Growing Up With Lori Vallow - Cousin Megan Conner | Ep 1760
Today accused murderer Lori Vallow’s cousin, Megan Conner, shares what it was like to grow up as a cousin to the Cox family. She also discusses the Mormon ties to the Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell murders, and discusses her own Mormon faith transition.
00:01:20 Lori was raised Mormon and became a prepper
00:02:16 Megan Conner is Lori Vallow’s cousin
00:02:44 Content warning, death of children and adults
00:05:00 Disclaimers
00:08:20 Mindy Caldwell Disclaimer
00:10:00 LDS prepper ideas and conferences, etc.
00:12:22 How does a Mormon mom kill so many people?
00:12:45 The beginning of Megan’s Mormon story,
00:15:20 Stories of Noni, Lori’s grandmother
00:18:13 Cliff and Janis grew up in a faithful home, strict, not model Mormon
00:20:19 Summary of the family culture
00:29:00 Themes in Noni’s family, carried into Megan’s family
00:31:30 Experiences with Lori’s family growing up
00:33:00 Lori’s dad took the girl cousins to see Rambo
00:34:00 About Lori’s family and her parents
00:43:00 Troubling swimsuit “photo shoot” as a teen girl with Lori’s dad
00:45:50 Barry’s relationship with church, he was the self proclaimed patriarch of his siblings.
00:49:00 Janis’ lifestyle, smart yet she’d wear high heels, makeup
00:51:10 Double life of Lori’s parents
00:52:20 Stake Conference thinking: “How many of you are secretly abusing people?”
00:58:30 Impressions of Lori as a teen
01:02:15 Alex
01:06:15 Janis probably had an eating disorder
01:08:40 How the Cox’s were perceived by their neighbors and others?
01:10:00 Alex’s inability to form attachments
01:12:20 Story of Lori and Megan on a double date, killing a cat
01:15:07 Lori’s antisocial personality disorder, no empathy
01:17:14 Girls camp story - The Legend of Liahona
01:24:00 Bishop not endorsing her BYU application
01:26:20 She went to the University of Connecticut
01:34:30 Lori marries her high school boyfriend, Nelson a nonmember.
01:37:27 Adam was a DJ in a top radio station, Lori was working at a tanning salon.
01:38:40 Story of Megan and Lori going on a date with the same guy
01:44:02 Megan married a non-Mormon
01:45:15 Megan realizes she’s bisexual,
01:47:50 Megan’s engagement to another man, her family’s reaction, she gets pregnant
01:55:30 Megan is faced with marrying this man or putting her baby up for adoption.
02:00:20 Lori was my bridesmaid and held my daughter
02:02:40 Megan’s daughter and Lori’s son, Colby are the same age
02:03:45 Megan goes back to church, husband gets baptized
02:13:45 Miscarriage and eternal families
02:26:18 Ugly divorce with Lori and Joe Ryan
02:30:50 The story of Stacey’s death
02:47:40 Joe Ryan’s death
02:52:50 Lori is recorded at a fireside, saying, “I either need to commit murder or go to the temple.”
03:11:20 Timing and order of the deaths
03:13:08 Chad has a list of everyone in the family of whether they’re light or dark.
03:21:40 This isn’t a fairytale, this is real life,
03:28:28 Suspicions on the timeline with Alex’s death
03:40:34 The silence from Salt Lake City is deafening.
03:45:50 Story of Sandra Tanner and the historian
04:02:30 Comparing investing with learning anti-Mormon material
04:07:00 The Doctrine determines the culture
04:10:20 Is the Church complicit in the deaths that occurred?
04:10:40 Lori has not been excommunicated.
04:17:00 Where the church can start, a letter that speaks against the Church of the First Born.
04:20:55 The truth is the only thing that really matters, and the truth is harmful.
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Charles also went to the Bishop and law enforcement begging for help concerned for Lori. He was ignored. He tried to get a mental assessment done on her but it wasn't enforced or followed up. Separately, Heather Daybell also went to her church leadership with concerns and was brushed off.
Lori DID go to the mental health assessment that Charles initiated. She PASSED whatever questions they asked her (would love to get ahold of THAT meeting) and they LET HER GO. 😭 Btw, Melanie Gibb stated this in one of her interviews, and said that she accompanied Lori to that assessment, waited for her there until it was over, and then they left together.
The police officers actually told Lori how to get out of having to comply with the mental evaluation. Is there, on a video that was recorded with one of the officers body cam.... Unreal! AZ really screwed up this case, have they taken action after Charles murder, Tylee, JJ, & Tammy will still be alive, & Lori & Alex would have been in prison.
Yes! And the LDS church need to answer for their negligence 😡
The moderator of this podcast is not listening and it makes this podcast hard to listen to, no one takes notes no one is prepared!
@@tlc4701 I agree!! She was asked several times questions she had already answered! This guy gave me the creeps, he is only in it for views not the actual story. Otherwise he would pay attention! He frustrated me right through out the podcast and he was actually quite rude in some of it and showed little compassion!
So many people are saying this has nothing to do with LDS and telling people that it is is a stretch but I'm glad Megan is saying what she's saying because these beliefs that Chad and Lori have came from somewhere.
I would say it was a stretch too if I were still a member 😂
These are not our LDS beliefs
their mentality is the problem they would've ran with that from any old teaching its not fair to blame the church.
These are based in Mormon beliefs but twisted out of their context.
No shit, anyone who believes otherwise is so seriously disturbed. And brainwashed.
I have no idea how I ended up on this video! I'm not religious, not Mormon and live in the UK, I had to Google who Lori Vallow was. I found Megan Conners story absolutely amazing and insightful. Thank you.
