Life Inside Juvenile Detention | Full Documentary Josh's Story
This video from our archive is one of the very first stories we ever filmed. It introduced us to the inner workings of juvenile court and the many ways teens and families end up in the juvenile system. This is the story of Josh and his family -- a family unsure of what to do when Josh's anger at home ultimately led to a fight that caused his mom to call police.
From his initial juvenile court hearing to his time in a facility while he awaited his final court hearing to the judge's ultimate ruling on his case, we saw the complexities of family turmoil and the emotions teens go through when they're dealing with multiple issues at home.
A lot has changed in the way cases are handled in juvenile courts since the time of this filming. States like Indiana now have family mediation sessions to alleviate the reliance on placement facilities
Update: After a year in placement, Josh was reunited with his family and they never had another experience with the juvenile system. He had a few struggles along the way but we learned he is now doing well and is a good father and husband.
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Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard parents say, “I don’t know what to do with him anymore, I don’t want him at home”. Honestly a terrible thing to say with your kid right next to you. You can always see the heartbreak in the kids eyes when they hear their parents say those words
He deserves it.
@@Affje800 the sad thing is no one trains parents how to handle situations like this. No parent has a kid and expects things like this to happen. You shouldn’t say that infront of your kid but yea it’s understandable under the stress of the situation that they just don’t know what to say anymore.
@@rickyibarra4675 alot of parents dont know how to raise their kids they should honestly take classes on how to raise children properly.
What I have read and learned first hand from being a learning disabilities teacher is everything is placed on the LD child. When in reality the family only makes his/her disability worse.
Sometimes tough love is the only way to progress.
What struck me was the sadness in his eyes. He starts to cry after the first hearing when he talks about his mom not wanting him at home, but holds it back. There’s definitely some unhealthy family dynamics going on that I think only the judge picked up on. As someone else commented, this kid has suffered loss and trauma. You can see his deep sadness, frustration and desire for connection.
@@barbarah2773 very clear that the woman is unfit to be a parent. I wish that judge Judy had presided over the case, she would have really given it to her.
I don't think the mother is unfit. As the parents are getting older, this boy is getting bigger and stronger and if his behaviour isn't dealt with now, he will wind up in the prison system. Sometimes it takes a charge of assault to get the ball rolling. He's getting in trouble at school as well as at home. Some kids who are hellions at home are perfect angels at school.
I worked in prek and you could understand why the boys prison down the road was full.
I feel sorry for Joshua, and sometimes feel that parents should have to be licensed to have children
@barbara h. The mother is not unfit to be a parent she's doing the exact right thing the boy is getting older, stronger and knows it, he was trying his mom to see how far and what he could get away with. Did you not hear the mom when she said he went after his sister with SCISSORS?? He has punched her in the face so hard it knocked her head back?? He defied her authority time & time again after having counseling?? He needs to learn a lesson ,and the sooner the better, he needs to know he can't act like that & there are consequences to his actions, he didn't think his mom would press charges on him, but the judge is ABSOLUTELY CORRECT in ordering a pysch & nuero evaluation to see if there's something else going on with him. He needs to learn this is NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR PERIOD, that doesn't make her a bad parent, it's called tough love before they move on to assaulting someone or killing them because they think they can do whatever they want!! I sat if the kid wants to live with his dad send him, he needs a male role model that can set him straight that's for sure. There's kids exactly like this that have deep mental issues and end up killing their family members or others so it needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP!!!
When the step dad grabbed Josh by the chin and Josh looked up for a split second, you could see that he thought he was going to get some kind of affection. And then the stepdad said look at your mom when she’s talking to you. It broke my heart to see his eyes realize he was not being affectionate. That boy must have been through a lot.
When the stepfather touched Josh's face, I knew it was a form of dominance, not love.
The step father seemed horrible. He had an agressive tone.
I felt the same way - at last affection for that kid. But I was mistaken and disappointed too.
@@MondoBeno Seeing the stepfather grabbing the kids chin, I wondered just what physical punishment Josh is used to receiving. That child suffered a lot. The parents are the issue.The mum, just looking at him.." do you have anything to say?" ..then waits for him to declare his love for her. SHE NEEDED TO DO THAT FOR HIM!!! They clearly don't want him
@@jacqueline8559 the creator of the video said that they will do an interview with Josh so they can see how he’s doing now and they’ll post it. I hope George clears everything up.
I have to give Josh credit for being honest and admitting to exactly what he did.
takes a lot for a kid. ik i sucked at owning up to my faults haha
Hey boy does need to live with his dad though That's the problem there... He loves his mom and she loves him but he's out of control with her because she can't handle him...
Yes, he seems like a good kid. Its his Mom, that has no patience with him. She is a typical liberal lost Skank!!! She has no business raising this young man!!! She has hurt him so bad in his life. I had a Motber just like her. It ain't good!!!🥶
that only goes so far
@@abbyt4713 My thoughts exactly, he wants to live with his dad but doesn't get to, the mother basically puts him before the choice of living with her and the stepdad and living in a home for juvenile delinquents, a term being a crime against human decency on its own.. 😵💫
He experienced the trauma of abandonment. First the father leaves, then his Mom got a new man and probably doesn't spend time with him any more. Love and attention is all this kid really needed.
Sometimes children need to be taken out of the house it’s safer for everyone
exactly the way the step dad touched his face and lifted it up irked me the wrong way …
I agree because I never hear telling him this is because I love you and I want you to get some help,I feel sorry for him
Gabriel Palmer, unfortunately life isn't as simple as you think. Love, kindness and attention are a good starting point but sometimes profession help is required. As an autistic person, I recognise much of this youngsters problems and suspect he required help much like I recieved. He's now a father and husband and not been in trouble again, so thankfully it worked for him. Without the court intervention he would have likely serious injured or killed someone and spent his life in prison.
@@sal994 showed his stepfather cared and wanted him to understand what his mother was saying to him. Sometimes we perceive negativity in kindness and unfortunately that's what you did.
The WORST thing mom could've said "I don't want him back home," that is going to stay with that kid for the rest of his life. Even when I heard that, my jaw dropped, my heart broke for him. To hear that your own mother has given up on you, that's something you can't easily, if ever, heal from.
I went through the same thing at his age… with my ADOPTIVE parents. Better yet, I was in JDC on false accusations from my adoptive father claiming suicidal threats no proof no evidence… the judge was trying to send me home. Amom stood up crying and said the same fucking thing and I had to go back to jail in a turtle suit for 8 days. I have nothing to do with my parents anymore.
The first time I got stuck in the mental ward it took my mom so long to come see me that they had to threaten to take her parental rights away/ That still kinda bugs me sometimes. Man do nurses ever feel bad for your ass if you're a child who no one visits and you're stuck in the hospital.
I wish she worded it like, “I want him home when Joshua can follow rules and not be violent. When he learns to do that, he can come home.”
I agree bc the child doesn't hear I don't want him home the child hears I don't want him and to a child that means their unloved and unwanted. I've been in the foster system before and my mother has always said I don't want her then one day the judge asked my mom if she wanted me home she said yes and he asked r u willing to leave ur husband (who was a sex offender) and she said no and walked out and left me thr...so I no from personal experience that he didn't hear wat she ment all he heard was he was unloved and unwanted by his own mother
The kid attacked his sister with scissors and beat his own mother.
As a mom, I am so angry at his mom. My son is ADHD and is on the spectrum, I see so much on him in this little boy. He wants so much to be loved. It is so sad that his parents can't see that. I am in tears right now.
That was one of my first thoughts. Josh has ADHD and quite possibly Autism Spectrum disorder. He needs help and support, not punishment. Having said that, this is little more than a moment in his life. KZhead viewers never have enough information to make informed comments.
That's what I was thinking ADHD.
Probably some stupid counselor told her to do this 9:47
Wow, I'm glad it's not just me wondering if he has ADHD and or maybe Autism spectrum disorder. I feel if this kid falls through the cracks in this day and age. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism when I was 54. This kid needs reevaluated.
Not all counsels are worth having.
I’m not in their shoes, but I’d be hugging him and telling the boy I love him. We will work this out together!
and the kid would be thinking, "what a chump!" and go home and split your lip open again before midnight
And he would easily fool you and once you get home, more than likely, physically attack you. Like you said, you’re not in their shoes, so you don’t know if that’s what you would do.
Exactly. If they bring him home he thinks it's a joke and then kills his sister next time. Obviously he is jelous of his sister who gets attention. He is spoiled brat who was used being only child until sister came along.
AmenRobbin
9 times out of 10 when you have kids like this, you can bet the parent(s) have a lot to do with the way they've become. What I find ironic is, this kid is more than polite to the judge and the system in general. This makes me believe he has got good and respect in him, but there's something his mom is doing that is causing this. I can't say for sure, but it's just an observation. Why won't they let him go live with his dad? She doesn't want him back home with her. What's the point?
Schools to .The fact some school blatantly lie and help kids do it .reinforcing not listening to parents or listening to authority is ok .
As sad as it is , kids don't tell and Johsua lacks the social skills to really verbalize what is happening. His wanting to go with the dad could be for his own safety or he thinks he will have more control over things. I do know this I disliked both parents. They need a lot of behavioral coaching and counselilng themselves.
