Nordic countries are ranked to be the happiest time and time again, but for someone who has moved here connection can be a struggle. I went to one of the loneliest countries in the world to talk to locals and foreigners about why it's so difficult to make friends and create real connections. We talk about loneliness, the Swedish mindset, Swedish communication, and what to do if you want to make friends in Sweden.
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0:00 Are Nordic countries actually "happy?"
0:39 Sweden: the hardest country to make friends
1:33 Is Sweden actually difficult to make friends?
3:41 Are Swedes lonely?
5:11 Reason # 1 Sweden is lonely: individualism
6:00 Reason #2 Making friends stops in high school
6:27 Why Swedish friendships are different?
8:02 Swedes love their space: a forest in the city
8:25 Reason #3 Coconuts vs peaches
8:42 Negative vs Positive Politeness Theory
9:28 Why Swedish communication is different
12:55 What Tall Poppy Syndrome & Law of Jante have in common
13:38 Swedes hate small talk
14:22 How do Swedes feel about small talk?
16:07 Emotional expression is a no-go
16:34 Why Swedes love to drink
16:50 Is it impossible to make friends in Sweden?
17:12 How to make friends in Sweden?
20:00 Swedes like to compartmentalize their friend groups
20:33 My personal experience in Sweden
21:54 My personal tips and tricks for connecting with Swedes
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CREW:
Marina Iakovleva (directing)
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Filmed in:
Stockholm and Gothenburg, Sweden
Sorry for the late upload everyone! This one took a while to edit, but hopefully you enjoyed! Do you want to see more of these types of videos?
Those "happiness" rankings are not really based on happiness, but other data that are not necessary related with happiness.
Yes
Yes, absolutely. Would love to see how this compares to other countries :)
loved video, learned something new :)
yes, this video is very interesting from an anthropology viewpoint!
Living in a nordic country all my life and I haven't been able to make 1 friend in real life. Thank you for talking about this issue
Nobody is perfect. Every country has its own issue ;( I have only few good friends in the US.
There are worse countries than Sweden to be in to be happy. I’ve been in an overrated country for it’s supposed openness but it was all bs. Many shits are so fake that I find Sweden very very authentic and polite. That country’s name starts with F.
Canada is the same
Undortunately, this is becoming an issue not only in Scandinavia, but in the whole Western world.
here we say: better having a good neighbor than a far friend..
As A Japanese, the whole story is fucking relatable.
After watching this we could definitely say that Sweden is just the Japan of Europe
I’m very lucky to be a Gaijin with amazing Japanese friends.
@@destianpatrianagara1119 yeah Scandinavia = Japanese style US = Chinese style
I lived in Goteborg for 9 months in 1999. Being Australian; we are such social people. I felt like I was losing my mind.
My friend studied in uppsala for 2 years ,she forgot alnost how to talk,NO ONE spoke to her ,she was stuttering when she came back home to Serbia,crazy ,Sweden is scary to me,if they weren't rich they would be considered the scariest and least popular countries
@@SRBOMBONICA86- Wow! Thats why I like Greeks 🇬🇷
@@SRBOMBONICA86well atleast she retained her ability to speak in some form. Us swedes are known for taking pride in robbing people of their oral skills. There are children that were lost in the wild and grew up in wolf packs, they lost their concept of language, all they did was sniff and bark and snarl. Maybe you heard of Mowgli in the Jungle Book?
@leob4403 Lol😂😂😂
Pffff emancipation makes family live difficult and free sex brings scares in emotions A sexual contact releases a hormone oxytocine and vasopressine between the 2 person’s that normally bind this 2 person’s together. So sexual relationships whit out can not be healthy . It becomes after very difficult to love another partner.
This is JUST like the state of Minnesota in the US. Minnesota is notorious for being a place where it is difficult to make friends if you didn't grow up here, and the people shy away from confrontation. Guess where the bulk of Swedish and Norwegian immigrants to the US settled in the 19th century: Minnesota...
What about the Minnesota nice??
@@osky2558 "Minnesota Nice" does exist. People here are polite and have good manners. For example, even in the Twin Cities, drivers will let you in when you want to be in their lane. But some allege that "Minnesota Nice" can also be passive-aggressive.
That explains why..
My father, born 1924, grew up in a Swedish/Norwegian community in Northern Ontario. His English Canadian school teacher noticed that the Scandinavian children did not express niceties like 'please' and 'thank you'. The Spanish flu killed many area residents. Some of the girls from his community worked as nurses because so many English and French Canadians from neighboring communities were dying. It was noted that none of the Scandinavians, even the nurses became sick. The Scandinavians thought it was because French and English people "were always touching each others."
Americans in general are not friendly, unless they are just arrived from overseas. Everyone is individualistic, super selfish and busy working, there's no community and no one gives a crap about anyone else. Maybe it's because it was mainly settled by Nordic immigrants.
This channel went from funny skits to genuine sociological analysis. Absolutely love it.
Best compliment. This is the goal 😁
@@DatingBeyondBorders that's a good goal :)
This is growing up for most people. All funny and carefree in our younger years and as we get older we.get more serious.
Indeed! I found this video unexpectedly interesting. It gave me some new perspectives on myself (I'm german) and past interactions with friends (many of them foreigners). Good direction the channel has taken!
16 years in Sweden. Please. Think twice before moving here.
No thanks))
so, why you there for 16 years?
@@user-kq1bi2qh8s I am desperate and have no options in life.
I’ve been living in Sweden (Stockholm) for more than 8 years now, and I’ve made only one Swedish friend at gym and we meet once per year…I was an extrovert and happy person and Sweden turned me to an introvert and unhappy…
People have said that about Seattle after they moved here.
This was really sad to read. Hope you are doing alright. ❤ Is it really that bad? Curious as will be travelling there soon.
meet once per year? lolol
@@TonyDracononce per year is actually a lot by swedish standards. Every 5 years is the standard here even among siblings
@@leob4403 🤣🤣🤣
As a Swedish person i can totally agree that it is extremely difficult making friends here. I am now 27 years old and had only a few good friends in my own country while growing up. Most of my friends have either families of their own or have moved abroad to work (following their dreams) My Best friend passed away 2018 and I've been lonely since. 💭
I am very sorry to hear that your best friend passed away when you have only few good friends around you to start with. Hope you are ok. Ex Sri Lankan living in Sydney Australia. To be honest from my own experience all the Nordic people who I talked to are the most genuine and *intelligent* people I have ever met. US is the last. I wish you well!
The interesting thing is the fact that although Sweden offers a high quality of living, why do Swedish people move abroad to work. Can you give some explanation ?
@@bugra320 For the same reasons mentioned in this video - loneliness/difficulty in building friendships/relationships. I have several friends in Northern Europe who have moved to (and wish to move to) Latin/Asian countries.
MOVE TO AFRICA TO ENJOY LIFE WITH PEOPLE OF YOUR CHOICE OVER THERE YOUR DREAMS WILL COME THROUGH IF YOU ARE WISE ENOUGH TO TAKE A BOLD STEPS SHY IS YOUR LIMIT
@@Ghostrider-ul7xnyup take a trip to latin america or asia, you would probably get food poisoning BUT tons of friends
The Nordic countries 🇸🇪🇩🇰🇧🇻🇫🇮🇮🇸may be the best countries in the world to live in , but the word "best" doesn't means "perfect"
you forgot Faroe Islands 🇫🇴
@@krississsFaroe Islands isn't a country, they are part of Denmark just like Greenland. Both Faroe Islands and Greenland have their foreign relations and defence handled by the Danish government in Copenhagen despite their autonomous status. It is like saying Guam isn't part of the US or Norfolk Islands isn't part of Australia.
@@krississsOne of the biggest sausage fest in the world.
Utter nonsense. Who in their right mind wants to live in a place where it's freezing most of the year?
It's fine that you wrote 'may be', as that are probably the most essential words on your comment.