Have you learned the rest of the story yet? 😢😢
@@emilyflotilla931 Hi Emily, yes, I've done a deep dive on the background story. Wow, Lori and Chad are very very ill, a cult situation going on there. So sad that so many people died because of her and by her and her partner.
@contiflex The stuff nightmares are made of! Thank Goodness she won't hurt anyone else.
@contiflex. You and me both! Not religious, not Mormon, in the UK. Googled Vallow Daybell and here I am.
@contiflex It’s riveting, isn’t it? I was baptized Catholic, just woke up one day in 2001 and realized that most of it was a crock of shyte. It was the child sex abuse done by the higher-ups that tore it for me. There is much I admire about the LDS faith-the way they help their neighbors, their stocking up their pantries to have a food reserve…one thinks of the locust swarm devastating the early LDS pioneers’ crops, then the flock of seagulls coming to the rescue by eating the locusts! I think the seagull may be the Utah state bird. We need to be accepting of different faiths, that helps us make a better world.
Probably the best Cox family reveal of all time. Thank-you Megan for your many candid and insightful observations. What happened with Stacey made my head explode. It was right under our noses all along but none of us could even imagine this. This explains sooooo much. Megan that whole night was completely staged. The Cox's (ALL!) conveniently "In Hawaii" except for the family hit man. They let your parents do the heavy lifting with making all the arrangements, while they frolicked in the sun. The Lori apple did not fall off the tree accidentally. The entire barrell was rotten. Lori was just following the family script: Alibi 101. Point Alex in the right direction and say GO.
Also, I’d even say that Lori was part of the planning of her sisters murder. That’s why she felt so confident to do it again with her angel alex her brother and lover. Sick sick people. This entire family is to blame especially the mother Janice and father Barry! All culpable.
This was so great! I loved it! Thank you for your insights Megan! I wondered way back about Stacey’s death, as there was such a trail. It makes so much sense! Megan, John and Mindy~ THANK YOU! ESPECIALLY, shares that were so difficult!❤❤❤
Didn't Janice debunk the notion that " Alex isn't the family hitman" on national TV ??!! So many suspicious deaths surrounding these people.
@karen maguire WELL SAID!
EVIL!
I’ve never watched a four-hour podcast in one sitting before. This was just so fascinating.
Welcome to the marathon that is Mormon stories. I love listening to these long podcasts while I work from home.
Same❤
Given the family didn’t come back to see their dying daughter, speaks volumes of what evil this family is capable of …
Isn't it shocking? So cold
Doesn’t it?
I think they went to Hawaii while Alex "helped her go". It seems this could be the origin of the pattern for Lori. Go to Hawaii while Alex takes care of something the family doesn't want around. Being a burden, outing the family secrets etc.
I think it's really sus that Lori was leaving baby Colby with her father (an arguably known alleged abuser) considering Colby never retracted the claims against Tylee's dad but investigators cleared Tylee's dad and his home as an abusive person/location. Was Lori trying to clean up her dad's abuse of colby
@@pikachu7572 i think she manipulated Colby into thinking he was SA by Joe Ryan so he to this day beieves its true. I thought it was all made up but maybe it was her dad that SA Colby and she covered it up.
Ive never listened to a podcast this long but i was so entralled by her story. What a brave beautiful woman.
I love how crazy long Mormon Stories goes.
Megan describes the REAL Lori. She was never the 'sweet' Lori described by some who could not see through her manipulation.
What their describing is a sociopath. Lori watched the behavior of others, their emotional reaction and copied it. She realized being sweet would work well for her so that's how she behaved.
Riveting
Just like Scientology
@@finalflowerchildEXACTLY 💯
@Synaesthesia I knew a sociopath up close. They're born that way.
The circumstances surrounding Stacy's death have always sounded suspicious to me. The story that Megan suggests sounds closer to the truth. Also the Cox's are big life insurance fans. How many policies were written in Stacy's name prior to her death?
My questions exactly. I would love to know!
Well, we know now that if something was about to go down, Lori needed to get to Hawaii. She literally took that idea from her parents!
She is EXACTLY RIGHT about how the church treats the fatherless or divorced. I was treated HORRIBLY, and was even told I could no longer have the missionaries to dinner, because, I was single and would be tempted to sleep with the missionaries. Soooo gross. No matter how hard I tried I was cast aside. Oh; the abuse runs deep as to what they did to me.
I don't understand how Lori could be divorced so many times yet be in good standing within the LDS church?!?!
Lmfao I’ve only heard of this happening in Utah and the 1980s. Craziness.
@thecandicewang because she was white and her husbands had enough good money to give tithing every month.
I'm so glad people are getting out or Mormonism. Leaving Catholicism was one of the best things I've ever done. It is hard not to have a faith community, but the abuses inherent in religion far outweigh any benefits.
I was hoping to hear more from Megan after listening to the interview she did on Hidden True Crime. She’s such a good speaker! I wish all the best for her and her family.
I believe these are MAN made teachings …Non of which have actual proof to back up the teachings they teach….Megan brings up validity to what she is saying…she needs to speak to more people and groups to open their minds…
Me too!
@Jazzy’s Mommy, yep, man made to control others. You see it in other religions too. They also use it as a front to hide their "sins". Think of all of the molestation of children that has occurred by holy than thou members of the Catholic and Mormon churches alone.🤬
Megan be careful with this family pray for protection as they do not fear hurting others!