That's assuming the father wants anything to do with him. Most single fathers are content with being part time parents or less. That's probably what most of the issues stem from, the absent father, because the kid keeps mentioning him. But yes, blame the woman.
@@lizb2620 there’s a lot of blame to go around. As you know legally both parents are responsible for this young man until he is 18 yrs of age. The more they understand his strengths and deficiencies the better the chance he will make it through life with lesser issues. As far as his bio father I have lost respect for a friend of mine over shunning his responsibilities for one of his children.
I felt the same way. Maybe she just has her plate full so the kids are neglected. Maybe not her fault per se, but still - I just want to adopt him. He’s such a doll and you can tell he’s intelligent.
The pain in this young mans eyes is heartbreaking. You can tell he doesn't feel loved. It's important for children to know they are loved. So glad to see that he is much better and now a husband and Father
oh wow what video is that on his update
Where did u see this?
@@sandyb2391 you can pull down the top corner and at the bottom it says that after a year he got to go back home and never got into the juvenile court again he did have a couple problems but is married and has children that makes me happy I truly wanted to adopt this young man to give him a good loving home in Arizona
@@jenniferaskins2896 No, below it says that he is doing well and he is a good father and husband
@@jenniferaskins2896 gurl you negative stop that shit
This brings back unwanted memories. To have a mother say that she doesn't want you in the home is devastating. I went through the same. My mother was so cold towards me and praised my older brother. I believe I reminded my mom of my dad. I would lash out towards my mother because I was wanting her to just show me attention. I know exactly what Joshua wanted and needed. At 14 I was on my own. Luckily I had a friend that his parents took me in and got me to 18. I never spoke to my mother again. My mother tried reaching out to me after I was married and had two girls. She wanted to meet her grandbabies. I let my wife and daughters go meet her. My mother died without us ever talking as adults to each other about the past. Joshua's mom has that cold relationship towards him that I remember with my mom. I hope Joshua will have a beautiful life and only focus on today and the future and not on something that shouldn't have happened to him in the past.
@ange6580 - we really appreciate you sharing your memories, painful as they are. It helps people see they're not alone and that's important. Josh and his mom have a good relationship today. Obviously, there were some very tumultuous times and we were grateful they allowed us to follow their story. You are not alone in what happened to you, and we wish you nothing but the best in life. Thank you again for watching and commenting!
This is so many people's reality. I saw a lot of it as a teacher and then abused kids as a foster Mum. The eyes of the kids who have been abused break my heart every time and my role is to make their eyes smile through unconditional love, reasoning and making sure all their needs are met. It's not easy but kids deserve every bit of energy it takes. I'm not condemning the Mum in this story because I believe she did the right thing to keep all of the family safe. I think she was wrong to not tell him that she stilled loved him.
I'm at the end now and I can't stop crying. I just wanted the Mum to put her arms around her son and tell him she loves him and always will. She is acting so cold but I suspect that is the only way to keep herself from backing down or falling apart. He must feel terrified going somewhere he doesn't know. I am so pleased to hear that he has a relationship with his Mum these days. I know this is an old documentary but it's still relevant to this day.
@@amyrivers4093 She told him that she loved him, just before he was handed over to the teacher at the centre. His stepdad also told him that they loved him.
@Mathilda5xp I'm referring to when he was told by the judge that he would be going into long term treatment at the Ark. There was no teacher at that point just the boy, his Mum and step dad. The mother nor the step dad told the boy that they love him. Instead she asked if there was anything he wanted from home and asked him if he needed a winter coat because she couldn't even remember if she had bought him one the year before. I don't remember anytime that they told him they loved him so if you have a time stamp I'd appreciate it. I think you may be confused about who was involved because he was never handed over to a teacher, he did get education as part of the program but it was his case manager, social worker that he went with. Their roles are very different.
When he said he feels like a dog being pulled on a lease, broke my heart
Then he said “ I have to sacrifice myself “🥹
Her kid didn’t wake up one day and start acting out! The mother is ridiculous and her son will never forget her telling the court to take him. Just because he never went back doesn’t mean anything changed. He’s a smart boy very articulate and clearly has empathy. He said he would apologize to his mother but after he wants to live with his father.
Exactly
I disagree
The mother an sister will never forget a 13 old child beating the hell out of them...smh
@@jerrycooper7300 yes, but you don’t just give up on your child. I’m a behavioral therapist and I work with similar behaviors with a behavior intervention that’s consistently implemented.
Absolute delinquent kids completely deserve it. They just appear harmless on TV. I really don't understand how you're all supporting that kid. Can you imagine how many times his mom had to go through all of this till she finally made her mind to call the cops?
Divorce hurts children, no matter what age! They don't always know how to talk about it, so in order to express inner turmoil, they act out.
Hurts more to see parents trying to kill each every day ! Think about it !
Juvenile Detention also hurt children what do they learn over there? None! Instead of staying there he could have get help
I have 10 yrs divorce , I feel bad for me sometimes but I think and my kids how they feel if I bring a guy to they lives , Just I want stay there and have the time for them when they need me.....
@@cuteduckdontlie4636 That is right, it can cause serious drama and give a horrible image if a healthy relationship.
Well grow up before u marry. N don't play house before your married.
I knew from the second his mom said "stepdad" that that was the problem! It's always the same story, stepfather steps into the picture tries to take on a disciplinarian rule, thinks he can "handle" this unruly kid, and begins to control, threaten, punish, and basically treat them like they're bad kids, it goes downhill from there! And of course the mom sticks up for the stepdad which causes a ton of resentment. It's the perfect storm that leads them right where this poor guy was, angry, hurt, and in trouble! I hope he was giving therapy & worked through his issues.
💯
Some sort of unusual burden. Oof.
We have this exact same story but our teen had my husband in her life from 2.5 yo the real father would say horrible thing about him to them turns out her sexly abuse her
Interesting. Similar happened to my great nephew. Mom married (his bio dad was never in his life) when he was 10, and stepdad tried to bond, and discipline but he resented that. Grandad had been his 'dad', and luckily because of tension & a new baby he was able to live with the grandparents. Thank goodness for good families.
I don’t know if you will even see this, but it doesn’t always end like that. My son sees my new husband as his dad. He calls his biological father his ex father. I struggled for 9 years after his bio dad got physically abusive. My son was 2, he doesn’t remember and I never told him. I was very lax on discipline because he had no dad, and a few years later was dx with ADHD and Autism. When I began dating the man I would marry (9) years later he began disciplining him. My son recognized that it was from love and trying to help him do better. Their relationship is so strong he is going with him to work for free and still avoids his bio dad as much as he can.
As a 58 yo single man who never had any children this is so sad on so many levels. Josh is def hurting and seeking something. He needs what many kids and even adults need LOVE and acceptance ! This made me tear up though I see it was like 24 years ago! This kid is a man now if almost 40. I pray and hope he healed and became a productive adjusted person who’s capable of giving and receiving love.
He has a “defiant disorder”. He’s likely always been this way. He can be counseled thur this. He’s a wonderful boy. This is special Ed in the mental health crisis realm. Sending love. ❤ then and now. I had a boy like this. He’s the best guy today. Like a Saint.
Thanks for more insight on this. This kid seemed very sweet when in the right setting. I almost teared up when he said “I just want to tell me mom I’m sorry but she doesn’t want to talk to me” 💔 so touching and sad
I'm afraid you're drinking the boy's kool aid. He's not afraid. He's not sad. He doesn't miss his mother. He's on his way to a life of manipulative sociopathy, and he's not concercerned for himself at all. Surrounded by loving relatives and counsellors. This one needs CCTV cameras on him around smaller kids. Believe me.
@jakereal3604 if pull down the button more it tells you updated information. 😊
@@NavigatorMother believe it or not at first glance he looks like he be this child. Though I seen some very trouble children who get help and they are better. If you look under updated information under the title you will see he did improve 🎉. So, happy to hear.
Great piece. I’m trained as a counselor and worked in group homes for almost ten years. The moment where Joshua said “I think it would be better if I don’t go home. Then things would be better for my mom and my sister and my step dad.” was everything. Such a clear case. Mom moved on and left Josh behind. Poor kid feels left out of her new family and now he’s in the system… which won’t help. I’ve seen too many of these cases. Seriously sending Josh all the love and positive thoughts I can. This is NOT his fault.
The update said he was reunited with his family and a few stumbles along the way he is now a husband and father.
He had a sister, an older sister, one that he grew up with. So no, his mother didn't just move on with new people and left him behind. He made his choices. I wouldn't want to live in a house with someone who splits my lips or cuts his sister hair or is aggresive in any other way either. He is pissed and it is understandable, but 50% of the children go through a divorce. Not all act like him. Not to mention that it was not the first time he was aggressive and he went through therapy and evaluations and so on. And his father doesn't really seem to care too much either. Who doesn't visit his kid for an entire sommer? And based on the fact that the judge didn't even asked about him or the possibility to involve him in the family therapy says a lot as well...
Josh also said: " I can sacrifice myself...". He was 13. Speechless...
I agree with you 100%. I worked in a group home for 11 years and had many cases like Joshua's unfortunately. Or we had cases where the families would no longer visit or communicate at all with the youth.