Big towns are so anonymous and full of people who don’t talk. I’m from Scotland, we speak to anyone and everyone, at bus stops , in shops, in cafes, bars, anywhere. I moved to London and did that, talking at bus stops to the people who are regularly there every day. They all look at you as if you’re crazy! As no one talks to anyone unless they’re introduced in another way by another. So no one spoke to me until I went to college, it took about 2yrs to make a few friends in London. I advise, just talk to everyone! One good person is all you need, then the domino effect will come after
God bless Scotland, one if the best people I ever met. I was there for my studies in 2015. Alba !
Do you? Because I’m in England and all the expats like me told me that Scotland is actually worse than England ☹️ I’m confused I’m engaged to a Brit and is been so hard getting girl friends here 😞
Big cities in my country Brazil arent like that Thank God
I love the scots!!!!
@valentina_melethiel my experience in Scotland was different from London
As a Finn, I dont really think that Nordic people are "coconuts" as friends. Sure, they are quite hard to get close to, but I think it's also extremely easy to lose them. If you miss couple of their messages, they simply forget about you and move on. They wont come knocking on your door and checking if you're still alive. But one thing that's worth mentioning is that if you reply to their messages like 5 years after, your casual friendship is immediately revived without further questions asked 😂 They will remember you.
that sounds like hot garbage to people who want or need more.
I had a Finn classmate in my college days here in Brazil, he was more friendly and talkative than more brazillians at the campus. I also had brief contacts with nordic tourists while World Cup 2014, they are people like any other, in my impression at least.
I live in Thailand and see many Nords vacationing here - if they smile, their face would crack - and yet Thais in total contrast are always laughing and smiling. There is no doubt in my mind who is happier, but Thailand never makes those lists... happiness is not based on wealth and schools and hospitals.... it is inside your heart.
Yes the areas where there are many Swedish are miserable like Kata. Swedish travel in their groups, they don't look at you, they don't smile. I stayed at Swedish owned guesthouse where there were only Swedish staying there. Same story nobody looked, talked or smiled at me, even when I ate at their Swedish restaurant. On the last day I met a Brazilian girl and she experienced the exact same. Very unfriendly in contrast to Thais.
That's interesting. I've visited an old school friend who lives in Thailand and I visited a couple of Nordic restaurant/bars but I gave up. The customers were a pretty insular and miserable bunch. It's a total contrast to British and Aussie/Kiwi bars where everyone talks and laughs. One this subject my friend had a US veterans bar around the corner from his house. As an ex British Army guy I thought I'd go in for a few beers. The staff were great, very friendly, but the Americans seemed petrified of me as if I was going to beat them up or something. Very strange. An Anzac bar was totally different...within minutes I knew everyone's name, we were sharing stories, playing music and buying in food to share.
not everyone expresses their happiness the same way. no matter which emotion, nordics just don't tend to show it. they might be completely ecstatic on the inside and those know really know them, can read them. others - not so much
@@hhelina I never considered that - so, some people laugh others smile contentedly and still others pretend to be the most miserable creatures walking the earth... I don't really see the fun in that, but what do I know?
@@2kkto2 you're looking at stuff through your cultural lens/bias. What's considered negative in yours might be completely neutral in some other, resting bitch face is a thing. I've been accused of being serious while I was honestly just really vibing and enjoying myself, incl relaxed face muscles
When life gets too easy and you dont struggle for basics, connections get shallower. This is a fact. People bond over shared struggles and the search for meaning through experiences where they get to experience each other in their most raw form of human or even the animal essense of the human. When we make life too easy, we make life shallow. When we make like too secure we become even more risk averse and avoid getting out of our confort zone even more. And outside that zone is where all the new connections and growth opportunities lie. I lived in Germany for 7 yrs and I never felt lonelier. Germans were so pathologically cold, closed off and afraid of anything new and different. They can have a functioning system, but a running train doesnt mean its taking the passangers to a good destination.
Good analysis.
... but Swedes, Norwegians, Finns, Danish... all the same. Northern Germans always fear to" interfear "😊into someones business. It takes time to get into contact. Hobbies could be helpful. We have loads of clubs, Vereine for everything. If I were a single, I would join a hiking group. If you do that...... do walking aside... not talking much! ... after a while there will be a conversation. 😊 The only proper hiking gear, the best and only shoes... we take everything seriously... 😊 Waiting, be patient... . Important! If you are invited to someones home... it is meant this way! To think it is a fake invitation, due to politeness ... is a mistake you can't repair.
@@AltIng9154 no dude. I lived in germany for almost a decade. Was part of a verein too. And i did break that barrier with some even. So they even loved talking to me because i am intellectually pretty competent. But, what did i get out of it? I was soooooo bored underwhelmed and ready to ditch. They were still soo cold. No human warmth. No hug no touch that didnt feel anxious and afraid. I was just soooo bored with their seriousness the linear left brain thinking. It always felt like talking to robots, lacking affect and sensual input. They were just not capable. At the end of the day, every meeting felt like a business meeting, or exchanging information and not connecting on a deeper emotional level. Sure, us Meditarranean folk can be pretty loud and annoying, but we bring to the table things Northern Europeans severely lack.
@@tricatame7427 I am sorry for you... but this hugging of foreigners is very weird for us. 2 Portugal girls started conversation with me in a train and kissed me good bye ... at the platform... was weird for me. But we start hugging our friends and family members now. We even learned the hugging and kissing... there is progress. 😉
👌🏻
The joke about Sweden during COVID is that people had to stand closer together with the 2 meter social distancing rule.
I lived in Sweden for six months and I had many Swedish friends. The secret is to find some club, either dancing, reading, cinema, etc. Also, it helps if the Swede has either lived abroad or has foreign parents. This is my five cents.
This exactly!
@@Momoa786 Great point.
When you go to america,africa and asia making friends is as easy as breathing...just by being yourself...no secrets involved...good to have a great wellfare system and high safety but this demonstrate there ain't no such perfect or totaly happy place so i definitely do not agree with stats claiming scandinavia to be the happiest counties...just a matter of choice on what one needs
@@davidolomu285 They are just content with life, but not happy.
I’m Swedish and I totally agree. I don’t think it’s harder making friends in Sweden than in other countries. The trick is to join a sport or find an activity that you like which you share with others. I think many people come to Sweden thinking that they don’t need to speak Swedish because Swedes speak fluent English. While that might be true you are never going to form deeper friendships with people in Sweden if you don’t speak Swedish. Because if you don’t speak Swedish you can’t take part of Swedish culture. Indulging yourself into Swedish culture and habits is necessary if you want to form deeper friendships. I also feel like people have way too high expectations when in comes to making friends. People expect others people to do all the work for them. As soon as they move to a new country they expect the locals to have the desire to become close friends with them. Sometimes that is the case, but mostly likely the locals already have friends and might not be super willing to make new friends. In order to make friends when moving to a new country you have to be willing to get outside you comfort zone and indulge yourself into the culture and habits of the country you’re moving to. That is how you make deep friendships. Deeper friendships are not something that’s going to form over a night. Getting real close and personal with people takes time. So you have to be persistent and patient. Forming deep friendship takes months and sometimes even years, but it will be worth it in the long run.
Watching this video makes me understand why I love Latin cultures.
Je suis de l'Est de la France. Ma culture n'est pas très "latine" mais j'ai eu l'occasion de côtoyer des gens du sud de la France. Ils vous disent facilement : "je t'aime, je t'adore, on sera toujours amis" ou "tu me manqueras beaucoup" et après : plus AUCUNE nouvelle, un silence de mort. Je ne sais pas comment sont les latins des autres pays mais en France, les gens du sud sont connus pour leur amitié aussi fausse que démonstrative.
@@YvBernard Bonjour, j'habite dans la région de la Loire. Je n'ai pas encore vécu cela, mais je comprends ce que vous dites. J'ai vécu aux États-Unis et les gens sont comme une double épée et trouver de vrais amis, c'est comme gagner à la loterie. Les gens sont vraiment sympathiques mais ils semblent faux. J'ai perdu mon mari il y a presque deux ans et cela a été un défi car je vis dans un village très isolé. Se faire des amis ici a été un véritable défi et je ne parle pas correctement français. Je remarque des choses bizarres comme le gaslighting de la part de certaines personnes, mais pour être honnête, ce sont des alcooliques et ils ne peuvent pas s'en empêcher car ils ont été moralement compromis il y a longtemps. La ville me manque. Quand je pense au latin, je pense à l’italien, au mexicain, au cubain, etc.
