Congressional Fight Club | Biden and Xi Play It Cool | Dems Hand Mike Johnson a Victory
GOP infighting has turned the halls of Congress into a fight club, the U.S. and China set low expectations for the Biden-Xi meeting, and the new House Speaker took heat from his own party after passing a government spending bill with help from Democrats. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.
"Sit down! You're a United States Senator" Said by an Independent Senator Berny Sanders, a good and courageous man.
He has always been amazing!
I wish that I'd realize just how amazing he is years ago. I wish everyone had.
Too bad the DNC sabotaged his previous presidential campaign
For those people who tell us who complain about the two party system...Bernie Sanders is proof that voting third party is not throwing your vote away!
@@lenawagenfuehr53 Biden and his administration in first 2y: 1) The American rescue plan.. 2) The Infrastructure plan.. 3) Gun safety bill.. 4) The Chips act (boom in manufacturing).. 5) The Pact act (healthcare veterans).. 6) The Inflation reduction act (allocating record funding to fight climate change, allowing governments to negotiate with drug companies to lower drug prices, capping prices for seniors - cut insulin to $35)).. 7) more than 13 million new jobs - lowest unemployment in 50y..
Whoever came up with Thunda in the Rotunda, take a bow.
Thankful that the writers strike ended. Top notch comedy writing.
"He said, Xi said" is a gold tier Dad joke. Classic.
I love Bernie, as a person, he’s a rock and the voice of reason.❤
Evidentially when Fetterman said Americans do not always send their bright and best, he was telling the truth.
People from all touristic capitals if the world agree.
"Evidentially"...?
@@MariaMartinez-researcher Err... what???
No worries, I had to look it up too! Meaning of evidentially in English: in a way that provides or relates to evidence (= reasons for believing that something is or is not true): Evidentially weak cases are rejected and do not proceed to a trial. If there is no confession, the facts must be proved evidentially. Related word. evidential. Thanks for this!
Fetterman is not bright or best.
When I first heard Mullin threatened to fight I thought "Well at least that makes him less of a hypocritical little b*tch like Hawley, at least he's willing to throw down." I kind of ignored the bit where Bernie said "You're a US senator!" because I was so busy imagining the Senate just divolve into a brawl, but then I snapped out of it when Mullin said he'd bite someone. Then it hit me all at once. I just watched a senator go on TV and threaten to bite a guy. What kind of freaking cartoon ass world is this?
According to laalaa99stl (above), it's the Itchy and Scratchy Show
And the senate is supposed to hold the best, brightest and most passionate...
The victory laps are what made it worse. He thought he did something great and hate media validates him.
Andrew Jackson shouldn't be anyone's standard of conduct.
How is this guy a Senator?! I would get fired immediately and escorted off the premises by security if I acted this way. How do these people get away with this and worse things like breaking the law left and right? 😠
Excellent point!
Who guards the guardians?
Show the GOP to the door and Vote Blue in 2024!!! 💙💙💙💙
OMG!! The Bernie hand…. I’m dyin here 😅 “Socialist finger point” holy crap 😂 The writers are on fire tonight, the strike musta stoked them up, that’s some of the funniest shit I’ve seen in a minute and Steven’s delivery was on point!
The delivery is what made that skit masterful…. SC delivers it better than anyone else in late nite!… easily!
"You stand your butt up." And the senator stands his butt up. Better than the Westminster Dog Show.
:) Too sad he got saved by the Bern...
Toxic masculinity, bad judgment, and 'roid rage on full display. What an embarrassment.
@@TheMonroemomma ...and that belt! Right up there with Ted Cruz' gogo boots :)
The GOP is out of control. I will not be voting Republican.
Hearing Rep Bob Good describe the everyday operation of Congress like a football game that one side wins and the other side loses, makes it clear why it's a broken system.
I once had a boss that often used sports metaphors. Probably the most spineless dishonest boss I ever had.
Having been an (outside) observer of the goings-on in USA these last years, what one sees roughly boils down to this: The left seems to be (mostly) on the right side of history and common sense, while the right seems to (mostly) have left history and common sense altogether. To condense it even further: The left is mostly right, and the right has mostly left reality.
👏
👏👏👏💯
Finally, someone abroad who understands American politics.👍
Well, you're wrong, they're both nutz. The Republicans want a dictator, and the Dems think men can be women if they just think it. America is screwed
Perfectly said.
Picking a fight with a teamster is bonkers 😂 that’s how you end up missing.