I agree this mom screwed her son over usually kids act put when a parent is not being a good parents as far as school acting out when his sister sets him up he holds onto that anger when he goes to school
He seems so lost, I hope he feels loved wherever he is. Breaks my heart for him to hear the words his momma doesn’t want him. Crushes me, I can only imagine how sad it was for josh.
I know that feeling from when I was 13. I moved in with my Dad. All went well with him. I'm now 73.
I can only imagine what it would be like to have that violent of a child. He deserves to be sad
His mother is obviously afraid of him, how much longer will it take for him to come after her with a knife instead of his fists
@@williammarkhart7047 Did you ever move out?
His mom deserved to be punched The age of criminal responsibility should be raised to 15 No questions asked
The underlying anger in this boy is so obvious. Mother happy to hand over her child just not to have to deal with him. He's is obviously traumatized by the parent's split and he actually sees the stepfather as the root of all of it. He believes staying with his father will be better and that should have been the real clue here. Years of therapy ahead.....
I can deeply connect with this kid. We’re very similar in age from the time this was filmed. I also have divorced parents and I’m currently forced to stay with my mom and I scream at them. I would also rather live with my dad. I’ve never hit anybody though. I really think he just needs someone to empathize with him and understand him. He’s had a hard life and no one has been able to help him yet. I very deeply hope he can find happiness and be where he wants to be in life without hurting the people he loves and find his people.
The mother seems extremely Cold. Not much love there by her or the step dad. Seems she may be from the Middle East. The boy may be better off going to live with his real dad after treatment. He is hurting from what ever has happened to him. The mom just seems happy to give him away and made sure she was saying the right things in front of the judge but the judge put her in her place! “Actions speak louder then words”
Doesn't seem like his dad wants him.
Mother happy? did you watch a different video, sister? You know nothing about the parents' split, don't pretend you do.
We don't know the background of this family, only what we've seen and heard. Yes, the kid is angry and he's been verbally and physically abusive to his family members, he hit and spits at mom and threatens sister with sissors. The biological father isn't involved, perhaps he's moved on and doesn't want to bothered, or just doesn't care. He obviously hasn't made any contact with the boy in some time. Maybe the visits stopped or he never bothered to make visitation at all. With something this serious the father would normally be there. The stepfather is the one there, (Not the dad) to support his wife and the family during the son's crisis. Now if the stepfather was to have gotten involved in the situation, things would have been different. That kid is NOT going to act out with a man there. I believe this happened when the stepfather wasn't home. If the father knows of the situation and that the kid wants to go live with him and hasn't responded, that kid needs to know. He's acting out but the dad hasn't responded? Obviously the dad doesn't want the kid either. He hasn't been disciplined and that's his problem, too late to try to put him in timeout or ground him. The mother has already put him in therapy and it hasn't helped. Other than whipping his azz and giving him what he's been dishing out, there's nothing more to do. They're certainly NOT going to sit there and take his esculating abuse and not do something. At 16 - 18 years old he'll probably be 6 ft and 200 lbs of raging testosterone and ready to kill someone over an interupted tv game. If you want to blame someone, start with the dad, I believe that's where the problem started.
Broken families 💔 Stepdad is the problem doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out...
A 13 year old is not a young man, he’s a child!
@Heather Criswell - He misses his absent biological father and resents the step-father.
Boy have the times changed. I work in a juvenile detention facility in Texas and it is nothing like this. Most of the kids are detained for very serious felony's like aggravated robbery involving firearms, car thefts/pursuits, assaults on school personnel, and capital murder. I would say 80% of the kids in the facility are documented gang members with our local police department. The kids inside go to school everyday through our local school system and participate in mental health treatment. The kids see a judge every 10 days to decide if they will continue to be held or released to their parents. Most kids, even with crimes like capital murder, usually get probation on their first felony and are usually not committed to TJJD (tx juvenile justice department) unless they violate their probation a few times or pickup additional violent felony's. In a way the system is a joke and is constantly taken advantage of. We have two 13 year old's in our facility now for drive by shootings.
Even 12 years know what they are doing.
@@braveheart6665 sure they do. Lock em all up at hard labor.
He may be young but there’s no reason for that kind of behavior towards anyone especially family the parents were not disrespectful or abusesive they and his sister were the victims it doesn’t matter if he 13 or 113 no kid should be actually like that
Tell your child that you love him, hug him. Embrace him. Step dad needs to father up. Spend time with him.
How do you know they didn't try?
And the 13 year old child needs to stop punching and choking his mother...
@@rover5788 how do u know they did
But the one who needs to do this is the biological dad!!!
The callousness of his mom and step dad is palpable.
You have no right to comment on this the woman has tried everything, she is trying tough love to help him.
@@eleanorcrawford9978 I’m sorry but, you don’t give up on your kids 😡
The worst thing for a child is for parents to split and then to expect them to accept it. Good to see that the process helped and that he's a good husband and father.
Im really happy to have read the following update in the video description: Update: After a year in placement, Josh was reunited with his family and they never had another experience with the juvenile system. He had a few struggles along the way but we learned he is now doing well and is a good father and husband.
How do I find a update on him
That's great, these stories don't usually end like this unfortunately.
I'm happy for Jashua if it's true that he changed
It's great to hear that he is doing well. I was him at age 13 and my mom did her best. DOJ stay gathered my ass really quick! I had high levels of lead when I was young and sometimes we blame the parents, ( especially single mothers). The parents aren't always at fault. Once I discovered that there was an adult women's prison that I could go to if I didn't change my ways, I got my act together REAL FAST!.
You are correct , The claim is 85 percent are back in or even worse ! @@dianemorris5816
He is a gorgeous kid...he misses his dad and just needs to be accepted and loved.
A gorgeous kid huh?
@@yutuhn9499 - He is indeed! He is a magnifying boy to say the least!
Creep
That's creepy I agree with the others. I wonder what kind of "love" you are referring to
@@CN45475 …
My late wife and I were foster parents. We decided that instead of doing adoption we wanted to work with troubled kids and help them in any way we could. We wanted to create a loving, nurturing environment where our kids new they were wanted, loved, and accepted just as they were. We never passed judgement or looked down on them for mistakes that they made. We knew these kids would be broken and hurting and the adjustment into a new environment would take some time so we needed to be patient and understanding. We treated every single child as if they were our very own. We were very proactive with our kids and gave them whatever support they needed and gave them plenty of encouragement. We taught them what it meant to be a family and how to thrive in social situations and how to deal properly with difficult situations. We wanted our kids to not only succeed in life but to also thrive in it. Some had mental health problems, some had behavioral problems, some because of their parents believed they were just bad kids and deserved nothing. They had no hope and had pretty much given up on themselves. We never pushed them into something they didn't want to do or forced them into uncomfortable situations. We knew each child would have different personalities and different needs. It wasn't always easy but then we knew it wouldn't be. We just had to be patient and make sure they knew we loved them no matter what and we would never abandon them. The change in our kids over time was amazing. These kids who were broken and lost began to gain self worth and confidence. They began doing well in school and some even got on the honor roll. We let each one of them know how proud we were of them regardless of how well they did. If they messed up we'd sit down and talk to them, give them advice on how to do better, tell them it was ok, to learn from it and move on. We never condemned them if they made a mistake. We made sure they were still loved and that we believed in them. We had a huge success rate with our kids and ended up with a 2 year waiting list for children to come into our home. The goal was to eventually integrate the kids back into their homes and when it was time for them to leave we told them that even though they were going home we were still there for them if they ever needed us and we kept that promise. Many of the kids began calling us mom and dad and we told them they didn't have to do that if they didn't want to but they told us that they felt we were their parents and wanted to call us that. We said ok but if they ever changed their minds and didn't want to call us that anymore it was ok too. It wouldn't change how much we loved them. For some of the kids we were the only parents they ever knew. We always made sure our kids had whatever they needed. My wife and I fostered for 10 years and during that time had over 150 kids in our home plus became surrogate parents to many others. As they grew into adults some went to college, some into the military, and others into successful careers and also became excellent parents themselves. When my wife suddenly died 8 years ago the hardest thing I ever had to do was tell them that their mom was gone. As many as were able to came home for her funeral and by this time they were scattered all over the country. Many of the kids didn't even know each other because they had been in our home at different times but quickly bonded and there was lots of hugs and tears. The kids counselors were there and they came up to me. They pointed to the kids and said, see that, that says a lot on the type of parents you and your wife are to them. They wouldn't have ever had that if it hadn't been for what the both of you did for them. During the service all the kids sat with me. When it came time for anyone who wanted to say anything about my wife, after everyone said what they wanted to say my kids suddenly all stood up and said, come on dad, were going up as a family. Each one of them took turns speaking about the impact that their mom had on their lives and how they were changed forever because of what she had done for them. I was deeply touched and so proud of them. After the service many people came to me and said it was the first time they ever went to a funeral where they were so deeply moved and finally understood what my wife and I were doing. My kids have kept me involved in their kids lives and now I am their pappy. And I'm still adding more kids to the family. Many of my kids friends have adopted me as their dad as well and I'm also pappy to their kids. I feel so blessed and thankful to have had the opportunity to raise these kids as my own. Seeing this today reminded me of when our kids first came into my home. Just watching Josh my heart really went out to him. Being 13 is difficult in itself at times. Josh was starving for love, understanding, and attention. Had he gotten that when he needed it being sent away probably would have never happened. I'm so glad the update said he is doing well and is a good husband and father. I wish him all the best.
dio, and who want to read your comment....too, too long.