@@glynn8206Why are you trying to advise her. She knows them intimately
I have never been more riveted by an interview as I have this one, thank you Megan for having a courage to speak out
Me too. Fabulous insight❤
same. I'm not even Mormon (but there is some overlap )-- can't help but thinking this incredibly insightful earnest and poignant woman is exactly the type of person who will lead to some kind of new future that dismantles structures of power for powers sake. Very very insightful
Doesn’t this resonate with the 2001 Movie Frailty?
This woman’s strength. 😮
@@ev1193 ha - i forgot about that movie. Bill Paxton was too cool
Riveting interview! This guest shares information you won't find anywhere else. Mormonism is so much a part of this horrific story, and she lays it out perfectly.
so true
Mormonism is wack.
“Parenting is a real thing, not just a concept” that resonated with me so much! Thanks for all involved, what a great discussion and story.
I grew up Jehovah’s Witness. I had no idea how much this control goes in. Different religion but so many “wow” moments of clarification about my own upbringing and damage cause by it. Thank you for this insight and into Lori and her family. Ties a lot of things together in this heartbreaking case. ❤️
Hope you're both PO/MO
@@easttntab I'm pretty sure Charles was into Seventh Day Adventist, they believe in sleep death, many similar beliefs.
@@1Andelina1no, he was lifelong roman catholic
Jws just stick w the Bible tho, not whacked out teachings, the Bible does have rules yknow
Best thing in the world for this orthodox raised mormon girl was to go to a private Catholic college I owe them so much. John's comment really got me. I just wanted to say how healthy and happy I was at Catholic school and even though I never converted, I was surrounded by people who really cared about me for who I was. Maybe someone needs to hesr this because it an authentic loving community and I thank God everyday I didn't end up at a mormon school.
I glad it was good experience for you. I went to a Catholic University. I am Catholic but there were many non Catholics. We didn't have those ethics standards like BYU. I can't imagine going to Mormon school. When I first listened to MS guest's talk about BYU to me it sounded like major thing was to find spouse not education.
@@merricat3025 Exactly, my Catholic School was about education, critical thinking, and it did wonders for healing my trauma.
@@mrs.stephens8744 ❤️
I’m grateful for my Catholic education bc of how safe, enriching, and compassionate the environment was. Although, I have noticed that there’s ALOT of disdain and almost competition(?), or something similar, generally felt by Mormons re: Catholicism… I’m not sure why it’s stronger or more obvious/distinguishable, than how they feel abt &/or regard any of the other Christian denominations?
Was it a Jesuit school? Curious because they tend to be a bit more open w education
Such a beautiful strong woman! I am blown away by her personality perseverance and resilience! 6 kids! No support nor from man or her family! Yet she’s intelligent, articulate, bright and empathetic! Wow! This cult she grew up in could not destroy her amazing spirit! She should be given all possible platforms to talk and advocate for kids and women, she is the example of the victorious person against the heinous system! Wow
I am really enjoying having Mindy as Co host. She does a great job at validating and she is adding a lot to this episode
Mindy is righteous.
She’s a very good listener which is encouraging in contrast to the other host who tends to mix things up and forget things quickly
@@NachoAE360 yes! i came to the comments to see if anyone else felt that way about him. easy things
I am a follower of the story of Chad and Lori, I am R/C and live in Australia. I was so shocked at the male host who seemingly had done absolutely no research. He was totally annoying and thank goodness he had Mindy. Megan did really well in how she did not become irritated by this. She is an amazing person who deserves the best in her future.
@@lorrainehughes-smith199Yeah, I just found this channel a week ago, and I enjoy the stories, but John is constantly asking questions about things the guest just answered. It gives the impression that he isn't listening, and his guests are being very courageous by telling their stories.
Megan should write a book. Her stories are fascinating and her wisdom and heart shine through her words.
I think she did write a book. She said she did write a book during COVID.
She has written a book but not about Lori and Chad. From what I’ve read it’s about being sex trafficked in her early teenage years. Also how sexual trafficking is often not what we think it is. I believe it occurred 3-4 years but yet she still went to school every day and slept in her own bed every night. I believe I got that info from Hidden True Crime and Megan’s interview with them. I believe it is in the description.
Absolutely I'd buy it
I agree, she makes so much sense. I feel her pain and anguish. Someone in the comments used riveting, exactly.
@@kissykay07 I think that’s a different Megan conners. I looked up books about sex trafficking and the picture doesn’t match her. It’s a woman that I think may be younger than her and that had cancer.
Alex had admitted to the plan to murder Joe and Joe filled police reports about alex stalking him for months. Alex was planning to kill Joe Ryan the same way he ended up killing Charles. Police interviewed Alexs ex wife and she recounted what Alex had told her “Alex had indicated to Debbie that he wanted to bait Joseph into a fight so that he could kill him in seif-defense. It was said in a joking way but seemed weird to Debbie. As a result of this conversation she never talked with Alex again.” It’s a tragedy that Joseph Ryan will never get justice because he was murdered.
Megan so much Cox family insight. I am related to Joe Ryan. I can fill in the blanks on some of your concerns surrounding his death. I have to say, a lot of what you talk about, Lori's upbringing, her narcissistic behavior at a young age really confirms a lot of what Joe and I talked about. Also, to clarify Joe never legally adopted Colby.