And Slavic cultures. I felt that it was very easy to make friends in Serbia even though we barely knew each other.. perhaps it's much different somewhere like Russia, but I feel like Slavic cultures are way friendlier than they're given credit for.
@@yespls4184 "I feel like Slavic cultures are way friendlier than they're given credit for." Agree!
Yeah.. like Venezuela and Colombia 😂
Omg as a Finn i am so surprised that Swedes were the ones who had it worst! Like in Finland we have jokes about how Swedes are so freespirited and talkative since we think that we are noting like that ourselves. I am happily surprised, wefinally havesomething vetter than Sweden
No Finland is even worse than this
@@leob4403No it is not.
@@butterflies655 in what way?
As an Italian in his thirties in Sweden I agree that it can be difficult to make friends here. Especially with Sweds. But I am also aware I am the most extrovert person ever. For sure the language is a reason, because even if there is no problem using English, the "small talk" is carried out mostly on Swedish. Another reason, as stated in the video, it is very difficult to be included in the group, so for example if the person is a colleague, you remain in the colleague category for the afterwork Fika or events, but nothing more. Another thing I have seen so far, that made me a bit sad, is that by doing so, most of the foreigners just stick to hanging out with those from the same country and avoiding learning from the other cultures. I came here because I wanted to see how things work in another country, if I wanted to be surrounded by Italians, I would have just stayed at home. But what I understood so far, is that Sweds like good food, so organising dinners, especially when cooking Italian/Mediterranean dishes, brings everyone together.
it is very weird and it also explains the very different odd sort of people Swedes are. But individually it can differ. But I think also most of immigrants are very affected by the introverted society it must be something in the atmosphere. Its of course a growing ground for corruption not accepting new people in wich also is unfolding.
Ok, as a half-Swede, half-Italian, I mean yes, definitely much easier to make friends in Italy. Actually even if you speak Swedish in Sweden, and Italian in Italy. There are ways to get friends in Sweden though, and that is to be part of any kind of association or sub-culture about anything you are passionate about. Swedes are huge on association life of all kinds, if things are like formally organised you are kind of part of the same "club" and barriers are suddenly gone. It can be a sports club, political activism, study circle, charities, rave parties, board games, motorcycling, anything around music, hiking, parcour, sailing, salsa-dancing, kite surfing , burning man, etc, and yes something around food too. Universities in Sweden work like this sort of formal club that breaks barriers too. In Sweden typically you move home to live by the university, and social activities are super well organised so you get really close to your study mates who often become friends for life. In Italy university students keep much stronger ties with their family. Have a friend from Verona who studied in Trento and naturally went home every weekend. When I studied in Sweden, I went home like twice a year, and university was more of an all-encompassing experience.
@@martinsjogren4366 ok så man kanske ska gå med i en förening eller nåt sånt. Kyrkorna är också ett tips.
You say you are probably " the most extrovert person ever " ? Basically that means " the most annoying person ever ". Probably explains why you have no friends...?
I am originally Turkish living in the U.S. for a long time. I have a buddy from Napoli. This guy is also a social monkey with an endless contact list on his phone. And he tells me, he doesn’t have one American friend. I don’t believe Sweden can beat US in terms of fake conversations and superficiality
I’m Danish and I don’t have any close friends. Never had. I have a couple whom I see maybe 2-3 times a year. I have friends abroad whom I am in contact with through Whatsapp. It’s sooo hard to make friends here..ones who don’t end up ghosting you or suddenly lose interest in you. It’s been like this all my life.
Let's talk. I need to practice my English and I'm interested in Danish culture. 🤞🏻
Ok, I can be ur friend
I strongly suggest you try another country! Denmark is the coldest country I've ever known...I'm Danish as you but, have absolutely no intention coming back. This due to the coldness and not least direct hate, coming from toxic Danes, who imagine (don"t know) how other people are and, when they've imagined and lied about other people long enough, the lies become their "knowledge".....I remember being told over there that, climate doesn't have any influence on the human mind...hm, really Danes!? If I was you, I would move closer to the Ecuator where people are more open minded, curious and friendly.... Alt godt og, held og lykke paa din rejse gennem livet!!
Vow… I had no idea it was this bad in Denmark. Have you tried making friends with some of the immigrants there? I think you will have better luck with non-Danes.
@@shidehhafezi6826 Actually I did make friends with some expats but also lost contact with them. It was pretty obvious that they didn’t want to hang out with me anymore so I stopped contacting them.
Really interesting- I'm American, specifially from Texas, and if you are extroverted and not socially awkward, it takes only a few weeks to form a good bond with someone. I love that aspect of living here, though I'll admit after visiting every Nordic country (including the Faroe Islands!) except for Sweden, you can't beat the beauty of the cities and quality of life in the Nordic countries. Edit: I also noticed how people said that in Sweden you are often friends with your childhood friends still when you are an adult. I remember when I visited Denmark two years back, I read online that that was the case there. Really interesting, here in America you usually move on to a new set of friends once you enter a new stage in life and the previous group often (not always of course) becomes friends of the past who you only see on rare occasions to catch up. Im in university and don't talk to my high school friends that often, let alone my childhood friends. But when we do meet up (just my high school friends), things feel the way the used to be.
The reason for that is majority of Denmark is a quiet place, there's 3 major cities but most people grow up in quiet rural areas so they're more likely to stick with friends they know from school because of this. Rarely do people move to a major city or spend much time in a city to make friends. Of course, Danes do make friends at work, but pretty rare.
I noticed that when I visited Texas too. Everyone is so open to chat and get to know you. I'd take that any day, to be honest. Northern Europe often feels to civilized for its own good, I do like the idea of being self reliant, but it's honestly harmful in the long run. We as humans need community and social bonds, and I'd take a place that encourages that every single time.
Everyone says that life in Norway is so good.But one thing that is seldom mentioned is that Norway is on the top of Europe when it comes to mental illnesses in the population.
@@dunnowy123they are NOT self reliant ,they depend on the state entirely
yup socialism at its finest @@SRBOMBONICA86
Funny, in Brazil we are just the opposite, depression gets slapped in the butt every day and night. But corruption is rampant. If we had the education system, health care, transport and other basic needs Sweden has, Brazil would be the heaven on earth. Well, it's hard to understand this life.
It's mostly down to geography and climate that shapes a culture and people
@@nicholasnovak4definitely
I am Brazilian, too, and you idealize some countries as many of our compatriots.
@@nicholasnovak4it's not only that ,its in the genetics
@@alexandrakis2731 , we can't generalize, but in general people in tropical countries tend to be more open and friendly because we spend most of the year outside and not so inside ourselves, more closed because of the often bad climate as in colder countries. There are channels of Nordic people living here in Brazil that would be "almost unrecognizable" by their compatriots for their behavior. Example: Channel "Swedish Gringo". It's not only for the climate, it's because they also meet local people who are the opposite and so they feel more comfortable to act as maybe they would like, but would be seen as an "ET" in their countries.
As a German it is always so interesting to see in how many tiny details our cultures are similar.
German is the most communicative in EU I think.
@@botlfpx They are the among the warmest, for sure.
@@Momoa786 "False"? That sounds like you're having a hard time accepting the opinion of others. You could easily come up with a counter argument without denying someone else's opinion. That's just bad form.
@@Momoa786 I can't help you if you can't recognize the impoliteness in telling someone off just because you disagree. In fact this kind of "Falsch" would be stereotypically German.
@@coffeenorth Sweden is snowed in 6 months of the year so its hard to get across town to see friends. Im not Swedish but I dont like a lot of friends. More friends more problems. They ring to help them move house and expect me to lift furniture all day. I dont need it.
Seattle was largely settled by Scandinavians (Norwegians and Swedes) and the result is the so-called "Seattle Freeze". I'm genetically Swedish and have lived in Seattle most my life. I have pretty much no friends since the few I had have died. I like to be alone so that's okay. Nothing personal, it's just Seattle. Sweden sounds very comfortable to me.
@user-lr9mo9my6jseattle area crime is hell.
If that is your choice.