Let's not judge..the man was pouring out his heart and giving his wife credit..we could use more people like that..sorry if this is too long for you!
dio, sounds beautiful but but not all the time end up that beautiful. How much money did the government pay you to foster so many children?
@@agustindejesus7398 actually not much. Other foster parents we found out were getting over twice what we were being paid just within our own agency. My wife and I were actually taking money out of our savings to keep us afloat...and you are right, most foster parents do it for the money and don't really care about the kids they foster. My wife saw that even within our own agency. Kids were being treated like personal servants and some were even getting beat up by their foster parents and the agency looked the other way because they were so desperate to have foster parents. My wife and I were fortunate to have our own money so money was something we didn't care about. Before we even decided to foster we had a talk and we both were in agreement that if we were going to foster then it would never be about the money. Every child in our home would be treated as if they were biologically our own. They would come first before anything else just as if they were our own. In other homes the kids rarely got anything from their foster parents on birthdays, Christmas, and so on because they felt it was the biological parents responsibility. Of the foster parents went on vacation they got respite care. Not us. We threw birthday parties for every child in our home and they got gifts as well from us, just as if they were our own. Same thing with Christmas and Easter. If we planned a vacation the kids came with us just like they would if they were our own. If even one child couldn't get approval to go then we didn't go and did something at home instead. Every Sunday night we had family night and the kids would pick a couple of movies for us all to watch or sometimes we played board games instead. When we had family night we always had plenty of snacks for the kids and they always had snacks throughout the week as well. My wife and I were very proactive with our kids at school as well. When we would go to court with our kids to give them emotional support we actually had a few judges come up to us and personally thank us for the work we did with our kids. I know my wife and I were an anomaly in foster care. Foster parenting gets such a bad reputation and for the most part it's well deserved because most foster parents really don't care about their kids. They (the foster parents) usually cause even more harm to the kids they are supposed to be helping. To be honest it sickens me to see how some foster parents treat their foster kids.
You and your wife gave all those children hope, a sense of family, love and support. Be proud of all you have done.
Im a year older than Josh (37) and I certainly had my aggression issues growing up (i directed it at other kids not my parents). The way they describe him doing parallel play, the flatness when he speaks, and him not looking at his mother when she speaks (which could be a result of shame and upset as well), i wonder if he was assessed for level 1 autism and or adhd. I have both and there were certain things that reminded me of a young version of myself. Back in the 90s they didnt have the knowledge base to diagnose low support needs people like they do now and lots of kids were showing behaviours that were indicative of trauma and neurodiversity rather than being "bad". Im not saying that IS the case and im not trying to diagnose him but it stood out as something to consider for me. The other thing that stood out to me was the fact that Joshua was present when they asked his mother if she wanted to relinquish him and why. I dont see what benefit that would have been to him. They could have been given a moment to dicuss it after or before the mum spoke to the judge. I cant imagine the trauma of listening to your parent tell a court the reasons they dont want to live with you.
Sometimes all you have done has no effect ...it's time for wakeup call . Kids need to learn there are social limits
Having autism is not an excuse ..any more than having to make adjustments if you need a wheelchair . ..
I agree about things that were discussed in front of Josh as well. Referring to him as a delinquent on more than one occasion seems harsh (something that may be etched in his mind). Imagine how he must have felt and the embarrassment he must have felt hearing his mom tell basic strangers she doesn’t want him home.
I also have autism and ADHD and had the same thoughts.
@@ananamu2248 he had a mental illness then. Plus it was long ago. I agree some kids today don’t have rules or boundaries. That isn’t applicable here.
You can tell by his body language he is a depressed and kinda just lost boy. He is in a vulnerable situation not knowing where he's going. I feel for him. I hope things got better for him and his family. 💯🙏❤️
Lovely said, you see the truth.
I don't. He's just irritating.
He was charged with a crime where was a lawyer for him
@@clintmathis625 1) it wasn't a criminal trial. 2) The judge asked if the parents wanted legal representation for themselves or the boy.
@@khonkhosilelihle7414 *YES FRIEND*
I was once this child. Thrown away by my mother. Luckily I had the mental strength to get through it. Stay strong to all watching this
I am that child at 48 years old, my mom left when I was 11 but it was welcomed, she emotionally abused me and clearly hated me. My Dad was a cop and swept me under the rug. He bought my love and showed his love for me thru money. I was spoiled but I was miserable. I for some reason connected w the girls who had single drug addicted mothers. My Dad would give the moms $1-2 hundred dollars to keep me for the weekend for groceries and such. Midnight surprise Del Taco runs meant the world to me! Five kids camped out on the living room floor was some of my best memories!!!! These moms may have had a drug problem and struggled to support their kids but they did. They fought for theirs cuz they loved them, and when I was there I got love and affection too and I loved it! I belonged. The drugs and poverty did not matter, the dirty disgusting houses didn’t bother me, a matter of fact I would clean up the house like a professional just to see my play mom happy. It was sad now that I think about it. I dropped out of school in 5th grade turned to drugs and started my criminal career I’ve been in and out since 12! Now I’m jail free since 2012 no more parole but I am still an addict. I am getting in April for surgery . I can do it! But the success to raising a good kid is simple, love and affection is all you need !!!! The one thing I never got from Mom. She died in 2009 when I was in prison. I went back one time but that was it! I behave now, I just like drugs but I’m getting surgery in April and after spending all that money I’m not gonna ruin it so I plan on staying clean. I will !!!!! I’ve been thru hell and back now it’s time to relax and settle down . I have a pit bull who loves me whom I adore so it’s Zoey and I enjoying what’s left of our life’s !!!!!!!!!Peace !!!! ✌🏼
Youve done it,well done comrade
Great for you I am happy that you had the strength to get yourself through that. I can never hear a parent say that in front of a child without feeling it stab me in the heart. I hope this child is as strong as you are!
I hope you are doing good
Joshua wasn’t thrown away by his family. He was given an opportunity for treatment. Otherwise the violence would escalate.
The judge said this event was in 1999. So that would mean Joshua is around 37 or 38 years old today. I hope he’s doing well and living a happy and blessed life.
The crux of the young mans problem is he needs to see his dad. It was sad he could not see his father during summer. Bless his heart I hope he is doing well today.
This happened to me when I was 14 . My mother said those same words about my twin sister and I , the judge believed her and our public attorney didn’t even speak for us . We had done nothing and at the young age of 14 we were taken from court 31/2 hours from home to a group home. So unfair and hurtful. We had no idea that day would end like that. I have never gotten over it . It’s a deep hurt that will never go away. When I had my own children I made sure to love them a little extra because I never wanted them to know what not being wanted feels like.
Same
sorry to hear that. I went through something similar.
You had done nothing but were taken to court?
@@MudvilleMedia *YES*
@@jwil4905 *YES IS GUST THIS PRISON AND BOY*
So happy to hear Josh grew up to be a happy man, husband and father. Would love to see a follow-up video, but I realize this probably isn't possible, as Josh would want to put this part of his life (20+ years ago) behind him. It's just that it was easy to get attached to him in this short video. Thanks for posting and showing the good that is being done for troubled youngsters.
Where'd you find this out?? That's awesome news
@@PrivateUser737 Right here, above in the description: Update: After a year in placement, Josh was reunited with his family and they never had another experience with the juvenile system. He had a few struggles along the way but we learned he is now doing well and is a good father and husband.
where did u get the info? I would like to know
@@jazlenerodriguez211 Right? I want to see what he looks like now
@@jazlenerodriguez211 Right above: Update: After a year in placement, Josh was reunited with his family and they never had another experience with the juvenile system. He had a few struggles along the way but we learned he is now doing well and is a good father and husband.
Mom talking with very little tears yet a smile and smirk tells me all i need to know
This is heartbreaking. He's only 13. As a teenager we all feel confused it's that time between child and adult. I think the mum saying I don't want him back in the home would be devastating. Poor kid. I'm glad to see he turned out well. Just breaks my heart. How can you just give up on your kids so easily.
Makes me so sad, she seems cold.
tink, what is more....kids that respect their parents and grow up with them or brats desobeying their parents? Dont feel sorry for a 13 year old who does not want to hear and follow orders. They end up in jail soon or later cause they dont even listen or respect society.
It is called tough love. If more parents did that many cities in the US would not be so crime ridden. LA, Phoenix, Miami are cities where gangs would not hesitate to harm a total stranger. Unfortunately most of them had parents that turned a blind eye. This lady faced her responsibility like an adult and still get criticized by armchair psychologists.