Maybe we can hire some Teamsters to get rid of the bad orange we have rotting our Country. 🚫🍊🤡
ALLEGEDLY
When the US is hard to recognize anymore it is refreshing to see Steven Colbert has indeed stayed the same. Honestly that piece of stability is appreciated!
"No, Kevin McCarthy has guts, what he doesn't have is balls" That was one of my favorite jokes this segment lol
Any one who takes a phone from Trump and listens has no guts or balls. They are just idiot rule breaker toadies.
"If I hit him, he'd be on the ground and.... then people would like me...." is exactly what I also heard from McCarthy. 🤣🤣
Elected officials behaving worse than children. They’re an embarrassment. Thank you Bernie for being the adult in the room.
Isn’t it great to see grown up sensible pragmatists. We’ve had enough of the childishness From our PAID representatives here in UK too. Someone called it angertainment recently but it’s not entertaining and people are being turned off.
Emotional men are dangerous
Bernie acting like an old person saved the situation.
@@trowawayacc Bernie was acting like a normal person.
& isn’t this the same elected official from Oklahoma who said their’ state not legalizing Cannabis would be, “thankful for their’ states mental health,” or some b.s. like that?
It’s good to know our politicians have the emotional stability of an average middle schooler
As a Vermonter I get a chuckle every time Stephen does his impression of Bernie Sanders.
"Apparently, even _talking_ about football causes brain damage." 😜
Strange listening to a descendant of native Americans speaking favorably about Andrew Jackson (who was responsible for the "trail of tears"). These Republicans need to take a history class!
one of my favorite things in the world is Stephen's imitation of Bernie Sanders.
The only show that can make me laugh at the mess our country is in. GREAT WORK Steven and writers!
Oh man in that case if you haven't watched it yet, try Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. You will never laugh so hard whilst slipping into an existential crisis over the state of things here in the America. It's hilariously depressing lol
Me too. But don't you sometimes worry when you see and hear the current state of our politics? I laughed along too mostly but as a veteran who served my country proudly there are times I shake my head in disgust in how many of our elected officials are behaving and acting lately without honor and civility, like that lunatic from Oklahoma who said his constituents send him to Washington to do just that 😢
Bernie, at his age, clipped their wings. Good for him.
Like grandpa taking you to the woodshed.
And people said he was too old to be President...how are the guys who are 5 years younger working out?
Biden doesn't even know what day it is, bring on commie Bernie.
He just needs a uncle iro scene where he opens his shirt and is all ripped
Oklahoma values? God. The only solace I had about living in a red state was that our republican representatives weren't nearly as embarrassing as those from Florida, Texas, and Georgia. Sigh, it was only a matter of time I suppose.
That hand cameo was pure gold!! 😅😅😅😅
"punk ass congress people..." My stomach still hurts from laughing at that statement.
Love your Bernie Sanders impression!
We laugh, but kicking two smaller cans down the road is how they are going to give the impression that they care about governing.
What they are going to do is wait for the 2nd deadline to approach and say "we've gone without [all the things funded in the 1st deadline] for X weeks and the country has been fine. We can cut those things."
While they work as hard as they ever work at anything to dismantle all government institutions.
Colbert's bernie impression is a work of art
I love how they reference Andrew Jackson ….the second worst cruelest president in our history. He was number one for over a hundred years.
Never underestimate the power of Bernie’s hand! 🤌🏼
Remember, Bernie has "MITTS", and he's not affraid to wear them!😅
"Bernie's hand" had me rolling on the floor! 😂
“For the Republic, you Snap into a Slim Jim!” 😂
The Sanders hand puppet! 🤣 This is better than some comedy specials
🫲🖖🤌👌🤙🫰🤟🤘👏🤣🫶👍✌️
That had me howling.
Now we know why he had such awesome mittens. Gotta protect them hands.
Proves that SC has the best delivery of all late nite shows!
You call it “Fight Club.” I call it “Real Housewives.”
I agree 100%, all mediocre electoral theater. PS: What could possibly be the added value of a brain dead cage fighter to national politics? It proves that voters have lost confidence in politicians. The next vote will be even worse!
This was one of the best Late Show monologues I've ever seen, thanks for getting us through these crazy times
This was an exceptionally great monologue,funnier than usual. Thanks, Stephen!
"When Mike Johnson reaches across the isle...his kid gets a TEXT" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Bernie to the rescue 🤣🤣🤣
When you need Bernie as a tear up a dog fight then you now that it's all about theater and electoral profiling.
@@JZsBFF isn't all political theater from the right ?
@@lesleedetchon Probably. They don''t have any else of added value for the nation to offer.