I wasn’t raised Mormon but I do have childhood trauma and this gal s journey is so inspiring to me. How she started to change things that caused her stress and panic attacks. Powerful testament to healing. ☀️
I’m so impressed with Megan’s intelligence and ability to articulate given how close she is to all of this. She’s clearly done a lot of amazing inner work to overcome her family system. 💜
Peeking into their family dynamic and how her church was, as well as the Mormon religion, its hard to imagine anyone overcoming it all. She's a fucking legend, must have been awful
I really agree
Such a strong and courageous woman ❤ I saw Megan’s interview w/ Lauren on Hidden True Crime and was saddened by her struggles and family’s pain. Thank you for sharing your truth so that ppl can relate better to the story and better understand the group/ppl’s background & motives, hopefully. Megan is very poised, strong, beautiful, & BRAVE; I commend her desire to explore her own family dynamics, shine light on the skeletons in its closet, & find the strength to survive and THRIVE… despite all that she’s been through, as well as do what it take to find a place that’s safer and more comfortable and supportive. Prayers for her and her Fam. ❤
I have never been anywhere near a Mormon church and have never been a church member of any religion, yet Megan's life sounds similar to mine in many ways.
What a beautiful sentiment for Megan, and so well-written. I hope she reads it and believe that because it's true.
@@angesoup I agree
Wow!! Lori learned this behavior from her parents.
I like her that is all i can say she has a good soul !
Glad Megan has a chance to speak and share her story. Thanks for giving us an insite to your life and loris
@@alshore6227 she really is. ❤
Can we find out if Lories father had life insurance on Melonies mother? Since he was in insurance, and it looks like he may have assigned Alex to give Melonies mother a big insulin shot, he may have had insurance on her. It is so terrible to consider the damage parents can do to the lives of all their children’s lives. Especially when they are secretly evil and self righteous.
That is an excellent question/observation. I would love to know. Until this interview, I never realized that Megan later suspects that Alex may have given Stacy an overdose of insulin...I suspect she is right!
Didn't she try kill her husband?....
In the documentary "sins of our mother", Lori's mother did talk about her previous comments on TV, when she said lori would never hurt the kids. It's heartbreaking. Her mother remembering what she had said and recognizing "everyone was right, I was wrong". Gut wrenching. Thanks for this interview!
I actually love janice except for her abuse of Charles.
I grew up lds. I was SO naive. When I was 16 I was being groomed by a 40 year old. My mom found out and made me read the miracle of forgiveness and report back to her before I was allowed to do anything other than go to school and home. It was HORRIBLE. im so glad im out of that mess
This is the first time i have heard anyone in the family suggest that Stacy was killed, though i think a lot of us suspected it.This is huge.Poor Stacy😢What a family.I hope this lady can find peace.
I just can’t believe how a family could go on vacation while their daughter was on hospice and dying. Left to die alone and only alex of all people to look after her.. I don’t understand how Barry was getting morphine to give to Stacey since the side effects are loss of appetite, weight loss and drop of blood sugars. She was 76 pounds and had type 1 diabetes! Kinda like Lori giving her children pills to knock them out to not have to deal with them.. was Barry trying to not have to deal with her being sick and giving her Morphine?!
I think you are right.. I have always counted Stacy as potentially being the first of 7 to meet an untimely end. This is such an important interview tonight.
Another question.. how much life insurance did Barry have on Stacey. He sold life insurance and would have had a policy on her. Lori would have seen Barry profit from death at a young age if this is in fact true.
Crazy thing, on Sins of our mother, Lori's mom never once listed Stacy or her 3 months old as her children! I now wonder Bout the cause of death of the baby?!?!
@Jennifer I never knew the allegations of SA to Stacy from Barry. I always suspected he SA Lori now I think he SA all his daughters. This was just my impression
I grew up lds. I'm one of 9 kids and appearance was everything. You didn't do anything to make the family look bad. That was the worst sin you could commit.
Happens in many families no matter what the religious faith or beliefs.
That’s true. I did not grow up seeking perfection, even in the LDS faith. I actually love that the LDS faith teaches that sun will happen and it’s necessary. Perfectionism is a culture thing, not a religious thing .
This explains quite a lot about the Cox family dynamic to me.
To who? Your lord and savior? This is so sad. Move away and learn religious is a a tool used to control people. It’s not real.
People commenting that it has nothing to do with religion are missing it. Of course it csn happen without it, but it's an EXTREMELY pivotal part of Mormonism. David O. McKay came in and literally made it a core part of the religion. It's the reason why Mormon men can't have hair below the ears or facial hair to this day. It's the reason women smile and smile and smile and smile and smile. It's the reason most Mormons push their children so hard academically... You can't deny thst this image obsession is more concentrated amongst Mormons than the general population UNLESS you don't understand personally that life experience.
Oh my goodness,, I couldn't stop listening. Such a sad and compelling story. Thanks to Megan for being brave enough to tell it, and risk the wrath of those family members still loyal to Lori. All the best to the three of you.
I can't get my head around the story of Stacey dying......first of all why was the dad giving her morphine.....second of all Alex going out of his way to say she said she was going to take a big shot of insulin.....third of all Barry and Janice staying on vacation in Hawaii while their daughter lay dying and then 4th of all Alex using Stacey credit card while she lay s dying I mean along with everything else the mind boggles
This whole story is way deeper than I expected. It’s absolutely insane how deep what Lori did goes
I can't believe these people are so gullible it's a joke your not supposed to judge people and yet that's all they do
@@cynthiawilson5066and you’re judging them.
Scary how Heather Daybell and Megan have similar experiences with the church. She did a three-part interview with Hidden True Crime, would be great if she could speak on your channel too. Not saying LDS is the only religion that could do better.
They definitely could do better by women. IMO. I’m a Christian and from the South so not familiar with LDS beliefs. Resembles Church of Christ in regards to women in many ways.
Who is Heather Daybell?
@@cynthiawilson5066 Chad’s sister in law. Married to his brother Mark.