I keep seeing these comments saying that mom gave up on him too young. She openly admitted that her son was in therapy since 3rd grade which proves that there were issues since then and moving forward. Mom also says that things escalated to violence and some of which had been committed against her daughter! Seriously did anyone ACTUALLY listen to what was said at the beginning? The mom is clearly heartbroken and tearing up in the interview about her son and it is beyond obvious she's doing what she thinks best after 13 years of observing and trying to help her son. With all that being said trauma can't be understated enough so there is almost always a catalyst for things like this to occur and even issues like neurological injuries or diseases that may not even be factored in. Point is Mom reached her breaking point and as the commenter above said it was time for tough love and reform. Had it been allowed to go on any longer then the likelihood of him being in prison at some point is all but guaranteed. Then you guys would blame the parents for not getting him the help he needed as a child 😂 On a side note I'm glad to hear (at least according to what others said in the comments) that Josh is doing well as an adult. Mom likely saved him at just the right time.
@@carolashlee8002She seemed cold?? She was tearing up while explaining how hard it was when interviewed right after deciding to hand her son over. What you see as cold is her absolute exhaustion with the entire situation and endless worry for the safety of her daughter, herself, and the entire household. Did we all watch the same documentary here or?
Josh's feelings are valid. mom moved on, he no longer feels wanted. he feels this even more because she sent him away from the home. this is why he wants to go to his dad. they need to do family counseling together to find the right dynamic. they are only sending him to counseling, that's not fixing the household as a whole. and dad is no longer around, he misses him and lashes out. hes a cute kid and seems like he can be well mannered.
Exactly. It’s the adults in and not in his LIFES fault HES only a kid. Shame on selfish adults.
He can be well mannered but chooses not to be.If the problem is severe enough,a child should be put in detention.
tiffany harris so true on what you said. hope he got the family back n more understanding. yes i agree the point of him saying he wanted to go to his dad should be addressed right of the bat
No excuse. In my house, he'd be pancake flat.
You wana get some coffee?
I just wanted to give this kid a hug… But by now he must be a grown man. I hope he is living a wonderful life.
Ya 23yrs ago this was recorded so he would be 36.
At the time it was filmed, that's what he needed. He needed to be loved physically and emotionally, obviously totally lacking at home, the lashing out for attention is normal for situations like this...his dad isn't there, his mom doesn't want him because it interferes in her being able to run around after other guys. The lack of attention, and love will do weird things to kids.
Update: After a year in placement, Josh was reunited with his family and they never had another experience with the juvenile system. He had a few struggles along the way but we learned he is now doing well and is a good father and husband.
@@hellosayonara6960 little late to the race!
@@hellosayonara6960 Thank you so much! It’s so good to hear a success story!
I dealt with this with my son and daughter so all I can say is "TOUGH LOVE IS WHAT IT TAKES."
No child is born bad. This boy has obviously gone through some serious trauma and just can't cope.
Maybe… i have one kid that makes 6 figures with a masters the other been out of prison for 3 years and can’t get his shi5e together
Actually we are born in sin the Bible says that not one person is good!!! It sounds bad but that’s the reason why Jesus came and lived a perfect life in our place then took our punishment upon Himself to satisfy God’s perfect Justice and enable us to come to Him for forgiveness for our sins, and Jesus can now take our filthy rags and replace them with His righteousness so that we could stand before God the Father as if we had never sinned and lived a perfect life!!!
@@lisadooley3872false. God isn’t real and when you poop after a shower it in fact can be wet. Which is in the Bible kid. So good luck.
Yes, it's called divorce. He doesn't want to live with his Mom, he wants to live with his Dad. He said that over and over again, and all the "adults" ignored him.
Your wrong, when I was 12 I met an 8 yr old that planned to become a judge,put his mother in a phyc ward and have her doped to death,he did it 30 yrs later as a judge !and kill his mother along with his half brother that planned to kill his parents! And did! Neither spent a day in jail! Both are lawyers! Children can be born evil,or possesed by evil! Or just having a bad day,but parents need to be stronger and take more time in the decision process before giving their chikd to the state! John the Baptist in the Bible was accosted by 10 children, and God sent a bear and killed them! These parents are a new wave of parents that are being manipulate by the anti spanking movement,and instead of taking him to child counselors,they run to the courts and in this situation ,he ends up.in juvenile detention,which is worse! He will be around others that are worse, sexualy abusive,and come out worse, perhaps! Juvenile detention for his behavior should not result in this! Being put in it!
As a child who was born an orphan and placed in a really abusive foster home I can tell you that you don’t need your parents to overcome any hardship. I went to a teenage juvenile home for the remainder of my teenage years from age 12 to 18. Got to be tougher than the system to survive and do not depend on parents because I am a witness that you can survive without parents. I am a survivor and have successfully overcome the hardships.
❤
You don't need a family. You need a colony?
😮💨 I'm sorry you have experienced this. You must be pretty tough!! I hope you also know that it's ok to ask for help sometimes and it's always ok to cry, even a guy!!!! Sometimes all that toughness needs a break, you are human.
I’m so happy you came through all that and are a good person,❤x
@@jillcarter5221 I'm very sorry about the boy. Children shouldn't be persecuted like that.
It’s not always the kid. Sometimes it’s the parents.
It's mostly the parents. Sometimes parents are "too busy" to raise their children right.
the relation between mom and son is stonecold.
Or both
And sometimes its the situation. I got put in the system when I was 4 years old due to abuse and neglect. My first three foster homes were emergency placements. After a week or two I got moved on to the next place, so even though I wasn't old enough to know that these first three places were emergency placements, I was old enough to figure out (in my little head) that nobody wanted me. And that's what my "acting out" stemmed from.
he hit his mom PLUS HE STABBED HIS SISTER
Mind you we were not there to see what happened and no doubt the mother was scared. Young people do show their true colours to their own family and when they speak to others often come across as very polite and innocent. There’s always two sides to every situation.
There is no greater blessing than to be born of a tolerant Mother and Father.
Mom just talked about the negative things about the child, she is so distant from him .He made a mistake but he is a child. He needed help,and love.Just hope he got all the help he needed 🙏
Seems like almost everyone here has a one-sided opinion. You are all validating and condoning his violent, oppositional behavior. What would you do if your child hit you in the face and you tried several avenues to help him with his anger and nothing was working? Give his Mom a break. Maybe if you went thru this, you'd have a different opinion. My Son went thru this with his Son and to this day My Grandson has never apologized for his behavior and my Son did everything to help him, but he got into drugs and alcohol and his behavior was out of control despite spending time in Rehab and get weekly therapy. My Son finally had enough and called my Grandson's Mother and he is happily living with her and his drug and alcohol problems have stopped. Funny thing is, his Mother was never a good Mother when he was growing up. She pretty much abandoned him.
Joshe's mum has said he's an intelligent boy, how can that be negative, she's trying to help him before his behaviour carries on to adulthood...
@@sylviacarlson3561 He punched and choked his mother . . . The kid has serious issues..
She also never says she loves him. Then, just before she sends him off, she says, "I love you", as a filler.
Her actions were loving. She wanted him to go home with her, instead she got help for Josh. As a child it probably felt like abandonment, but she saved his life.
The fact the mom gave up her child so fast like that are signs of something not right at home. He deserves better.
You want him to have a chance to try and hurt his family again? Maybe you think he should have been allowed to kill his sister….he’s a troubled child and the mother has to protect her other children
He cut his sister and fucking punched his mom in the face.... he would have killed someone eventually. And he is just 13... i wouldn't even have the courage to talk back at my mom at that age... He should never see his family again=)
what are you talking about so fast? she said he has been in therapy for years, he went after his sister with scissors, punched his sister, and punched his mom, giving her a bloody lip.
HE deserves better ??? wtf ? he isn’t the victim
@@countycalling it clearly wasn’t that many years if he’s only 13
YES MAM. YOU DID JUST THAT. You signed your son away on a damn piece of paper. the pain in that child’s eyes… oh my goodness. My heart is in pieces.
But she didn’t after a year he was reunited back with her and he’s now a father and husband
So did you miss the part where he punched her, threw sh*t at her and choked her? You know like the whole reason why he had to be sent away? Keeping a kid like that at home is dangerous, she did the best she could do. He actually seemed quite intelligent and capable, that’s probably why it ended well
When a mother has to remove a child from her home....it rips her heart out. Sometimes tough love has to happen.
My mom used to call the police on me all the time. I’ve NEVER laid a hand on my parents but boy can I argue. There was screaming and crying and all I wanted was a hug from my mom
Same here, ironically my parents were the ones throwing hands on me, never the other way around and I get incarcerated?? The court had a hearing to terminate their parental rights, which never happened, so it was a never ending cycle of arrests and court hearings exactly like the video “I don’t want her anymore” smh.
@@eyebleached YUP But who's going to believe a teenage boy? She used to tell me she HATES me. But, of course denied it. And here I am, 39 years old now and I can say that the first time she told me that COMPLETELY F!@#ED me up, even if it was when I was 15. Six years ago, I told her to her face to delete my number out of her phone. And then I told her "After today... You'll never see me again."
There’s so much more to the story here. I’m watching Josh’s body language and her looks so sad and terrified. There’s just something about this case that says that this boy is struggling far beyond what is known. This kid needs love. Lots of love and professional help.
He's scared because finally there is consequences for his behavior. I wouldn't want him in my home either.
@@JbirdL2233why would he be scared of that, you think he’s you and has the capacity to be stuck on the consequences of his actions. I think his body language while taking an interview is very telling and I think the person who originally commented is right. Fear while in a relaxed and just someone talking to you is signs that that is the condition he’s living in.