Louis laughing is everything in this segment! I can hear the shock in his laughter, lol
"Socialist finger pointing." That is comedy gold.
Can we give Bernie another shot at President.
Can we take what we know now, load up in a time machine, and go back to 2016 and make sure he gets the nomination?
Whisht with your crying! You wouldn't listen to sense in 2016. The DNC did the most undemocratic thing by throwing Bernie under the bus so they could run Hillary and none of ye said a thing, then or now. You made your bed, you lie in it. You don't deserve Bernie Sanders.
Colbert doing a Bernie impression doing a French fox impression, is that next-level shit I came here for.
That's when I went, omg we're in for it now!
The monologue writers were on fire for this one! 🔥 🔥 🔥
That was one of the BEST opening monologues of any late night show. EVER.
Just when you thought the GOP couldn't get any lower, they turn around and surprise us all. Great for comedians, terrible for the country.
you are uu😅😅
This two-step CR is a magical way to turn ONE government shutdown threat into TWO government shutdown threats. Ta-da!!!
We got a year, don’t be complacent and get out and vote!
So I saw this comment, and then was gonna condescendingly say "You're surprised? Nothing surprised me about these people anymore." And right before I hit post, he mentioned biting 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Munching on junk - and proud of it. A new low!
McCarthy has balls they are just in a jar on Trumps mantle.
Stephen Colbert has the best writers in the industry.
I’m sitting here all by myself, laughing out loud. In these times, it feels so good. Great monologue!
Thank you for still keeping this available to Canadian 🇨🇦 KZhead watchers. We can no longer see Jimmy Fallon or Seth Meyers. Canadian KZheaders are angry. Please put this in a monolog. We don't know why. ❤ Canada 🇨🇦
Vpn?
No thanks, too many scam attachments
Idiocracy is not a movie, it is the Republican Party. And apparently, half of the people in our country are fine with that.
Well just one third.
@@triciac1019 I'm not just talking about the MAGA Cult. There are a whole lot of Republicans who will vote Republican because that's what they've always done.
Camacho is running for president, so...
Nah, in Idiocracy they were as least smart enough to try turning to the smartest guy in the country for a solution.
@@triciac1019 So why do nearly half of the voters vote for fascist Republicans?
I haven't laughed this hard at a monologue in a while lol.. Stephen Colbert you are everything 😂❤
Bernie is America's cool grandpa.
Wow. Oklahoma scarped the bottom of the barrel for senator Mullin
"When Mike Johnson reaches across the isle...his kid gets a TEXT" . The Bernie Sanders hand skit was comedy gold..
That was your best monologue ever Stephen! Thank you! My stomach hurts😂
Thank you GOP, for not backing down and showing your true colors. It only adds to the reasons why I will NOT vote for you. I salute you 👏
I salute you too!💯🇺🇲
for backing down* there fixed that for you. Never surrender, except for mugshots!
They are useless and very immature
I've never voted for the GOP, and I never will!
@@CourageKarnga they are all bullies and their actual policies always benefit the rich, never the little guys/non rich. 🤗
The Sanders’s hand-puppet killed me 😂😅🤣👏🏾👍🏾🫶🏾🇨🇦
To the random woman who found it necessary to scream "you don't talk about fight club" in the crowd. Lol you tell them! 😂
Bernie stopped a “tough guy” richard-measuring contest in congress.
I'm convinced that's what their constant "thumbs up" gestures are...micro-measurement displays.
Why did that guy touch his left ring finger? Was he about to violate his covenant marriage? And, man, check out role of AJackson role in Trail of Tears if you want to say you have blood of Cherokee. Ban the $20. Put a Cherokee symbol on $20, not AJ
If we are being extremely honest, we really are waiting for the main event - Lauren Boebert v Marjorie Taylor Green. I understand tickets are already being sold for that punch up.
thats the undercard
Will it be in a pool of mud? They're both pretty good at slinging it.
Greene isn't tall enough to ride Hoe-Boe's Beetlesled.
DAYUM, I needed some absurdist belly laughs right now! TYSM, Team Colbert!!
I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. The Bernie Sanders Hand puppets was is gold! 😂😂😂 🏆
That Bernie hand puppet made me legit laugh out loud.
Same. I laughed harder than I expected to.
Channeling Soupy Sales White Fang and Black Tooth...
Yesterday's line was the funniest, "and if you don't sit down right now, I'm gonna redistribute the top 10% of my fist to 99% of your face!" 😂😂😂
@@tonygeorge470lmao
The Bernie Sanders hand skit was comedy gold.