@@cynthiawilson5066 Chad's sister-in-law. They live down the road from Chad. See Hidden True Crime for her 3 part interview.
This is such a powerful episode. Thank you Megan for sharing your story.
Adam was so willing to try to intervene with Lori to help Charles. It absolutely breaks my heart that it was all too late! RIP Charles.
He actually failed him the morning of his ambush and murder. Adam didn't answer Charles's phone calls. He stayed out of it at the very end. The entire Cox family is shady. Excluding Summer. She redeemed herself with the jail phone call to Lori. In the interview with Janice I had thought she was in denial about Lori. Almost protecting her. I've had a change of heart But the rest of them. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Tylee did have keys to Joe's apartment. Lori had picture albums that Annie Cushing (Tylee's aunt, Joe's sister) said smelled like decompostion--picture albums that belonged to Joe. Lori told Annie the police let her go into Joe's apartment to get them. Not out of the realm of possibily that Alex could have done something to Joe.
Oh wow where did you read this
@@dukethecolors I heard this from Annie Cushing's KZhead.
I married my husband he was raised mormon but he was a jack mormon I am a Christian needless to say his family wasnt very happy and didnt treat me very nice until we gave them grandchildren. We were married in a christian church which they didnt like. We were together for 30 yrs until he died of cancer.
Doesn’t really believe or doesn’t follow some of the tenets or is more casual about it-lots of them are a lot of fun-some are hypocrites-but lots are open about their Jack Mormon-ness
I am happy to see that you distinguished between the Mormon Church and Christianity. Mormons are not Christians although they present themselves that way. They do not believe in the Trinity. They do not baptize “in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit”. They do not believe in the Virgin Birth. They are Polytheistic.
Can we get Mindy reading some audiobooks her voice is so sweet and easy to listen to
Appreciate you Megan! I'm from the UK and have never been a Mormon but have found this video compelling, straightforward and above all honest while not being in any way a sensationalist! I find these high control groups fascinating from a distance but I'm thankful I can't comprehend being involved in one.
This really was a stellar episode, and Megan is incredibly brave, and strong. I truly wish nothing but the very best for her on her journey. Side note: I’ve also used EMDR to reprocess traumas in my life, and it does seem pretty miraculous, like she said. It’s so good to hear that it helped her too.
Agree❤❤❤
She is so impressive. Very articulate. And when she reached the point where she mentioned the murder of George Floyd, she explicitly stated that she felt the need to confront her own racism. When people are self critical, it shows that they are willing to be very honest and serious about improving themselves from all angels, including from inside themselves which is often the most difficult.
Joe’s sister has spoken in detail about Joe Ryan’s death. I remember a few important points. 1) The court documents show the case worker whom interviewed the kids regarding the abuse report stated that they believed Tyler was coached by the mom, and I think she was even arrested for a short period of time for not abiding by the agreement and keeping Tyler away. So she was losing in court. And all sorts of his personal things were missing (photo albums and other stuff). She was in Hawaii when he passed away, which seems to be a pattern. Annie Kushing has a KZhead channel and she is a very intelligent, fair minded person. Her recount is eye opening. The details she explained are very interesting and downright suspicious. And she was definitely with Charles during this. I don’t know if they were married. These people are capable of heinous acts…
I came to the church at a later age my husband wasn’t in the church and when he passed away NO ONE CAME to my home or reached out to myself or daughters. When I asked about patriarch blessing I was told I was unworthy of it. And then I was looked down on because I was a single woman raising kids. Then We moved to a heavily populated LDS region and my daughter was called a B!t$h by girls who had temple recommends and these same girls would want to go to the church parking lots to hook up with any boy that was parked there to make out. But my daughter didn’t do any of those things but they called accused her of sleeping around but she never went to the parking lots to make out. So these “Mormon” temple girls accused my daughter who isn’t LDS of all the things they were doing. So I don’t believe in the outward appearances of the Mormons. I have been judge and looked down upon by the church all the time. Why would I go to a church to be judged and not taught ANYTHING about the Bible and God’s word. Because of their behavior my daughters won’t even talk or read the Holy Bible. So they turn people away from God’s word.
It’s a very common thing in small town communities. I was raised by a single mother that was WAY more present that most families with two parents. All I can say is “look at me now, vs. look at them!”
I live in the south end of the Salt Lake Valley. I, too, raised my boys as a single parent .. their father hit me twice - in the face - I had to draw a line. Yep, I was judged by LDS people .. oh how many LDS men I had come to me home .. I am sure thinking I would have sex with them .. NOPE, I have my moral compass .. don’t need a religion to lean on. I am sorry your girls have been pushed away from the God of Goodness because of the actions of some pathetic insecure girls who will grow into pathetic insecure women.
Omg, your story is one I could have written. Texas Mormons, who had moved from Utah, that I grew up with.
Be grateful for being ostracized from the cult religion.
I pray your daughters don’t stay away from our God because of man. It’s two different topics. I left churches because it was of “man” not God.
