellent! I thought it was insightful and very bold. Thank you. This is all very new to me.