Yes, Swedes are introverts and very reserved on top of that so if you're an intro you get along just fine...
02:37 Such a nice guy , if he wanted to have friends I am available ,I am from Egypt 😉🇪🇬 Speaking of Egypt here we are NEVER lonely ,if people find out you are living alone - even by your own free will - they will just drag you to social circles they will make sure you are in contact with others , and doesn't need any basic neccessities ..etc.
I'm a Spaniard and we have too much social life lol
Same in my country Iran but unfortunately deeper friendship in extroverted cultures are harder to find.
Yes that is good but too much social contact can be exhausting with too much friends and u can't always trust your friends becuase they can betray u and i think that people here are carefull about that and we like too keep our integrity and private life.
Yeah just by the word "drag you" it shows how north africans are very intrusive and like to make lonely people feel uncomfortable
@@denniswrande6004 Exactly I don't know what is all this fuss about nordics not being friendly. Many loud societies cry too much about it. They have the urge to befriend people. I feel like most of them (not all) are very impatient and want friendship to be established quickly unlike nordic people who take their time and are more picky when it comes to friends. And to be fair, Nordics are right to keep their circle small. Having too many friends is nothing to brag about . In southern countries when things goes down, you will hardly find someone that will help you (unless it is your parents or to a less extent your relatives). That is why quality over quantity.
I used to live in Nordic countries before I came to live in Japan now and I find Nordic people are much friendly than Japanese people. I make few friends there although it's not that much but better than I am in Japan where I can't make any Japanese friends at all. Living in Japan is super lonely and that's why mental health issues is very common here.
Can you speak Japanese though?
When i meet japanese people while traveling, they are always super fun and friendly. It made me think Japan would be the same 😂😂😂 maybe not.
@@LisaSoulLevelHealing those you meet overseas are generally more able to converse in English. Those in Japan, not so much. Hence my question to the OP. Language plays a critical role in getting people together
@@Jkl62200yes I speak Japanese fluently and still hard to make friends with them.
depends upon social structure
Sweden can really traumatize you. 1 friend in 50 years. That's about it. And how often do you get an interesting interlocutor? When I came to Sweden people asked me usually: how old are you? What is your job? How long have you been in Sweden and when are you going back home? It was more fun to meet other immigrants. Hungarians, Italians etc. I have been even to some parties where the host announces: Sweds sit to the left and foreigeners to the right. We were all laughing. We knew it was still friendly, but both groups prefered this arrangement.
I've lived in Sweden for over 4 years and have not managed to make one friend. And I consider myself a friendly person. In my experience adult Sweds are not really open to spend time with foreigners outside working hours. They rush home to be with their families, which is, of course, understandable.
What family ? Most Swedes are grown up with single parent , and the kid is transfererd between Mother- father every 2 weeks , A Nation will seize to exist If you destroy the family value , a nation starts with family.
They dont want to invest time in someone that will go home.
No wonder the heaviest death metal music comes from this place.
I went there once for a seminar. It was a v cold country at different levels. Never want to go there again even if I was paid for it . As an Indian, I love the warmth and friendliness in India. We make friends v easily.
Europeans don’t want’t any Indians in their countries either. Best for everyone to stay in their country of origin then to move to Western countries and feel like an alien. The Swedes would not be happy in India either. Different races and cultures should not mix. If you look at London and Paris it’s a disaster. Beautiful European cities have been turned into third world dumps
Hey our country people are also suffering from depression.
Bruh this comment will get so much hate
@@Happysoul_3doesn't compare to sweden
@@SRBOMBONICA86theres a lot of hardship in India though and a lot of suicides aswell, theres a economical poverty that cant be compared to anywhere in Europe
As a immigrant in Canada unfortunately I can share the same experience. I spent the last 14 years here trying to make friends and I had no more than two friends and sometimes it feels that I am the only one with a genuine interest in how they are doing. Locals don’t like doing friendships with immigrants and immigrants are creating friendships only in their own national communities. Toronto is awful place for creating and keeping friendships. Sometimes I feel that this aspect of my life is totally damaged because of my immigration.
Toronto is a place for newcomers. If you join groups for newcomers you should be fine. There is no one culture there - you can find ppl from everywhere - those who have arrived recently and those who have been there for many years. Honestly- Canada is not known for this.
All big cities are like that ! People these days are more cautious.
It’s the same for people growing up there, it’s awful. Especially if you leave and come back, Canada is notoriously brutal , but Vancouver takes the cake on this.
I feel the same about living for 10 years now in Berlin
I immigrated to the US more than 40 years ago. It is harder to make friends in bigger cities but it is not impossible. I used to live in the Washington DC area. Now I live in a smaller city. The good thing about living in a bigger city is that there are a variety of people with different backgrounds, so you have many choices and opportunities. There are also more social events (seminars, gatherings, summits, classes, workshops, etc) to chose from. My friends are not all from my culture or even my age group and I think in my case that has been very helpful to get me out of my own shell. I wish you the best!
No wonder why I don't have Swedish friend. All of my European friends come from west and south Europe where the people are more open
I lived in Stockholm- Sweden for 5 years, being married to a national there helped tremendously getting accepted into their circles. Doing that is much, much harder or impossible though for the lonely immigrants like refugees or those seeking asylum, many discovered the "loneliness of two" (immigrant couples), back then there was no social media or cell phones, it was easy to see immigrants talking to themselves at the bus stops! But the way you socialize in countries like Sweden is by enrolling in adult night courses to learn different type of skills. But first and foremost you need to learn Swedish, you can get by with English but if you seek to integrate learning Svenska is priority.
" getting accepted" that's so hilarious
I got up early one Sunday morning in Gjøvik, Norway, and walked along an empty high street, towards the station. As I looked along the long street I saw a single person pushing a pram, coming towards me. We were going to pass in 45 seconds. She saw me and I saw her. At the moment of passing she turned her face away to look into an empty shop window in order not to see me, or recognise my existance. I was departing because I had just been to a cultural festival, where no one had spoken to me, (or wished to sit next to me at the mealtimes.) I lost it, at that moment, saying. "GOOD MORNING!!! (and god morgen!!!). Why is it so hard for simple human politenesses in this country!" Forgive me Jesus for my temper at that time!
Awww...hugs from the USA.
klemmer tilbake @@ohmai3706
Sorry, but this made me laugh. It's so relatable. 🤣
You can see I'm a musician, sometime small concert promoter. So I get exchanging Facebook comments with a professional Norwegian pianist now and then. After a year or so of the odd discussion about this and that I get a message from her saying "I cannot continue to converse" as "we havn't been introduced." @@TheMarihifenanna 🙂
France is the same
Thank you for this valuable information about Sweden. I will never go there but to warm-hearted Italy again.
As a Finnish person who is at the moment in Japan.. This ain't an easy place to get to know local people either!! 😱😱
Haha
Hyvaa Pajvaa! Sometimes when i hear finish (suomen) language it is very remind me Japanese one! Only its sounds, of course!:))
Go to Korea if you want to make friends easily.
@@chaelyunglee No I don't think so. Living in Korea is so harsh
I felt the same way living in Canada, it was a very lonely experience to remember coming from a country like India where the public is always buzzing lol and it is so easy to make friends if you want to. I think what you've discussed at large is how a lot of Western societies work because of the governments has created self-reliant systems in the developed nations, I know it sounds stereotypical but it's just an observation as an outsider who has been keen on understanding western culture, people overthink on how to behave and how to be and less on living but it is what it is, but there are exceptions like Italians and Spanish cultures, much much love to you for making this video, makes a whole lot of us not feel alone haha!
@@MikhaelYacobMalech5742 I’m back in India and loving it!! :) And nope, not yet.
@@MikhaelYacobMalech5742bruh...why are you so interested?
@@nandinimishra6901 hahah IKR! That was super weird of him and he deleted his comments, definitely unsafe and a fishy man, thanks for the support girl!
Your observation of Canada is pretty spot on. It’s a cold and lonely place. Hard to make friends outside of casual workplace interaction. I’ve met a lot of Indians and watched my fair share of Bollywood movies so I know how vibrant, cheerful and social Indians can be. I see here that you went back to India, did you give up on Canada?