Just imagine a kid hearing his mother and father say they don't want them. Most of the time, they didn't want them in the first place.
“My mom doesn’t want me” rejection to the enth degree……clearly he is acting and feeling because he misses and wants his father…..
The mother needs to step up and act like the adult. When Joshua said “yeah she doesn’t want me anymore” crushed me. She has fcked him up forever for that. Poor kid needs love.
Very true. She's a wicked witch on her way to hell.
Agree
"Sometimes I feel like a dog on a leash" wow. Great to see Mom and the court's get something right with treatment, help before the violence escalated.
My heart skipped a beat when he made the dog leash comment.
@@wendyhalverson3607 why
@@wendyhalverson3607 bad kid. It's just not that hard to follow the rules. Even at 13.
Wtf he’s saying the dog on a leash metaphor to explain how he feels like an object to family and adults being pulled around- not like he has the urge to attack and be violent so strong he feels like a dog lol
@@himan4848 fr lol
I worked with boys like Joshua for a long time. As others have commented, it is overwhelmingly sad to look into his eyes - as the window to his soul, they translate acute pain, the like of which so young a person should never know. I think the words of his mother - when she said she didn't want him home (all he will have heard is 'my mom doesn't want me') must have broken his heart, but she too must have been at the end of her tether, and worried about her own safety, as well as that of her daughter and her husband. Whatever happened to Joshua in his early years, I hope he found a way to work through it. I hope now, all these years later, that he is a happy, healthy man, living a good life. I hope at least some of the sadness has lifted from those young eyes.
Having now got to the end of the video, that final conversation between boy, mom and stepdad seems to speak volumes. There is a distinct lack of warmth from the parents. The mother actually asks Joshua why he is being so quiet - how could she not know? Maybe because he is feeling rejected, unloved, confused and terrified. He needed to know that she understood how scary this was for him, and how much he was loved (not just a quick 'love you').
I was so sad that this mom didn’t say I love my son but right now I can’t have him at home. We need help but that doesn’t change that I love him.
I feel that there’s a lot more to this story. I wonder why Josh’s father is not involved in these discussions or decisions. No one else even mentions him but Josh. The step father made me uncomfortable when he physically touched Josh’s face and told him to look at his mother, as well as by his words. It’s difficult to form a picture of the family dynamics from a short film and without Josh’s sister.I was pleased to read that they were able to get past this turbulent time and I wish Josh all the best.
I felt uncomfortable when the step father touched his chin as well. He was hurting so bad.
I agree, nothing but disciplinarian came through in the step fathers actions. Josh would possibly feel like it’s his Mum and stepdad against him. The stepdad possibly resents Josh by the way he treats his mum which can possibly reflect in the way he treats Josh. It’s a horrible but all too common scenario between divorced families. However punching your mother in the face is one step too far. I feel for all parties involved and I really hope the stepdad also provides love and support, not just discipline in the household. It all goes hand in hand.
“Step-parents” and children especially teens are not a good combo.
Why the judge didn't say something about it?? When the stepfather forced him to look the mother???
Disagree. The step father inherited the situation when he married the mom. Josh, most likely felt abandoned by his father. Discipline and a steady hand is what Josh needs. The mom seemed wispy-washy when sh told Josh to go to his room then nexT BREATH SHE TOLD ME HE COULD GO OUTSIDE. We all want the best hor the boy.
The mental health system is broken. The juvenile justice system is broken. There is no quick answer for these kids. Easy to judge...hard to fix.
Amen!
The mental health system isn't broken. It was never working to begin with...
I think this was filmed years ago. The system has changed for some states.
@@jamieleden1551 I hope it has. In Kentucky, the kids are lost in both systems. Mental health issues turn into legal issues. Then, the kids are in detention centers. Nightmare!
@@cmsbeth it comes down to funding and what kind of mental health program have in each state. It is something to think about. In Texas we have both private and public programs that will help. But again it comes down to who is going fund those programs.
My heart breaks for this precious boy
Why don't you take him in. See how long it lasts.
I wondor what happened to him this was in 1999
I’m a teacher. The Apple does not fall far from the tree. Train them young. Parents think they’re “ loving” their kids by not being too “hard” on them: IE: following through, consequences, training…. Then we get into this mess where a parent can’t control their kid. Unfortunately, I see “Joshes” every year. Yes, they need a loving, strong, steady environment.
I had a similar child, we went through the same exact process. Courts, Juvy, two different juvenile care facilities, P.O., the whole gambit. Never once though did I tell Raymond that I did not want him. He is my son and I wanted the best for him. I have ALWAYS told him I love him and gave him lots of love and caring. After he came home he did better, but we had a few bumps, but minor. He finally smoothed out and stopped all of that.The sad part is, several years later he lost his life in a car accident from a drunk driver. We miss and love you Ray, God bless the child.
@brucevancamp4498 - How terribly tragic your son was taken away so soon. Life has a way of dealing us the beautiful and the awful. You clearly showed your son you loved him and did what you could to help him every step of the way. We appreciate you watching Josh's video, and taking the time to share your own personal story. Thank you so very much.
This is so sad. It’s the family dynamic that’s wrong with this kid. He needs to go live with his dad
I'm SO HAPPY for Joshua - that he's a good husband, and a good father. It can't have been easy for him to be made a ward of the court. Best wishes to you and your own family, Joshua ❤️
Huh how u know
@@theyloveemi2889 it says that in the description of the video
What’s a ward of the court?
What came to my attention several times, was the coldness of the mother. When he was leaving to the Arc, I can tell he wanted a hug from his mom. As a mom, it would come naturally to hug my child. This spoke volumes about his issues. Mom not able to show affection.
As cold as a dead fish. I agree. Her focus was the step dad, not her traumatised son.
My heart breaks. Clearly his mother loves him and although it's hard for her she is doing the right thing. It's good that it's being addressed early in his life. He is a smart handsome child and I hope he can overcome his challenges and grows into a happy and successful adult. Stay strong Joshua you have your entire life ahead of you.
This kid needs nurturing, not jail. This will be damaging to him...sadness.
@@ingridlahaye8107 Josh is happily married with his own child. He reunited with his mother. Awesome news!
I’m a marriage and family therapist and my heart breaks for Joshua! Kids are not bad. Adults don’t teach them how to express their emotions adults ignore and neglect them. Adults traumatize kids! As soon as his mom said she doesn’t want him back home, I knew exactly how he heard it. So for him to say it a minute later💔. When it showed he had been there for 30 days my mouth dropped! Then they said his family hadn’t given much input into family life- that’s all they need to know. He’s neglected. Why is he acting out? He didn’t get to see his dad this summer, so he had to stay home with people he feels don’t care about him and don’t want him around. He’s fighting with the sister because she wants and gets the attention. She’s getting the little attention his mom has to offer. She’s getting the little attention while he’s there. I would guess his parents separated when he was young and that’s why he hasn’t picked up on the social cues that elementary school age kids should have by now. He didn’t learn those things at that age because he was going through the trauma of his parents operating. That is traumatic for kids. And kids’ feelings often get overlooked when parents separate. They’ve been neglecting his emotional needs since he was young. It’s not up to kids to fix the relationship. They don’t know how. You have to teach them. There’s a power dynamic. It’s up to the mom to fix this relationship. If she had hugged him, told him that she loved him and forgave him without him even asking, and then continued that type of attention when they went home, she would see immediate improvement. Hell, even if she thought he should stay for a few days, at least hugging him telling him she loved him and explaining why she believed he should stay a little longer would’ve been better than what she did. There’s a difference between, “what you did is wrong“ and “who you are is wrong”. And if you don’t specify the difference to kids, they are always going to believe the second, because they have undeveloped brains. He also has a lot of symptoms of ADHD (which I also have), but I wouldn’t suggest anyone diagnosed until they tried to do family therapy first. He doesn’t need ‘security’ in a detention setting. He needs security and a sense of belonging and loving in his own home!!! This is so frustrating to watch!! I’m only 22 mins in. Everyone is doing everything wrong!! They gave him a probation officer but not a lawyer! They labeled him a juvenile delinquent. That mother did not hug him after he has been gone for more than 30 days. I’m not sure she even looked at him. They have all completely failed him!!! I wish they would ask any of the other people he lives with if they have hit him!!! A freaking year away! That is ridiculous! All the things he needed to learn he could’ve learned at home, but they didn’t teach him. You could watch him detach at the end. While he’s listening to his mom, that’s when his attachment needs became avoidant. I’m trying so hard not to cry! Even though the update says they’re doing well.. i’m really curious as to what ‘well’ looks like.. because I doubt that.
I so agree with you
I really do hope that you specialize in treating children. They need someone like you who sees through the parents BS and understands why children behave poorly. No child wants to be bad, they’ve never been taught anything else.
I couldn't agree with you anymore. It's breaking my heart watching this. I just want to take him into my home, and hold him, hug him, and tell him that he is loved. And help this child out. Because of parents like this is why kids act and do what they do. It ask breaks my heart .