Agreed….. but the delivery by SC is what made it a masterpiece!
Lol was the French fox improvised? 😂😂😂
That’s what Xi said 😂
I really want that to be a reoccurring character.
I chocked laughing 😂😂😂 watched it 5 times, so good 😂
"You're a United States Senator, sit down." Why does Bernie have to remind them they're adults? So embarrassing.
I know it's a manner of speech, but as a merchant mariner, I love that Stephen welcomes all the ships at sea. I've watched his show every morning from a ship at sea.
Colbert doing Sanders’ hand from the side of the screen had me laughing hysterically.
Me, too! I was howling!
That is why SC has the best delivery in the business!
when i first saw the newsclip, with just bernie's hand waving around in the frame, i had the volume off but still knew who it was.
Yess😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Sanders doing Sander's hand from the side of the screen had me laughing hysterically!
"Every time Johnson reaches across the aisle ... his son gets an alert on his phone" is the epitome of the Colbert brand.
Why on earth isnt that senator being held accountable??? Seriously he tried to commit assault ❤🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Man I'm so glad that we have mature adults running our country. As an immature 25 year old I would want people to have a conversation or something!
By god! It's the most electrifying move in politics, it's The People's Finger!!
82 YO Bernie Sanders gets them to sit down
Stephen's Sanders impression is the funniest thing I've ever seen, next to the Scaramucci impression. He should get an emmy just for that. 😂😂😂
Love you, Mr Colbert. So good.
I live in Oklahoma and I find Mullin deplorable. I can't wait to vote against him. God bless Bernie!
He's up again in 2026..😢
If Mullin isn't up for reelection until 2026, yikes, I'm so sorry we have to wait that long for you to vote him out.
There must be a bunch of angry Oklahomans today. Talk about poor representation!
The sad thing is that mullin will have better traction with the MAGATS in OK, by pulling the “ I ‘m a tuff shit” shenanigan!
@@Bluetangg most of his base has discovered politics-as-entertainment and probably LOVED what he did there.
Stephen and his writting staff were on fire tonight.
Only Colbert could make hand puppets entertaining 🤣
Colbert as Bernie’s hands is awesome💗💗💕.Likewise loving the Wisconsin GOP candidate short sketch. Hope she becomes a regular feature.
"...don't expect him to punt on first down." 😂 Really? Rarely heard so many words to say absolutely nothing!
Anyone else embarrassed? I am! What the hell is going on around here?
Damn, that was a good one. Big bonuses for the writers this month.
OK, this is the FUNNIEST Late Show in eons. Kudos to the writers! Now I gotta go change my pants.
So happy to hear your Bernie imitation once more!!
"...Je suis un renard." Angry and bossy, of course the anonymous hand is from here. As usual, Stephen Colbert already made my day. 🇫🇷❤️🇺🇲
The French fox lol
Bern took control of both of them kids and showed them what an adult, Senator, and a real man is suppose to be! Get'm Bern!!!
"No mercy, bite his sack!" 😂
This monologue was great, as always, but that ad for Patricia Corker was simply sublime.
He said, Xi said. 😂 Bernie Sanders' 😊fist has more sense than those two yoyos behaving like dolts on the Senate floor. What is wrong with everybody?!
Toxic masculinity is what's wrong.
Good Grief, kindergarten in the Legislature. No, the Legislature is kindergarten. How embarrassing that we the American people put such infantile people in government. We have no one but ourselves to blame.
Hope you are Well Very Soon, Stephen Colbert ! Seeing this reminds me of how much I miss your hilarious Sanity !!
That last skit was deadly!! It fits the phrase: "I didn't know that evil could look so nice and speak so sweetly." The whole monologue was hilarious!!😂😂
That's what evil does. Have you heard of a succubus?
@@frankrizzuto5948 Didn't think of that... and that's a great point!!
"He said, Xi said", Well played.
It's becoming more and more often that I think to myself, "My gawd, Idiocracy was right!"
On fire, esp that ending - had me rolling!!!
Accustomed as I am to laughing at Mr. Colbert's .excellent comedic monologs, I have to say that this one truly stands out - a masterpiece! Kudos to Steve, his creative staff and CBS for continuing to support American democracy.
Admit it, you just like hearing about republicans biting each other's junk
*Colbert's excellent *monologues
*Christ...!!!@@alvallac2171
Mr. Colbert was truly funny and your remark that we live in a Democracy is simply hilarious.
indeed
I'm dying! This is the funniest monologue of the year!