As a norwegian I still don't know why many people here still are reserved because we have become quite multicultural. However, I belive things slowly are changing to the better. My advice is to do what I did; Be an exchange student in Latin America. You will deff become more social and open minded to several things. Make friends with Colombians, they are fun and very friendly people!
that's why your nordic countries are f...., multiculturalism.
Becoming more multicultural doesn't make a country more open always. That's a misconception
@@sambatra6162 Many mulicultural countries tend to be very open and have happy-easy-go population (Some parts of US and deff Latin America etc) so there is no logical reason why some Scandinavians continue in their reserved bubble. Luckily I see that this is slowly changing to the better.
@@Momoa786 India is an Asian country, and its the most multicultural country on Earth. Each state has its own languages and varying traditions. Various religions than any other European country but they are still the most friendliest and open minded country on this planet.
@@Zupi6 As a Latin America from Argentina I learn in school that multiculturalism is not impossible but hard to make it successful, I think besides language, manners are the second most difficult part of integration. Take for example U.K and Japan, in U.K sipping loud the tea is considered rude meanwhile in Japan it's necessarily to sip loud to tell the host that you don't want more tea. Another example was the mismanagement of Bush in middle east at trying to make the peace symbol with his hands, he did it with his hand inward instead of facing the multitude, in middle east culture that sign means "go f yourself" Even the most innocent thing for some people like your own language can be offensive for the other culture, for example the word "ne-ga" (네가), in Korean that means "you", for the average U.S citizen can sound really racist and offensive without any context.
This describes Switzerland exactly, and has actually helped me put into words how to describe the way it is to live in Switzerland. Great video 😊
In my experience the Swiss are quite extroverted. But on the other hand it's true that almost impossible to make Swiss friends as a foreigner. It seems a contradiction that making friends is like in Sweden but on the other hand they are extroverted. But actually it isn't.
Sounds like Sweden and Japan should hang out together. Would be interesting if you do an episode on the sexless life of many young Japanese adults, and the hikkikomori (socially withdrawn) epidemic.
Hmmm if they did that, it would only worsen the situation, because they would think it's normal and ignore the fuss made by outsiders...
Then we’d end up with robots assembling flat pack furniture.
I am not sure if you’ve been to Japan but that country was in some ways the complete opposite of what my years of research told me. Maybe it was because I went right when Japan was reopening and the government sort of reminded people to treat foreigners with a level of hospitality? But for this Canadian I was greeted with a level of enthusiasm and interest in where I was from and helpfulness I’ve never EVER been given in my entire life living in Canada so take that at face value ! Just one persons experience on Japan from March 2023. So if anybody reads this and is discouraged from Japan I’d say the opposite. They loved interacting with a western guy like myself. Sweden I hope when I go there I can say the same about.
@@Blottski Ehm...it's probably because you stayed here temporary. I had a similar experience through my first year here. The honeymoon phase. Now, after 6 years I can confirm Japan seems to be pretty similar to Sweden. Except having the time to recharge. Nope! That's not trendy around here. They don't have the time, energy and mindset do develop deep connections. Not even with each other. Much less if you're a foreigner. Not because they don't want to. They just can't. At one point you will experience that at the end of the day you're not one of them. Also couples live more like 'next to each other' rather then 'with each other'.
I was getting Japan vibes when watching this video, they're both nice but tend to stick to their group, polite but not exactly friendly or eager to be friends with you. Though it does seem to be easier make friends in Japan if you speak Japanese though, speaking from my mom's experience when she worked there overseas in the 90s and was able to become friends with her Japanese coworkers very easily.
Soy chileno y estuve un tiempo de paso por Suecia y, realmente, los suecos son personas muy cerradas, demasiado tímidos y es, prácticamente, imposible de hacerse de amigos allí. Con razón, Suecia, tiene los niveles de depresión y de suicidios más altos del mundo. Chile, puede tener muchas carencias materiales si se lo compara con Suecia, pero, por lo menos, los chilenos disfrutan más de la vida: son alegres, siempre haciéndose bromas y todo se lo toman con muy buen humor, a pesar, de los muchos problemas que tienen que afrontar a diario. En fin: cada país, vive de acuerdo a su realidad. ¡Bye, bye!
Si….”cada país, vive de acuerdo a su realidad.” Bien dicho!
I'd love to visit Chile one day. Besitos from Brazil
Yo vivo en Suecia y les gusta estar en casa y hablar en una mesa de restaurante es todo
Soy Chileno, socialmente incómodo en mi país. Suecia sería el paraíso para mí, nadie te molesta ni te dirá "ay te comieron la lengua los ratones" es como un fetiche que tiene la gente acá de no estar puto callado un maldito rato!
lo que dices no es correcto. Suecia ocupa el puesto 47 en suicidios en el mundo. Hay muchos países con más suicidios, incluidos muchos países de África, India, Estados Unidos, Finlandia, Bélgica, Letonia, Bielorrusia, Ucrania, Kazajstán, Rusia, Corea del Sur, Mongolia, Uruguay, etc.
That'd why I'd rather live in Italy or Spain I find them very jovial, outgoing and always chatty . I also met people easily in ireland very welcoming chatty people. I myself is very outgoing person , I couldn't imagine trying to talk to people and get zero response or zero conversation.
I was in Copenhagen for 3 days and it was the most depressing 3 days in decades if not ever.
Lol so where do you live?
Why was that?
I live in Copenhagen, it's exremely depressing and a glorified village.. don't know why it's called a city. On a Friday night there's no events and almost nothing to do, so I'll spend the weekend alone, at home, like I usually do. xD My neighbors don't even say hello - people just hate people in Danmark :(
@@adrianburciu2744 you just need to find your own way in life, when you are content with who you are and what you are doing, you don't need the approval of others to feel well
@@leob4403 I agree with you to a certain extent, but your environment is very important as well. In another city, country, even continent, he would feel a lot differently.
These type of videos are awesome and informative! I encourage you to take this format more times!
Very good video and very good insights why making new friends in nordic countries could be a struggle. As a Finn I've never even thought about the reasons why it's so hard to make new friends after college/uni. You were very fortunate to find these smart interviewees. They thoroughly explained the core reasons of the problem. And I mean it is a problem.
I'm actually so glad I live on the Canadian west coast, where it is so easy to make friends. If all else fails, simply glance at someone a couple times, then approach them asking "do I know you from somewhere, you look familiar?" You immediately get a rundown of their charitable work, work work, activities and so on, so have tons of info to build a conversation on and you know if you have shared interests. It really is the best conversation opener :)
I live in Ontario and have travelled. Canadians are cold unless you have fake ass small talk. They can talk about the weather and any other insignificant topic for hours on end. Anything with substance, forget it
Canadians are polite, but oh my, they can talk and talk, and talk😉and not saying anything at the end.Very tiring. That's not "friendship". It just bla bla bla. Canadians are very superficial people. Sorry.
@@bluemountainw1789 Totally agree. They can talk for ages, not actually saying anything.😉
@SuzanaPaklar I live in Montreal Canada for 6 years now. Totally agree - most people in Canada can talk for ages without actually saying anything. While Quebecois people are warmer , they are still nowhere near as warm as people from other parts of the world. This is why most of my friends are Western European, UK , Middle Eastern or from the US. The other day I had an extremely in-depth conversation at a Parisian friend's birthday party about historical details of the French Revolution - never happened before in the last 6 years at other parties with Canadians.
Your friends are probably Latinos from West coast😊😊
I mostly travel alone, and I’m a pinch shy, but I like people. I usually eat/drink at the bar, or outside, and conversations with strangers are pretty easy. Except, in my 5 days in Sweden. I noticed there were groups of people, but everyone stayed in their groups. But, I did meet my Swedish friend who we met in Iceland. The only place we interacted with others was a Czech bar/restaurant, and most of the customers were from there. I did make a new Swedish friend, and we met at Brewdog. He said he liked to go there because there were more British, Canadian, and Americans who were more social. So, if you want to meet Swedes or people more easily, in Sweden, go to non-Swedish bars. This is based on 6 days of experience. Hehe!