We can't really make valid conclusions based on what's in this 40 minute video. I've known families with children who were unmanageable (and had other children that were not), so I can say I've seen similar situations. It can be very difficult to be the parent in that situation. As it has been said many times, the vast majority of us don't get any parenting lessons before we have children, and all we have to go on is what we experienced in our own family as we grew up, and perhaps the examples of other parents we know as we raise our own children. If I had it to do over again, I would do things much differently raising my children. That's blaming me, not my children. The parenting example I had from my father was not the model I would choose (he was a good father), but it was all I had at the time. Fortunately, my wife was much better at it and our children have all prospered as adults. This mom said Josh has had problems since he was very young, and she tried to do something about it. Hearing the counselors at the alternative facility, it's clear Josh had emotional development issues that previous therapists either didn't recognize, or were unsuccessful in correcting.
@@MikeInPlano I still stand by everything I said. His emotional development issues wouldn't be issues if his parents were educated on how to handle kids' emotions. He wasn't born with that. His feelings were neglected.
Thank God things have changed since this filming (as noted in the narrative above) - hopefully for the better. I hate the fact that so much blame was put on the child and I hate the fact that the word "trauma" wasn't even mentioned, and any trauma Josh experienced was barely addressed in this video. The psychologist in the hearing wasn't even prepared and all the people in charge didn't even seem to care. The "adults" spent so much time talking about and around Josh. Given this kind of attitude, he had more reason to believe he was powerless and he didn't really matter. I'm very glad he improved. The treatment he received after this filming must have been a lot better than what this documentary highlighted.
Given he seems to neurodiversity and a history of deep trauma , abuse and violence, probably why he is . No parent in the world no matter how alone can handle that without help. Its likely hard, but better now than later worse. Because if he wont get help now, he will get in trouble, more trouble. And sadly systems are a bit, looking down on anyone by nature there.
ANOTHER PRODUCT OF THIS FINE WORLD WE LIVE IN..GET BACK IN THE CLOSET!
I completely agree with your observation and was feeling and thinking the same thing as I watched the video and observed how the adults in the room -including the mom and step dad- seemed out of touch with the boys silent internal anguish and sense of helplessness . How these 'professionals' could not see it is beyond me. Anyway, I'm relieved he seems to have gotten through it all in spite of it. Insecure parents in broken marriages without a clue of how such a home environment engenders internal turmoil in a growing child. Can you blame the child?!
Agree! The interviewer lady in the beginning did more communicating w him then anyone
Its not just joshua. This entire family u can tell has had problems for ages. Wonder if mom read n cuddled him. Told him he was loved. Hugged n kissed on the head daily? Good reason not to remarry or play house until kids r all 18. 100% focus on your own family. His mom tossed him away now he has troubles big time
I think what we are seeing here with Josh is a defensive strategy in play to manage and cope with his parents living apart, it has made him more sensitive to feeling the hurtful side of it when the emotional support he reaches out for is not within reach. I wish him every success with the councelling he is receiving, and more importantly I hope he gives his mum a big hug and lots of kisses when he returns home. .
So all know the Mom did right. And the courts system worked for this child in this case. After a year in placement, Josh was reunited with his family and they never had another experience with the juvenile system. He had a few struggles along the way but we learned he is now doing well and is a good father and husband.
Thank you for letting us know. Good to hear he has his family now and doing well.
I feel really sorry for Josh. I feel like Josh is having anger issues because he never resolved the abandonment of his father. Kids don’t know how to communicate with words…. Only action. So sad.. Josh seems like a good kid inside
Kids only know how to communicate with actions lol? So going around and beating your family members is an appropriate reaction or what lol? You're being manipulated into feeling bad for a criminal that deserves to be where he is
@@k98k36 a criminal? the kids 13 and its not like he killed somone lmao people like u r the reason humanity is shit if you dont think someone like him can change
@Machut and I'm gona assume people like you are why criminals can run amok and get out of jail the next day
@@k98k36 😂😂 u have to be trolling lmao if he a criminal y isn’t he locked up or y hasn’t he got in trouble judicially lmao read the video description fool
You are spot on that was my thinking.
When I heard him saying things like “I know she doesn’t want me” I actually started crying. This is heartbreaking to me.
the fact he never lashed out again after the year he got help and now is a father himself & husband doing good is so nice to hear 🥹 a child getting help and being listened to, families getting help as well and acknowledging what the issue is in all of them & how to resolve it, can make all the difference in the child’s development into an adult
His mother showed up for each meeting and advocating for family therapy, no way my mom would show up for each meeting or even consider a family problem. He is a lucky boy. I was never violent but she was. My Dad came and got me to live with him and my stepmother. It was so difficult starting over. Looking back I am grateful.
I just want to hug Joshua and tell him he is loved and wanted. This poor child feels so isolated and alone. The saying "all children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children" rings true in this case. The fact his mother has "given" up on Joshua speaks volumes.
ur so right
His an adult now and is doing good with children and a wife.
@@alexcastillo4468 Thank you for the update. Happy he is doing well
🥺🫂😥
Yep. I've taught classes in a detention center and many of them come from parents who spent their whole lives not being involved with their kids and then suddenly can't figure out why their kids turn on them. Kids almost never just "snap". The issue festers for years before it can no longer be contained.
As a mother I can’t imagine not reaching over and hugging him.😢😢
You can tell she had a lot of play in his growing up… she seems MEAN and I cant even imagine what was happening at home
My thoughts exactly
Same as a father.
I can see both sides. She has tried in the past but she also needed help. And to keep her other kids safe. Sucks from all sides.
I’m happy he is doing well in life. Thank you for the update. ❤
@Penelope_Paris - and thank you for watching!
He isn't doing well.
Poor kid was failed by his mother. What a horrible woman. I bet her kids and grandkids hate her.
kar, dont give opinion about you dont know. She does not failed him. She is the parent....not him.
watching the clip I felt Josh yearned for his real father to be a Dad to him, the fact he is in Texas left him isolated for support, guidance and direction. his father moving away clearly hurt him emotionally far more than he was prepared to say on camera, or to his Mum and that was the problem for him with just an older sister and his Mum. stepfathers don't really count in his eyes, as they are not his family. his Mum seems nice enough, but she's in a new relationship and has moved on with her life leaving Josh isolated, resulting in introverted and occasional angry behaviour. It's good to hear he's now 36 and has a family of his own and is doing well, I really did feel his pain as it was all there for us to see. It would be interesting to see and hear his views of this tape with the benefit of his hindsight and what he thought the period away did for him and if he's used those lessons to now bring up his own family, hopefully without the disruption a divorce etc would bring. good luck to him and his family, wherever they are and I hope he's still not trimming his own hair too! a good video to watch and learn from.
❤
The dad is a bum. Should have lived down the street and spent time with ur kid instead of moving to Texas
Those parents should be ashamed of their shitty job raising this kid. They had FAILED him completely. Juvenile detention is not going to help him if he has an emotional void lingering all his life. A kid that doesn't respect parents is just the reflect of how he was disrespected first. Parents SHOULD go to detention TOO! I'm so sad for this boy.
"Emotional Void" doesn't give a 13 year old the right to beat the hell out of his mother. I had emotional void growing up...but I never punched another person in the face or choked my mother when she told me to go to my room.
Parents may have failed him, but what can you do if he constantly displays explosive temper with violence?
Absolute delinquent kids completely deserve it. They just appear harmless on TV. I really don't understand how you're all supporting that kid. Can you imagine how many times his mom had to go through all of this till she finally made her mind to call the cops?
@@jerrycooper7300 that’s cuz you never had the balls. Don’t talk 💀 chicken Cuz I sure if you were brave enough you would’ve done the same. I did the same once when I was 13 and she beat me up with a metal rod. But at least I had the guts to confront her 🤣 what’s your response
@@jerrycooper7300 You don‘t know what she may have done to him.
Hey Mom, give your son a hug and tell him you love him. Thats what a counselor should say.
The fact that he has adhd tells me he doesn’t feel understood and communicating is difficult. Leaving him with much frustration that comes out as anger. Watching this I want to put my arms around him and just listen to him express himself. It can be difficult dealing with a hyper child but patience and understanding is key. Losing a parent by divorce is always difficult especially if the missing parent is not assessable and a step parent can cause resentment. There are a lot of dynamics going on in their household and I don’t feel the mother gets it. 🙏 prayers for Josh and the family that they learn to listen. Yah bless this family going forward
It broke my heart to hear him say it would be better for his mom and family if he didn't live with him. That poor child.
Neurological exam for josh by the judge? How about psychological evaluation of the mother? Is she a mother figure? Is she a love figure? Is she a family figure? Is she an attachment figure? Is she a parent figure? Is she a friend figure? Remember she is a divorcee & now a mother of lost child. I think she deserves rehabilitation program too as much as her son.
I agree 👍🏼 there's something wrong with the mom as well.. i can see Josh eyes that he is unloved.
I feel so much love and compassion for Josh,I hope things work out for this family.All take take care.
I feel so bad for this child. The sadness in his eyes is really overwhelming. May God give him strength to be able to return to his family,🙏🙏
This is exactly why people think therapy is useless, this kid been in therapy for over 5 years of his life, just about half of his life and it's done nothing but make things worse
Therapy and counselling are useless Cuz most therapists and counsellors and people who think that there's just one right and one wrong Most of them are shallow and cannot see other dimensions For them There's a certain way to behave and to do things and if u dont do it that way then you are wrong They really fo around with 1 textbook assuming that that 1 textbook can explain human complexities
Loved the judge. You can tell she truly had his best interest in his heart
It killed me when my son got arrested and I told them I didn't want my son in my home until he learned 😢😢 I hope all these kids get the help they need
I feel for this kid Josh. I didn't get a long with step when I was a teen and almost thought about running away. Even as an adult I feel abandoned by my family. If I would have known Josh back then I would have given him a lot of support and said you're not alone.