This was an amazing episode. The guests are incredible. Megan has had to be so brave. The LDS so-called leaders should hang their heads in shame. During this long littany of tragedies, they even advised members to not read about or watch anything about the Daybell/Vallow case. The night before Charles Vallow was murdered by Alex Cox, encouraged by Chad and Lori, Charles went to Lori's home, accompanied by his Bishop. Police broke in and found the home deserted. After the murder, the next day, the Bishop never came forward to give evidence. Chad Daybell followed Joseph Smith's playbook. When Melanie Gibb invited Lori to a cult meeting, chad was the speaker. He introduced himself to Lori and told her he had been married to her in a previous life. This case is being viewed daily and read about online and even in newspapers, all over the world. The word Mormon is mentioned constantly. The mormon church in my city has closed. That religion is dying all over Europe. It is fast disappearing the world over. Mormon has become associated with murders. So many murders, by Utah men, of their wives is terrifying. It is only a matter of time before there will be a massive crisis for the leaders. Their lies and despotic behaviour is becomming very well known. Edit: There is another dangerous cult growing in Utah. The leaders are Jodie Hildebrand and Ruby Franke, and the cult is called ConneXions Utah. They have created a system to teach children to "act their truth". It's brutal, but so many are being drawn into it. It is breaking up families. Hildebrand lost her Therapist licence for a few years, for telling a patient's Bishop about the patient's porn addictions, for which he had sought treatment. They have a Facebook a/c named Connexions.
You should check your facts about the LDS church. It is not dying and not synonymous with murder. Please be kind
The Danites just turned into the Mormon mafia. Check out “Mormon Monarch” for more on this and blood atonement
@@LIMITLESSFEMALE I would say BE HONEST!
Cochise County AZ has bishops just like the one in Charles's death, they covered up child sexual abuse by one of their members, never reported to LE, just let the children continue to be abused. Look it up, it happened in Bisbee AZ. Just disgusting!
The facts of LDS are made up with spiritual eyes. There are no real facts
"I would love it if someone in the church would come forward and tell the truth." That's it right there. That's what all of us would love. Sadly, I don't think it will happen in my lifetime. But still a perfect statement, Megan. Thank you.
Incredible “talk among friends” not at all the “interview” type podcasts I’m used to seeing. Absolutely loved listening to this. It’s rare to get so much insight into a family story . So many angles and relationships for so many years.
I started this video for a family member’s insider perspective on Lori Vallow, but truly the most captivating part was Megan’s own story, and her thoughtful introspection on the LDS faith and how the teachings and culture can be toxic and even breed people with such radical beliefs. Absolutely captivated from start to finish, thank you Megan. You and your family have been through so much, thank you for sharing
When people refer to alex’s brain injury as an explanation for his ability to be a cold blooded murderer.. how can you explain why Lori was arranging the murders?! Just because she didn’t pull the trigger or suffocate the victim.. doesn’t mean she isn’t complicit in the killing. Alex wouldn’t have killed all those people if Lori didn’t tell him to.
Agreed!
There is no proof or medical records, that's the family making excuses for Alex.
Well, most people (without brain injuries) would not kill anyone, even if Lori told them to…
I think it’s an explanation on why he listened blindly to her. And it gave her the tool to fulfill her murderous plans. If he wasn’t there or if he was different, she might not have had the opportunity to do what she did.
Ohhh Lori is very complicit and she knew how to manipulate Alex to do her dirty deeds.
This was powerful Megan. Time well spent listening to your story. Blessings on you and your children. Thanks to Mormon podcast. A Necessity in our day and time.
I’m so so so proud of Megan!!! I am an EMDR therapist and I agree wholeheartedly that it is a miraculous protocol and does what talk therapy cannot get to!! Yayyyy you, Megan!!!👏👏👏💖💖💖
The parallels between these murders and the Lafferties are striking. A series should be done on this just like Under the Banner of Heaven.
❤ I would be so very proud to be Megan's mother. I would give her a million hugs, wrap her in a soft blanket, and binge-watch Netflix together. Keeping her child was an amazing choice and Megan is a hero in my eyes. 🏡If Megan ever came to Portland, Oregon, I'd welcome her into my home in a heartbeat 💗.
@kellycasper Hanson - I always appreciate comments like yours when written with such Grace
I've never met megan but would welcome her in my home as well. You can feel the honesty and integrity and just how emotionally intelligent she is.
@Karen Meijer Young Hi Karen, Thank you for your kind response🌞.
@@codirennke1109'm honestly so shocked, I came here thinking she would be evasive weak and making excuses, instead I think she's stronger than I am, brilliant and loving. Wow ❤
@Foxsuper1 it's good you were open to hearing her out. I'm wondering why you had those assumptions to begin with? Genuinely curious because I never heard of her before this and I tend not to judge a person before I've heard them out.
I was a very devout LDS young woman and went to Boise State University. I am sad to say the kids I went to high school with, that went to byu were very rude to me. They would come back during the summers and they would say very condescending things to me. Thinking they were being so funny. It makes me mad that byu alumni think they were the only ones who had a true education. Ugh! I had NO problem going to a non-church University. I found it very well rounded and not lopsided towards religious things. I graduated and got married in the temple and did all the things a good mormon should do. So don’t think for one minute that byu is the only school that will keep you in the church. I stopped attending the church but that was much later in my life. After I knew the doctrines were wrong and Joseph Smith was not what he claimed to be.
I’m sorry that happened. BYU was many things but superior education isn’t one of them.
An overwhelming attitude of superiority and exclusivity among
@@llamamama2910 Thank you, that actually means a lot. ❤️
No way did I think I would watch 4 and 1/2 hours of any podcast. I recharged my phone 3x but couldn’t look away. This was so informative on many serious topics. Megan was absolutely amazing! Please keep being you and spreading truth. I am sure that your children are so proud of you and sealed with you no matter what anyone says. ❤️
I’d already seen the discussion with Megan on the Hidden True Crime channel, so I was curious whether this conversation would be similar, totally different or another thing entirely. I’m pleased to say that y’all held my attention 100% of the time, with twists & turns and ups, downs & allllllllll arounds. Thank you so much for baring your soul so that we might understand. 💜💜💜
Megan ties the many disparate factors together with such skill. There have been several references made by others that Alex would periodically go to Mexico for drugs. I believe Zulema was the most recent to have made this reference. That would tie up the deaths of Joe, Tammy , Chad’s neighbour and finally perhaps Alex himself all of whom had pink foam and or died of alleged blood-clot connected issues.