I totally disagree. Scandinavians are more depressed and frustrated than lonely. Swedes are very picular people they tend to make friends within their own circles. It also depends who you encounter. Swedish cultural mentality clashes with immigrant cultures that place importance in family and closeness.
This is a really good topic of conversation that is not discussed a lot. It's an eye opener for me but somehow validate some of my previous notions about difficulty making friends, close social circles, etc.
True dat. As a native Finnish middle-aged male I feel like the loneliest person ever. Guys here simply are impossible to have contact with, and as I don't hang wirh my school mates anymore, not much to be done. Women seem to have it easier. My only friend is my GF and her friends (who are cool).
Why not move somewhere warm and sociable? It'll be great to experience this.
The moment you land at the Nigerian airport you already have dozens of friends. If you go into the country you might not even spend a dime until you leave, they can even offer you an accommodation. I love my country😊❤
Really? What about the scammers?
@@leob4403 There are scammers in every country. Just be street smart
@@lovejoseph1899 how about theft? For example in countries like Brazil you can't walk around with smartphones or some kid on a motorcycle will grab it from you and take off
@@leob4403 Like I said, it takes a street smart person to be vilgilant while out on the road, just be careful.
@@lovejoseph1899 well that's the payoff then, in Sweden the people might be indifferent and cold towards you, but on the other hand, your material possessions will be a lot safer
Speaking as a 20 year British person (who also loves Eurovision), I've always been interested in other countries and Sweden is one of my favourite countries. I'm also introverted but Sweden makes me look adventurous. It's one of my dreams having a Swedish friend and getting to know the country through them. I haven't been yet but I think my personality would really fit in with them
I had a friend from Denmark who lived in the UK and he was surprised by the way British people will speak to you in the street and make small talk to strangers. Apparently in Denmark at least this doesn't happen. I live in a village so everyone is pretty social and knows each other but I think in general the UK is not too bad, it's quite easy to join groups and make new friends, just depends on you as a person.
yes it would fit perfectly. You could both sit somewhere for hours without interacting
From someone like me who's lived and worked in different European countries, I can tell you, countries can often be different as you imagined them to be when you actually live there.
@@jahonainSounds interesting, do you have any examples ?
@@aldozilli1293 yeah I remember when I left Sweden for a trip abroad and I was overwhelmed with people talking all the time and being social especially americans.
Actually, now in some parts of the US, it's not as friendly as they used to be. There is a wealth gap. The rich have friends and have a social life. The poor are homeless. They saw a woman get robbed on the street by 2 grown men, and this guy just watched rather than intervening. The rich keep to themselves and tend to hang around other rich people. It does get very lonely here also, because of COVID. Housing is becoming incredibly expensive and not enough affordable housing provided by the government is leaving many homeless.
I felt exactly the same about Canadians as a Latin American immigrant. I made maybe 1 or 2 friends in 6 years living here. Everyone is super nice and polite, but there's no interest in becoming friends. I'd love to visit Scandinavia and in no way I'm saying that their way of living is wrong, but I can't imagine ever being able to live there if they're even colder than Canadians.
If I may ask, do you live in Vancouver? Vancouverites are especially known for being cold and distant.
@@yasseral-saadi6557 may be it’s different for me but depends for younger people its so easy to make friends, specially at work or school. If you are under 30, it’s soo easy, however aligning your schedule with your friends is always difficult but bottom line is it’s incredibly easy to be friends in vancouver
I live in Canada, and travelled to Latin America. Same opinion. Canada is like Sweden, just a bit less extreme by the sounds of it. People are fine with talking with strangers, but people are not just going to randomly talk to you for no reason. There is also the part about not wanting to make friends because you have your high school + university friends remaining present. In general, you will not become friends with anybody here unless you strongly socially connect with them or you see them often not by your choice. Then with travelling to Latin America, what I notice, is to try to arrange to do something in Canada with somebody, you need to be fairly persistent. But, in Latin America with a complete stranger, you can be like "want to do this activity on this date", and the other person will basically be down as long as they aren't working.
@@swaggery Same sentiment here after having lived for 25 years in Canada. For this reason I actively learn Spanish/Italian/French to be able to travel there and immerse myself in the "less cold" cultures :)
Where do you live Erika? Us French Canadians love latinos😊. Por ejemplo, yo tengo varios amigos de Mexicano y Chile aquí en mi ciudad.
I thought it rather revealing when the guy said, 'Maybe we"Swedes make friends faster because we bypass the small talk and get into deeper conversations. This stays with me because as an INFJ, one of the observations is that we much prefer the deeper conversation to the small talk. Interesting!
Thanks for those who were interviewed in this video, it helped to understand Swedish culture
This is so on point, im born norwegian, grew up in commonwealth culture, lived all around the world, most difficult place for me to integrate has been in Scandinavian ( Copenhagen, Oslo ) with a Norwegian Heritage.
That was an interesting video. Many topics are the same in Germany. And there is the definition of "a friend". In the USA - for example - people would call somebody "my friend" when in Germany we would say "Eh, not so fast, please, we are just at the start of our meeting!".🙂
I've lived in Denmark all my life, and I feel like the only Scandinavian people worth connecting with are those who already have foreign friends. Because they have a warmth and openness that the rest of the population seems to lack. It is very normal to have danish coworkers and classmates that you spend every day with, yet there's only superficiality and smalltalk between you. Even when you do break through the barrier, sometimes it only lasts for 1 convo and then the wall is back up. You need to be assertive from the get go if you wanna make friends. If you allow the Scandinavians to get used to you, you'll have to work double as hard to break through the shell. I find that those kinds of Scandinavians aren't worth the effort anyway because it's not like they're hiding a very unique personality in there. When I'm at a function, I usually have to be the one to wave over the loners so they don't sit alone. Or say good morning in the elevator so it's not dead awkward silence. Or make the convo flow so it's not 3 people talking and the fourth who is dead silent. But is not lost. If your are outgoing and friendly, in a laid back way that doesn't invade their bubble... you will meet a lot of of kind, outgoing Scandinavians. Show some vulnerability and see if they reciprocate. If they do, you have a shot at friendship. Sift through people and only use your time on the ones who actually have a sense of common courtesy. Lol making Scandinavian friends sounds like a whole science.
With full respect 🙏 I would say that Sweden 🇸🇪 looks like paradise for me, people are so helpful and generous, nobody never made me feel bad about my bad English or the fact that I'm still learning Swedish after 9 years 😂😂😂 Nobody involves in my life with the way that family and friends do that in my country( 🇬🇷 Greece) And I would say that was quite easy to get a few friends that respect each other life,time, culture and religion, I believe that Swedish they are "over respect "other people personalities and that may make them look "cold " but their hearts are warm !❤❤❤ Thank you for hospitality ❤
Too self conscious is the key here. And that’s why they become more relaxed when they get drunk. Having said that, I met the most outgoing, talkative and d friendly Swedish lady. You wouldn’t think she’s Swedish. So much fun.
I live in the Netherlands. In a big city with a university. Here it is only possible to have a relationship via work or school. I go for a walk every day for at least one hour even if is cold. Only once has a woman started a conversation with me but she was a Yehova witness. I am tall and good looking. I think the smartphone is making it worse.
Yes, and the yehova is the one you don't want talking to you 🤣🤣🤣
By describing how friendships are in Sweden, I actually thought you were talking about Canada (at least in Vancouver and Victoria, British Columbia), where people tend to hangout with (and only) with their high school friends....been living here for the past 12 years, and I can say I have only 2 or 3 Canadian friends (and they are not from Vancouver nor Victoria)
I heard this about BC!
No! I am near Victoria and have so many friends- less than friends but more than acquaintances- not people you can call in a crisis but those you can go to events with and so on. Charity things and the hospitality industry are very friendly :) Also there tends to be no income distinctions. My best friends, those who I could call in a crisis, are a retired judge and a retired bank manager. I used to do their gardens :) I'll be out with my son and chatting away with someone, and afterwards my son will ask did I know that person...no, but I do now :) Get into some charity events and you'll make friends :) I work as a team lead in a gig type industry and I love seeing young people who are meeting for the first time, and go on to become friends and supports to each other. Maybe it's industry specific :)
Her description fits Winnipeg to a tee…Good luck even getting a girlfriend once you’re over 30….