I didn’t know quitting being a parent was an option! She spends so much time talking about him in a negative way , it’s heartbreaking 💔. Yes he had a temper but it’s clear he felt powerless, unloved and was treated as a nuisance.. if you treat a child like he is a bad boy, guess what your going to get? Children live up to there expectations whether they are positive or negative. I hope his dad gets him, understands him, loves him, and values him. It’s pretty clear dear mom has moved on. Sad 😞
Check the description for an update and you might be pleasantly surprised...Update: After a year in placement, Josh was reunited with his family and they never had another experience with the juvenile system. He had a few struggles along the way but we learned he is now doing well and is a good father and husband.
He litterally chocked spit on her and punched her hard enough for his lip to be split over being told to go to his room. He’s smart n knows what he’s doing, she’s probably scared for herself and her daughter. My heart breaks for her it’s a reasonable thing to say after all they’ve done to try and help I hope she heals.
@@araislopez1200 where do you suppose he learned that behavior from?????? Children do what they learn. It’s so awful that grown adults think 🤔 it’s ok to quit when they need help the most; and then act like they had nothing to do with the outcome?! Especially when the child is displaying the very same behavior that his parents exhibit. He might be the squeaky wheel but he isn’t the problem. Who is the adult? The buck stops at the feet of his mother and father.
@Nadine Smith-Jensen parents fo this everyday Push their parental responsibility to the court system. There is no easy parenting. Parents divorce get married to new people and the children are left behind. All to common
Awe, this breaks my heart. We went thru this kind of stuff with 2 of our boys, one has autism and the other had oppositional defiant disorder. They’ve both matured and turned out to be great men, but it sure was a bumpy ride. Telling the judge that you can’t have your child at home for the sake of everyone else’s safety is gut wrenching.
Can’t imagine 😢
I have a genuine question- I notice you mentioned of your son's that one has autism and the other had ODD... just out of curiosity, did you say *had* about the son with ODD because he's grown out of it? I'm not trying to nitpick your sentence or anything but I am genuinely curious if it can be "grown out of" as the foster child who lives with my friend shows signs of ODD and as he gets older (he's 12 now) it seems to be getting worse in alot of ways- he's not violent, at least not yet or to the household but I wonder if it's because he's probably one of the smallest kids in his grade and knows it wouldn't go well (he actually was hitting a girl in elementary school who ended up smacking the hell out of him when he wouldn't stop. Maybe she taught him a lesson ha) I genuinely worry about him because I've read that ODD can develop into/be an early sign of sociopathy/ASPD. But hearing things can get much better is very very very encouraging. Sorry for writing you an essay, lol.
Thank you Ruth, my older brother had/has oppositional disorder. Finally there is a name for it.
I work with children like this but the reality is it’s scary when a child is violent. The boy talks a lot about his father but the rejection is not with his mother, it’s with his father. Just by the way the child is talking in the beginning you can tell this is anger issue. The boy will ask for forgiveness but then will do it again. I see this everyday!!!! And if this is psychologically difficult then why are parents listening to kids make life physical changes into being transgender??? Even the young boy says he doesn’t know. Idk this is tough love. Sad for everyone involved.
all lies.
I’ve always told my almost 18 year old daughter I may not always like what she does but I will always love her! I’m not saying this young boy did not need help outside what his parents could provide but his parents were not providing the love he needs. The last conversation with his mom and step dad is heartbreaking 💔
Could someone just love this kid?
He reminds me of myself when I was younger. In and out of juvenile court. Placed outside the home in a group home a couple times. Hated school was out drinking partying a lot was in something called drug court for drinking so much. Was never violent. But instead of placing back in a group home again they let me live with my aunt and I decided to totally turn my life around at 15. Got a job, did community service, drug court every Thursday, got my GED in 3 months! Finished all that and loved my job at the time for a 15 year old turned 16 and then went to live with my mom in Texas and was a brand new person! He can turn his life around but that’s his own decision!!
At 15 and under you should’ve never even had the opportunity to drink and party. A parent shouldn’t have allowed those things to happen or for u to be exposed to them. I’m glad you turned your life around but many don’t see why they need to because that’s all they know.
Having worked with kids for 20 years I can say with absolute conviction that at least 80% of the boys I worked with were the victims of parents that ranged from lousy to actually dangerous! When you take the time to draw out the truth from the kids (and that can take a lengthy period) and learn just what kind of environment their ´home` actually is and the truth of how they get treated every day, there´s no wonder so many kids end up with behavioural problems, they are reactions to lousy parenting, lack of love, little to no real affection, poor family structures and standards metered out by dysfunctional adults becoming parents! No kid just decides I´m going to act out etc. Its all reactive.
I concur 100%!! 🥰😇 …There is ALWAYS at least one underlying factor, reason for a child’s behavior or lack thereof. Joshua is a 13-year-old boy in this video! He felt strong rejection from his Mom. Is there going to be therapy & well-being for this essential relationship in his youth? He wanted to apologize to her. I hope they’re both guided toward healing & understanding. 🥰 Also, in part of the interview, Joshua shared he Has Been abused (at least physically) previously. He Was/Is scarred even though he denied it. The lump or swallow in his throat, eyes looking away…of course he’s scared! And I haven’t heard mention of any involvement with his step father. Has a child social worker been working with Joshua to seek any and all underlying issues and reasons in order to work with Joshua in depth, for his well-being, health, boundaries, etc. I am glad to see/hear Joshua’s Mother, in particular, wants to continue relationship with him. 🥰😇 I also liked that at the 2nd in-room court appearance, the Judge looked at Joshua, acknowledged him, asked if he had any ?s, & expressed a term of endearment! 🥳☀️ Acknowledgement is SO Important…letting them know you’re aware of them, See them. 🥰 And as I shared above, I Love that the Judge told Joshua’s Mom she needs to tell HIM/validate to HIM how loved & valuable he is!! 🥰 Ohhhh!! No No Mo Step Father!!! Joshua IS a good person!! Bad behavior does Not mean he’s Not ok or lovable!! You just made him feel that way!!
Absolute delinquent kids completely deserve it. They just appear harmless on TV. I really don't understand how you're all supporting that kid. Can you imagine how many times his mom had to go through all of this till she finally made her mind to call the cops?
@@bharatgoel8809 shows how little you understand of the process from birth to adulthood and what happens to that child during those years to create the eventual adult. Hope you don't have kids!
@@sayitasiseeit626 ahaha someone who says absolute profanity like "hope you don't have kids" Doesn't even deserve to have an opinion. I said that based on a personal experience with my niece and her mother. It's not always the parent's fault. Stop rendering children completely innocent when some of them can truly be irredeemable.
@@bharatgoel8809 oh, right. So, my psychology degree, 20 years of working with kids and parents in 3 different countries and a family, is valueless compared to one guy who has observed his one niece, so I guess you must have it all worked out much better than me then. Good luck when you have a family.
It took a long time for mum to tell him she loved him. When she finally did it was muffled in the quick embrace. She said 'love you' like a throw away line that's expected. Step dad didn't even say he was loved by him. This child needs to see some true meaning behind those 3 words. They can so easily be said with or without true feeling behind the spoken words of I love you. Good luck Josh. I very much feel the pain you have with a broken heart.
I don't remember my dad ever telling me he loved me.
these parents putting their kids in jail are totally insane
Please interview Joshua! We would love to hear from him and see how he’s doing 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Yes! Spread the word, though of course this is completely fine if the family doesn't feel comfortable with this. (Pro tip, like and *reply* to this comment, it helps drive up KZhead engagement and therefore means this comment will be seen by the authors of the video!)
I'm gonna keep replying to this every few days.
In the more section it says this “Update: After a year in placement, Josh was reunited with his family and they never had another experience with the juvenile system. He had a few struggles along the way but we learned he is now doing well and is a good father and husband.”
@@sarahemf I mean, it'd be cool if we could have like a video interview or something. Anyway at least the story had a "good" outcome.
So glad to hear that he grew up to be a good man & dad.
He did ?
@@braveheart6665 farted
And where exactly is there a possibility to get an update or follow up for this kid?
@Lucy Espinal let me get your Facebook
In the description at the end it has the update 😊
These parents should be reprimanded and taught how to be a parent.
I was at the same age when I was sent to care by my parents, after psychs, doctors, ect. It went down hill from there. Ended up in a girls home that damaged me for life. Im 72 and the memories of that place still haunt me.
@elizabethpinkerton9866 - Thank you for such a poignant comment. We are so sorry you are still haunted by what happened to you as a child. There is a movement today to focus on what's called "trauma informed care." The idea behind it is for professionals in prisons and placement facilities to focus on the trauma children have been through before they focus on anything else. Until they unravel and hopefully fix the trauma, they're working on the wrong thing. Thank you again for sharing your story. It helps others see they might not be alone.