This is incredible. What a very good interviewer. So caring. What wonderful insights. ThankYou .
I’m an ex-Catholic, ( Canadian woman) 65 years old. This is a very intelligent woman, whose insight amazes me.
Awesome interview, the revelation comparing Chad Daybell to Joseph Smith was powerful.
Wow. What an incredible podcast! Thank you for sharing your story Megan!! I’m in awe of how well put together your thoughts are and how you’re able to speak so eloquently.
Another interview conducted with sensitivity and respect - well done John and Mindy. I was reminded of Elissa Wall in terms of the same level of intelligence, eloquence and perspective from Megan and her willingness to open up in the face of such a tragedy. I was riveted for the whole 4+ hours. Interesting and eye opening in so many areas. Thank you so much Megan and the MSP team.
Wow, what a strong woman! I’m very inspired by her clear headed, well balanced take on life after so much trauma.
I can relate so much to Megan’s experience of growing up mormon outside of Utah, with strict controlling parents and a family that doesn’t “do” emotions or speak about anything even remotely uncomfortable, and where appearances are more important than substance. Right down to the bisexuality. The struggle with finding an authentic identity outside of parent’s expectations … everything.
Very sad because Jesus talks about identity. That's where I found my true identity, in Christ Jesus. I was able to love myself and not hurt myself and others. Hurt people hurt other people. The only time I was able to understand life is when I had a relationship with Jesus.
@@ainokea911 Thanks for sharing.
Everyone I know that have left the LDS cult had a similar experience.
I wish the jury could watch this. Wow just wow. THANK you for sharing.
The Stacy and Alex situation is so dark, too. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Megan.
The Lori Vallow connection aside, the part where Megan describes going to college as a freshman at U Conn and being completely unprepared because of her fundamentalist upbringing, really resonates with me. Being raised that way almost ensures kids are not prepared for the “real world”. Like John said, not prepared to know how to make friends, how to have a healthy relationship with alcohol, how to live in a healthy way overall. It’s incredibly similar to my fundamentalist evangelical experience. Thank you Megan for sharing❤ and I wish someone would do a podcast called Evangelical Stories!
This was so me….not prepared for the real world. EXTREMELY SHELTERED AND NAIVE! It was so difficult navigating!
Any patriarchal system , in my opinion and experience, is WAY out of balance and doomed to be utterly abusive and controlling. I hope this can be a wake up call for some. Megan is so lovely and strong. I wish her all the best. As a truth teller in my dysfunctional family, I know the cost can be high. I'll pay it. My heart breaks for the abuse children suffer in indoctrinated systems where they may never know who they were truly meant to be, but this is over the top, stuff of horror. People are popping off all over the place and then we take that in which is trauma food in and of itself. How to balance out the education vs the consumption. ? This interview is a balanced one and I appreciate everyone who spoke. Thank You.
I wonder why Stacie’s death wasn’t investigated
She’s so credible and so brave.
That she has survived at all is astonishing. When Barry Cox went to Stacy's husband's Steve's work place, he didn't confront and threaten him...he assaulted him, and indeed was arrested and charged with assault. In the Lori/ Joe Ryan divorce, she accused him of sexually abusing the children. It was investigated extensively, and zero sign was found. The statements given by Colby were found to be rehearsed and not credible. But it did look like something bad was happening when Colby was with Lori...or her father Barry. The investigators were also majorly alarmed by what Lori thought it was fine to tell them..including that Tylee was the reincarnation of her dead sister Stacy. So Lori's defense attorneys saying Lori didn't have nutso ideas till she met Chad. No, she had plenty. Plus she spoke about how God talked to her directly all the time. When Lori married Charles Vallow, Charles had 2 sons from his previous marriage. When these children told their mother about what was going on in Lori's home, their mother got a court order for them to no longer be exposed to Lori or any members of her family, including Colby. Sadly, the 2 boys said that Colby was doing sexual things to them and Tylee...which horribly is exactly what a child would do who has been abused. One of the reports for the court stated that in their professional opinion it was vital that Tylee be removed from Lori's care and her home, because Tylee was in imminent danger...... So, again....those people who say "Lori was a good mother till she met Chad" or "Lori didn't have crazy ideas and do awful things till she met Chad". Nope. She was like this for a long long time.
Charles' kids are much older aren't they? How could Colby SA?? He was littler than they were, wasn't he? I don't understand
I have such admiration and respect for Megan Conner. Ms. Conner is honest, humble, intelligent, relatable, sympathetic, & so beautifully articulate. It brings such joy & relief to know there are people like her out there.
It is interesting for me to watch these stories having been born in Utah from an old Mormon pioneer family. Actually I loved the warm family culture but could never buy the religion. I am glad to see so many women stand up and walk into their own power. I tried to follow that Mormon tradition of having the man be the leader. I just found that usually put me just where I did not want to be. Women could very easily take their power back which is theirs not a man's power to take. On my father's side the women I must say always won though. They always had a Mona LIsa smile on their face.
❤
I love that image!. I too saw through that malarkey at 16 and went to a Catholic college, my parents were NOT happy. But I definitely had a Mona Lisa smile. Still do.