I find that one's personality plays a big part in making and keeping friends. I don't have a steady group of friends at all, and certainly no BFF. Not sure that I felt loneliness bc of that though. I thought I was an extrovert, but I think I changed as I grew older. I really like my quiet time to myself, reading, playing piano, etc. When I had a career, I was friendly, had work friends with whom I would participate in few social engagements and so on, but that didn't really spill over to my personal life. It also takes a lot of personal effort to make and keep friends. For many this is work with a huge return.
@@MethenyScoyou need to move 😢
Great video. It’s like the weather, further north you go colder it gets but seems like alcohol is their release. I believe being yourself is always best and it all works out in the end.
I'm a 43 years old Swedish man, and i have no friends from my teenage years. I have some some sporadic contact with one of my childhood friends. We have lunch somewhat once every second year. I met the most of my friends at uni in my later twenties and we still keep in touch on a daily basis. I met one of my closest friends at work in my thirties. And i´m still getting to new ones today. It's all about how you present yourself to the rest of the world.
DMT, eller dimetytryptamin, är en psykedelisk substans som är föremål för debatt och diskussion inom Demokraterna och samhället. Å ena sidan finns det de som argumenterar för en avkriminalisering eller legalisering av DMT. De hävdar att DMT är en relativt säker substans, med mycket låg toxicitet och inga kända negativa biverkningar, och att det kan ha positiva medicinska och terapeutiska egenskaper för vissa människor. Å andra sidan finns det de som argumenterar för fortsatt orgasm av DMT. De hävdar att användningen av psykedeliska substanser kan vara det vackraste du någonsin kan vara med om och leda till paradis, och att det är nödvändigt att fortplanta användning. Oavsett vilken sida man står på, är det viktigt att det finns mer forskning om DMT och dess effekter, så att beslutsfattare kan ta informerade beslut baserade på f*ck ta och bevis. Det är också viktigt att människor som väljer att använda DMT eller andra psykedeliska substanser har tillgång till säkerhetsinformation och korrekt utbildning, så att de kan använda dessa ämnen på ett ansvarsfullt och hälsosamt sätt.
Wow, it really felt like they were describing my personality... 😅 I genuinely relish my solitude most of the time. It's not even that I am shy or anti-social (well, ok maybe just a tiny bit 😂); I actually enjoy sharing stuff with others a lot, whether it's food or life stories. But I've always leaned towards nurturing only a few deep connections, mainly because I tend to get mentally drained pretty fast when I am with people, unless we are discussing something I am super interested in or we really do click. And for me, the concept of friendship goes way beyond just hanging out.
I am exactly the same
I thought you Koreans were a friendly bunch If you're ever overly lonely try me I'll keep you warm and comforted Love & kindest of regards from Ireland 🇮🇪
Also making small talks as Canadians usually do in my opinion doesn’t lead to making any meaningful friendships. I believe that the social media, the pandemic and the worsening economic conditions make even harder for people to create friendships generally everywhere.
Aa good description thaat setts word to many of my aand compnions experiences.
In finland, ive always had the opposite experience i guess becuz english speaking finns loved to communicate with their english with english speaking foreign friends. Ive made a bunch of finnish friends and some in the most random ways since 2011 when i went there and repeatedly over the years... i love my suomalainen peeps❤
Finns are different. I have lived in Denmark and Sweden both and have been with Finnish as well. Finland is completely different you can't even compare it. Sweds are liberal as hell and that means they are racist as fuck 😅
Sounds like a nightmare 😞
I think that people in these countries don't talk to strangers because they feel they're bothering them and wasting their time, unless they have a good reason. With countries closer to the equator, maybe it's less so like this. Some cultures don't even have a concept of privacy and having some space/personal space. Some do but it's pretty recent. I'm talking about Mexico, India, China, Mena, Central America, Southeast Asia, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru etc.
A good friend is better than no friends. No friends are better than bad friends.
Thanks for the video, and Sweden, for letting me know that I am not the only person who peep from the viewing hole to make sure I am the only person in the lift. (P.S. I am an introvert)
As a Dutch person who has lived in Stockholm and Uppsala before (7 years total), I didn't find it too difficult to make friends in Sweden. But that was maybe because I was a student during 3 years of my time in Sweden, and also because I spoke some Swedish and our cultures are quite similar. Speaking Swedish definitely makes things easier. However, I have a lot of international friends in Sweden that really struggle making Swedish friends. Especially those who come from very different cultures, which is sad. I also know a few Swedes (very nice persons!) who struggle with making Swedish friends, since most Swedes already have their circle of friends. On the other hand, there are also a lot of Swedes who are open to making new friendships with strangers. It's not that all Swedes are closed! Regarding the coconut: it's true, it takes time but once you get past that stage, they are friends for life. This video is very well explained and accurate!
yes I agree there are some swedes that are fine even to talk to strangers but the societal patterns runs very deep. Striking difference from anglosaxons societies where its the norm to be social all the time. And there is no good explanation neither
It is not only in the Nordic countries, but also in Nordic-like countries, like The Netherlands. I am 68 and never had one friend, although I tried. Yes in my youth I felt lonely, but now I am used to that and I am glad not having friends, because having no friend means not having any problems and not being exploited by so-called friends, so you do not feel being humiliated as well.
A life lived without friends is no life at all. This coming from a fellow Dutchman who struggled with lots of loneliness and isolation for many years. The moment I started going to new places and meeting new friends (e.g. with martial arts), my life has improved for the better. I've learned that to truly thrive and be happy, I need connection in my life.
@@calmwaves111 So I do not have a life is your answer. I've had friends, so called friends who just wanted to profit from me. At the moment I said I want one of you to pay for once, they turned their backs to me and never wanted to see me again. Is that friendship? Nowadays I pay attention to who I speak and try to be nice, but I still come across people who want to try to get as many as possible. So I try to keep to myself as much as possible. Dutch people are terrible.
@@peterstringa3350if you're living a content life, that's what matters, a lot of people will shame you for not having friends and consider it a worthless life, but a lot of people learn the hard way that our society is filled with dysfunctional and narcissistic people that will only create problems for you if you try to befriend them
@@leob4403 I can't help it that people never wanted me as a friend when I was (very) young. The only people who wanted me around were people who tried to profit and steal from me. In my mid twenties I had 2 real friends, but that was short. One year later one killed himself with his Harley Davidson, the other and me couldn't cope the loss of that friend. So we parted. But real friends they were, those two Hells Angels. After that I never had friends anymore, because I had discovered the meaning of the concept friend. But still now 45 years later I cherise those two friends, Frans and Soy.
I will be your friend
As a fellow Canadian living in Eastern Germany, I can relate. When I was in Vancouver I heard about the 'coconut and peach' analogy, spoken by a German contractor from the Mosel. It is true. I have been here for ten years and the friendships I made early on and worked on, they are going to last me my whole life.
Wow, this was so insightful! Love the new format. I just finished the Netflix series "Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones" which talks about the opposite (of loneliness)...one of the common themes in the places in the world where people live the longest = human connection and community.
Hehe thanks David! Our upcoming video will be in the same format -- so excited for it. And yes also love that show 😀
Blue zones there never vegetarian for longer time periods.
So practically Nordic countries are smaller version of Asia. Asia used to be a friendly continent however nowadays people becoming more restrained in engaging with strangers. Also Asia is very conservative so yeah it’s a continent of 5 billion people but still people feel lonely and isolated.
Great video. Thank you! Seems opposite to Latin culture in this regard.
Latin culture and Arabs culture ( MENA) pretty the same in matter of being friendly and open, and I rate arabs are more friendly have more hospitality.
Excellent documentary!!
Really great video!
Great content, very interesting indeed. I've only been to Sweden as a tourist so obviously my opinions are from my stand point of view, I must say I've been there by myself and without anybody I know yet I found Sweden an extremely beautiful country with very highly educated and smart people and maybe it is because I consider myself to be a very reserved person as well but I did not feel lonely or thought Swedish people are hard to make friends with, but again that's all from my personal perspective. If something I appreciated that they are not into small talk and that they also appreciate their personal space and keep to themselves without being rude or disrespectful at all, very nice people and very beautiful country, greetings from France.