Great! 🎉
My only sister died from an overdose and I wish so badly that i had more women to bond with. Alas, all mysogonistic "boys" in a Catholic religion. Truth teller and excommunicated/scapegoated by family. Life is hard enough without all of this unnecessary suffering. Glad you have strong women around you, seems
I am from an old Mormon pioneer family as well. Brigham Young actually performed marriage ceremony for my ancestors
I listened to Megan talking to Lauren, and as she was telling the story of Stacey's passing, it was already in my mind that Alex had possibly orchestrated the whole thing. So Megan, don't feel bad for not having voiced your thoughts clearly at the time - we listeners could read between the lines.
Thank you @Morning Tea
I got it right off. I couldn't believe Mindy and John didn't see that coming. Lots to follow though.
Same! Many of us talked about it when we heard about Stacy and how her memorial stone wasn’t being cared for. Stacy is just not mentioned. Alex was w her, and Stacey’s ex husband wanted to keep their daughter Melanie P away from these crazies.
Much gratitude to Megan for generously doing this long-form interview! It is so helpful to get some family background, and history, in order to help the general public to better understand such a strange, convoluted, disturbing and tragic series of events. This was a long journey leading to the deaths of these 4 people (possibly 5), and Lori apparently honed her ability to manipulate and control many people throughout her life, starting with siblings and, perhaps, her parents as well. Then she crossed paths with another manipulator, Chad Daybell, and this confluence turned diabolically insane and surreal. I imagine several books will be written on this story, because it is so complex and convoluted.
Wow, this lady is sharing a TON of private information about the entire family--including living people. It's fascinating.
Mindy is such a great asset to this discussion- Thank you Mindy!
She knows this case
Thank you Megan for your courage to share your experience ❤ As always, Thank you John for Mormon stories
This was so interesting to listen to. My sister was a Mormon and raised her kids in it but then left the church about 7 years ago. This helps me to understand of her strange ways. She and Her family was not fully accepted by the church.
Yep, cults shun you when you leave. Religions don’t shun when you leave.
Thank you both for hosting this podcast, and thank you especially to Megan for her extreme bravery in talking about her life through the pain she has experienced. This was very enlightening, interesting, and very sad, but the truth always serves to protect and comfort. I wish you peace, comfort, and truth always.
I could listen to her speak for days. Great insight wonderfully presented. Thank you.
What a sweet and incredible lady - very intelligent and articulate.
Great episode, thank you for sharing with us Megan. I’ve been listening to Lori’s trial & I’ve followed this case since it hit the news.
This was an AMAZING episode. Thank you, Megan for sharing your story and being so vulnerable. I also very much appreciated Mindy’s voice and her questions during the interview. She did a fantastic job as well!
My heart hurts for Megan and the way she was treated by the church. I know too well how it feels and I’m not a morman but and ex seventh day Adventist 😢
Listening to this is really enlightening. In my secular family there was some disfunction, but we were always allowed to be who we were. The pressures were to do well in school, get a good job. This looking good, secrets in the family, disconnect between what the church teaches and what happens in the heirarchy,: makes me feel a whole lot better about my ethical, rational, polite family. Whew.
Wow, my mind is blown but now that the Stacy story is out it makes total sense. That was the start of a pattern. So sad, great interview.
She looks at least ten years younger than Lori!
This episode was so gripping! Megan is such a thoughtful, well-spoken, deep person. She had her share of tumbles and is a testament to the fact that we grow and mature throw our tests. I am not LDS but found the talk universally relatable.
I am sitting here in utter shock right now after listening to the story about Stacy.
The fact that they were in Hawaii and wouldn’t come back to say goodbye.. Hawaii is where the family and Lori would go when people died.
@@juniper7643 so very true!!
Megan is so brave! Such an important and timely interview! Thank you!
What a wild story of highly dysfunctional Mormon families. Kudos to Megan Conner for being brave and shining a spotlight on this. Too often, we are made to hide problems rather than confront them. We can see how the LDS church organization, doctrine, and culture all played a role in the evil of Lori and her family. Megan's analysis of the parallels between Joseph Smith and Chad/Lori are striking and on-point.
Megan is absolutely amazing - to be as honest, direct, clear-headed and intelligent in her analysis as she is having gone through the amount of trauma of her own, even aside from this horror, is absolutely laudable because it doesn't happen without real self-work, and that's incredibly hard to face when you haven't grown up in an emotionally health family setting. I'm in awe of her as a person and I hope she's proud of herself and her incredible development.
Brandon Boudreaux was in business with Charles and was successful. Melanie wanted his big life insurance payout. Chad had declared Brandon as dark and a zombie.
Megan looks amazing!!!! It’s shocking how much Lori has aged and Megan is only one year younger?? Your healing and kind soul shows in your beautiful face 💕
Highly recommend people read the Lori Vallow psychosexual evaluation that was done when she was divorcing Joe Ryan. Holy cow it's amazing how on-point they were. Even calling out her hyper-religiousity/histrionic personality disorder. And this was years before she "went crazy". She was even talking about Tylee being the reincarnation of her sister. The evaluator recommended the mother (Lori) needed further evaluation.
It's too bad the court didn't require Lori receive the further evaluation she so desperately needed.
Wow, the Alex/Stacie story. He absolutely used Megan in that situation. Unbelievable, how the family used Alex and maybe took advantage of his brain injury. Barry is scary!
A remarkable interview about Megan and her family. Megan thank you so much for sharing your story.
I echo what John and Mindy said to Megan at the end. What a brave, courageous, and inspiring thing she is doing. Thank you Megan!👼🙏 ❤
This is such an important interview. So much of what Megan shares resonates with me. I am also a divorced woman who identifies as bisexual. I left the LDS church over nine years ago, and I am still unraveling the convoluted mess of a broken and harmful system that dominated my life for way too many years.