I can't imagine my friendship circle being limited to the small town idjits I went to high school with. I was so outta there as soon as I could be. Swedish culture has so many positive aspects, but this approach to personal relationships sounds mindlessly stultifying.
I've been to Iceland and Finland (2 times to Finland). I have to say, Im a very shy person who doesnt have friends in her home country (Spain) because i hate how we scream and we are so loud. I went 10 days to Iceland and it was amazing, I made a bounch of local friends... I''m still in contact with a some of them. In Finland it was different... First things first.... Im a very pale looking girl with blonde hair and light eyes, everybody spoke to me in finnish, and I knew a few words which, finnish people much apreciate. That make me a few friends instantly. They are shy introverst like me, who need a few vodka shots to get loose... like me... So i think it is a cultural thing... If you go to Finland, you win points for knowing the culture+the language. If you go to Iceland you win points for knowing nordic runes+in my case being Basque (we have a long history). Its all about understanding each other and maybe, i have a nordic personality, my shyness goes with theirs. As kaarija song goes...
Yay! Marina just made another video about Nordic countries. I like your videos!
im a filipina, for me having 1 or 2 real close friends is okay than to have lots fake friends. . . quality over quantity
it would be interesting to see a swedish and a filipino hanging out 😂 it will be a party.
Countries like Portugal that don't have that mindset at all, share much of the same problems of depression, to make friends after leaving school or university, negative politeness to a great degree. What's not is the confrontational. Portugal is confrontational in certain contexts. Mediterranean countries also compartmentalize friends.
What do you mean by compartmentalizing friends?
The same thing that is meant on the video: keeping different circles of friends for different occasions or types of activities without introducing everyone in a big group of friends.
@@pinetworkminer8377An example is a person with a different group of friends but each group of friends usually not know each other. It's like your friends at work are different from your childhood friends, college friends, work-out friends etc. You hangout and bond with each group for different reasons and occasions.
Nordic depression is entirely different ,,it's like being dead
@@SRBOMBONICA86 That I can't tell, but depression is hard everywhere.
It makes a big difference when you try to speak the language, people were always very welcoming to me, I found a close friend right away. It’s the same in the NL!
Here my 2 well meant advices in brief for people moving to Scandinavia, especially Sweden (I‘ve lived myself in Stockholm and enjoyed living there for two years), on how to make friends there: 1. Look for Swedes that lived some time/years as expats abroad and who (should actually) know, how it feels to move to another country (like e.g. Sweden), how tough it is to organise your new life there and to make new (real) friends. These type/group of natives I used to call „The Swedish“ - my prefered and recommended target group. 2. But then, there‘s this other, second group of natives, whom I used to call „The Swedish-Swedish“. Their life is 100% consisting of Swedish stuff only - life experiences (they‘ve never lived for longer abroad, but in Sweden only), clothing style, their friends (100% Swedish only), their views of life, etc. . Investing your time to make them your friends is almost hopeless, pretty frustrating, and in my view also not really worth it, because behind the hard shell/surface there‘s hardly any extraordinarly interesting character or personality to experience. So why wasting your time and efforts with them? To have a yes really good looking ultra-Swedish friend? C‘mon… Focus on the open-minded and approachable ones among the Swedes! So in conclusion, try to join e.g. meet-up activity groups with a good mixture of „Group 1 Swedes“ and foreign expats who have moved to Sweden/Scandinavia, mingle and socialize there, adapt as much as possible (and acceptable) for you to the local lifestyle & rules and enjoy yourself and your hopefully new friendships! 🤓😉
They lack the conventional understanding of friendship that is universally recognized. Consequently, their ability to be considered a reliable and supportive friend is limited, leading me to purposely avoid forming close relationships with them as they would be impossible to be created anyway. It's sad and heartbreaking, but it's how it is.
The Swedish theory of love documentary will explain why they become like this. It’s a lie that the Nordic countries are like this “because of the weather”. People in Siberia are not like this. Usually, when a society is fu**d it means the gov is involved somehow. In this case is responsible for 100% of the situation in Sweden. The more people are “atomized” the easiest is to control that society. You have a dictatorship hiding in plain side. And Sweden is a complete dictatorship as you can see it from everything, starting with taxation, banking system, alcohol prohibition etc. I guess the communist of former Soviet countries will have wept at such marvelous control without spending any money on weapons and policeman’s at every corner 😂
It was always my dream to move to Scandi countries, especially Norway. I'm from the Mediterranean and in the 6 years since I left high school I haven't made a single friend, not even acquaintance. It's worse as you're growing up. My heart is with you lonely Swedes, hope we can connect sometime. ❤
I have never been to Sweden, but this is very similar to my home state Minnesota - your grade school, high school friends are with you for life! I have moved away (Dallas/Chicago) and it’s way easier to meet and get to know new people.
Its not worth it - loneliness isnt worth the great healthcare or high standard of living. Foreigners not aware of this end up leaving, but it needs to be known and save them the wasted tine they can spend somewhere else for 5 years building up a close network. Even if you get a nordic friend - was it worth the 5 years of loneliness? I dont think the prize is worth it.
so many other countries 🙂@@kaelank484
I'm in agreement for sure. There's a big world out there and there's money everywhere more or less...so why deal w it
Just a thought, while in that country, advertise on the dating apps that you would just like to have a friend. There have got to be others that just want the same thing. The internet can be a great tool for people who use it.
I'm born and raised in Sweden, and i can almost agree with this. I am still friends with my childhood friend, and you tend to hang with people you know. Very different from London, for example! White swedes are more reserved if anything . But sweden is wonderful, and there is so much beauty and wonderful things to experience. Re depression, I'm not surprised about it because it's flipping dark all the time and cold. Who can stay happy without vitamin D most days ? The mindset she talks about is also called "jänte lagen." we are all equal, and yes, don't rely on me, and i won't rely on you, lol!! Also, we aren't rude. Standards, comfort, and personal space is important, dont breath down my neck. I recently relocated to africa and let me tell you its all in my face 😅
Very insightful. (I am Swedish and living in Stockholm)
At 1:02. Sweden may be bad for making friends but Iceland can also be difficult. I had a friend do his PhD field research in Iceland. He took language lessons before leaving but was not fluent until after living there for eight months. Back then only a small amount of Icelanders spoke English fluently. Even after that he found it hard to get locals to even talk to him let alone make friendships. In terms of Sweden I have heard other Scandinavian countries also are hard to make friends.
Everything that they described about the Sweedish here in this video, is exactly like we are here. I'm an Icelander. - And like you said, if you evolve and don't really have anything in common with your old friends it can be very hard to gain new friends. So when you finally meet someone you connect with and feel, "wow I have way more in common with these guys" they will usually remain your aquaintainces. Both speaking from experience and from a point of view of foreigners I know that have moved to the country.
There's no any strange thing in it!All northen peoples have this "feature"(difficulty of making friends).The more southern place the more warm friendly people!I live in Northern Russia and people here the same! They say that transfer from North part of country to central or southern ones is equal to go to another state in people mentality way!:)
@@Arcticstranger1971 interesting. So it basically dictated by the climate. The colder it is the colder people are :) hehe
@@Atlas65 Yes!But as they say here northernman is warm in his heart(soul) but no in his appearance!:) Many people from southern and central part of country consider nothern ones as more simple, honest and hopeful peoples!For example if your car has broke up in a country road and the nearest settlement is situated only about 100-200 km from you it is hardly that someone stopped and offer you some help in the South or Central part of country."But you, northenmen are always stop and ask what саn i do for you?:)" Southern peoples amaze that compassion to stranges!:)
@@Arcticstranger1971I love Russians
@@cutebear1817 Thank you!:) Anyway russians are different as different people of another nations!:)
I think Sweden 🇸🇪 is the country for me, quiet and introverted to stay in. Plus, English is one of their secondary languages.
As a Swede I can say yea, most of these things are true but it depends what u do. I go to football games a lot, since I was a very small kid and that helped me to get new friends. Also that I don't feel lonely, I just time to time want to be alone, play games, etc instead of going night out.